Im so happy for new subscribers and also the upvotes this story got!! I was so surprised and happy :) hope you will like this new update and also comment. I wanted to make a story where Jae is sensitive but also the bold type when it comes to his feelings. This should be just a one shot or maybe to but somehow i got carried away by the characters hhh. will try to update soon. kisses!!!

The next day Yongguk had gone to work to the company. He should do a recording test with a singer for a new song he produces.

He somehow managed to drag the younger with him. Making sure Jae had the scars covered, not that he minded but the boy for sure did. So here was Youngjae wearing an all black outfit with the choker and eyepatch, jeans and v-neck shirt. The younger didnt want to drag attention he said, but to the older, he looked breath-taking.

´Yongguk? Um....who is this?´ a worker at the company asked just as they both stepped into the building ´You know strangers arent alowed in he--´

´He is my assistant´ Bang gave the man a glare ´and i dont see how thats your bussiness if i have someone with me or not. I can as well walk away so your singer can write his song alone.´

The man gasped ´n-no i didnt mean to--´

´Lets go´ Yongguk put his hand on Jaes shoulder and pulled him into the direction of his studio not letting the man finish his sentance.

On the way there, almost everyone they met gave the boy a weird look. He could feel it and his mood went down instantly.

´Ignor them´ the older stated calmly while walking, not sparing Jae even a look ´this all are just  materialistic people here, also they care for appearance more than the brain.´ he then smiled and gave a side glance.

Jaes cheeks turned pink and he nooded to that.

´You look pretty. And when i say it, it should be enough´ Yongguk stated and walked ahead but Youngjae halted with a mouth slightly parted from surprise at his words.

You are sooo gay for me Yongguk and you wont even admit it. He thought inside his mind.

-----

´I made dinner´ Youngjae came out after a while from the kitchen. He was carrying a huge bowl of a vegetable soup. He smiled at the older proudly as he put it on the table, waiting maybe for a praise.

Yongguk lifted his eyes from the newspaper he was just reading but suddenly gasped ´What did you--!´

He grabbed Jaes hands and studied his fingers. They were wrapped in little bandages ´You hurt yourself?!´

The boy immediately pulled out of the olders grasph ´I-its nothing! I wasnt carreful´he smiled and tried to hide his hands behind his back.

´Its not alright Youngjae. You basicaly have no selfrespect.´ Yongguks stare hardened ´Its not alright to get hurt all the time´

Jae just shrugged as if it was nothing ´im used to it. Its not a big deal.´ he sat down and took a bowl of the soup into his plate.

Yongguk still observed the boy. He didnt met a person in his life that bassicaly didnt care for himself. Hell, those bastards he killed begged to not to be touched and he didnt even do anything to them yet.

´Thats it, im taking you to see Jongup´

The younger looked up, stopping eating and blinked ´who?´

The following day, they both visited Jongup, a psychiatrist and Yongguks ´friend´.

´So?´ the older was sitting in front of Jongup in his ambulance. Youngjae was in the room next to them, just starring blankly at the white wall. The doctor that was still a boy but putting that aside, a genius. Blue hair, snake eyes and a mole on his nose. Kind of cute.

´He isnt a very talkative person. Or he just doesnt want to speak to me.´ Jongup stated as he adjusted his glasses ´he didnt tell me anything useful, but´

Yongguk didnt like this asnwer ´But?´

´So´ Jongup continued ´so i asked him questions and made some tests with him.´ he smiled in a creepy way that made Yongguk even more nervous.

´Just spit it out already Jongup´ Bang growled.

´I see you are very carrying towards him. How interesting hyung´ he chuckled.

´This is not about me now´ the atmosphere was tense.

´He has depression and anxiety disorder. Some post traumatic to deal with and including attempts of suicide.´ the psychiatrist stated, his eyes sharp ´and he has absolutely no respect towards himself or his body.´

Yongguk was biting on his lips nerviously, trying to think ´Attempt of suicide? But he never tried anything since he is staying with me. He came to me to save him not once but three times!´

´I will give him some medicine, that is a start. I want him to talk. If not to mee,  then to someone, you or anyone else. He needs to loose a little bit of steam. Try to respect him when he is down and please dont critise him for that. He will be moody, have some panic atacks and such stuff.  The rest is up to you´

Bangs toughts were interrupted ´M-me?´he asked confused.

´I very much believe that when taking care of him, that it will do good to you as well. To your own issues.´ Jongup smiled this time sincerely ´Its not bad to have a special person you care for in your life.´

---

Yongguk was at the studio right now and couldnt focus much to the singing male infront of him.

´Like this?´ the singer asked waiting for an asnwer from his producent, which was Bang.

´Lets have a break. I cant think right now´

´Oh. Okay, thats alright´

Just as the male left, Yongguk grabbed his head to mess with his hair ´Stupid, stupid, stupid´. He picked up his phone and wrote a message.

To: Emo Brat

 Im home in half an hour.

He send the message but couldnt tear his eyes from the word he wrote -´home´. He was getting attached.

Youngjae was looking a drama on the TV when his phone buzzed and read the message he got. He chuckled and tipped right back.

To: soontobemineGukk

Im not your wife, why are you telling me.

After almost two hours, Yongguk came back to the apartment only to find lights everywhere and that made him freeze. He couldnt get out from the studio that easy, like he wanted.

No, no no no no. He repeated like a mantra inside his head and marched to the living room.

´Ah BBang! You are back!´Himchans annoying voice echoed and the mentioned one gave Yongguk a hug while smiling.

´What. Did.you.Do to my home?!´

´Isnt it pretty? Its Christmas time, dont be so grumpy all the time´

Colorfull lights were shining from every direction. Hell, there was even a christmas tree decorated near the window.

Yongguk was speecheless.

His mind screamed Kill KIM HIMCHAN!!!

Just then Youngjae came from the kitchen holding a cup of something hot, wearing a fluffy red sweater and arround his neck was a huge scarf, its lenght touching almost the floor. On his head were fake deer ears.

´Are you ing kidding me?´ Yongguks mouth was wide open from shock ´You as well?!!´

Jae noticed Bang and took a sip from the hot chocolate ´Himchan made me hot choco, do you want too?´he sat down on the carpet next to the tree.

´Isnt he so cute???´Himchan was literally squilling at the adorable sight ´if you dont want him, i will adopt him. ´

´I will kil---´

´This is actually nice´ Youngjae was smiling gently looking arround them ´its the first time im celebrating christmas since i was ten.´

Yongguk was mesmerized by that smile. He wanted to see it more often. But then he shook his head ´im so done with both of you´ he was leaving into the kitchen but the boy blocked his way.

They were just starring at each other for some seconds but then Bang glared ´move. Or i will move you´

Jae took a sip from his hot choco again and gave the cup to the older ´here, its delicious, have some´ after that he quickly pecked yongguks lips and went back to sit, leaving a stunned hitman standing there.

Himchan tried very hard to hold in his laughter but also surprise by the action.

------

´You are very moody you know that?´ Yongguk stated, his eyes never leaving the boys form.

Currently, they were in the olders bedroom, Yongguk was in front of the mirror getting dressed while the boy was sitting on the bed with a blank look.

´Maybe its because of the medication Jongup gave me.´

´Bull´ Yongguk stated and turned arround to face the younger ´they shouldnt make a zombie out of you. You didnt hurt yourself for more than two weeks. Thats a progress.´

´Why do you even care?´ Jae hissed evidently annoyed ´its none of your bussines´

Yongguk lifted his brows at how darring the other was ´oh. So now you are not my bussines? After 3 times you crawled back to me to save your ?´

It came out harsher than expected and Jae flinched.

´Why couldnt you just let me die....´

This made the hitman angry ´What?!´ he stomped to the boy and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt ´It was YOU that wanted to be saved. It was YOU that told me even death doesnt want you. And it was YOU that suddenly came to my life! I do care for YOU!! Dont ask me why, but i DO!!´

Yongguk was panting as he screamed at the younger ´dont you dare blame me for your because hell, i took care of that already! Stop being a cow--´ he stopped abruptly when Youngjae started to cry in front of him. Huge tears rolling down his cheeks, breath labored and cheeks turning red.

Immediately Bang released the boy and made a step back, not knowing what to do.

´Y-you like me!!´ Youngjae shouted ´admit it!! you are here the coward!!´ and he nudged Yongguks shoulder hard ´WHY are you like this?!´

The older got a hold of Jaes both wrists ´Calm down!´ he ordered.

Youngjae hung his head down, not fighting back anymore ´thats right....´ he chuckled sadly ´im pathetic, right?´ he sobbed.

´You are, indeed´

Well this must be said, thougt Yongguk, but he was wrong.

´If you want to be pathetic, then you are. Its up to you.´ Yongguk stated with a serious tone ´i never said into your face that you are a loser or any of it. It was always YOU. Why are you doing this to yourself?´

Jae lifted his head up, showing his wet face from tears ´s-so what am i? In your eyes?´ he sniffled, trying to stop crying.

´A fighter´ releasing the boys hands, he brought him into an embrace. Yongguk wasnt the type to show affection, but even he knew that the boy needed it now. After his lashout scene.

Youngjae was so dazed he didnt react and just let himself be drown into the others warmth.

It was nice.

Very nice...

...indeed.

He didnt even remeber such affection shown towards him anymore after so many years. Last time it was his mother when he was ten years old. His body gave out and Yongguk stumbled a little but held him tightly.

´Yah´ the deep voice was comforting and the younger nuzzled his face into the side of Yongguks neck.

´You are like a puppy´ Bang chuckled and started caressing Jaes hair softly with his fingers.

´I like you´ Jae whispered in a soft voice.

Yongguks body went stiff and face showed worry ´kid i-´

´You dont like men´ the boy chuckled ´i get it. but you dont need to. Me is enough´ he sighed and hid his face in the olders chest.