10. zehn

It was another Friday of spending time alone at home since Minseok was really concerned of him. The older got him another day off, asking Jongin to rest and come back next week with a better feeling. Well, he actually threaten him because he’s been messing up the work. Jongin decided not to go out as he really wanted to only mop around the house doing nothing. He screened all the TV channel which only contain news, sometimes he found stupid drama, another time when he was lucky, he found a channel airing some good movies.

Jongin was sitting at the balcony, on his fifth cigarette when he heard his door clicked open. He heard some rustles of plastic bags some seconds before the door to the balcony being pulled wide open.

“You’re here.”

“Done with the work?” He asked, looking into the girl’s eyes before she nodded and leaned down, placing a peck on his fluffy hair.

“Yes.” Ji Hyun sat on the hand-rest beside him. “I told you not to smoke, though.” She frowned.

“How’s work?” Jongin asked as he put his cigarette down on the ashtray. He knew very well how the girl in front of him would throw all the cigarettes if he didn’t stop. So he did, before she took and threw them all into the trashcan.

“Do you remember my best friend that I told you about before? I’m still trying to finish her wedding project. The wedding is around the corner. I just met her some days ago, that time when you picked me up, because Mrs. Kwon was late for the meeting so she asked me to assist them.”

“Great, did you guys catch up with each other?”

“Yeah, but there’s really a lot of things to catch up, I need to see her again.” She smiled, looking genuinely happy talking about the best friend. “You should come with me later, I’ll introduce you to her.”

“Who’s her name again?”

“Haneul.”

“Huh?”

Ji Hyun’s heart felt like it suddenly stopped. There’s something she couldn’t decipher. From the way Jongin’s gaze changed into a dark one.

Yes, Ji Hyun was testing the water.

Jongin just shook his head, taking a deep breath before throwing his gaze far away to the horizon. Ji Hyun wanted to ask. Ji Hyun wanted to know the truth. No, she was denying the truth, and she wanted a proof that it was not what she was thinking about.

The girl had gone through Jongin’s phone gallery the night before, and she really didn’t know how to feel when she found a picture of Jongin, with the girl she was really familiar with.

“Ji,”

“Hm?”

“Have I told you a story?”

Ji Hyun only shook her head, but she settled herself comfortable, still sitting on the hand-rest, circling her arm around his shoulder, because she knew Jongin was going to tell her, things that had been bottled up inside him these past days. Because he never answered every time Ji Hyun asked, and now that he was willing to tell, Ji Hyun would be there, even if it’s hard for her, she wanted to be there for him. Even when there’s a thunderstorm currently happening inside her head.

“Once upon a time, there’s this boy who fell in love with someone in the middle of his struggle to move on from his past love. He fell in love, hard. So hard he didn’t even know how to stop. The girl seemed to love him like he did. She was always there for him. She never failed cracking a smile from his lips. She was the sun to his day, and the moon to his night. As much as he wanted to deny, he couldn’t. Because he really did love her. He really fell in love with her.

“He showered her with all the love he had. His mind was always thinking about her. His heart always wanted to be near her. His day always revolved around her.

“It was fine. He never forced her to feel anything towards him, as long as he was with her, then he was sure that he would be happy, and everything would be just fine.

“But things changed, Ji. He realized that he was craving for more, more, and more.

“And one thing that actually bothered him, and couldn’t help but made him sad was, the girl never once told him those words. Those words that the boy always showered her with.

“One day, he didn’t even know how, their meetings suddenly became a rare moment. The frequency started decreasing. She was slowly fading away from his days. She rarely showed up without him knowing the exact reason why. The girl never answered when she was asked. Although she was still as sweet as he knew before, nothing really changed, but he couldn’t help but wondering, did she not love him like he did. Because yes, she never told him that she loved him.

“It was that one fresh and bright morning when the boy found out the truth. He found out the truth not from her, not even from someone else. He found out the truth from a damn newspaper. It might sound exaggerating, but his heart shattered into pieces right then right there.

“He was angry, definitely, but as time went by, he, then realized the mistakes that he had made. A big mistake.

“The boy never gave her chance to tell her about herself.

“He always said that he loved her, but he never asked anything about her.

“The boy was selfish. He was too selfish to know what colour she liked, what flower did she prefer if the boy wanted to bring her some, what things did she like to do on her leisure time. He really didn’t know anything about her because he was too busy falling in love. He was too busy, overwhelmed by the feelings he felt.

“But it was too late. He realized everything when the girl left. He realized everything when she was already in someone else’s hug.

The silence was overwhelming. Both of them could only hear their own heavy breath.

“If… if the boy came to her, to ask her if she ever loved him, was it okay, Ji?”

Ji Hyun kept quiet, but she knew there’s something cracked. Deep. Deep inside her heart.

“Ji, is it okay if I come to her, and ask if she ever loved me? Because I am still that selfish, I want to know if she ever felt the same. Because it felt too real for a façade. Because if she loved me then I want to fight for her.”

“Jongin…” Ji Hyun chuckled bitterly. “Did you know you just broke my heart?” She caressed his head who was leaning on her body.

“I’m sorry, Ji… I’m so sorry… I still love her, that much…”

Ji Hyun heaved a long sigh before continue carding her fingers through his messy hair. She did too much damage, and she really felt that she didn’t deserve to rob his happiness for the second time. Ji Hyun knew that it’s the time. It really was the time to finally let him go.

“Then go find her. Fight for her you loser.” She slapped his shoulder, earning a small sad chuckle and a hug from the boy who was nothing but desperately in love.

Sehun scooted closer to the girl who was sitting on the couch beside him. She pulled her knees up, caging the bowl of popcorn that they made together earlier this evening. The couple was spending their night together in Sehun’s place. Sehun actually wanted to bring her out for a movie and a dinner, but the girl politely refused. She said she just wanted to do noth