“Huh, you serious? Damn. I know I shouldn’t feel embarrassed because fans have tagged him in it at least a hundred thousand times but…” 

YoungBae froze when he walked into the room. He picked up on her voice, immediately knowing who it was despite the fact that English was being spoken. JiYong came in behind him and walked over to where Nina was sat at the kitchen table, dressed in her pyjamas with her laptop. He went around to give her a hug from behind. 

“and it’s fine, it’s not like I did anything em- can we not be cute please?” Mariana immediately changed into Japanese. YoungBae saw Nina blush and duck her head and JiYong pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I didn’t know you spoke Japanese.” JiYong responded, speaking in Japanese. 

“I’m not speaking Japanese.” Mariana said, speaking in Japanese. 

Nina giggle but JiYong rolled his eyes and, with a flick of his wrist, moved the computer around so that the monitor was turned away from JiYong and Nina… and onto YoungBae. YoungBae halted in his movements, not really sure what to do. It was enough for him to be in the same room as Nina was speaking to her but to be… this close, to see her like this. Yes, it was only on a video call but...

“YoungBae!” Mariana said, smiling at him. YoungBae had just finished deciding to subtly walk out of the room. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak to Mariana; he just wasn’t ready to. What was he going to say? He needed to act cool and right now, he was way too off guard. He had honestly dreamed of their meeting being in a club, or maybe some party. Nina would bring Mariana along as her plus one and YoungBae would have been sitting there, looking cool and casual as he sipped from a drink. 

Okay he doesn’t drink but still. 

Oh, there was the idea of meeting her after a show. Again, Nina would bring Mariana to one of their shows and he’d meet her after they’d finished. The boys will have wanted to maybe go out and celebrate or something but he’d want to relax, take a short break in his dressing room. He’d go there and Mariana would follow and introduce herself. She’d tell him how much she loved the show and how much she loved seeing him perform. That he was magnificent.

In reality, he’d just gotten back from the gym with JiYong. He was sweaty - and not in a y, alluring way. His shirt was an old one. His pants weren’t that much better and his hair needed to be washed, being kept under a hat to hide the greasiness. If any of the managers saw him, they probably would’ve yelled at him for going out dressed in such a state; even if it were only the small private gym for the top floor. 

And Mariana was seeing him like this. 

“Annyeonghaseyo!” She said. “And that’s all the Korean I know.”

It took YoungBae a moment to realise that it was his turn to say something. He cleared his throat and spoke in English, “Um, hello.” YoungBae saw the way Nina and JiYong were staring at him, both making wild actions to continue talking. “H-how are you?” He went on in English. 

He heard her sigh and said, “Yeah good, yourself?”

“Good.”

There was a resounding thwack as Nina’s palm hit with her forehead. YoungBae looked at Nina who stood up and picked the laptop. Nina said something that sounded in French and Mariana replied in the same language. YoungBae couldn’t handle how… sad the reply was. He didn’t understand what she said but he could understand that much. Nina disappeared down the hallway, laptop in hand and rapid French coming out of . YoungBae stared at the back of Nina’s head. He had well and truly just stuffed up.

“Well done, Taeyang.” 

YoungBae flinched at JiYong’s comment and looked at him with a frown. The others would use each other’s stage name if it was required for an interview or if they were being sarcastic with each other in private. This was neither. This was an insult. 

“What was that?” YoungBae demanded from his friend.

“I just thought we’re going to look at each other like the fans do.” JiYong said. YoungBae didn’t get what he was saying. “What the hell was that? Talking to her like - “

“I was taken by surprise! You’re the one who put me on the spot!” YoungBae defended. 

“Because I know you and I know you would’ve run off!” JiYong retorted. YoungBae sighed and ran a hand over his face. JiYong was right. It was undeniable to say that YoungBae had enough courage to walk behind Nina, into shot and introduce himself to Mariana. He wished he did, but the truth was that he didn’t. That was why all of his conjured up dreams of meeting Mariana had been with her coming to him.

“Ji,” YoungBae began, “I’m not you. I don’t know how to talk to girls. I don’t - “ YoungBae stopped, “and she’s, like, so beautiful and wonderful and well known and…” YoungBae let out a sigh, “out of my league.” 

It was then that Nina came back into the room. She looked like she had heard everything and walked over to him. YoungBae was expected a hug or a pat on the shoulder or some show of affection to reassure him. No. Nina just began slapping the upside of his head. 

“Go have a shower and get dressed. I’m going out. Stop being an idiot.” Nina huffed and went to go back to where the laptop was, probably to do some work or something. YoungBae just stood there, unsure of what to do. 

“Does this mean that I’m going with you?” YoungBae asked. Nina looked from her seat at the table like she wished to get back up and hit YoungBae. That, however, was unnecessary as SeungHyun had walked into the room and had hit YoungBae on the upside of the head as he walked past the dancer. YoungBae grabbed the back of his neck, seriously feeling the pain of being hit several times in the span of a few seconds. 

“Yes.” The rapper said. “Stop being an idiot and go get dressed.” YoungBae looked at the everyone and turned around in a huff. As he marched to his room, he came across DaeSung. DaeSung looked at YoungBae and opened his mouth to speak but the latter cut him off. 

“Yes! I know! Stop being an idiot and get dressed! You don’t need to hit me!” 

“I was just going to ask if you had seen my phone charger?”

YoungBae felt like an idiot and went to go get dressed. As he did, he was mildly glad that Nina and SeungHyun had literally slapped some sense into him. Where ever Nina wanted to take him, he was more than happy to go. He needed a break: the fans hadn’t left him alone. 

YoungBae had to actually turn off his phone because it kept vibrating from fans going crazy. Surprisingly, it was not the backlash that everyone Korean star feared. The VIP fandom had been well aware of his… admiration for Demmy D for quite some time now. It had become a part of Taeyang’s images as much as ripping his shirt off on stage was. He used to resent that, feeling like he couldn’t keep things separated. Compartmentalised. That this was YoungBae and this was Taeyang. 

Unlike the situation earlier. 

But now he was glad because the ship had set sail. Fans were raving about them. Video edits were being made. Photos of them had been photoshopped to display them together, holding hands, kissing or some other couple-y pose. These photos were used by the fanfiction authors who went crazy, finally having some ammunition for their stories about the two famous artist who just belonged together. There were the sasaengs who hated Mariana and called her names and cited the entire video being fake and that she hated BigBang anyway and didn’t even deserve to watch the videos. 

He finished, putting a hat to cover the hair he couldn’t be bothered doing and walked back into the living room.

“Let’s go.” Nina announced as she grabbed a jacket that was slung over the couch, YoungBae saw that it was JiYong’s, and she grabbed her phone and set of keys. YoungBae saw a few of the PR look at Nina and him and YoungBae silently turned around and went to go change. He dressed in all black - jeans and hoodie. He put a hat on and and just as he was tying up the laces to his Vans, Nina and JiYong walked into his room, arguing like an old married couple. 

“I just don’t get why you have to go out.” JiYong said, speaking to the back of Nina’s head. Nina ignored JiYong, just looking at YoungBae with a pleasant smile on her face.

“You ready, Bae?” YoungBae nodded to her question and stood up. Nina turned around and came face to face with JiYong. 

“You’re not leaving.” JiYong surprised everyone by saying. 

“Yes I am.”

“It’s late!”

“I know this city like the back of my hand.” Nina said. She then let out a sigh and walked up to him. She put her hands on his shoulders and YoungBae felt awkward, knowing that she probably going to say something unknowingly cheesy that would make JiYong melt. Instead, she just kissed him square on the mouth. YoungBae blinked, realising that he was actually witnessing JiYong and Nina kissing. Actually kissing. 

You were an idiot if you couldn’t tell from the way that JiYong looked at her and the way Nina smiled whenever she spoke about him. However, YoungBae couldn’t help but feel that he was experiencing, potentially, the first kiss the two of them shared. If not the first, it was something new between the two. Hell, YoungBae could tell that JiYong was surprised. 

Then when his friend caught on and grabbed her waist, YoungBae suddenly found interest in the ceiling.

“Now you’re definitely not leaving.” JiYong said, his voice low and husky in a way that would make any girl swoon. Nina, however, just patted his cheek and moved out of his embrace. 

“I’ll be back soon.” Nina said. 

“We’re going to finish that.” 

“Yes oppa.” Nina said it sarcastically, turning away as she did. But YoungBae that saw how they affected his best friend and, really, it was understandable. YoungBae was quick to pat his friend on the shoulder as a farewell before following the girl who had Kwon JiYong wrapped around her finger. Nina didn’t say anything to YoungBae as they waited for the valet to bring her car around. YoungBae didn’t say anything to her during the car ride. It was only when they arrived outside the door to an aquarium that YoungBae had to ask. 

“What are we doing here?”

“You are going to get a break from being a Korean pop star and I’m going to go back to hopefully not get killed by our best friend.” Nina answered. 

YoungBae paused. Nina had brought him to an aquarium in Paris as a means of escaping all the buzz. Not to mention, it was well after ten at night. The place was closed - 

“It’s not closed. The owner’s inside. They’ll help you out.” Nina answered his unspoken question. YoungBae looked at Nina and acknowledged what made him pause: she said our best friend. 

“Do you love JiYong?” YoungBae asked. 

“Yes.” She said without hesitation. “I love him and I love you and I love Seungri and DaeSung and SeungHyun.” Nina said. “We’ve been over this, haven’t we? There isn’t anyone I wouldn’t die for.” Nina stopped and smiled at YoungBae, “If you’re asking me if I’m in love with JiYong…”

“Are you?” YoungBae asked. 

Nina leaned back in her seat and looked out the window at the aquarium. The fluorescent lights of the sign shone against the night and YoungBae saw how it reflected on her different coloured eyes. “Do you know why I moved to Seoul?” YoungBae shook his head, no, he didn’t. 

But he didn’t want to speak because he felt this was going to be one of those rare monologues Nina would give in which you’d get to see deep into her old and wise soul. Nina was quiet. And so was he. He both envied and admired these moments where she’d tell a story about her life in which would become parable to explaining one of the more complex things in life. Right now, he knew she was going to explain that one thing that had eluded him for so long. 

“Christmas Day. My parents wanted to go the beach with a group of people from church. Now, you now I’m not festive nor that I don’t like water. So I was in a bad mood that day. Especially since the only people my age there were boys and they all wanted to go in the water. But one. He said he didn’t like the water either and we both found kinship in our dislike of being in water. Having said this, we both still had our feet in the water and began walking. As we began walking, we began talking. Our dislike of water evolved into what else we disliked into what we were scared of. In discussing our fears, we discussed our hopes and dreams. For a few hours on that beach, I was content. 

“Which was surprising cause I, you know, hate the beach and Christmas but I was happy. It felt… easy.” Nina stopped and sighed. “His name is Raf and ever since I can remember, I’ve thought I was going to marry him.”

YoungBae tried to keep quiet. He really did. He tried so much to keep silent but he couldn’t keep that exhale in. That heavy exhale which made Nina look at him and give a pained smile. She her lips and moved her gaze back at the aquarium. 

“It was just… like, whenever the thought of who I would marry would come up, his face just came up in my mind. And it wasn’t like I had a crush on him. It was more of a yeah, okay.” She said with a shrug. “But after that beach trip… I fell. I fell hard. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. My mother, whom I told, was ecstatic because she always wanted him and I to get together. It only made me feel more convinced that I was going to marry him.”

“The issue was I was in my final year of high school but I had thought I had found the guy I had wanted to marry. So I was conflicted because I had skipped the whole being friends and then slowly falling and then it was getting serious.” Nina chewed on her lip and YoungBae saw how she looked outside her car window, so as to try and avoid looking at him for as long as possible. He knew why she didn’t want to look at him because he saw the glistening in her eyes. 

He forced himself to do nothing. 

“So imagine me, utterly convinced I was going to marry this beautiful boy that was kind and gentle and ticked all the boxes. Imagine me asking my brother what to do because he was on his way to getting married and I wanted to follow in his footsteps, you know, get it right. I tell him about my feelings, about the beach, about Raf. I tell him and he tells me Raf already has a girl.

“The most painful part was that Raf didn’t really do anything. I was just too in love with the idea of love and rushing to find it. But it also hurt when his girlfriend would look at me with a smirk, knowing she had what I didn’t. For a long while I resented her… she was, smart and pretty and,” Nina took a breath and let it out with her words, “studying to be a teacher which pissed me off because that’s what I wanted to study.” Nina laughed and shook her head. “I even cut my hair to try and disassociate myself from her.” 

“You say I’m brave to come here but it was cowardly. I ran. I ran and came here, the furthest thing from back home. There was no Raf and no parents and no one but me. I could only focus on myself. I learnt to be on my own and appreciate being alone, to learn that being alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely.”

Nina looked at her fingers and interlocked her hands in the way that some couples do, fingers clasping. “I came to Korea and never even imagined meeting someone like JiYong. He was… pretty. Our first meeting wasn’t anything spectacular and I knew me saying he wasn’t me type would set him off. Funnily enough, in trying to woo me and prove I was his type, I found myself getting closer to him as a friend who would be there for me. Yes, there were instances of doubt that he was only giving me attention because he wanted to get in my pants but he proved me wrong every time. He’d be there. He’d have my back.

“I said our best friend because while I know you two share this incredible bond that you can’t explain… he’s just…” Nina shook her head, “See, I can’t explain it. Like, right now, I want to tell him all of this. I would tell him but…”

“Why won’t you?” YoungBae asked, not understanding what the issue was. With something so personal, YoungBae could not see JiYong doing anything but hugging Nina and reassuring her that everything was fine and that he loved her. Which YoungBae knew with utmost certainty that Ji did.

“Because he knows me better than I know myself.” Nina said simply. “I would tell him this but he would know each word before it passed my lips. He, he knows me so well, Bae. It’s scary. I don’t know if I love him because I’ve gotten it wrong before and I don’t - I don’t want to get it wrong with him. He’s too… he’s too perfect for that.” Nina laid her head on the head rest of the seat. She looked up. 

“Sometimes I wished he wasn’t the one I loved because then I could ask him if he thought I loved him.” 

She wiped her tears and it made YoungBae realise tears had streamed down his face. He wiped them also and stared at Nina. She laughed and wiped her face again. “So there we go. Sorry for speaking so much. You know the story now.” Nina bit her lip. “Maybe that’s why I’m pushing this. Because I’m not sure about me but I’m sure about you.” 

“What are you talking about?” YoungBae asked, the change of direction in her words catching him off guard. Nina caressed his cheek and smiled softly at him. 

“The owner should be able to give you a lift. If you really need a lift - “ 

“I’ll ask the owner.” YoungBae knew she was going to tell him to tell her but there was no way he was going to disrupt Nina. There was no way he was going to disrupt Nina or JiYong tonight. With what she told him, he knew that getting it out was a lot for her. He knew that she was going to go home and be emotional and JiYong was going to be there. And that was ignoring the way that JiYong stared at her as left, having called him oppa. 

YoungBae turned and opened the car door. Just before he stepped outside, he turned and looked at Nina. “Just before I go, I wanna say thank you.”

“You need a break, Bae.”

“Besides that.” He said. “You came at a time when my- our best friend was at a tipping point and you, well, you saved him. So thank you. You both are some of the best people I know and sincerely deserve each other.”

“I don’t deserve him.” Nina said as Bae stepped out. Just before he closed the car door, YoungBae turned and smiled at Nina. 

“And you know what’s funny? He would say that exact same thing about you.”