Rose hated alcohol.

Well – maybe not alcohol by itself but people who drank often were definitely not her cup of tea. Rose has seen so many things happen as a consequence of drinking too much and she finds it stupid when the people spoken of start to regret their drunken actions. Where or what is the point in that? The consequences of their actions are going to be the lesson they learn and if they can't handle that, it's their own damn problem. Rose, unfortunately, was put into the situation as middle-man back in middle school and she literally felt like she could die in the midst of it all. If it wasn't for Lisa, Rose wouldn't have dealt with everything so smoothly. 

Since she got to know Lisa, the latter's been a pillar of support for her even as best friends. In fact, Rose feels guilty because she'd never be able to repay Lisa for her support so many years ago.

It is indeed ironic though, because here Rose stands with a rock glass full of whiskey in hand and she has been downing it raw. She needed an escape, and this is her only route for now. 

“Chaeyoung?”

Rose momentarily froze when she heard her name but downed the shot nevertheless. She isn’t afraid of getting caught; she’s more apprehensive of heavy confrontation with her girlfriend. Though she doesn't know if Lisa has the right to get angry with this situation, because part of Rose's frustrations has something to do with Lisa. 

“Baby?” Lisa rubbed at her eyes sleepily and approached the kitchen counter, standing on the opposite of where Rose is. She frowned when she caught sight of the bottle sitting at the other end of the counter - Rose doesn't drink; even if she does, it's only at small gatherings.

“A-Are you drinking?”

“You can see for yourself.”

Rose pretended not to notice the flinch Lisa had for a split second, although she did feel a pinch in her chest at Lisa’s wince. She didn’t want to give in and end up regretting her actions in the end. It’s because of her soft-heartedness and inability to retort her girlfriend and that’s why Rose feels terrible every time she has to clean up Jennie’s mess. She knows all about the way Jennie behaves when she's alone; only God knows how much Rose wants to change everything. It is fairly obvious that it's going to be difficult after keeping it for so many years. 

Technically, she wasn't the one who kept the secret first. In fact, she only found out because she chanced upon her girlfriend's inbox that was open on her desktop. Rose isn't saying that all this is on Lisa, because she had the chance to reveal the truth much earlier too.

“Chaeyoung, talk to me. Please.”

“I don’t know what to say, Lisa,” Rose muttered tiredly, putting down the glass once the alcohol hit . She ran her fingers through her freshly-dyed brown locks and sat down, “the only thing there is left is to say sorry to Jen.”

Lisa's expression changed immediately and she took a step back from where she was originally standing. She couldn't deny that at all. She might look completely fine and heartless from where everyone else is standing but no one actually knows what she feels like on the inside. They don't manage to catch the pain in her gaze because Lisa tries not to show it when Jennie is around. Honestly, it isn't Lisa's selfishness that's stopping her from spilling everything but she has a promise to keep and she doesn't plan on breaking it yet. 

Whether Rose chooses to remember that, Lisa has absolutely no control over that. She really wants Rose to understand her for a bit but this has been a problem between them for years. Neither of them wanted to dwell on it for too long or it'll affect their relationship deeply. 

“I… I’m sorry.”

Rose felt her heart sink when Lisa turned around and began to make her way back to their bedroom with hunched shoulders. She didn’t mean to start another guilt trip on her girlfriend. The pressure’s getting to Rose and the influence of alcohol is not helping things here. Why did it always have to end up this way? Rose knows how tough it is for the both of them but her emotions always take over her before she knows it. It was and still is the one thing that’s bothering the both of them but neither addressed the problem. Rose didn’t want it to end up like this; they would have another cold war tomorrow.

Lisa shouldn't need this. She's trying so hard to maintain a good balance between both sides even with the guilt weighing her down. The one tiny thing outsiders weren't aware of was Lisa had been in a rut lately. Her modelling career had been spiraling downwards for a month now and she's still trying so hard to smile in front of her. 

“Jesus, Chaeyoung. Why don’t you open your damn mouth when you’re sober only instead of after drinking?”

And while Rose continued to berate herself in the kitchen, she didn’t hear the sobbing sounds coming from their bedroom. 

Lisa buried her face into her pillow, fingers clenched tightly into a ball as she fisted the covers. She felt terrible every day, knowing that her friends oculd have been a lot happier if nothing involved her in the first place. Not just her friends. Rose could be a lot more joyful and without worries if Lisa wasn't in the picture. Lisa wanted to slap herself for being so tough to accommodate all the time and for being so hard to read. She should have known this is the reason why everyone leaves in the end... and for all she knows, Rose might be the next to go.

Why did Lisa have to things up all the time?

Why?

The mere thought or even vision of Rose packing her things or herself packing her own luggage and moving out is shattering Lisa’s itty-bitty heart. Fine, Lisa couldn’t be bothered about her parents’ departure anymore – the shallowness of them kicking her out because of her uality is the worst thing Lisa has ever seen or experienced. The one person who stood by her is none other than Rose herself but even Rose seems to be losing her patience with her. Rose is her entire life and yes it does sound stupid because no one should ever feel that way about another person, but Lisa knows for sure that it is a fact.

“I… I’m sorry, Chaeyoungie… I’m s-sorry…”

With trembling fingers, Lisa picked up her phone from the side table and started to compose an email.

To: Im Yoona

Yoona-unnie… I don’t think I can do this anymore. Please tell Jisoo that it’s hard. I can’t stay with Rose when she’s always angry… I know she doesn’t want me around. She always drinks because of me and I don’t want that.

Can you find me an apartment?

From: Lisa Manoban

*

Jennie has literally no idea what in the world is happening right now. She was at home in such a deep sleep a few hours ago and now she's at Rose and Lisa's apartment with only one of them around. It doesn't make sense because they come as a package; the only time one of them is alone is when they're in school. Wait, even in school they find some way to be together. The point is, Jennie can’t fathom what has happened or is happening right now. She just saw them the other day but now they seem to be on the verge of separating. A problem that she didn't know about but Jennie didn't want to pry either. 

Rubbing salt into open wounds has been and is still something Jennie's doing to herself, but she wouldn't do it to her friends; no way in hell. No one knows the bitter feeling better than she does. 

“Chaeyoung, you have to talk to me,” Jennie rubbed the younger’s back gently. She wanted to comfort her best friend but it’s so difficult, especially when she has barely any context to fall back on. Everyone knows how tight-lipped Rose is about their relationship issues. “I can’t help you or Lisa if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Rose began to sob harder and louder at the mention of her girlfriend, her face buried into her palms. She could remember everything that happened last night and goodness, her words to Lisa... it's no wonder why Lisa isn't home now, or probably hasn't been for the past few hours. It's even more worrying because it's only 11 in the morning, and Lisa didn't come to wake her