"Stop moping. I'm picking you up at 7:30. We're going out." Bo Mi's voice brook no argument over the phone. "My mom is in town and babysitting. I'm taking advantage of some 'me' time." 

So Bo Young got herself ready. Bo Mi wanted to do some shopping, walk around downtown, and later have dinner and drinks. Though she was not really feeling inclined to go out, she let herself be persuaded. I could use the distraction, she thought, applying a smear of gloss on her lips. No sense moping indeed.

.

"Where do you want to go? You wanted to shop, right? Are we going to GoTo Mall?" Bo Young asked her friend. Bo Mi quickly maneuvered the car to merge into the oncoming traffic.

"Yeah, we can grab a snack there while we shop and then we can go to Yongsan. There's a couple of stores there I've been wanting to see; I heard it's very eclectic. I'm sure you'll enjoy it too."

"Might not be bad idea to start Christmas shopping," Bo Young said, checking to make sure she packed her mask, in case the mall was full of people.

She and Bo Mi were used to hanging out like this, enjoying each other's company, window shopping, visiting little local shops back when Bo Mi was still single.  They would often spend the whole day together until late, sometimes even sleeping over at each other's place. They were like sisters; Bo Young is close to her eonnie and dongsaeng, but it was Bo Mi who has always been her confidant.

"How was your filming, so far?" Bo Mi asked, sparing her a side glance as she drove to Gangnam.

"It's going," she replied with a shrug. "We've gone through several episodes already. We only have one or two scenes left in Wonsan, then we  will be mostly in the studio."

"Is it getting better? You haven't been saying much."

“There’s not much to say. He’s not exactly avoiding me, but he’s not exactly around either.” She paused, then added. “He confuses me. I don't know him anymore.”

“Like how? You told me about your last shooting. I know what I think, but I haven’t seen both of you together to imply anything.”

Bo Young looked down and kept worrying a loose thread on her sweater. “Sometimes I would catch him looking at me, his expressions unreadable. I can’t explain it. Then he’ll look away.”

And she has, multiple times; she has caught him. And those few instances that she bravely met his eyes, waiting until one of them look away, it was mostly her that did. She never won any of their staring contests, not even then when they were together, most certainly not now. And she knew in a peripheral sort of way that he would still be staring, even after she looked away. She just couldn't meet his eyes again and again without feeling all out of sorts thereafter. 

"I don't know what to do anymore, Bo Mi."  And her mind replayed their last scenes together.

.

They completed the scene with Bo Young's character's appa passing away. It was a fraught with all sorts of emotions. They filmed showing her side of the phone call. They've done Hyung Sik's side beforehand when they were in the studio. Pd nim wanted to show Mi Yeung looking to Jung Hwa for comfort, showing the slow progression of their relationship by her needing him in her moment of distress. When Mi Yeung ran into Jung Hwa's arms upon his arrival, Hyung Sik did not anticipate the force of her embrace.  He was quite bewildered, and had taken a step back in surprise. The shot ended as an NG because of it. 

Hyung Sik laughed nervously, holding onto her shoulders, playing it off as him losing his balance from her rushing into him. They shot it again, but her momentum was slightly off, feeling self conscious now because of it. They had to redo it until Pd Lee was able to get the correct capture of their expressions together. All these times, Bo Young had to keep her mindset within the emotional frame of Mi Yeung, in order to capture and show her character fully. It was draining physically and emotionally.

Hyung Sik was able to brace himself, this time anticipating her falling into his arms, and her face looking up at him tear-stricken, "I'm not really this helpless, you know. I just need you..."

His hand cupped her face, fingers gently wiping her tears away. "You're the strongest woman I know" he whispered as he brought her back to the shelter of his arms. All her pent up tears flowing, drenching his shirt while he hugged her tight to him. 

She had needed a moment after that to compose herself. The set makeup artist came immediately to fix her hair, to apply retouches to her face, while they wait to do the next scene. He walked past and just set a bottle of water by her, not saying anything else. Such a small gesture, but why did it bring more tears to her eyes?

Pd noticed her still caught up within the moment, and decided to do another scene. He approached Bo Young.

"I think while you still have the momentum, we'll do the ending scene now. I like how you're still overwrougtht and overwhelmed. I want to capture it right now. Is that all rigtht with you, Bo Young-ie?"

She nodded. Pd went to look for Hyung Sik to let him know, leaving her with the set stylist and assistant to do her outfit changes.

 [Flashback]

"It's okay. I'm all right." he whispered as he held her close to him. His arms tight, his lips so close to her ears she could easily feel his breath. Their hearts still pounding from the close call with the "bomb." His hand moved to caress her head as she let herself melt into his embrace.

"Cut!" Pd yelled.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, rubbing her back gently. He noticed that she was still caught up from their scene on the rooftop, where she had completed a very intense emotional moment. Her face bore the tear tracks still, her nose quite reddened. He could never stand seeing her cry even knowing it isn't real; she is just too good an actress that she could twist his heart just like she did now. He walked close to her, catching sight of the bts camera still following them.

"I'm fine," she whispered, smiling at him, and then turning around, aware the camera crew following their every move. She felt Hyung Sik move closer to her,  his hands moving to "fix" her down jacket, using whatever excuse just to touch her. "Shikkie..." her voice in under tones trying to keep him at bay.

"I'm just fixing your jacket; it's cold." He said. "Are you expecting something else, perhaps?" His teasing her is his attempt to bring her out of her emotional blanket; one she would put on to get in character.

"Come on, we can take a short break." He said, grabbing hold of her arm and walking briskly past the crew and cameras. Moving quickly to avoid being followed.

They found a spot on the other corner of the roof top, where the spotlights used during filming were turned the other way, placing them in the shadows away from prying eyes.

He moved now to wipe her tears fully, kissing her eyes, her cheeks, her lips gently. 

"Hyung Shikkie, some one might see..." her attempts to discourage him were half hearted, as she enjoyed his comfort as much as it pleased him to give it.

"I don't like seeing you cry," was all he said.

"I'm just acting; you have done the same."

"But I know you. You go in some dark corner of your mind to do this, and it becomes real for you," he said. "I don't like the thought of you feeling this hurt over an imagined thing, even in acting."

"It's what we do; I know it's not real, whatever sad thing it is that I imagine to get the emotional response I want; I just shake it off afterwards." She is ever the mentor to him, knowing his potential even now as a very capable new actor.

"You can give me more acting lessons later," he whispered, nuzzling her neck.

She laughed and desperately moved out of his embrace, realizing how easily they can get caught in the moment and forget where they are. She grabbed his arm to walk back to where they were filming.

"Lesson #1: If you let a little bit of you get into the emotions you're trying to act, the more realistic it becomes and the more your audience will be drawn into your character." she said, as she ticked the points in her fingers. She continued on.
"Lesson #2: A realistic emotion is one you yourself feel. You do this already, right? You're a method actor. Everything is relatable. You just have to be brave enough to draw it out for others to see."

"Ok, I got those two. What else?" Hyung Sik asked; delighted to see her recovered from the emotional toll of the drama.

"Lesson #3: Find yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend that will take you out of the emo funk afterwards," she laughed at her own wit.

"We got that covered too; this is easy," he said, moving to whisper in her ear.

"Lesson #4: Get the said boyfriend or girlfriend home as soon as possible for a full rest and healing." she said then ran off mischievously away before he can say anything else.

"Why.. you.." he was unable to complete his sentence as she had ran off after that last bit of teasing. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face. I'll give you a full rest and healing, you just wait, he thought.

 

It was a perfect backdrop; the sun setting low in the background, streaking autumn colors in the sky as they stood in front of her family's resting place. All of them now gone, leaving her character on her own. Her face is serene in its solemnness, as if her well of tears have run out and all that's left is a melancholy she has wrapped around herself as a shield.

"I won't hold you to your promise anymore. I will let you go if you wish to be free," voice cracking, eyes unseeing, as she contemplated their characters' future, similar to their own present, it seems.

"I don't want to be free. Do you?" his hand once more reaching for her, lifting her face to meet his.

She let her heart peek out, unable to help herself from infusing Mi Yeung's character a little bit of her own, showing him a little of how she felt.

"Then you and I...let's not be free together then." 

His embrace felt so real, so familiar. The way he used to feel as he held her close, his hand on her back caressing her, this ever a familiar touch. And she drew in his scent, the same that still lingered in her mind, even after these years, never quite forgotten.

.

.

Bo Mi dropped her off last night much earlier than they are accustomed to, since she needed to return to her baby and Bo Young has filming the next day.

She is fiddling with her script book, re reading the scenes they're shooting today. They're starting to move to the more physical aspect of Mi Yeung and Jung Hwa's relatonship, and she would be lying if she didn't admit trepidation on her part. 

She looked up to see Hyung Sik on the other side, talking with the crew, goofing off, having fun. She felt a twinge of regret how it used to be, when you could hardly pry him away from wherever she was, time and again proven by the bts camera. He was constantly there, giving her attention, seeking her attention, always engaging, touching, looking. No girl could have resisted him, she thought. I lost that battle even before I knew I was in the game. She looked quickly away when he suddenly glanced at her direction. Oh Sh*t, she thought embarrassed to be caught staring. 

Pd Lee had met with them earlier, going on the aspects of their first kiss. He wanted more than a brush, saying it's not realistic.

"Jung Hwa isn't interested in just a brush of the lips. I know Ms. Kim wrote it to be romantic, but realistically speaking," Pd shrugged his shoulders and shook his hands no. "Talk and decide.  But make the kiss more than a brush. We'll do some practice shots shortly." He walked off, leaving the two tongue-tied.

Hyung Sik spoke first, "Not a brush, but with a little pressure. Will you be ok with that."

"Yes, no need to worry. It's not like we haven't done this before." 

"You've, uh, you've had other kisses? I meant in kissing scenes." He asked nonchalantly.

She looked at him fully for that comment, "Haven't you?"

"I just meant... I mean, I don't know. I haven't much chance to watch your movies or drama myself."

Feeling petulant, she purposely did not answer him, knowing he was waiting to hear what she'd say. "I meant it's not like we haven't done this before to mean literally, with us. It doesn't matter." she finished. 

"Places everybody," Pd Lee hollered on his microphone, interrupting Hyung Sik before he further asked additional questions.

They did a few practice shots. She stood facing him, as he placed the necklace on her, his hands lingering on her neck, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. He bent down to touch his lips to hers gently, then more firmly. Finally Pd Lee had them go through the full motions of the scene to start shooting. Satisfied after reviewing a few playback of the scenes, he signed for them to get ready. 

Action!

His hands moved to her neck, cupping her face, gently tracing the line of her jaw with his fingers, before finally lifting her face to his. Both stared deeply into each other's eyes, both trying hard to read each other's feelings behind the mask. Her eyes flutter close as his head bent down to touch her lips. Her lips felt so soft; he could taste a hint of vanilla mint gloss on them. The soft pressure of the kiss he intended fell on her lips, as he moved instinctviely to fit their lips together, a once familiar dance. He sensed her lips part, and he kissed her a liitle bit longer than planned, a little deeper than he anticipated, until her hands moved to touch his neck, his upper chest, and he felt as if she is branding him with her touch. And he kissed her a little bit longer, unable to help himself. A few more seconds longer even after the PD had yelled, "Cut!"

Both their faces were flushed.

.

.

The crew started packing up the set. Tomorrow was their last filming here on site. She was putting her luggage in the trunk of her car when she heard a footsteps behide her. she turned to see him walking towards her.

"Will you come early tomorrow? I think we need to rehearse."

"I guess I can." She replied.

"I'll pick you up." He said as he walked off. Bo Young didn't get a chance to reply at his abruptness.

"What was that?" Minki said, shutting the trunk of the car and moving towards the driver's seat.

"Nothing. I'm..he's picking me up tomorrow early so we can rehearse. You can come join us at our usual time.

Minki just raised an eyebrown.

They both watched Hyung Sik walk to his car, where his managers sat waiting,  trying not to look at her or him.

Bo Young sighed and watch him drive off, let tomorrow come then.

Within my heart there is a void I didn't know existed.

In my odd some years, I've learned to be self sufficient, to be strong.

I've dusted myself and learned to pick myself up when I've fallen;

I didn't need you to be whole. You didn't define me.

Then why do I feel so lost now that you're gone?

--Amiss