The next morning Somang woke to her alarm and it took her a moment to realize the night before had not been a dream.  She had scored killer tickets to her dream concert, had met her idols, and her best friend...

"DAEBAK!" she exclaimed as she did a mini victory dance in her bed.

Running to the shower she washed off and dressed for the day, making sure she was cute but comfy and not overly noticeable.  Just as she was slipping on her shoes her doorbell rang and when she answered it, the most handsome thing she had ever seen was standing at her door.  She almost had to pinch herself.

"Morning," she said shyly.

"Did you sleep well?" Joon asked with a sly smile.

"I did," Somang answered honestly.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked as she grabbed her keys and locked up.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"Spend time with you," he said honestly, causing her to blush and him to chuckle.

"Caffeine," she said.

"Do you want to keep the taxi or walk?" he asked.

"Taxi to Starbucks," she said.  "It's close to everything."

Joon smiled and nodded, offering Somang his hand, which she shyly took, before leading her to the car and opening the door for her.

__________________________________________________________

Once they reached Starbucks Joon handed the driver ample money before climbing out and offering Somang a hand, not letting go as he twined their fingers together and shut the door, allowing the car to drive off.

"Ready?" he asked with a smile in her direction.

Somang could only nod as once again her grip on reality slipped.

Joon led her into the store where he let her order first before ordering his own and insisting on paying the entire thing since he had invited her out.

"Shall we caffeinate here or walk around some?" he asked.

"Isn't mobile safer for you?" she asked.  "I mean...a moving target is harder to ambush isn't it?"

Joon laughed at that.

"Not really," he said.  "Our fans are..."

All he could do was smile and shake his head.

"Savage?" she asked.  "Scary in their tactical and organizational skills and deployment abilities?"

"They are ARMY," he said with another smile.  

Deciding to mobilize the two grabbed their drinks from the barista, thanking her, and walked out, looking up and down the streets before deciding on where to go.

"Everyone wants to meet up for dinner around seven if you want to come with?" he said as they walked towards the London Eye.  "Otherwise I suggest we avoid restaurants, shopping, and art galleries."

Somang just side eyed him and Joon shook his head.

"Jin, Jimin and Hobi will go everywhere trying everything, V and Kookie will be shopping and appreciating art, and I'm pretty sure Suga is in Heaven at Zephyr's studio so..."

"Divide and conquer, she agreed, unconsciously leaning in to her friend.

When they arrived at the London Eye Somang eyed it warily, but followed Joon as he paid and waited to board.

"Will you be okay?" he asked, remembering she and heights didn't get along well.

"Yeah," she said, her voice coming out in a squeak.

Joon just smiled and took her hand, leading her on and keeping her occupied with talking while the giant ferris wheel moved.  When the car reached the top Somang in a breath as she took in the view.

"Wow..." she said slowly as she cautiously looked around.  "Breathtaking..."

Namjoon had a goofy smile on his face as he agreed with her, however, his gaze was solely on her. Somang looked back at him and smiled, completely oblivious to how smitten he was with her.  When their ride was over Joon took Somang's hand in his and pulled her with him to a nearby park where they sat on a bench and watched people walk by.

"Our flight leaves tomorrow," he said sadly after a while.  "We go to the America's next."

Somang just hummed and leaned against him, trying not to think about them parting ways.  She almost feared how long it would be before she heard from him again.

"You make it very hard to leave," he admitted, and in his heart, he knew that it was true.

So many nights he had stayed awake wishing he could tell her everything, but in his heart he knew that it would never be fair to her.  He belonged to his fans...his ARMY.  He knew that if he confessed his love to someone and the world found out...  Love was a dangerous game to play in his profession.  He would either lose fans all together, or he would lose her from the pressure his fans would place upon her.  He had seen one too many relationships fail because of the difference in status.  He had watched his best friend almost die because he decided to give love a go.  Granted he had gone about it the wrong way, and granted none of their fans yet knew...  Namjoon didn't want to even think about his hyung being hurt again.  But just like announcing love to the world, he had seen the damage done by keeping love a secret.  Their sunbaenims were in the middle of a fan protest because several years ago one of the members had kept his relationship a secret right up until his wedding.  He just couldn't justify that kind of life...much less dragging someone else in to it.  He was afraid to even hint at wanting love.  But he was also a man, and he had struggled with being alone for a long time now.  He knew what he band mates thought.  He knew they all only wished for everyone elses happiness but...  Suga kept his secret closely guarded, and Taehyung and Jungkook hid behind something they knew they could get away with...  He just didn't know and didn't realize he had been so deep in thought until something nudged his side.

"Are you okay Joonah?" Somang asked softly, giving him a look of concern.

Namjoon just flashed her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and nodded.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.

"I think...that life isn't fair," he said, his lips turning down into a pout.

Somang just snorted.  She knew that fact to be all too correct.  Life wasn't fair.  She expected nothing less.

"Some times I wonder if the sacrifices we make...."  Joon just shook his head and cut himself off.  He knew how very lucky the seven of them were and he knew all too well that one day it would suddenly end and they would no longer be relevant.  He just didn't know how much longer that would be.  The average idol group lasted between five and seven years.  A few had lasted longer than ten but...

"I don't envy you..."  Somang said softly.  "I can't even begin to imagine what your life is like..."

"It's lonely," Namjoon said as he looked at their hands and felt a painful throb in his chest.  "I mean...I have the other guys and...my family.  We have friends but...all my friends have girlfriends or...someone they can show their whole selves to and...I don't.  I don't think that I'm allowed."

"Why aren't you allowed?" Somang asked, sounding a little indignant.

"I don't think our fans would understand," he said softly.

"Then they are not your fans," Somang said with conviction.

"How so?" Namjoon asked.

"Because your fans would understand," she said.  "You can't be alone for the rest of your life.  And it isn't fair to ask you to stay alone until they are all happily married on their own.  You would risk missing out on the love of your life and never being happy for the sake of people you have never really met."

"But I owe those people," Namjoon said, his brow drawn.  "Our fans..."

"They work endlessly for us so that we can live without regret...  So that our families can live with honor.  I could never..."

"Joonah..."

Somang sighed and readjusted herself.  

"There will come a day when you will have to choose between placating the most immature fan you have, and finally having happiness for yourself.  It is unavoidable.  The people who truly love you for all of the reasons they should will be happy for you and will accept whomever it is you choose to love, as long as they are good to you and love you as you deserve.  Those are the only fans you need.  Live happily in all aspects and...search diligently for the one who will love you when the ocean before you goes black, because one day it will.  And when you find that person...never let them go.  You probably won't ever find another and...when you realize what you had...you might always live with regret.  That is not the life to have."

Joon let out a soft laugh as a smile broke through his mask.

"You're so smart, Noona," he said, giving her a dimpled grin.

"M not," she said shyly.

Joon just nodded and was lost in thought for another moment before standing and slowly pulling her with him.

"You'll come to dinner won't you?" he asked, looking her in the eye.

"Of course," she said without hesitation.  "What time is it?"

"Almost 5 but...I need to grab some things before I go to dinner.  Feel like shopping around?" he asked.  "Or I could take you back home if you need to change?"

Somang thought for a moment before shaking her head.

"I think I'm okay.  I'll come with you."

Joon smiled and pulled her to him, his mind settling on what he knew was right, over what he knew he needed to do.