A couple of weeks later, Hoseok had made up his mind. He was finally ready to confess his feelings to Jang Mi.

He had been in the year above her in high school, but they had met through mutual friends and had quickly bonded. He had introduced her to dancing, spending countless hours teaching her how to hone her skills. He had always admired her passion towards dancing. She had been quite shy when they had first met, but dancing had helped her discover a part of herself that even she herself didn’t know existed. She came alive when she danced, a feeling that he understood all too well.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he had fallen in love with her, it could have been from the moment they met, it could have been the first time she had shyly asked him to teach her how to dance, all he knew for certain was that he had never felt this way about another girl. Not even his girlfriend from high school. He didn’t doubt that he had loved her, they had dated for over a year before they had broken up, but his feelings for her had never been as intense as his feelings for Jang Mi.

He had often pondered the possible outcomes if he were to confess to her. The best case scenario would be that she returned his feelings and they began dating. The worst case scenario would be that she would reject him and would become awkward around him. He had been too afraid of losing her as even a friend that he had tried to keep his feelings hidden. Sometimes it was easy to pretend that he only cared about her as a friend, but other times, like when they had danced together in the club… he still couldn’t work out how he had managed to stay in control of himself. He would never admit it to anyone else, but he often replayed that moment of her body pressed so tightly against his as he held her just like he had always dreamed of, over and over again as he lay in bed at night alone. The only other person that knew of his feelings for her was Jimin. The younger boy fully encouraged Hoseok to confess his feelings, trying to convince the older man that Jang Mi would never reject him, but he had never been brave enough to listen to his advice.

He paced the small break room, once again too nervous to sit still. His eyes landed on the table where he had been so close to losing his self-control only a couple of weeks ago and he couldn’t help but smile. He jumped up and down on the spot, trying to shake off his nerves. Jang Mi was having class with Do-Jung, unaware that he was waiting for her. He had debated whether or not to ask her to hang out after her class, but he had bailed out at the last minute, deciding instead to surprise her, his nerves getting the better of him. “You can do this. You can do this.” He repeated over and over again as he paced the small room. He was surprised that he hadn’t worn a hole in the floor.

He checked his watch over and over again, time never seeming to move as he waited for her class to end. Through the small window in the door, he could see out to the reception area, and would see whenever Do-Jung left. When it finally reached time for their class to end, his nerves tripled. His hands grew slick with sweat, which he rubbed onto his denim clad thighs. He peered through the window, waiting to see Do-Jung leave.

Five minutes passed…

Ten minutes passed…

He frowned as he looked at his watch for the millionth time. “They should be out by now.” He muttered to himself. He left the breakroom and made his way to studio two. He pushed the door open and froze at the scene before him. Jang Mi was on the floor by the small stereo, Do-Jung on top her, their lips caught together in a kiss. All the air shot out of his lungs. He stuttered, the noise catching Do-Jung and Jang Mi's attention. They turned to face him, Do-Jung's lip curled up into a smirk, Jang Mi's eyes opened wide with shock.

“Hobi…” she said, her voice a strained whisper. He couldn’t form a sound as he spun around and ran out of the studio, bursting through the front door as fast as his legs would take him. Tears burned in his eyes as he ran without direction. Pain radiated out from his chest, half from the breaths that ripped their way out from his body and half, he was sure, was from his breaking heart. He arrived home in no time, with no idea how he had managed to get back when his vision had been so blinded by tears.

He took the steps two at a time, desperate to retreat into the quiet sanctuary of his apartment. He unlocked the door with shaking hands, his energy draining as soon as he closed the door. He leant back against the hard, unforgiving wood. His head fell back with a loud bang as it connected with the door. He slid down it, his legs suddenly unable to keep him upright. “How could I have been so stupid?” he whispered, his voice raspy, his throat raw as another sob creeped up from inside him. He dug the heels of his hands against his eyes as if he could stop the tears from falling. He sniffled loudly, choking on his tears, the tightness in his chest refusing to loosen.

He stayed that way, curled up with his hands pressing against his eyes until his tears finally stopped. He felt exhausted as he finally lifted his head. His eyes burned from crying, his lips and throat dry, but he had no energy to get up and get himself a glass of water. The image of Jang Mi underneath Do-Jung's muscular body was burned into his subconscious. He could see it every time he blinked. “Of course she's with him. I knew she was only pretending to be over her crush on him.” he rasped out to the empty apartment, his voice hollow and weak. “He's handsome, he's witty, he has a good job. He's the perfect guy.” He muttered bitterly. “What could I offer her? I live in a rental apartment. I don’t make a lot of money. I’m not as good looking as him… I was crazy to think I stood a chance with her. She's way out of my league.”

The thought crushed him, making him curl up again as his tears once again threatened to appear. He sniffed and quickly stood up and stormed into his kitchen. He rummaged through his cupboards until he found a couple of bottles of soju that had been left behind from the last party he had held. He had kept a hold of them, knowing that the next time he had friends over, they could be used. He unscrewed the cap of the first bottle, bringing it to his lips and drinking deeply. He coughed from the burn of the strong alcohol as it slid down his throat. He held onto the kitchen counter as he coughed.

When his coughing subsided, he pulled the bottle back to his lips again. He knew that drinking like this, especially on an empty stomach was a terrible idea, but he pushed that rational part of his thoughts away as he grabbed the other full bottle and headed into his living room. He dropped down onto the floor, not caring that the room was only illuminated by the pale, orange light from the street lamps outside. He put both bottles on the table in front of him, already feeling the effects of the alcohol swimming throughout his body. “Well, at least I didn’t make a complete fool of myself. I can only imagine how awkward it would have been if I had confessed to her.” he said, his voice bitter, as a harsh laugh made its way passed his lips.

He drained the rest of the first bottle and immediately opened the second, but didn’t drink from it yet. “I wonder when they started dating?” he wondered aloud. Usually Jang Mi would volunteer that kind of information to him without him asking her. When she had first developed her crush on Do-Jung she had told him almost immediately. He felt hurt that she hadn’t told him that they had gotten together, or even that her crush on him had returned. His grip tightened around the bottle in his hand. “I knew he signed up for classes with her for a reason. I knew he was interested in her. I knew this was going to happen.” He said, his voice rising and getting angrier with each word, but his anger faded just as quickly as it had come. He let his head fall back against the couch as he brought the bottle up to his lips again.

“How am I going to pretend that everything is okay between us? How can I look at her when she tells me about her and Do-Jung and congratulate her like a best friend should when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and tell her to be with me instead?” he paused, as if waiting for an answer from the cold, dark, empty room. He cursed loudly as he once again lifted the bottle to his lips, determined to block out what he had seen, hoping that when he woke up the next morning with a raging hangover, that he could blame the pain in his chest on the hangover and not on the fact that his heart was broken.