Jungkook did get back to Korea. At the airport, he saw his parents, alongside with Bang PD, and thankfully no fans. Jungkook let his mother cry into his shoulders, his father hug him, and his brother pat him on the back. Bang PD looked at Jungkook intently with a stare that clearly stated that “we need a talk later”.

“You go back first, Jungkook-ah, you have to rest. I have to go to the counters, I believe.” Bang PD told Jungkook, who was still tangled in a mass of limbs.

“Why?” Jungkook found out that he had been asking this question a lot after the accident, to everyone, and to himself. And to the other six members, even if they couldn’t hear him.

“I need to take back… yeah, that.”

And Jungkook understood. He quickly nodded, and was dragged away by his family, eager to ask him all about the accident. Jungkook let them manoeuvre him away, away from the airport, away from the cold bloated faces of s.

Jungkook went back to Busan directly, staying there for one week straight. Every day he received text messages from Bang PD and sometimes, manager Sejin. He felt contented with his family, but he was never happy. Not when he felt like he was the only person left on this world.

Jimin often accompanied him back to their hometown, Busan. They took the same train, and they sat next to each other. The train back to their shared hometown didn’t take long, but Jimin would always fall asleep, head resting on Jungkook’s shoulder, sort and fluffy hair tickling him a bit. He enjoyed the warmth, enjoyed the company of Jimin.

When they were in Busan, they often went to a beach to hang out. It was usually the fourth afternoon they spent there, one day before they have to go back to Seoul again. They would sat side by side on the yellow sands, away from the crowd, and just looked at the sea, chitchatting about small nothings. It was that moment when Jungkook felt himself closest to Jimin. At the dorm, the elder was always messing around with Taehyung, and they didn’t actually take enough time to talk heart to heart. They sat there until the sun sets, the golden rays of the sun dying the calm blue sea a beautiful shade of gold. Then they would go back to their respective homes and pack, ready to go back to Seoul the next day.

Now, Jungkook visited that beach alone. He sat down on the sand at the usual place, away from the crowd. The sea looked calm, a total opposite with Jungkook’s experience out there. He had always liked the sea, and one accident wasn’t going to change that, he decided. He remembered Yoongi’s words on the deck that afternoon. He said that idol life is like a voyage on the sea, sometimes smooth sailing, sometimes rough. Now he thought that life itself is like a voyage on the sea as well. Now, even though his sea looked calm, a tsunami was coming.

Once he came back from Busan, Bang PD called him directly to his office.

“Jungkook-ah, is it okay for you to attend their funeral tomorrow?”

Jungkook sighed. The inevitable had finally come.

“Yes, I will.”

“Okay, I will release a statement soon, and this will be a private funeral. No reporters, no fans, just family members and close friends. Okay?”

“Okay.”

In Jungkook’s heart, he was screaming for rejection however. No, he didn’t want to attend a funeral. He didn’t want to attend their funeral. He understood that they were dead, but he just couldn’t bear to see his beloved members, six feet underneath, gone from the world forever. He looked calm, but his heart was hurting, hurting so much that he wanted to stab himself with a knife so that it would all end.

End? There was no ending. He understood that his hyungs won’t want him to follow them soon, so he had to live for them. But how do he live when they’re not here anymore?

Manager Sejin sent him back to their dorm, no, his dorm. Before he got off the van, Sejin turned back and gave him a sad smile.

“Jungkook-ah, I’m sorry.”

Jungkook just nodded without any expression, and entered their dorm. He thought he could handle entering the dorm alone, like any other days he came back late after hanging out with Yugyeom or after a late night practice. s would be inside their respective rooms, sleeping, or working on their laptops, in Namoon’s or Yoongi’s case. Seokjin would sit on the sofa, dozing off while patiently waiting for his return, and jolting awake when he opened the door. He would heat up some leftover food for him and sat with him while he ate, despite being only half awake. After cleaning up the dishes, Seokjin would ruffle his hair with affection, and walked back to his room, finally being able to sleep on his bed.

Jungkook honestly thought he could handle entering the dorm alone.

But he couldn’t.

Once he unlocked the door, the scent of familiarity almost overpowered him. Everything was left untouched, everything in their place, as if they were on a vacation without him. It smelt of Namjoon’s cologne, Taehyung’s favourite perfume, and fabric softener that smelt dangerously close to Seokjin. The living room was cold and empty. The rooms were cold and empty. Seokjin was not sleeping on the sofa. None of the members were in their respective rooms. And it was silent. There was no random humming of new comeback songs, no soft tapping of feet on the floor, and no high-pitched shrieking of happiness that could be heard when the sunshine line were playing around. He liked to think that they were just at a late night practice, but if they were, he won’t be here. He would be still at the practice room, sweating a lot, and Hoseok would still be directing their choreography. He liked dancing, he won’t ever quit practice earlier than s.

Which could only indicate that he was indeed, all alone now.

Suddenly, Jungkook felt rage in his heart. He was not angry at s, but he was angry with the surreal peace in the dorm, and himself, generally. Why is everything still so normal when in fact his entire life had been flipped upside down? Abruptly, he rushed into Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s shared room. The floor felt cold to his touch. There was no light. Jungkook couldn’t control himself anymore. He swept all their belongings onto the floor, probably breaking a few things. Then he went to Namjoon and Taehyung’s room and did the same. Namjoon’s Ryan dolls, all scattered across the floor, looked incredibly satisfying at the moment. He knew some of the members didn’t like the others touching their stuff, but it won’t matter already, they’re dead.

They’re dead! Jungkook started to scream hysterically, in anger, in sadness, and in pain. Why is fate so cruel and unfair? Why did fate take away six so amazing human beings at once? He was probably scaring his neighbours, but he didn’t care.

He wanted to keep wrecking the dorm, but a sharp pain on his feet stopped him. He looked down tentatively, and saw shattered glass shards, some of which penetrated his feet. He picked up the source of the glass carefully, a brown rectangualar shaped item, and turned it over.

It was revealed to be a framed picture of all seven of them, posing playfully in front of the camera, in front of a serene sea. When did they took it? During the shooting of I Need U? Shooting for the Prologue? Or a vacation to his own hometown with everyone? He couldn’t remember. Jungkook caressed the member’s faces on the photo gently, staring at their happy smiles. Without him noticing, he cut his finger on the frame too. Once again, the sharp pain dragged him back to reality.

He shouldn’t have trashed their room. He shouldn’t have ruined the only memories of them he would have after the accident. He knew that they won’t like it.

Suddenly feeling drained, Jungkook knelt down with a thud on the floor, hands still holding the already broken frame. He felt so weak, so unwanted. Why did his brothers, his brothers who had loved him so much, left him alone in this cruel world? Why was he all alone? Where are they?

Looking at the photo again, all the members smiling back at him, Jungkook threw his head backwards and howled in pain and agony. Tears streamed non-stop down his face, all the bottled up emotion from the past three weeks releasing. He screamed and wailed, not caring about anything.

At half past three in the morning, manager Sejin barged into the room and gently ushered him out of the room. He settled him on the sofa and made him a cup of hot tea. Then, he sat on the sofa opposite to Jungkook, the place Namjoon used to sit when there was a group meeting in the dorm. Jungkook clutched on the cup tightly, steam scorching his face, and probably scalping his already wounded fingers, but he felt nothing. Sejin watched him drank the tea, cleaned the wounds on his feet and his finger, bandaging it up nicely. Finally, he stood up and sighed.

“Jungkook-ah, I’m real-“

“Stop saying sorry to me! It wasn’t only me who had lost them!”

“But stil-“

“Get out”

“Jungk-“

“GET OUT!”

Jungkook’s hands were trembling so much, some of the tea had spilled out. Having calmed down enough, he put the tea down on the table. Sejin gave him one last sympathetic look and walked out of the dorm.

The rest of the night, Jungkook tried putting the two rooms back to how it was supposed to look like. He did broke a few things, but most of the things were unharmed. At 7 in the morning, Sejin stepped into the dorm again, only to find everything neat and organized, and Jungkook passed out on the sofa.

--------------------

The funeral was silent and private. Six coffins were arranged in front of the seats fully filled with people. The six members’ family all came. Bang PD, the manager, the choreographers, and the head stylist all came. Even some idols came. Jungkook sat in the first row, Taemin on his right, eyes red rimmed, and Sandeul on his left, dabbing his eyes with a tissue.

Bang PD gave his eulogy, praising the six members. Some of the member’s family also gave eulogies too, like Hoseok’s sister, who had to be helped to get off the small stage because she collapsed from crying too much during her eulogy. Or Yoongi’s father, who spoke calmly, but his eyes were filled with exhaustion, so much exhaustion that Jungkook thought he would faint anytime.

They didn’t ask Jungkook to say his eulogy, though, but he knew he was the "star" of the funaral. Throughout the whole ceremony, people kept giving him sympathetic glances. Jungkook lowered his head, not wanting to meet any of the glances, not wanting to break down right there. Being the only member of BTS who had survived the accident, he was bound to become the centre of the attention. Before that, he had always loved attention, but now he wanted nothing more than to disappear into thin air, to disappear from the world, preferably to meet his beloved brothers.

 After the funeral, a few taps on Jungkook’s new phone had him informed that Bighit had released a statement, confirming six of the BTS members dead, and only him alive. The whole fandom was in a state of mourning at the moment, and Bighit had released a 3-minute tribute video they had hastily but delicately put together. It consisted of the past four years the seven spent together, them having fun and sharing their happiness, them being emotional and crying together. A black and white filter had been put over the whole video, making the video even sadder. Young Forever playing as the background music didn’t help either.

Jungkook watched the video over and over again in his room, alone. The first few times he thought he was just watching a vintage movie, without any emotion. On the fifth watch, Taehyung's large boxy smile that was somehow too close to the camera set him off. He cried and cried, until there was no more tears, and his face was blotchy, nose runny, head heavy, eyes dry and itchy. He was numb, all over.

Yet his heart didn't stop hurting.

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Are you crying yet? Probably no? This is one of the most angsty chapters in the whole story. More to come soon-

I'm quite busy with school and my finals are in mid-November, but I'll try to update as much as possible.

I hope you guys like this chapter, thank you so much for reading and commenting! 

171010 (aka the 1st anniversary of the legendary WINGS era)