//. TEASERS
HEADDESK(s)! 。 :ㅤ office romance ? false advertising ಥ_ಥ #newlayout #c-c-checkusout #bsyupdated #applyopen
Not only had her morning routine been disrupted by Chanyeol hauling into the meeting room with a seemingly apologetic gaze as he strips her out of her duties to aid a flailing Joonmyeon, who was quite in a near state of death. The said male had been hunching over a toilet as he wrenched the contents of his guts out, panting in reverb as he denies himself the presence of two idle adults, poised at the front door.
"What the is he doing?" She seethed, whipping her head at the faultless passerby.
Chanyeol shared a brilliant, white smile, complemented with a full view of his anterior teeths. "Some intern offered him rocky road."
For a second, the female beside him had stilled, unable to comprehend the connection between Joonmyeon spilling out the entirety of his intestines and the outwardly harmless treat. "Oh," she breathed out, gaze trailing back to Joonmyeon who now had his head halfway into the toilet, gripping the rim with white knuckles.
"Unless he's actually dying," Shiyoon loured, "you better not interrupt any more of my meetings."
It was a warning fully comprehended by the receiver and Chanyeol tilts his head for a nod whilst raising a hand to point at the male in discussion. "What should I do with him?"
The supposedly official babysitter of Kim Joonmyeon had dragged a slow palm over the expanse of her facial skin. "Get him some allergy relief? Phone his goddamn secretary-- why, god why, did you have to come and get me? He won't die Chanyeol. The worst that could happen is that he'll pass out on exhaustion and stop trying to acid reflux the entirety of his oesophagus."
Chanyeol paid her a sympathetic nod. "Still, you've known him longer than any of us do and I thought you'd have a better chance in subsiding his," the male made subtle hand gestures at that thing over the toilet, "-condition."
All he received was a blatant scoff and off she went.
"Joonmyeon you ," Shiyoon declared as she made bold strides over to her so-called best friend forever.
For a split second, the said male had searched for the source of her voice as he made a pained expression before egging at his antics once more. "Can't-" he spitted nothing more than air into the vitreous china bowl, "-talk-" she sees him tearing up, "-need-" and another attempt at vomitting, "-to-"
A tight grasp around his collar yanked him backwards as he met Shiyoon's blazing orbs. "You should know by now," her voice was laced with menace, "that you never throw up just because you ate a few damned marshmallows."
He wheezes out a dry breath. "B-but-"
"Not buts, ifs or ands. This is- seriously Kim Joonmyeon. You're halfway to fifty! Act your goddamn age! You know that you're intolerant to marshmallows and you obviously knew that rocky road consists of chocolate AND marshmallows."
Joonmyeon fell silent as he gradually gathered his leg underneath him in a humble position, hands angled so that his palms were at the edge of his knees. "Yes ma'am."
"What's your pathetic excuse this time?"
His eyes rolled upwards to observe her reaction, head unmoving as he drew his lips inwards in a manner, establishing a groove for a mouth. "Let's not blame the new guy for this..."
Two hands came together to clap over his cheeks as Shiyoon squeezed him to the point of dori's, from finding nemo's, facial dimensions. "No. One. Mentioned. The. Intern." She leered.
"You should give up Joon," Chanyeol advised as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed in an extremely casual manner.
By this time, Shiyoon had failed to notice the expanding audience as they pushed and shoved for a spot to obtain a of the show. Chanyeol did nothing but stepped aside as more and more staff of Monster Inc. came to relief themselves of the sight of their boss, Kim Joonmyeon, getting his whiped for the nth time that day. Yes, in a single day.
Joonmyeon let out a flurry of eye movements as it shifted in between the thunderous area directly in front of him and the tetris-like employees over at the entrance. "Uhh," he stalled.
"You should confess your sins before you're a goner sir!" One employee piped.
"Did anyone bring their phone?" Another could be heard.
The pressure against his cheeks exponentially rose as he felt his jaw strain against the hold. "Tap out! Tap out!" He panicked, patting against Shiyoon's dorsal side. She had given him a slight leeway as his eyes watered a slight red, choking out the next few words.
"I apologise for being a grown infant engrossed in self-gratification over measly items such as fluffy, plush balls of sucrose." He sniffed, admittance up in the air.
"And?" Came the sharp encouragement (though it was more of a threat for him to continue above anything else).
"And for staging acts of stupidity such as throwing my head inside a toilet and pretending to vomit-- which are all psychologically induced by my momentary haze of anxiety and stress."
In the background, he could identify his very own secretary whispering in a not-so-subtle manner, "colloquial!"
About to repent in the most glamorous way, Joonmyeon fondly wraps a warm hand over Shiyoon's as he attempted to appease her wrath. "Miss Bae Shiyoon," he started, "i'M SORRY FOR BEING ALIVE!"
The previously vexed female had softened at the confession as she released her hold on the lifeless male who flopped into the ground unceremoniously, like a fish.
"You didn't have to go that far," she mentioned, dusting her palms. "Just..."
Joonmyeon had glanced up in an expectant manner.
"Just make sure you don't use one of the office's toilet for your aftermath. The last time you did all the male staff ended up in the female toilets, which was more of an inconvenience above anything else."
A voice erupted against the mumbling audience, "yeah! They were all trying to peek over spaces underneath the cubicles and playing whack a mole with heels and a face is fun- but still highly uncomfortable!"
"I needed to take a ." Another clarified, "and you were taking fifteen minutes to just pee and get the out of there!"
"It was fourteen minutes and twelve seconds but that was no excuse to shove your head into my view like that! You're not a flippin' ghost for god's sake! And I know you just wanted to see what's underneath my pants!"
"Nu-uh!"
"Yeah!"
"Nope!"
"YES!"
And then, a cat fight ensued. author's notes >>> wtf did i just write lol.
thank you jihee's mum for this idea! by idea (if you haven't been stalking the comments section) i mean writing a teaser so that y'all are accustomed to my writing style!
++ encouragement for your apps c:
can't wait to see all of them <3 don't give up even though it's long and tedious (i know), i'd love to see all your charas guys ;; ♡ ♥
CYP
HER headdesk(s)! spoiler 2.0 nov 30, 2017 ＜monster inc. fess up who did it is ur name wifi? cause I'm feeling d connection ;) not the time for you underwhelming jokes joonmyeon. :( u know I wouldn't do it...
well, yes. seeing as to how long we've known each other, i would hope that your intelligence would exceed your past self. Please take me off the suspects list 😊 I was out at a client meeting all day And I have unlimited wifi, so there's no point in stealing yours 😁 point taken Was it called "free rubix"?
author's note: /drumrolls. and the award for the tiest teaser goes to--- lol well hope you enjoyed it guys <3 and big big big big megaton supa hella large thanks to dobibaby for providing me with the code and letting me use her layout <3 thank you so much ;; coded by dobibaby
It was not far off from a rather short moment that Shiyoon's cycle of peace and quiet broke down-- but it was, by far, supporting a much worthier cause.
"Baekhyun," she addressed him, eyes unpeeled as he threaded cautiously under her vigilant watch.
He took a shallow second to clear the contents of his throat (which consisted of nothing but a rather short build-up of mucous and air) before pursuing to voice out his stand on the matter. "I apologise for using up your data." Baekhyun had confessed in a prompt manner, heels digging into the supportive tissues of his footwear as he slung both arms posteriorly, catching them into a hold as his left hand crossed his right.
From Shiyoon's perspective, all she could hear inside the raw contents of her mind was alarms sounding continuously as her pokerface gave no leeway to her hidden anxieties.
"That's fine," she dismissed his sins (others being his practically sinful existence). "You never knew it was mine anyways."
Baekhyun's eyes grew sharp as he took one timid stride forwards. "May I suggest placing a password on it?"
Shiyoon nodded in affirmation as she grabbed ahold of her fancy block of metal before glancing back up at him, "so what do you suggest?"
"Something burdensome to solve."
Her fingers never moved a single millimetre from its previous spot, actions halted in mid-air. "I mean, what would you do? As in what kind of password do you use?"
The male's brows knitted in a complicated manner as he scrunitised her very being, a tad less composed than his usual demeanour. "Pardon me for my impudence, but are you attempting to figure out my password?"
Well, that hit jackpot.
Shiyoon shuffled in her seat as she avoided his gaze and trialled the sternest tone she could manage at that point in time. Her hands were clammy due to her iron grip on the rose gold iPhone, watching as it heated up under her bodily warmth. She had felt the sudden shortness of breath as it came to be her last sharp inhale: "No," was all she managed.
Cursing herself, her eyes rolled over to Joonmyeon and Chanyeol, both of which had their faces pressed against the wide windows of her private office (well, it was more like Joonmyeon did, and Chanyeol was casually hanging off at the side). She made the slightest twitch of body language, attempting to look as poised as possible.
What the ? I thought you guaranteed that this would work-- came her messy hand gestures (and sure, she thought she was being 'imperceptible', but unfortunately, with Baekhyun's perceptiveness, nothing went unseen).
Joonmyeon's reply was even much more abstract than hers. You're supposed to gradually build-up to the ! Think of procreation, is always first!
Chanyeol had snorted beside Joonmyeon's so-called holy presence, earning a pair of scowling eyes in return.
"Are you going to help me correct our best friend of her wrongdoings?" The CEO of Monster Inc questioned as he nudged a forceful elbow into the giant's ribs.
Chanyeol had winced at the contact as his eyes trailed back to Shiyoon's uncomposed self, waving all sorts of SOS at their way. His eyes made the slightest shimmer of disapproval as he gave his attention back to Joonmyeon, "she'll handle."
This only resulted in Joonmyeon's discontented gaze as he continued his ministrations in a hopeful manner to get Shiyoon out of this deep, dark hole (he created lol).
Try and change the topic, Joonmyeon signalled, ask for his favourite colour!
Shiyoon's head noticeably swirled around to face Baekhyun, who had been thoroughly observing her, in an attempt to make a speedy recovery. "Well that aside, we should discuss more about you."
"Why is that so?" He cocked a slight brow.
"Since," she paused, giving herself some room for an impromptu scripting, "you are now part of the team... and that means we should learn how to cooperate with each other... intimately."
The last word had rolled off her tongue in a manner which even perplexed Shiyoon's very being as she tried to recall her reasonings for saying such absurd things.
"I'd rather not." Came his curt reply.
It was as if this Byun Baekhyun guy had caught onto her ropes and had been gradually letting it slip through his fingers. They were no longer playing the traits of push and pull. She was pulling an empty space and devastatingly, her heart clamped onto the hope that he would sooner, or later, caught onto her bait once again.
This time, it was her turn to question him. "Why?"
His eyes fled into the Siberias as his decadent lips pursed into a strict line. "Are you asking me as a superior, or as Bae Shiyoon, a twenty-five year old female?"
Shiyoon came to the conclusion of her dry lips with a blank stare driving into the furtherest corners of her office. She had been reluctant to share any form of answer to his unnerving question.
"Well?" He prompted.
"The... latter."
"Then in all due respect," he breathed, eyes locking firmly onto hers, "look, miss Bae Shiyoon, I have no interest in dating you. I'm just not into your kind." author's notes >>> a backstory to one of baekhyun's quote(s)! yay! and a chance to use the chat layout i received from dobibaby! thank you so, so much once again <3 i really do appreciate your hospitality in sharing this with me ;;
if anyone was the slightest confused w this plot: practically, this occurred after the marshmallow incident (from teaser 1) and joonmyeon had agreed to assist shiyoon in winning baekhyun's pw(?) (don't ask me y she wants his pw... nothing good comes out of it lol. use ur imagination yehet).
and then things flew south cos baekhyun is an observant and he's got intuition in general-- plus he's a hecka smart. and then plan failed.
whilst joonmyeon is trying to scavenge any remaints of shiyoon's pride as a superior and heart as someone who's sick in love, chanyeol does nothing to even lessen the burden (which joonmyeon had pointed out). this isn't much but it gives insight to their love triangle.
and if any of u are wondering, the whole group chat was staged (courtesy of joonmyeon's planning). chanyeol was actually in the office the whole day but baekhyun don't know that (or did he?).
and don't ask me y baekhyun used some random free wifi named 'rubix cube' in stead of investing on his own... let's just say he's a bit of a cheapskate! and the title had just enticed him bcos he's a rubix cube type of boy lol
tbh all the reasonings of this story will be as dumb as provided
because it IS called headdesk(s)! in the first place lol ♡ ♥
CYP
HER
ONCE AGAIN! NO ONE IS CHOSEN! I WAS JUST BORED OUT OF MY MIND AND
DECIDED TO STALK INSPECT ANY PUBLIC APPS/ONES IN THE R/S(S) PAGE!
THE GRAPHIC ALSO DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! IT'S JUST FOR Y'ALL TO GET
A FEEL OF THE CHARACTERS BASED ON IMAGE + DEPARTMENT! I REPEAT,
NO ONE IS CHOSEN. THIS CAST IS NOT PERMANENT. ENJOY IT THO C:
holy !!!! where did u hear this?? ! Should we be talking about this, guys? I mean, isn't it part of Joonmyeon's private life? congratulations ceo kim !
when will the wedding be held? ^ ^ Guys, I don't think that Joonie is actually getting married But I sure am interested in some tea c: Care to elaborate? c; but he's like 5? Maybe we should talk about something else?Director Bae is part of this chat... nOOOOOoooOOOoooOO
ooOOooooOOOOoo i nEED sOmE tEa
come on girlies,, let's not be too thirsty mommy's probs ting her pants someone pass me some wine spill us some teeeeeA!!
give us something that's sofa king funny I wanna sit on it-- tf is it even possible to sit on tea?? can we all physically talk? we're in the same room anyways. author's note: /puts on sunglasses. word. twas a good ladies chat,,, (maybe) coded by dobibaby
An array of fickle stares pricked the depth of Shiyoon’s skin as she dared not to catch a glimpse of the image presented in front of her.
A sorority of some sort had been organised in the formation of MI’s local ladies’ club, presently initiated at the hospitality of Shiyoon’s private conservatory-like office (though she had promptly refused its initial offers). It had been prime estate for capricious gossips and rumours alike, due to the duality of secrecy and soundproof walls.
Whilst it had been high noon, lunch had ended incredibly swift at the dictatorship of a ‘team lunch session’, courtesy of Joonmyeon’s splurge, at a rather opulent Japanese eatery. With such convenience at their disposal, more than a countable amount of Monster Inc’s staff had imposed on Joonmyeon’s vast wallet (cue paper dollars raining into the arms of the open sea) in their pitiful attempt of acting upon gluttony whilst economising their tight budget.
Between the feverish aftermath of chock-full abdomens and the hazy afternoon heat, both staff and superiors alike were stuck in the hypnotising haze of contentment. It was hence, the prime time for a good ol’ stack of gossips in between hushed giggles and twiddling thumbs.
“Bad decision on my part,” Yiseong commenced, fracturing the eerie silence which had formerly cast gloom upon the entire crew. “Telling you secrets will definitely end up with the cat out of the bag.” Her eyes blazed of discontent as she scrutinised the lean female’s being.
To further antagonised the eavesdropper, Mina had been fully engrossed in the distinctive hatched details of her fishnets, failing to catch the abrasive tension.
Receiving a mediocre blow (aka a nudge) straight into her ribs, Mina had frowned upon the contact before matching Yiseong’s hardened eyes. “Chillax, I didn’t exactly tell tell.”
“You mentioned ‘mommy’ and that was enough of a clue to who I was!” Yiseong argued, eyes flaring.
“Quit nitpicking.”
“Goddamn it Moon Mina.”
(Well, that’s what she said.)
Ryujin, who had been the more sophisticated figure of the two, obstructed a rise in emotional distress, pacifying the current dire situation. “Let’s not fight-- and as I have been saying like a broken cassette record,” she exhaled, a tad bit deep, “we should probably not intrude on Joonmyeon’s personal matters too much-”
“But it’s fun!” Jihee intercepted, bouncing on her heels. “Honestly, in the midst of this painfully bland office life-- we need some gossips to liven it all up! Give it some flavour!”
“Don’t augment these hunger pangs,” Jin stated, clutching onto her stomach. It only had been a slight step away from her previous meal that her abdomen had claimed vendetta and pursued to bother her for some more ‘ATP’.
“Wow, what a pig.” Aejin had uttered under her breath, though it was so inaudible to that no one in the room had ears advanced enough to perceive it.
“But honestly,” Dohee piped, “the does gossip taste like anyways?”
“My best bet would be a fake branded bag,” Yiseong paused (for a ing thought), before coating herself with unsuspended doubts. “Whatever that taste is.”
“Probs a delicacy like cuggi,” Mina drawled, breathless at her own wit.
“Talking about food,” Jin started, hooking a slight finger on her bottom lip, “are you all a victim of the finance dep’s masterchef?”
“Masterchef?” Aemi queered, head tilting in deep thought. Her attention curved towards her good friend, Heejin, who displayed a mere shrug in return.
“Who the hell is that?”
“Hold on-- is it that creep who offers fried rice as a consolation pick-up line?”
“I’m more surprised on the title he’s earned,” another gasped, “has he made it that far that he’s really climbin’ up the ranks??”
“Ugh, save me some sweat please.”
“He told me that he could be my sous chef; I told him I could sue a chef.”
A collective whispers and groans penetrated the room as a harmonised voice rebated the remark, “Get out!”
“That wasn’t a very a good joke, was it?”
“No!”
“In your dreams.”
“Maybe?” Heejin vocalised, lamenting the backwash.
“Oh god Heejinnie,” Aemi whispered.
A ceasefire occurred at the sound of a thick, syrupy laugh, fingers pointing at a certain female situated on the other side of the room, unfazed by the previous commotions.
“Look who’s decided to join us,” Mina sniggered, sticking one, lone thumb at Shiyoon’s direction. “Lovebirds be chirping.”
All attention raided themselves onto the design director’s bijou smile, the upturn corners of her lips signalled a rather helpless maiden in love as she scanned through the social media of a certain, ravishing male.
“It’s not the real Baekhyun.” Shiyoon countered, setting down the grand metallic device over her worktop and lamented at the amount of predatory eyes peering down at her currently vulnerable state. “And we’re not together.” She sourly added.
“It’s… unfortunate that he’s not responding to your advances,” Ryujin sympathised.
“Ugh, can you not? While you’re practically a married couple with your endearing Hwang Gallyang, it’s literally undermining all us actual single ladies.” The sales staff had hissed, as she tossed aside her obsessive tendencies on playing pacman through the contours of her fishnets.
To which, Dohee had snickered, “You’re just still salty about Minhyuk, aren’t you?”
Mina’s eyes transitioned into menacing slits as she hunted down the perpetrator. How dare she touched upon such vile subjects. “Wow,” she sibilated, “you did not just go there-- that was a move, noona.”
Antagonised, Dohee declared. “I’m twenty-seven! Not fifty for god’s sake! And no. That was low of you.”
“Well an eye for an eye, . Shall I start on Jongdae?”
Before Dohee could proceed to attack with another, yet sharp remark, the twenty-two year old public relations worker had stepped in. “Ladies, let’s not get ourselves into a meddlesome cat fight. We’re way too far off the topic by now.” Jin intercepted.
“So… is anyone going to spill the tea on our possible, future mistress?” Jihee brought out, eyes wide open in anticipation of a favourable response.
“As long as she’s kind.” Aemi dished in her opinion, followed by Heejin’s few, leisurely nods.
There was a heap of silence which ensued before the countless eyes turned towards the only, true source of such juicy gossips.
Who else would be a better reference than Joonmyeon’s best friend herself?
“So?”
“Spill it Director Bae!”
“Shiyoon probs won’t say anything.”
And true to the last contender’s words, it hit jackpot.
Shiyoon had opened and closed exactly twice, lost for a translation of her thoughts, before the door creaked upon under the assumption of two, hasty knocks.
“Director-nim, the old man wants you.” A nineteen year old intern belonging to the design team, Tae Kihyun, or TK (preferrably), rapped as he cautiously slides into the feminine confinements.
Upon arrival, the poor intern had been battered with a thousand prickly snares, mainly of female dissatisfaction at the disruption of their daily gossip stints.
“Oh my god! He wants you!” One of the ladies chirruped at the statement.
“Not in a literal way, idiot.” Another corrected.
Giving the two sharp, interrogating stares, Shiyoon slung the screen of her laptop down to effectively locking it out of use before standing up to the follow the said intern (who felt extremely out of place, like a rabbit being placed in a similar enclosure as a thousand pink flamingos).
There was an unquenched round of gossiping as Shiyoon retreated out of her personal office, cursing at the amount of undesirable comments being made behind her.
Just as she got far enough to block off any audible words, one wacky remarked had bellowed above all.
“USE PROTECTION!”
Spooked by the comment, Shiyoon had proceed to hang her head low (in shame) as she made her way past the corridors.
It was at a brief moment that she glanced up to check for Kihyun’s (or preferably TK’s) trail, that she met Chanyeol’s perplexed gave.
Groaning, Shiyoon raised one -stopping hand.
“Don’t ask.”
author's notes >>> here’s some low quality rebate from the insurance company (ive got none)Everything was on me (second time i did this teaser, see feed for more info lol)
Edit 01/12/17 (after second trial) Tbh this is my third time redoing it… it feels hella choppy like the dialogue are SO not in line ugh forgive me
Cries
Anyways
WHO THE WAS SURPRISED?
YEHET.
OHORAT.
KAEBB SONG.
Welps, u wouldn’t know wth these words are if u didn’t watch exo showtime
Meeps, my bad.’ anywho---
Aha I knew it I managed to catch u off guard didn’t i??
Beside the terrible 2nd third trial in writing the scene (ugh the first one had been a BLAST) now it’s just a sour plum crying
Shrivelled and dried up….
now i'm not making exact sense but
technically i haven't chose anyone and no one is chosen-- and NO ONE IS CHOSEN. this cast is not permanent and i'm just doing this to satisfy my thirst for writing office au until jan, when the real cast is spilled out (hopefully by dec if ur quick enuff guys!!)
i didn't favour anyone more than the other
the plot was totally random and now
it was so good @ first time otl
anyways
next ch will be about the boys @ poster
for teaser 5 i'm thinking of hunting for more apps which have not been used (so pm me if u want to b included @ next batch) just a summary of ur character and i'll ask for more as i see fit !!
the objective for this was for :
1) u all to get to know my writing
2) tell
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