His heart beat rapidly against his ribs, his blood rushing in his ears and making him feel deaf. His hands were clammy, no matter the temperature drop of the underground laboratories. He had never felt like this, and it almost scared him. But he loved the feeling.

Yixing bowed deeply when the doctor unlocked Yifan’s door, waiting for the man to leave before hesitantly pulling on the heavy handle. Then, it was like his breath left him. From the first time he entered the room, everything was nicely kept, everything had a place. Nothing cluttered the floor, and Yifan’s bed was perfectly made. Seeing torn paper around the room, and jackets and shirts thrown over surfaces, was alarming. The bed was unkempt, like Yifan was tossing and turning rather than resting in it, and yet, the other man was nowhere to be seen. “Yifan?” he said, quietly, and he wasn’t sure he even heard it himself. He could hear a choked gasp, then, after a moment, Yixing felt arms around his waist. He was so warm, warmer than anyone Yixing had embraced, and he melted against the broad back behind him. “You’re here,” he whispered against Yixing’s ear, his voice rough as if he had been screaming recently. That probably wasn’t far from the truth.

“I am,” Yixing replied softly. “Where were you?”

“Flying. Against the ceiling,” Yifan admitted, and Yixing glanced down at the hands against his hips, then gasped softly. The other’s knuckles were red and bruised, blossoming into purple hues. He spun in his arms and took the large hands into his own. “What is this?” he asked.

“I was angry.”

“What did you do?”

“I… punched the ceiling.”

“Yifan…”

“I thought, because you live up there, maybe you would know. You’d know how much I wanted to see you.”

“Well, now I know, don’t I? I wanted to see you, too,” Yixing breathed out, running his fingertips over the purple knuckles, before closing his eyes. He heard a gasp come from the taller man just as his fingers tingled, and a small grin found his plump lips. When he opened his eyes, he found Yifan staring at him with a gaping mouth.

“You’re so beautiful when you do that.”

Beautiful? Yixing had never heard the word in reference to himself before.