At the restaurant, Sana and Dahyun sat apart from each other. Which was unusual, considering how they would always sit beside each other when given the chance. But at this given time and place, they didn't interact with one another. They couldn't. For one was irritated while the other was confused.

Now, we are back in TWICE's dorm. 

~~~

"Sana, is something wrong?" Mina approached Sana, who was sitting on the couch by herself, stuffing her face with popcorn but staring at a blank TV screen.

"Hm? What makes you say that?" Sana asked, her eyes still fixated on the TV.

Mina sighed, "You make it obvious. I know it's got to have something to do with Dahyun."

Sana groaned loudly before turning to Mina and complaining, "Dahyun still didn't kiss me after the fansign event! We were in the lounge, just the two of us! With no one to see! But she didn't kiss me and even said 'I just can't kiss you' as an excuse!"

Sana groaned again, this time to the ceiling before resuming stuffing with popcorn. Mina sat down beside her.

"What did I tell you, Sana-unnie?"

Sana frowned. This was starting to feel like a mother-daughter talk, with the older one acting as the daughter. But she wouldn't deny that Mina was older in how mature and wise her mind was.

"You can't just force her to kiss you, Sana," Mina said, causing Sana to groan for the third time, "Especially for someone like Dahyun, kissing's just weird. I hope you understand."

Sana stayed quiet.

"By the way," Mina resumed, "why are you so bent on getting Dahyun to kiss you?"

"She just never does. I kiss her all the time, and I'd like it to be reciprocated for once," Sana replied.

"You'd like it to be reciprocated? Do you mean the kiss or the meaning behind it?" Mina asked.

Sana couldn't respond. She could only ponder at the question. The meaning behind each kiss.

Again, Mina's eyes were able to see right through Sana and her intentions. God help Sana, for Mina was too cunning and clever for her.

"There has got to be a reason why you kiss and hug Dahyun all the time," Mina said, "Or do you not even know that yourself?"

No, she did. She knew she was in love with Dahyun. She had been in love with her for a long while now.

But it hurt to love Dahyun; because there was no way Dahyun would love her back in the way that Sana loved her. Dahyun only viewed Sana as a sister at most, which Sana tried to learn to accept. But she never could. The most that she could do was try to hide her feelings from both Dahyun and herself. So she played that flirtatious Sana that everyone was familiar with to hide it. Sana flirted all the time, so it was only the perfect cover-up. It was nice too, because she was able to be close with Dahyun. But that was never enough for Sana.

And so that explains why Sana craves for a kiss from Dahyun. She wants something back. And a kiss from Dahyun would tell her that at least something was reciprocated, even if that something couldn't amount to love.

"I kiss and hug her all the time because I want attention," Sana lied, "And I was upset she didn't kiss me because I hate that I'm the only one doing the kissing. So yeah, I hate that the kisses are never returned."

Mina nodded, "Okay, just don't lie to yourself."

Sana watched as Mina stood and walked into her room. She sighed to herself, then turned to face the blank TV screen. She could see her reflection in it. It was the reflection of a broken girl. She then turned her eyes away from the screen, unable to look at her broken self for much longer. She returned to eating the popcorn. Somehow, the popcorn didn't taste as good as it did before she had talked to Mina. It tasted saltier than earlier and felt soggy on her tongue. Sana looked down at the bowl of popcorn in confusion. Oh. It must be from the tears that rolled down Sana's cheeks and into the bowl.

Sana loves Dahyun.

She's loved Dahyun.

It was shortly after their release of "CHEER UP" that Sana first felt something for Dahyun. It was the first instance in which she fell so hard for Dahyun. It was the Daejun Fansign Event. Dahyun and Sana, beforehand, had already been close with each other, specifically regarding physical contact. Sana had already kissed Dahyun's cheeks multiple times before, and they had their intimate moments where they would embrace each other. But there was no hidden meaning or feeling behind these actions; it was just Sana giving some TLC to her beloved dongsaeng. But what happened at the Daejun Event changed all of that.

~~~

Sana stood beside Dahyun, watching her hands fiddle with a toy on the table. Dahyun then became bored of it, and directed her attention to Sana. She took a step forward, closing in the space between them so that their shoulders touched.

"What's up?" Dahyun asked. She then put her fist up between them, hoping for a fist bump.

"Ahh~, nothing really," Sana replied. But she didn't return Dahyun's fist bump.

So Dahyun shook her fist a little, in hopes that Sana would respond. Instead of returning the fist bump, Sana held her hand up before Dahyun's, palm open, teasing her a little. Dahyun sighed before looking up at her with eyes that asked "Are you being serious right now?" Sana only smiled back cheekily.

"A fist bump?" Sana asked.

"Or something," Dahyun responded.

So Dahyun decided to open her fist, in hopes for a high five instead.

Sana smirked before saying, "Hm~, no."

"Ahhh," Dahyun groaned as she brought her hand up to squeeze Sana's face. But instead, she gently cupped her face. They locked eyes, and began to laugh.

They laughed for a few seconds, with eyes still locked on each other. Then Sana noticed that Dahyun broke eye contact to look at her lips. ...Or chin, I guess. Dahyun used her thumb to the front of Sana's chin; there must have been something there that Dahyun noticed and decided to try to wipe off. She focused on Sana's chin, gently. Meanwhile, Sana only stood there and stared. The slow change in expression from smiling to serious, Sana noted. became slightly parted, as she was seemingly quite focused on her task. Sana stared at Dahyun's face, and the focused expression plastered on it. And she loved what she saw. To others, something like this may have only been a small moment, not something to think twice about. But to Sana, it meant a lot. Dahyun had that look in her eyes which was focused, but also tender. It was a look that Sana wanted to see all the time from then on. It was the caring side of Dahyun that she was observing. Although Dahyun had cared for her a lot in the past, this was the first time Sana had seen that look on her face. And she fell for it.

Dahyun used her thumb and index finger to pick something off Sana's chin. She looked at it for a moment before flicking it away. Then she mouthed to herself "Ok". The way her parted lips slowly mouthed the word, Sana noted. She took her gaze off of Dahyun's lips to her eyes, only to notice that Dahyun was now looking up at her. That intense, yet tender gaze was now staring right through her. But then Sana watched as her intense gaze softened as she smiled. That smile; it showed through her eyes. Then, Dahyun laughed a little. She seemed embarrassed to have caught Sana staring. Sana, too, was a little embarrassed. And so, this was the first time Sana became embarrassed in front of Dahyun. She only smirked back at Dahyun to hide it.

"What's with that?" Dahyun said between her laughs as she lightly nudged Sana's shoulder.

"Nothing~," Sana responded, knowing full well that it wasn't 'nothing'.

Ah, what was this pleasant feeling?

Sana hopped lightly on her feet, her heart jittering. She bounced to the beat of the song playing in the background, and asked Dahyun, "You know this part?"

Dahyun chuckled. "Of course I do," she said as she began to dance to the song.

Sana laughed before dancing along with her.

This was what she wanted. Sana didn't realize how much she needed somebody until Dahyun came along. She was always there for her, taking care of her as though she were the older one. And yet, she had her moments where she would play her part as the younger one. She was cute and playful. And she was TWICE's entertainer, as she knew how to make anyone adore her. In this moment, Sana was able to see both of Dahyun's sides: the caring side and the fun side. And, Sana loved both sides of her. Suddenly, after observing Dahyun's gaze, Sana felt a difference in the way that she saw her. And it was a feeling that caused her heart to jump.

~~~

Sana loves Dahyun.

She's loved Dahyun.

But damn, if only she didn't.

"Sana-unnie?!"

Sana looked up at the sound of that all too familiar voice. When she saw her, her guess was confirmed. Then suddenly, the object of her thoughts was standing over her, holding her face with both of her hands and caressing her cheekbones with her thumbs.

"What's wrong, Sana-unnie?" Dahyun asked, her voice full of worry.

But Sana didn't respond. She only stared at Dahyun. Although tears were coming out her eyes, her face was blank. It was like her mind was lost in thought. Which it very much was.

What occupied her mind in that moment was, simply, Dahyun. There she was, standing over her with her hands on Sana's cheeks. Sana took note of everything about Dahyun in this moment. The point of her nose, the density of her cheeks, the texture of her hair. The feeling of her hands, and the soft her thumbs made on Sana's cheeks. The slight part of her lips, which revealed her teeth, including that one crooked yet cute tooth. The intense look in her eyes, that showed genuine care and worry. Sana observed everything. And she fell in love with her all over again.

"Is it because I didn't kiss you earlier? I didn't know you'd get so upset about that," Dahyun said quietly.

Sana shook her head, then placed both her hands on Dahyun's cheeks and smiled, "It's much more complicated than that, Dahyunnie."

Dahyun dropped her hands from Sana's cheeks. She broke eye contact with Sana and asked, "But does it have to do with me?"

Sana forced Dahyun to face her, "What could you do to make me so upset at you? Absolutely nothing."

"That's not true," Dahyun retorted, "I've hurt you before. Just because things are different now doesn't mean that I couldn't ever hurt you again."

Sana forced another smile. "You're too harsh on yourself."

"Sana-unnie, just tell me why you were crying."

"These are tears of happiness. I thought of you and was filled with an overwhelming amount of happiness," Sana lied.

But Dahyun didn't buy it. "You're lying. You just don't wanna tell me the truth."

"You're calling me a liar?"

"Yes, because you like to do that, Sana," Dahyun said straight-out, even dropping the honorifics, "You lie because you either don't wanna hurt people or you don't want them to think that you're hurt."

"I won't tell you," Sana whispered.

"Please, tell me," Dahyun pressed on.

She shook her head.

"Tell me," Dahyun commanded again.

Sana stayed quiet, contemplating for a moment. She knew if she didn't respond, Dahyun would only continue to ask for an answer. So she opened and said, "I'm in love with someone."

Dahyun froze. Of all the things she could have said, she wasn't expecting that to come out of .

More tears streamed down her cheeks, causing Dahyun to bring her hands back up to Sana's face. She wiped at the tears, which came in a seemingly endless fall. Sana managed to continue, "And I know that they don't love me back. So that's why I was crying to myself."

Dahyun didn't respond. She couldn't respond. Sana's in love with someone. And she loves him so much that the fact that he doesn't love her back is so heartbreaking. It's so heartbreaking that she would sit here on this couch, alone and crying to herself. It's so heartbreaking that she couldn't even tell Dahyun the truth at first.

So many questions ran through Dahyun's head. Who is he? Do I know him? How long have you loved him? Why are you certain he doesn't love you back? Does he know?

How much do you love him?

But none of these questions she could bring herself to ask. So, instead, she looked down and said, "I'm sorry."

Sana laughed through her tears, "What are you sorry for?"

Dahyun looked back up at Sana's face, meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry I let you fall."

Her words caught the both of them by surprise. It was unclear to the both of them exactly what she meant by that. Sana wondered whether or not Dahyun knew that the person she fell for was herself. And if she didn't know and assumed that it was someone else, what did she mean when she said she had let her fall? Dahyun, on the other hand, was also contemplating on her words. Did she feel partly responsible for the predicament Sana was in? Why should she feel partly responsible when she had nothing to do with Sana's tears? But, it was like, whenever Sana was hurt, Dahyun blamed herself. Because that meant that she wasn't able to protect her. Even though there was no way you could keep someone from falling in love, Dahyun blamed herself for not doing so with Sana.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]

If you haven't already, you guys should look up "Saida Daejun" on YouTube. It's the first video that shows up, and the scene that I described starts at 2:19. (Keep an eye on Sana's face as she stares at Dahyun, ugh that's my )