THAT MELANCHOLY EVENING 

word count: 1231 words | pairing: bangup | see author's note

*TW: teacherxstudent; please note that Jongup is 19 in this one shot!

"What are you doing here?" 

Yongguk's hands fell from the door handle, flustered, as he noticed Jongup slumped onto his desk. His question was in vain though, as the younger was asleep with his mouth left ajar, soft snores matching the rhythm of his slow breaths. A soft sigh left Yongguk's mouth as he looked at the soundly asleep other, his unwanted greed of wanting to be with him prevented himself from waking the other up. He sat himself down opposite the younger, guilt pricking into every bit of his conscience.

He reached out to give Jongup a few light taps on the crown of his head, and a soft groan followed in response to Yongguk's disturbance. He watched as the student struggled to open his eyes, his strained expression along with his soft whine tugging at his heartstrings. He was just like a puppy; a puppy that Yongguk had always wanted but could never get. Just like before, Jongup was going to be another 'puppy' he could not get.

A tired smile formed on Jongup's face when he saw Yongguk sitting across from him, and as conflicted as he was, Yongguk could not help but to return the smile. A moment of silence followed as Yongguk looked at the other — he found it amazing how Jongup's gaze never falters like his does, how he was always in control of his emotions and how someone much younger than he was always seemed to be in control. 

"Done staring?"

If he was capable of blushing, there was no doubt his whole face would be a bright red under Jongup's unwavering gaze. Jongup laughed as Yongguk's face turned straight, as if he could tell the other was feeling shy, and he pulled himself up into a proper sitting position. Jongup looked at the elder, his earlier dejection washing away at the sight of Yongguk being embarrassed in front of him. That was until, of course, Yongguk asked him the question he hated so very much.

"Jongup," he could already guess what Yongguk was going to ask from his tone. His gaze hardened, and he made sure his face conveyed his annoyance at where their conversation was heading. He could see though, how determined Yongguk was to get it out of him. 

"What happened this time?"

To say the least, Jongup felt betrayed. It wasn't the first time he had refused to answer, and it wasn't like Yongguk didn't know. Of course Yongguk knew; he was the guidance counsellor. He gets told of the situation even before a student gets sent to the office, but yet, he just had to ask. He just had to bring back all the emotions Jongup had kept suppressed.

Jongup glared at Yongguk whilst standing up, making sure to give the chair a loud kick to show his unspoken annoyance. Striding past the dumbfounded Yongguk, Jongup made his way to the door and for the first time in awhile, he really felt like crying. Maybe it had been too long since he had his last cry, or maybe he just wished that Yongguk would stop separating work from his personal feelings anymore, but he felt like crap as he made his way out of the office.

He could hear Yongguk following him from behind, and that only made him speed up. For once, he wanted to get away from the other and for once, the other was unwilling to let that happen. It took a long chase before Jongup finally stopped, his tear-filled eyes a strained red as he stared at Yongguk. It was where it all started, the place that he had walked to unconsciously, it was the same place where it all started.

There was tension in the air, a dare for Yongguk to take a step forward like he did the last time. Jongup could see the hesitation in him and a soft scoff left his lips unknowingly. He hated himself for putting Yongguk in that situation, but that was exactly what the other did to him too— cornering him. He noticed the dreadful step back that Yongguk took and he gave a sarcastic laugh in return. He should have expected that.

Yongguk felt like a thousand knives were plunged into his gut as he saw the tear roll down Jongup's eyes, despite the smug look plastered on his face. He felt the weight on his shoulders getting heavier as his legs shifted backwards by itself, and god did he wish that he shouldn't have started anything in the first place. His fists were clenched by his sides, nails digging into his palms but the pain couldn't seem to compare to what he was feeling inside.

"Leave."

He did; he left. He left without turning back once and Jongup realised how stupid he was. He realised how stupid he was to believe that that darn thing called 'love' could overcome anything and everything. His legs collapsed under him as Yongguk's figure left his view and for the first time in a long while, he did cry. Crying was an understatement— he was bawling into his own sleeve, heaving and gasping for breath in between sobs. It felt worse this time round, a numbing pain in his chest that did not seem to go away no matter how much he cried and he hated that.

He was stupid. Indeed he was.

--

A melancholy evening was what it was like that day, of course, along with the play of fate. They were seated next to each other when the rain began to fall, and when the air got chillier. Yongguk had brought Jongup to his favourite spot in school, in hopes that it would help the younger feel better after spotting him wandering around after getting kicked out of class. It could have been the rain, or it could have been the silence that fell over them but there was something in the air.

There was something in the air that gave Jongup the courage to reach out for Yongguk's face. There was something about the scent of the rain that led him to press his lips against the surprised elder. There was something about the atmosphere that day that led him to do something crazy. Even when Yongguk pushed him away that day, Jongup did not give up. He was not a minor. He wanted what he wanted, and he knew what Yongguk wanted.

So he pushed for it, and Yongguk eventually gave in to his advances. As the sound of the falling rain encompassed them that day, they kissed. It was the most passionate kiss that the both of them had ever shared with anyone and that kiss led to nothing but trouble. It led Yongguk to a situation that he would have regretted in the future. It led Jongup into nothing but pain when he realised how useless the emotion called 'love' was in a realistic world.

No matter how much they enjoyed being in each other's company even in the future, no matter how much they teased each other jokingly, deep down, they both remember the day Yongguk walked away after realising what he had done. They both remember the pain they brought upon themselves that one melancholy evening. It was remembered as a mistake for one, and a sad memory for the other. It was something that was going to follow them forever.  

Author's note: should i have mentioned Jongup's age from the get-go?