Namjoon saw her knees give way and immediately wrapped her in his arms.

"Woah there, Babygirl," he said, laughing softly.  "You okay?"

Somang held on to the arms that held on to her as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I must be dreaming," she whispered.

"Is it a good dream?" Namjoon asked softly, keeping her up until she realized she still was not standing on her own.

"I'm sorry it took so long to get here.  The office was..."

"Ma..."

Somang shook her head and stepped out of Namjoons grip to look at him.

"Please no!" she groaned, burying her face in her hands as it started to flame and every conversation they had had replayed in her mind.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.  "I wanted to tell you sooner but..."

"Where is Mathan?" she asked, sounding miserable.

"I left him in the book I found him in," Namjoon said.

"So...you...all this time..."

"I can explain...if you want to go somewhere less..."  Namjoon just gestured around them as Somang peeked at him through her fingers and nodded.  

Giving her a wink he turned and walked back towards the back of the stage and to a back door.

"Fancy some room service?" he asked.  "I kicked my roommate out so..."

Somang had to pinch herself for a minute as it processed that her ultimate bias was inviting her back to his hotel room, just the two of them, for room service.  She then had to pinch herself again and remind herself that she had had indepth conversations with the same man for going on three years now and he knew 99% of her secrets...but then again...she knew 99% of his.

Somang just nodded and Namjoon gave her his jacket and hat, putting the snapback on and pulling the hood up over her head before wrapping his arm around her and leading her to a waiting car.  Thankfully the hotel had private underground parking and so all of the paparazzi and fans were bypassed and the elevator went straight to the floor they needed to be on, Namjoon pulling out a card key and opening the door to a 2 bed room.

It was obvious someone had straightened up before they had gotten there and the luggage was even missing from the other side of the room which caused Joon to smirk as he took off his mask and started removing jewelry, looking at Somang in the mirror.

"Please sit, Noona," he said, throwing his earrings and watch into a bag and turning around to lean against the bathroom sink.

Somang was still in awe of it all as she tried to settle on some kind of reality.

"What even is this?" she asked, her tone all over as she tried to figure out an emotion.

"This is a hotel room and two friends talking," Joon said softly.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"That depends on who is asking, I guess," he said.  "To you I have been Mathan.  To some I am Kim Namjoon.  To others I am Rap Monster..."

'Not a monster....'

Somang smacked herself in her face and groaned.  It all made complete and utter sense in hindsight.

"You're not a monster," she said with a soft smile.  "But what should I call you?" she asked.

"Are we still friends?" he asked, sounding nervous and unsure.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Somang asked.

"I lied to you," he said as he looked at the ground before him.

"You did," she agreed.  "And I really don't appreciate it but...I think I understand."

"Do you?" he asked as he looked into her eyes, his eyes searching her soul.

"You just wanted to be normal, didn't you?" she said.  "And...maybe to know what people really thought of you and...to have someone who knew you but didn't really...maybe as a sounding board?"

Joon nodded as he looked back down.

"It is my job as a leader to make sure I guide my group in the right direction," he said softly.  "Sometimes...I don't know what that direction is.  I created that account to be a silent troll.  To see what people...not just our fans...thought of us.  Some of the comments were hurtful and hateful, and they made me doubt myself a lot.  They made me feel really lacking.  A lot of the comments were nice but..."

Namjoon heaved a sigh.

"A lot of those commentators did not seem to have a real grasp of reality.  We were separated from them by a wall like animals in a zoo.  And then there was you.  I followed your comments and opinions for weeks before I sent you that DM.  I felt like you really got it on all sides and you voiced your opinions well.  You even offered guidance and suggestions.  That really meant a lot.  Through you I became a better leader.  Eventually I came to you with my own personal problems but...I had to be careful with what I said so I didn't run you away.  And I couldn't tell you who I was because then you would have never spoken to me.  I never had the courage to tell you to your face who I really was.  I was afraid you would run away, and I would lose my only friend..."
"You have lots of friends," Somang said softly.

"Not that I could share my worries with," Joon said with a shake of his head.  "Not back then.  Or...that's the way I thought..."

Somang nodded at that.

"What made you decide to tell me?" she asked.  "I mean...we met last year and..."

Somang gasped.

"Your friend!" she exclaimed.

"Min Yoongi..." Joon said softly, pain crossing his features.

"What happened?" she asked, her tone apprehensive.

"I was going to tell you that day before I left," he said.  "I was going to tell you everything but..."

Joon sank to the floor and leaned against the wall, his eyes closing against the pain of the memories.

"I think the pressure got to be too much.  None of us were sleeping.  Hoseok hyung was on edge over his mixtape.  Jiminie wasn't eating.  Jin hyung's parents had separated.  Suga hyungs girlfriend caved to pressure and bailed..."

"Trouble in paradise?" she asked.

"TaeTaeah confessed his feelings and...Kookie flipped.  They physically hurt each other and...Bang PD-nim found out so...he put us all on probation and..."

"We all fell apart.  Hoseok locked himself in his room, Jin went home, Suga left, and I came to you.  I failed my members.  I should have gone after them but..."

"You weren't doing so well back then Joonah," Somang said seriously.

"I wasn't," he agreed.

"What happened to Yoongi-ssi?" she asked.

"He went to his doctor and got some medication for his depression," Joon said.  "He ate the whole bottle in 10 minutes.  Hoseok hyung found him in their room that night.  That's when I got the text message.  He was in ICU for three days.  When he got better we all went somewhere together for a few weeks to work on our issues and..."

Joon opened his eyes and looked at Somang.

"That is why I disappeared.  I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.  I wanted to but..."

"I wouldn't have believed you," Somang agreed.

"Exactly," Joon said.  "And by the time things got back to normal, I thought that I had ignored you for too long.  That perhaps you had moved on to bigger and better things and that you wouldn't remember me anymore, or that you would be so hurt you did not want to speak to me anymore."

Somang nodded and leaned back on the bed, trying to get a little more comfortable as her brain still struggled to find an appropriate reality.

"I thought maybe I had done something wrong," she finally said.  "That maybe I wasn't the kind of girl you wanted to be friends with.  You not talking to me wasn't anything I hadn't prepared for."

"What do you mean?" Joon asked, his head tilted to one side as he considered her.

Somang blushed.

"You were pretty awesome to begin with," she said.  "Even when you were a faceless name on the other end of a message who led a terribly boring life.  And you were...very nice looking when you finally did have a face, even though it stayed mostly covered..."

Joon couldn't help but laugh.

"And when you left in a panic for your friend back home...I thought maybe you would be the kind of guy who could overlook my flaws and appreciate me for me, even though I am lacking."

Joon stayed silent for a moment as he thought of what to say.

"I know I don't know everything about you," he said.  "I didn't feel that it was appropriate of me to ask.  I only know about the past that you have told me but, I do not find you lacking.  I think that you are very strong.  You have inspired me many days to get up and go at it again.  I think that it was Gods blessing to have met you in that chatroom, and I am very thankful you did not abandon me in all these years.  I hope...now that you know the truth...we can still be...friends..."

Somang tried to process everything that she had heard, and tried to understand everything that had been left unspoken, but that had been made clear as day.  She honestly did not know what to say to the mans compliments as she was not one who took such things well.  Of course she would still be his friend, but it was a lot to wrap her mind around right now.  She had gone from being friends with a down to earth boring guy who was slightly clumsy and worked an ordinary office job but who wooed her with poetry and philosophy and talked to her when she couldn't sleep, to being best friends with a world wide legend who (with s)" sold out 30,000+ seats in minutes, wooed celebrities they had never even met, and had a worldwide ARMY at their beckon call.  

"I don't think I'll ever not be your friend," Somang said quietly.  "I...care for you a lot."

"As do I," Joon said with a smile as he looked at her, his expression otherwise unreadable.  "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Somang shook her head.  "Just sleepy," she said, knowing she did not want to fall asleep and miss time with the friend she had looked forward to seeing.

"Would you like me to call you a car?" he asked.

Somang shook her head again.  "Are you tired?" she asked.

Joon shook his head.  "It takes me forever to come down after a show," he said honestly.

Somang nodded her head in understanding.

"Were you disappointed when Mathan didn't show?" Joon asked as he got up and walked over to his suitcase, digging for better clothes.

"Very," she said honestly.  "But the mini fanmeet was a nice touch.  It was very sweet of him.  I can't imagine how he pulled it off.  And those seats must have cost him a fortune," she teased, causing Joon to laugh.

"Were you disappointed when it was me?" he asked, now sounding unsure of himself.

"Not disappointed," she said honestly.  "Just a lot of things made a lot of sense and...I was a little embarrassed because of 90% of everything I have ever said to you..."

"I liked hearing how y I am," he said with a laugh.

Somang turned red.

"How will this work?" she asked.

"Like it always has?" he said as a question.  He wasn't sure himself.  He had never had a normal friend before.  Not one who knew who he really was.  "Just...promise me you will continue to like me as Namjoon and...not as Rap Monster?"

"You're not a monster," she said again, giving him a soft smile.  "You will forever be my Joonah."

Namjoon smiled til his dimples shown.

"Thank you, Noona," he said, sounding relieved.

Joon excused himself for the bathroom where he changed into a shirt that fit him a little better than Somang thought was necessary and a pair of pajama pants, coming back out and sitting back on his bed.

"Who is supposed to be staying with you?" Somang asked as she looked around.

"Tae-Taeah," Joon said.  "I made him go to Jungkookahs room.  He was devastated I'm sure."

"When do you all leave?" she asked.

"Three days," Joon said.  "We all want to tour London so..."

"You gonna be the tour guide?" Somang asked with a smile.

"No," Joon said.  "You are."

That brought Somang up short and caused Joon to laugh.

"We all agreed to see things on our own.  It helps us blend a little better.  Tae-hyung and Kookie are going off with a manager, Jin, Hobi and Jimin are going somewhere to eat everything in sight, Suga and Zephyr are going to sneak in some time together, and I was hoping you would have some time to spare?"

"Who's Zephyr?" Somang asked.

"Yoongi hyung's girlfriend," Namjoon said.  

"He got a new one?" she asked, before going wide eyed and smacking her hand over , causing Joon to laugh.

"No," he said.  "Zephyr's the one who bailed.  They were just able to come to a mutual understanding that Yoongi hyung had to quit being such a tsundere all the time and...once she smacked him around, things seemed to fall into place and...they've been making it happen ever since."

"Zephyr?" Somang asked.

"Her parents are hippies from LA," Joon said.  "They named her Zephyr Bleu."

Somang just nodded, eyes wide, before dissolving into laughter alongside her friend.

____________________________________________

Several hours later as Joon was finally winding down, they finalized plans for the next day, Joon called her a car, and before she climbed in, he kissed her softly on the cheek.  It made her heart flutter and her brain go wild as she climbed in wondering if friends kissed friends...  They had done that twice already...