How did my life become so ed up?

Just a month ago, I was at the top of my game and in my seat in the highest honor of the office and business world. There is a reason why I’m the CEO and still haven’t collapsed or given in to stress just yet, partially because I’m expected to carry on the family line while I still can. I might not be the best at doing business with other companies, neither am I the best at maintaining the company’s reputation. I am not the only child, and I am not the better one in comparison. The truth is, I only agreed to take over the business because I didn’t know what to do with my life after I woke up in hospital. I have no memory of whatever happened and how I ended up in that state. There was nothing in my mind except to make up for lost time with my family.

If I knew the cost of doing so… I would never have chosen this path for myself. I didn’t know the torment the people around me were going through because of this, and I don’t want it to keep repeating – they don’t deserve the same pain and torture. The fact that they went along with this because of my safety makes it all worse.

“Jisoo?”

“Can I help you?”

My voice had taken on a strange tone, a cold one that I couldn’t recognize myself. I didn’t expect to have such deep-set hatred for the man standing in front of me but I do now. How can I not, after hearing all the things from a third-party who’s directly involved?

“W-What? I came to bring you out for lunch, sweetie…”

That term of endearment is no longer valid and I'll hurt whoever calls me that next; all it does it irk me to death now. Oh my God, I can’t even pretend to be pleasant around him; in that sense, it makes me feel a tad bit guilty but he deserves it for going along with their wishes. Although the others technically had no other option but to listen and be their lapdogs, this fella has no excuse. Compared to all the powerful families out there, Kim Taehyung is not far down the ladder. In fact, his family happens to be up there with my family. So if that’s going to be an excuse for him, I’m going to shove a stack of reasons as to why I think he is so full of . The worst part is: I actually considered getting married to him a few years down the road.

To think my own boyfriend is a conniving little liar when he’s supposed to be the person showering me with love and being honest with me even during hard times.

“I think you should get out of here before I call the guards,” I clench my fist at the sight of the blank expression on his face. He had a face that could weaken the hearts of many but not mine again. “Our relationship is over from now on. I don’t think I need to explain any further.”

The way Taehyung acted so depressed and left my office with his tail between his legs only makes me angrier. I can’t believe he has the audacity to be upset about all this when he could have chosen to tell me the truth or at least help me regain my memory. It’s almost like the lyrics of Rihanna’s song – baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught – it gives me the same bloody vibe. It fits so perfectly into this situation, because Taehyung did put on a hell of show and made me fall for him genuinely for two years now. If he had been a lying bastard who knew no boundaries sometimes, it would be a lot better. Going as far as to cheat someone of their feelings when you know damn well how ruthless it is... I will never, ever tolerate that rubbish.

“Wow, had a tiff?”

My eyes flickered up and I knew what expression I had on, judging by the way my secretary flinched. “Don’t ever talk about that again. He is a lying, heartless swine and will never be allowed in the building from today onwards.”

The mischief that was initially present in Yoona’s eyes when she poked her head through the gap in my office died off once she heard my words. I immediately felt a pang of guilt hit me; no matter how angry or frustrated I am with this situation, taking it out on Yoona is completely wrong. Granted that Yoona herself is hiding some sketchy things from me, she is still one of the strongest supporters. Whenever I need someone to talk to or listen to me, Yoona is the first person to offer her ears or a shoulder to cry on. When I’m at loggerheads with my parents, she’s the one persuading them that I’m just in a bad mood and I don’t deserve to be punished for feeling like a human sometimes.

“I’m sorry. I’m just hurt.”

Yoona’s eyes only darts to the ceiling for a bit before she begins to approach me. She is definitely hiding something from me, but I appreciate everything she’s done thus far. It’s not easy to be on the fence about something as serious as this, yet Yoona still takes care of me like we’re biological sisters. Throwing me under the bus would be an easier choice since she wouldn’t be kept under watch for so long – I know most of it yet I have to watch Yoona try and keep it under wraps still. It’s only going to get tougher for her to pretend nothing ever happened, and I think it’s what I deserve after being lied to repeatedly.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Yoona whispers against my head, her arms wrapped around my smaller frame. She’s trembling, and I know she’s about to cry.

For what, Unnie?

I want to hear it.

“Unnie…”

“Yes?”

“You’re wetting my shirt,” I say sheepishly, gently patting her back. Feeling slightly apologetic for breaking the nice moment between us, I allow her to continue resting her head against mine. Honestly if she wasn’t attached, I would have tried to hit on her at least once in my life. “Let’s go for supper together later? There are some things we need to talk about.”

Only this time... I'm going to ensure we're alone instead of some lackeys always following me around as if they've nothing better to do. Every time I'm with Yoona having a meal together, I can always feel a pair of eyes on us. It is an understatement to say that it always feels suspicious, because I know for sure someone is brewing up a storm on their own. After hearing the facts from Rose herself, I have never found myself to be more sober in my life. There are many parts of my memory still missing and have yet to find their places in my mind but I'm completely certain I will regain them in time. I wouldn’t be feeling such a toll on myself if it weren’t for that aching part of my memory missing. It’s obvious that someone, or something is trying to remind me of it.

“Sure. See you later?”

I intentionally leave out the meeting location, having a tiny inkling that it might be better for everyone if no one knows except me. Whenever or wherever I am... there will always be someone watching, waiting for me to make a mistake. 

Thank God for the heads-up I received the other night…

“W-What is it, Unnie?”

My blood boiled with rage, unable to believe how innocent my friend could sound when she’s been lying to me too. If there is something I detest more than betrayal and disloyalty, it’s when someone lies to me and gets apologetic when they get caught. If anything, Rose’s voice has already given her away the moment she picked up my call.

“Park Chaeyoung, how… how can you do this to me?”

Rose felt her innards tighten in her gut, wondering what the heck might have come to light this time. She literally got caught by Jennie just a few hours ago for all the things she and Lisa have been trying to hide her from and now this? This has to be karma catching up with their selfish asses because they wanted to protect their relationship at all costs. Their friends deserve to know the truth, no matter how painful it might be. Is telling the truth really as easy as people think though? Rose can’t imagine the emotional turmoil that both of them would have been put through if they had known the truth from the beginning. Now that Jisoo and Jennie have caught wind of the lies they've been holding onto instead of the truth... Rose knows there's no way out anymore.

“Before you bite my head off, Unnie, please. You need to listen first.”

“… Fine.”

Listening in silence has to be the biggest torture Jisoo has ever known, because she can’t even say a word when she doesn’t know what the hell is happening behind her back. Jisoo can feel her veins about to pop out of her head the more Rose tells her; things she never thought her parents were capable of coming to light one by one.

“You do have to pay attention to one thing though… someone is keeping an eye on you all the time to make sure you do not talk to us directly. Please be careful, Unnie.”

Thinking about it now, how could I not have realized that my parents were practically tracking my everyday life? The multiple cameras in my office should have been proof enough but I was too stupid to even think about it in that direction. When I saw my mother in my room going through my stuff, I shouldn’t have ignored the warning bells that were going off in my head. They were all signs that my parents were completely obsessed with my life and what I was doing every day. Simply put, things came to this extent because I unintentionally allowed them to. If I had put my foot down and demanded an explanation much earlier, I wouldn’t be living my life under their thumbs like I currently am. I’m already entering my mid-twenties, and my parents still keep tabs on me like I’m a rebellious teenager.

“No,” I mutter under my breath, eyes drifting towards the camera that’s fixed up in the corner of my office. I push my chair out and stand, calmly clearing up my files like I would every day. “You’re not going to get me this time and in the future.”

//

“Why would she look for you?”

“I don’t know, baby,” Wendy shrugs, eyes not meeting her girlfriend’s as she continues to experiment with her baking goods. She didn’t expect to receive a call from the latter on a working day; Irene is usually swamped with work until night fall. “Did you call me just to ask about that? Because I will be sleeping in another apartment when you come back to me if so.”

Irene rolls her eyes at the camera, finding her girlfriend’s claims extremely ridiculous. She does find it cute though, seeing as Wendy is still capable of getting jealous despite being the more rational and calm one. It gets even funnier because Wendy always claims she wouldn’t get jealous so long as Irene doesn’t screw her trust. Of course, as a lover, Irene wishes Wendy would show more possessiveness and emotion instead. So when there's a hint of Wendy getting jealous, Irene won't be letting that moment go so easily. Instead of telling Wendy the truth and easing her nerves so easily, Irene is very much in favour of teasing the woman. Why would she, when she only gets this kind of reaction once in a blue mo