1. eins

Clink

The bell clinking when the door to a coffee shop at the corner of the street pulled open, signing the employee that guests were still coming at this hour. The next day was a public holiday, it was no wonder people were still wandering around the town albeit it was almost midnight. Everyone could feel the comfort warm engulfed them as soon as they stepped inside the shop. It was already the middle of March, but it was surprisingly still chilling, and that was probably why they were still queueing at this very shop, looking for some warmth from a cup of coffee.

Far at the corner of the shop, a girl was diligently typing on her laptop. She sat right at the side of the window. She always did. There was a time where she fixed her glasses sitting at the bridge of her not-so-pointy nose with her slender forefinger, probably trying to take a better look at the paragraph she was typing. There were also times where her gaze lingered far across the street for some good minutes, simply looking at the city streetlights, or examining people standing at the bus stop waiting for their ride. Some other times she just bore her gaze on the screen, chin propped on her hand, with her fingers lightly tapping her jaw sometimes.

The girl usually came on Saturday at 7 p.m. She would order a medium sized Hot Chocolate mostly, or a Green Tea Frappuccino with extra whipped cream added. After placing her order, she would sit at that very place, the corner of the shop, right beside the windows. There were times where a glitch of a slight frown could be seen on her face when her favourite place was occupied, but mostly, a small smile would spread on her lips if the seat was vacant. When she came with her hair down, she would quickly pull her hair into a ponytail as soon as she settled down before opening up her laptop. While waiting for her laptop turning on, she would take a look at her small but thick white notebook, jotting down some words, spilling up some secrets between her and the book, before shifting her attention back to the screen and finally drowning on her own world until the shop almost closed.

It was only that much that Jongin knew about this girl.

“Just go greet her, won’t you?” Minseok whispered as he nudged on Jongin’s shoulder who was—again—currently busy watching the said girl from his corner. Hands propping on his chin, literally ignoring every single thing happened around him.

The man could only frown and sighed in defeat. “No, hyung.” He shook his head. “She always seems to be busy every time she is here. I don’t want to disturb her.”

Minseok poked the younger’s cheek. “Then you won’t get to know her at all.” He said while walking to the sink to wash a pile of coffee cups. “You said she usually comes on Saturday, didn’t you?”

Jongin nodded with a vague smile on his lips, but then he shrugged, clearly catching the hidden question behind Minseok’s real question. “I don’t know, tomorrow is a holiday though?” Minseok just shook his head at the younger’s cowardice and gave his attention back to the dishes. It wasn’t the first time the older asked Jongin to directly approach her. It has also been a while since the said girl caught his attention effortlessly, yet Jongin was still being a coward, didn’t brave enough even just to let out a quiet hello.

“Just do it, Jongin. At least when you still have a chance, or you’ll regret it.”

He wanted to. Really.

But something inside his heart stopped him.

“Move on, Jongin.” Minseok patted his back before taking out his apron, leaving the counter because his shift was already ended.

In the end, just like the other passed days, Jongin just simply stayed at his corner, fiddling with his pen and paper, and feeling contented just by watching her in silence.

“Jongin, can you help me to take over the cashier for a while? I have something important came up,” Jaehyun peeked inside a wide room, a warehouse, and called his friend out.

Jongin shouted an okay then came out from the warehouse after giving a red mark on the last thing he checked. He’s currently checking the stock of the store’s raw material. Being a supervisor made him had a lot of responsibilities from a-to-z about the store. One of it was handling the cashier, which everyone there already knew, that not every employee could take over the cashier machine.

The smell of roasted coffee bean prickled Jongin’s nose as soon as he came inside the café from the back door. It was quite crowded, almost every single seat was occupied. He quickly put a smile on his lips and greet the customer which was already waiting in front of the counter. Putting in the order, asking the customer’s name to be put on the cup, and then transferred the cup to the other partner behind the coffee machine.

“Hello, can I have your order?” He lifted up his head and smiled after taking note of the last bill and put it on the drawer.

Jongin froze.

“I’ll have one Green Tea Frappe, please.”

The man practically nodded.

“Oh.” She suddenly added. “With extra whipped cream, please.”

If he could, he would melt right at the moment she finished her sentence with a cute grin on her face, somewhat pleading. “S—sure thing. Anything else?” Jongin wanted to smack his own head for stuttering. He could only hope his face wasn’t as burned as his heart right at that moment.

She shook her head before taking out her purse. The girl put down her card which then Jongin took for her payment. She stole a glance at the corner she usually seated in, and a familiar frown suddenly appeared on her face—Jongin could see from his peripheral vision, well, might just say that he stole a glance at the girl every once a while. He gave her card back before asking her to wait. She quickly turned her body and scanned the room, looking for another vacant comfortable seat since her favourite corner was occupied. There were only two empty tables. One on the middle of the room, and the other one stood kind of far, almost close with the back door. The girl chose the latter.

“Green tea frappe for Pearl ssi.”

She stood up and took her drink from the counter. As she seated herself back, she suddenly wondered, I don’t think I mentioned Pearl earlier.

She glanced at the counter for a mere second, but then just let it slide and quickly drown on her own world.

Jongin didn’t expect her at all. Sure it was probably a day off for her—he didn’t know though if it really was—but he really didn’t expect it. The man never once taking her order nor facing her directly. Jongin just loved to listen, and to observe. He heard her putting out which kind of drink she would like to have. He heard the barista calling out her name when her drink was ready—thus he remembered her name. He saw her walked from the counter to the corner where she wanted to sit on. He almost knew every details about what she did at the café. Well, it wasn’t kind of stalk according to him—just like what Minseok said to him about that before—Jongin preferred to be called as being observant.

And there, after finished taking order, Jongin found himself staring at her back—as she sat at the side which faced the wall. Jaehyun was already back and currently putting the apron. He was about to thank Jongin, but he found his friend sat in silence at the corner of the coffee counter. When he followed Jongin’s gaze, he instantly knew why.

“Yah!”

Jongin winced in pain. Jaehyun just smacked the back of his head with a book, and he laughed watching the younger rubbing his head in annoyance.

“Was it that hard to say hello?” Jaehyun sarcastically asked.

The younger could only pout. Everyone at the shop probably already knew about Jongin’s possible crush on this girl. They often found him—when he wasn’t on his job—staring at the girl. Sometimes he drew a small sketch on his book while watching her from afar. It could be just a simple drawing of flowers, or a rough sketch of sunset, but all Jongin knew, he did it while looking at the calming scenery in front of him.

“Come on, don’t you want to get to know her?”

“I do, hyung…”

“Then go on, what are you waiting for? A right time?” The older scoffed as he finished his question.

Jongin drowned deep inside his thought. The older sounded somewhat right. What was he waiting for? Everyone literally pushed him with all their might to even just a drop a simple hello to the girl—they got tired already, probably. They were right, though. There was nothing wrong with saying a hello. The after effect? He could just think about it later.

The man stole another glance at the girl, and this time, he really felt his breath suddenly stopped when her eyes met his. He held the gaze for a short while, and he could swear his inside just did a somersault right before she turned her head away back to her business, Jongin caught a small smile slipping from her lips.

For him. He thought.

Probably. Who knows?

Jongin didn’t know a simple smile could bring him to a Cloud 9, but the thing he knew for sure, that smile made him realize that he was being stupid it would prevent him from getting anywhere.

Saturday is coming, I’ll do it this Saturday. Jongin found himself making a promise, and a small sincere smile finally spread on his lips.

But Jongin forget that everything wouldn’t always run as smooth as its plan.

Yes.

And Jongin has never been more regretful than that day.

It has been three Saturday passed, and the girl never appeared since that day he promised himself to greet her. Jongin had appeared gloomy since the last three Saturday. Minseok and Jaehyun couldn’t even do anything as they knew that it was just going to make him even sadder.

The smiley little brother turned into a cloud of gloom that Saturday.

Jongin had prepared himself. He wore the best button up denim he had—as he knew that he looked so damn good on it. He combed his hair at first, but looked a bit embarrassed he decided to just keep his ruffled hair. He wished it would look more attractive though. The man sprayed his favourite perfume before heading out to the shop. When he arrived, Minseok scrunched his nose at his smell and teased the younger. Jongin really looked happy, he only sent him a meaningful smile and said, “Wait and see, hyung.”

Jaehyun was the first to notice the younger’s mood change as it got darker outside. He wanted to ask, but Jongin seems not in the mood to talk, so he just let him. The younger, in the end, ended up keeping himself busy, taking over the coffee maker and kept himself occupied until his shift ended.

“You okay?” Minseok nudged the younger’s shoulder when Jongin finished cleaning the tables.

Jongin nodded absentmindedly.

“You don’t. You can’t lie to me, Jongin.”

“Hyung,” He sighed before turning his head to the older’s direction. “I’m okay.”

Minseok could hint the sadness on his eyes. He just sent a soft smile to him, originally wanted to give him one or two comfort words, but ended up only patting his back. Because there was a line that he couldn’t cross, and Jongin better left alone when this kind of situation came up. At least for now.

Was that a sign? Was that smile possibly the first and the last smile he could ever get from her?

Why did she affect him this much?

No matter how hard Jongin tried, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. The harder he tried, the longer that smile stayed on his head.

Jongin wanted to do something, to search for her, but he was simply clueless, really didn’t have any idea where to find her.

It was already the third Saturday Jongin had been waiting for an uncertainty. He came in the morning, still hoping for a miracle, hoping the girl would magically appear once more. But as the sun gets closer to the horizon, the hope itself was slowly fading away.

Jongin didn’t know when the first time he noticed her. It felt like she was always there from the beginning. He got used to her presence, watching the girl sipping her drink, typing, gazing at the outside of the windows, and just being there. Jongin got used to watch her from afar, letting his pencil danced on his sketch book, and for him, it was enough. He didn’t expect he would want more. More than just watching her, he wanted to talk to her. More than just sketching on his own, he wanted to colour the canvas together with her.

It has been even more than third Saturday, Jongin didn’t know. He lost count of how many Saturday she has been disappeared. But in the end, Jongin found himself slowly trying getting used to her absence.

The faint sound of microwave alarm could be heard beeping through the air of a silent house. A girl rose up from her comfortable lying position at the sofa, currently watching a movie aired at a channel. She swung her legs to the kitchen lazily before pressing the open button. Wearing a pair of gloves, she took out a bowl full of warm soup with a trail of hot steam dancing and fading to the air.

It was 4 in the morning. She was starving, and jetlagged. The house was silent. Her parents were still asleep, of course. She just came back from her short vacation—not really a vacation since she needed to take care of things—two hours ago. A big gap of time difference made her wide awake, not to mention the amount of sleep she had at the airplane earlier. She settled herself back at the sofa and started spooning her soup. That was exactly when her phone beeped, showing an unread message as the screen blinked.

Mom wants to know if you have arrived safe and sound.

The girl sighed, but she reached and replied to it anyway.

Yes, I have. Send my greetings and tell her not to worry.

She waited some minutes to see if she got a reply, but nothing came. The girl turned her attention back to the soup and watched the TV show in silence.

It was such a warm morning where the sun shines brightly, giving sign to everyone that the summer was currently on its way to greet the people. Jongin found himself out of his apartment, enjoying the morning breeze on his way to the supermarket. Last night, the man went back to his place in hunger, but he couldn’t find anything on his cupboard. He ran out of cup ramen. The refrigerator was no different. The only thing he could find was a tall bottle of milk, and three packs of frozen bread. Jongin didn