Youngjae woke unwillingly.

He knew where he was; it was not the place that shocked him.

It was that Jinyoung had him tucked against his side like he was afraid to let go.

He could feel the soreness in his limbs, and it burst into life when he shifted, trying to get comfortable.

This was what his sleep-addled mind grappled with.

Youngjae suddenly remembered everything.

Gasping pleas against the other males skin, yet not being able to gasp a yes fast enough when Jinyoung asked if it was ok.

He didn’t feel.. wrong.

Just confused.

Youngjae knew Jinyoung was over Mark and Youngjae was over Jaebum, but maybe it was just the residue from that.

Two lonely souls seeking comfort in each other.

Maybe it was like that for Jinyoung.

Youngjae could imagine no other reality other than that, but he knew the motives were not the same.

Jinyoung wanted to find relief for a night.

Youngjae had succumbed to the growing tide of affection, dragging him down slowly.

It wasn’t just this night.

There had been times where he wondered why Jinyoung seemed so irresistible, times where he just wanted to jump onto those lips, times where he wanted to push him down on the couch and just cuddle.

They had started out few and far between, but as the days slipped by, so did his tenuous hold onto normality.  

Even now, as he attempted to leave without waking Jinyoung up, Youngjae couldn’t help but pull the blanket up over him.

Or make sure to shut the door carefully.

Youngjae took care of his hygiene in the shower, reveling in the overwhelming reminder of Jinyoung in the smell of his shampoo.

Call him creepy, but the familar smell calmed him.

He realized then.

Mayb new things were happening, maybe they would ignore that night.

But they were still Jinyoung and Youngjae, best friends and co-conspirators.

Right?

On his way out, he grabbed his wallet, phone, and an apple from the basket on the kitchen couter.

He scribbled out a quick letter to Jinyoung apologizing for leaving and promising to call when he was available next.

That turned out to be a week later.

To be honest, he was procrastinating.

Youngjae was scared.

But he knew waiting longer was making it worse.

So, with no words or explanation ready and not prepared at all, he forced humself to pick up the phone and call Jinyoung.

When he heard the familiar, “Hello?” on the phone, he relaxed slightly.

Just hearing his voice, although it made his stomach flutter, relaxed him. 

He feared, irrationally that everything had changed.

Youngjae knew it was not so, yet he couldn’t help it.

”Hey Jinyoungie.”

There was a pause on the line.

”Youngjae.”

He felt emotion behind those words, tried to dissect it, to tell what he was feeling.

But the phone took it away, gave the voice to face and the voice no emotion.

He wanted to see him.

”Can I... come over?”

”Sure. You have the keys. I’ll be here.”

There. That was bitterness.

Youngjae hung up with some hesitation.

 Grabbing his bag with his keys in it, he walked to the door and quickly checked around for Jaebum.

While he was a major creep, he was also human, and had to earn enough money to support himself.

 Seeing that the coast was clear, he slipped his shoes on and headed out.

The trek to Jinyoung’s apartment was not long.

Just a few blocks, in which the anxiety built up further and further inside his mind.

He expected it to dissipate when he saw the door, wanted it to.

But no, it only kept growing, and by the time Jinyoung answered the door all the blood had drained out of his face.

Jinyoung stepped aside to allow him in and he walked in, feeling the overpowering urge to run out while he still could.

Then the door clicked closed and so did his apprehension.

His anxiety was still there, but he felt a bit more ready to face Jinyoung.

But it wasn’t him who spoke first.

After making them both tea, he walked over and set the steaming mugs down on the table.

He took his seat and they both waiting in awkward silence for a few seconds.

Youngjae was opening his mouth to speak when Jinyoung’s voice rang out.

”That night... I’m sorry. I made you do things I’m not sure you wanted. I wasn’t in my right mind and had no reason to do that.”

He paused for a second.

”It’s just.. after Mark, I found somebody else. Not necessarily on purpose, but they bad been there, and I found myself leaning on them too much. The attachment, I think, turned to affection, and the support I mistook as love.”

Youngjae glanced up at him, surprised, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“I fell in love on accident, but this person loved someone else.”

Youngjar gaped at him. “Who is this person?”

His words hung in the air for a second.

”No one you need to know.”

That was it then.

He felt it, the moment all the emotions hit his heart.

Youngjae was in love with Jinyoung.

And he had been rejected before even realizing it.

Youngjae thought about telling him, about doing anything, but his body did differently.

He stared down at the cup of untouched tea for a second. 

“I think I understand.”

Jinyoung’s head jerked up.

Youngjae continued, still staring at the tea, rufusing to meet his eyes.

”I fell in love with someone too, after Jaebum. They gave me hope, and once even almost convinced me that maybe I would find solace in them. But no, it is much like you. I was forgotten.”

Except it was different, because the person he was talking about was standing right in front of him.

But he couldn’t say that, not now.

He wiped at his face with his sleeve.

“Thank you, Jinyoung. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

He left before Jinyoung could say anything.

That night, he cried into the pillow, feeling very much like the forgotten tea, growing colder with no comfort, and a nuisance to clean up later.

—————

HA

Y’ALL THOUGHT I COULDN’T DO IT

I DID IT 

i need help

Okay Imma go cause my parents are concerned as to why I’m holed up when there’s a test tomorrow I know nothing about that i shOULD be studying for

Anyways

BYE

-WingedWarrior