8. acht

It was awkward.

Sehun tried to maintain a good distance from the girl because he was afraid she might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he carefully stole a glance at the girl, to make sure if she was already asleep, but he was caught looking at her twice. And they ended up laughing when their eyes met for the third time.

“Thank you, Sehun.” Haneul suddenly said when the laughter died down, eyes plastered on the ceiling.

“What for?”

“Everything.”

Sehun turned to the side and scooted closer, closing the gap between them. The man pulled her to face him. “You don’t need to thank me, I didn’t even do anything for you.” He reached her hair and gently ruffling it. “Are you feeling better now?”

“I really don’t know how but I feel better that you’re here now.”

“Tsk. You’re not doing that or I won’t stop falling for you.” The girl just chuckled lightly. “Wanna talk about it?” The man asked carefully.

“Would you be okay?” She whispered, sincerely worried that Sehun might feel uncomfortable.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Sehun pinched her nose affectionately.

Haneul took a deep breath and sighed, “It’s Jongin.”

“Jongin. Your boyfriend?”

She shook her head. “I don’t even know if I could call him my boyfriend.” Her eyes turned sad at that. When Sehun kept silent, she continued. “He confessed, but I couldn’t give him an answer because we’re engaged, Sehun.” Sehun couldn’t hide his face. It literally went hard at her words. “I’m really sorry.” She put her hand on top of his which was gently caressing her cheek. “I didn’t know you back then, and although I know that my parents want the best for me, it was hard when suddenly I had to be engaged to someone that I don’t know.”

“But you said you’re going to give it a try.” The hint of disappointment was obvious in his voice.

“Yes, I did. I gave it a try. I went to Birmingham, you remember? But then we were separated, Sehun. You weren’t here, and somehow, Jongin was always here. I’m really sorry but I couldn’t help it.”

Sehun smiled bitterly. “Do you know how painful it is to hear it from you?” He said, trying to hide the pain in his hoarse voice.

Haneul frowned. “I’m sorry.” And she truly meant it. Haneul really felt the hurt, seeing the man who had been nothing but sweet and caring towards her, smiling with an obvious pain flashing on his eyes. But the man kept smiling and shook his head, motioning her to continue, but the girl started to tear up.

“Hey, baby. Why are you crying?”

She only shook her head again, swallowing the lump on before she continued. “And he found out about us through a newspaper. He was angry. It’s the first time I saw him like that.” Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I don’t think he would ever want to see me again.”

Sehun couldn’t help but feel bad for her. It was complicated. He had to feel the broken heart because the girl he loved obviously loved someone else, but at the same time his heart was aching because that girl was hurt. Still, he could only smile and be strong, for her, for himself. “Go see him when you’re ready. It’s yours and his problem. You need to solve it.” He caressed her hair. “Come see him when he calmed down. I’m sure you guys can talk it out.” Sehun wiped the tears that suddenly ran down her cheek, and he chuckled. “You know, you’re actually really ugly when you’re crying.” He made a face, imitating her crying face.

The girl laughed while punching his shoulder, “Annoying.” and Sehun kept imitating her.

“You know, you really deserve someone better than me, Sehun.” She said, looking straight into his dark orbs. “There’s a lot of better girl outside there, and I’m sure they could make you happy.”

“Nah, I’m okay.” Sehun said cockily, again, earning a laugh from the girl.

Sehun didn’t know how it happened, but hearing the sound of laughter emitted from the girl in front of him, he felt a stream of happiness and broken heart at the same time. He was sad because the girl in front of him literally talking about someone else she loved. But at the same time he felt warm, he felt happy because that smile. He was the one making her smile like that again.

“Sehun… you know, I lied to you. But why were you still here, helping me?” She suddenly asked, as if she knew what was there inside his mind.

He took a deep breath and smiled. His hand ran through her hand and fixed her fringes. “The thing is… if it was the old me, I think I would already shout at you. If it was the old me, I would do things with every mean I have, to separate you with that man even though I know you wouldn’t like it.

“But things changed, Sweetheart.

“And it’s because of you.”

Sehun stopped, taking a deep breath. “Because I love you.” Sehun said firmly, with no doubt. “I don’t want someone whom I deserve, Haneul. I want to be with someone I truly love.”

“I never said it to you before, because I’m afraid you would feel uncomfortable. But now I said it because I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that no matter how, I’m going to wait for you here.”

There’s literally no word could describe how Haneul felt at that moment. Haneul’s eyes were already b with tears. She was touched. She really didn’t deserve him with his kindness because the only thing she did was hurting him. “But it hasn’t been long since we know each other, how do you love me?”

Sehun shook his head lightly, “I never knew either. It just happened.” He smiled endearingly.

“All I ever did was just hurting you, Sehun.” Haneul whispered with a heavy weight in her tone. She sounded really sad, Sehun could feel it.

“Sweetheart, I believe that love is a thing that could be learned.” He still her cheek with his thumb. “You can always learn to love, Haneul. If hurting me was all that it takes for you to learn to love me, then I won’t mind at all.”

Haneul just suddenly came closer to him and hugged him she didn’t want to hear anything anymore. The man she was hugging was too sweet to be real. He was too kind it really hurt her. She felt awful because she had been hurting this kind of angel. The girl could feel him slowly drawing circle on her back, while his other hand still gently caressing her head. He let Haneul cried and embraced her with all his might. She cried and let everything out of her burdened heart. It was overwhelming, to feel heartbreak, but at the same time having someone else trying to mend the broken.

That night, Haneul fell asleep with the rhythm of steady and gentle pats on her back, while being spooned on a warmest and most protecting hug.

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