Pleasant smiles in front of stranger. The corner of my mouth ache at the efforts but the facade never leaves. As the two individuals a few steps away from me hold hands in a tight hold, making other people envied their loving union that has last at this date, 25 years. But I know the truth, I know the the dirt below the gold surface. The strong hold of their hands being a cold fight of who holds more rough, who can bring pain to the other more. The whole situation should be awkward but everyone it's googling it with admiration, I must laugh. But my face stays the same, simple smile, no opening in my eyes for the others to see my thoughts. 

The party with strangers makes me dizzy, never a big fan of many people in one place. The faces that you never know if they are real or just a mask. The voices that are too cheerful and loud for my ears, but I stay. Seating with almost no movement, trying to bring my mind to a far away place since my body can't. Trying to imagine that I'm at a comfortable little space where I can hide from everyone. Where I cannot be bothered. 

When my mind has lost the connection to my little white space, I focus on my brothers, the only ones that let me keep my sanity from the mask party of strangers. My older brother Xiumin has opted to act like my parents. Keep the facade and be the entertainment by cracking some jokes with a few drinks at his system. Everyone loves the outgoing, fun Xiumin and as payment he gets the attention he carves so much, which it's not given at the iceberg of our home. After some more alcohol clouding his mind, he stands and dances to one of his favorite songs, swinging his body to the funky sound while his hands move across his face horizontally in peace signs. He screams "this it's the quality of music I'm talking about! Dance with me everyone." People laughed at his clumsy movements that other day would be presentable if it wasn't for the vodka shots he drank. Still some people get up to dance with him as an opportunity to get in his good side but I know he will not remember their faces when the next day comes.

The next one of my brothers, Jongdae, talks lightly with people around him. The calm and graceful self he always plays in front of this type of parties making the appearance again. Smiling while declining guests who ask him to dance as Xiumin it's doing. They offered him alcohol but he rejects again saying he it's against alcohol in his system. Everyone's eyes are full of admiration by his clean thoughts and aura that has many thinking he it's the perfect man alive. Whispers of how great it will be to have him as a husband go around not so discretely. My mind pity them cause I know, behind that face it's a man with cruel humor. How he jokes with the weakness of his friends and foes alike, not caring of retaliation since he never lets anything personal go out in the open for blackmail. Bringing anyone down first, who dares to try make him touch the floor. The calculative attitude of knowing which buttons will hurt the people the most, not physically but mentally. Knowing how to play with the mind of his victims until they crumble. But that doesn't mean he it's not physically fit to break you down, oh no, he can actually destroy you in a fight. If being the captain of the wrestling team of his college says anything. Only actually nice and unable to hurt my brothers, myself and his closest friend for many years that has a quiet personality, Lay. 

Lastly, surrounded by many teens, who I bet he didn't know, our younger brother Kai being the casanova as always. Not even being the party of the 25th year anniversary of our parents could stop him. Children and grandchildren of acquaintances of our parents being the victims of his winks and smirks. The seductive voice he always uses as a trap to all those poor souls. But I admire that of him. Not himself being a player but the fact that he didn't behave as someone he was not. His attitude could be wrong and frown upon but he didn't care. Kai ignored those stares and focus in the ones who had hearts in their eyes. The ones that wanted to give love to him even if it was just for a day. No matter what happened, he held his face high. Talking to the granddaughter of one of my grandmother's friends, brushing his fingers against her cheek, the inevitable blush in her face and I knew he had his victim for the night. I could only hope in my mind, he got himself together before karma made him pay all those broken hearts. 

Unable to see how Kai whispered to the young girl's ear, I focus on my plate. The food was cold for sure so I looked at my drink but was empty already. With an excuse to stand up and bring my out of the torture, I made my way to get ice tea. I gave my order and while the bartender gave me the drink a paper was passed to my hands. I looked to the small paper that had numbers on it with a 'call me ;) '. Making sure he saw my eyes roll at his miserable paper, I turn around to take my seat at the now empty table. My family enjoying the party or faking, either way I could only space out wishing I was out of there already. 

"Why are you alone here, Junmyeon?" Said a calm voice I knew too well. 

"Just being myself, Jongdae, nothing new",  I bring the glass to my lips as a form to cut the conversation. But my older brother, as well knows me too well.

"Hold on a little bit more, the party it's almost over. If not, we will make a excuse for you to leave", he gives me a genuine small smile while patting my back. 

"Thank you Jongdae... I want to leave the soonest possible" my voice it's barely a whisper but Jongdae still it's able to hear.

"I know, I know. I'm so embarrassed by the little show Xiumin it's giving to this people. No doubt this will cause gossip for weeks. Can't he behave his grown ? He it's 22 already!" He tells me obviously annoyed.

It makes me laugh cause even if I do feel embarrassed, it's a common occurrence to see Xiumin drunk. Behaving like our father when he it's not in public, so there it's really no valid scolding from our parents to his behavior. 

"I'm embarrassed too but what do you expect? He it's getting the attention he wants, he seems happy".

"Junmyeon, we both know tomorrow he will still be carving even more attention since this doesn't satisfy him, it only feeds him a little to not starve" Jongdae plays with his fingers as if they were drums on his tights and my eyes focus on them cause he got no rhythm. 

"Why are you here with me though? I'm fine being alone." 

Jongdae laughs and looks at me, "of course I know you are fine alone but I'm too tired of this people. Xiumin it's annoying me and I feel I'm going to explode to rudeness if someone ask me to have a shot of vodka again. Then our little brother, can't control his teenage hormones. Just look at that! Didn't he had a girlfriend?", he points to the right discretely below the table.

At the direction, Kai and the girl are too close, already invading each other's personal space. Moving his lips to her ear to form a whisper then turning his face to bring his ear to , as the turn happens, lips centimeters away from touching in a sensual way that brings red color to her cheeks. A trap of seduction obviously happening before her eyes but she still unable to run away from the sweet honey being put in front of her. 

"She it's already in the trap. And which one of all Kai's partners are you talking about?" I say looking back at my older brother.

"Stop the indifference Junmyeon. You should scold him, he only listens to you. He it's only a 17 year old brat. His mind should be focus in studying instead of body fluids." 

Moving my hands to cover my face, "you so nasty Jongdae! Just say or something nicer. And Kai doesn't listen to me."

A high pitch laugh comes from Jongdae, "I was going to say you're such a prude but you actually fine with me saying , so that's not it", the smiling face disappears and his mouth forms a thin line, "In a more serious note, I'm serious about you talking to Kai. He listens to you every time."

"Whatever you want to call me, I give zero s. I just don't want to listen to details of that should be kept inside the bedroom. Why don't YOU talk to him? You're older."

"Sure, sure, if you say so, Junmyeon. I don't talk to Kai about this cause then we would get in a fight. He will surely answer rudely to me and I will not let that brat disrespect me. He never answers rudely to you. Recently, he finally turn in his English essay after you told him to do it, even though mother had scold him for 3 weeks to do it. So don't tell me he doesn't listen to you cause I have many proof to give you" Jongdae says indignantly.

I sighed loudly for him to listen, "you guys fight cause you are too commanding and he it's too prideful to bend down even if he knows you stronger and correct. He it's at the age of rebellion and he doesn't answers rudely to me cause he knows I can't tolerate that , I will ignore his until he apologizes. Plus, his business are not mine. It's his life and he knows he is making all those awful actions, he it's not a dumb person." 

"Ha! I remembered that time you ignore him for a month after he told you to 'shut your as mouth'. He had to kneel for your forgiveness, such a satisfying view if you ask me. I don't usually worry about other people's business but he it's my little brother and this is it. We are in the 25th marriage anniversary from our parents but he still shamelessly flirting. Xiumin and Kai should learn to control themselves. This people shouldn't know they have this side on them."

"Then, should they put a mask and act with a total different personality that it's not them?" I say while glaring at Jongdae.

"Yes, there it's no need for acquiescences of our parents to know there it's dirt below the carpet. And Junmyeon, we both know Xiumin it's not like that. That's his mask. His true self it's a fragile man with affection necessity. Kai it's a split personality bastard. A puppy next to you and a player to the rest of the world. So do not judge me as the only one wearing the mask. You own a mask too. I know you're done with this party but you still keep your silent mask on. If you didn't wear one, then why you still here?"

"I never say I wasn't wearing a mask, Jongdae. But I would say to let them be, they not going to listen so why waste words. They will learn with time and by falling in their mistakes. That's how life it's."

While patting my head, "Pff you are just lazy, tiniest one of the family."

I slap his hand away, "don't touch me ."

Jongdae stands up, "time to make your escape, brother." He walks to our parents and briefly exchange words. His face contort into a frown as he makes his way back to me. 

"I'm sorry Junmyeon, they say you MUST stay...", before I can mutter a word, Jongdae short laugh comes out, "kidding bro, we can leave. I will drive you."

My older brother it's smart but I can see his intentions from far away, "YOU USED ME!", while I grab his arm harshly. 

"Ups you got me, but either way we both free", he shrugged. 

Since it's true and this it's my escape, I stand in record time and make my way to the exit with Jongdae behind my traits.

Once we are in the car, he screams in joy and starts the car at a fast velocity.

My hands immediately get a hold of the safety belt, "hey you dumb one, you know the word police? They going to be getting you right now."

Decreasing the velocity, he follows the limit sign, while turning the music loud. Tapping his fingers again in the steering wheel, he mouths the song mutely. Rock blasting making me bob my head to the rhythm. I start singing loudly cause rock it's my home, way before it was Jongdae's favorite. He used to be a gangster type of teen, listening to rap and hanging out with the wrong crew. The surprising thing was that even with bad company around him, he still did great in his classes. His friends that were fighters admired him for that. Until my brother got in wrestling and the coach forbidden him from having fights and getting in trouble overall. His bad crew got away from him cause he was now part of what they considered the "popular jock"  after he was voted captain. I remembered all this happening before my eyes since I'm a year younger but my parents do not know the fighting history of my older brother. He manage to never get the news of his fights to my parents ears and the teaches believe him more since he was a good quiet student in their classrooms. Damn! Acting as a good person came handy. 

Suddenly we turn to a street that went to the central area of our city. I look at him confused before he adds, "A bartender call me from Luhan's number to come and pick him up." 

I nodded since Luhan was his other friend. The crazy one who I had no idea how he was friends with my older brother and Lay as their personalities were REALLY different. 

We arrived to a three floor building with big letters spelling 'Fluorescent' between the first floor and second floor. Jongdae tells me to wait for him by the car to open the door when he comes out with the heavy body of Luhan. So I do that, feeling uncomfortable to be around those parts of the city with people that were too wild for me. 

As I wait, I see a couple kissing by the corner of the building, or should I say eating each other's mouths. Quickly looking away, I prefer to see the sky. The stars are always pretty but I love the moon and today the moon was closer than usual. Suddenly, I feel a presence close but only look when a hand touches my shoulder. A tall guy with styled blonde/silver hair and angry bird eyebrows is looking at me. His face looks angry so I wonder if I did something to offend him even though this is my first time seeing him. 

A deep voice is produced from the guy, "hello there, why are you by yourself? This is a bad part of the city and you don't look like someone who should be here." 

"Oh really? Why?"

The guy snorts, "you're wearing a stripes sweater with a button up below, not something that fits someone who goes to night clubs."

"Oh okay, I'm leaving already though." I say while giving a small smile, time to leave buddy.

"My name it's Kris" the guy introduces himself while extending a hand to me. Ugh, just when I thought I had cut the conversation... but well I'm not a rude person. 

"I'm Junmyeon. The guy who it's leaving cause he doesn't fit the club's dressing code. Hey, I never knew a night club had that as if it was a school or jail!"

The guy looks at me stoically. I internally laugh cause I made him speechless, patting my shoulder mentally. 

"I think you misunderstood, I only wanted to keep you company since someone as attractive as you bring attention to themselves and here it's no good, almost all of this people are bad. You look like a person who would be better finding a partner in a library."

"Oh thank you for your concern but I'm just waiting for my older brother to come with his drunk friend."

"So your older brother and you came for someone! That's why!" He laughs showing his gums and I stand there looking at his teeth and gums cause that view looks cute to me. "So who it's your brother? I may know him."

"Mm he doesn't come to this places, so the probability of you knowing him it's low." I say while checking if my older brother it's almost back. 

"Hey!" The guy screams offended, "I go to college in the afternoons during the week"

I laughed since it's funny to me, "alright sorry about that, my older brother name is Jongdae."

Kris smiles tightly and then I spot my older brother coming out of the doors from the corner of my eyes. I turn around to look at the Kris, "he is here!" I yell but there is nobody there anymore. 

Confused, I searched for the new acquaintance I had made but I couldn't find anyone. 

"Junmyeon open the door dammit!" Jongdae screamed dragging heavily the almost out Luhan. 

Following the orders, my mind thinks of the gum rich smile and his simple words, I conclude that I hope I see him again.