“Okay, I understand…” Jessica closes her eyes shut biting her lower lip. “I’m coming but I don’t think I’ll stay long.” She is on the phone with Sooyoung that is trying to convince to make her go to Taety’s bachelor party.

Talking about Jessica, management consultant for an advertising company, travel a lot barely have time to do anything and when she has free time she spends it with her little sister Krystal that she calls ‘My baby’

All the group met in college, best friend from the very beginning all of them never lost touch even if Taeyeon and Tiffany are dating, to engage and now are getting married.

Turning back in time, Jessica was in love with Taeyeon but never tell the latter to know afraid to break their friendship although it was already broken the moment the pale skin girl happily announce that she is dating the eye-smile girl.

Jessica distant herself, completely making Taeyeon always wondering the reason why.

“You are coming alright, if not I’m coming to your office and drag your to the party!” Sooyoung says making Jessica chuckles on the other line.

“I’m coming but I won’t stay long I have work tomorrow and a meeting,” Jessica says while packing her stuff.

“Okay Missy, can you live for once without thinking about work… Aish…” Sooyoung says.

“I have to make a living Soo-ah.” Jessica laughs; “It’s settled then, I have to go”

“Bye” She hangs up looking up to the ceiling, this is it, maybe all her wishes and hopes are really vanishing away Taeyeon will really get married and there is no way around.

×××

“You know that we’ll have to tell her on the D-day.” The tanned girl says while embracing Tiffany.

She moves closer to her loved one, looking up, “I have other plans.”

“Tiffany, it’s been over years now we’ve been too far don’t you think so?”

“I want to live a normal life too and not hiding and makeup excuses all the time to see and be with you.” Yuri is frustrated by the situation, well who wouldn’t be?

Yuri, irritated skips to the bedroom, she is soon being followed by Tiffany that tackles her on the bed….

×××

Everyone has gathered in a small rental house rented by Tiffany to celebrate the coming wedding, well one of them except Jessica that is like all the time late.

Making all of them laugh when she arrived breathlessly and a little devilish form her running.

“Sorry guys my bad, I thought…“ She was trying to explain when Sooyoung cuts her off.

“That the meeting would never end,” Sooyoung says nonchalantly.

“JESSI!” Tiffany screams launching herself on the latter, making the girl stumble.

“Hi! Congrats.” Jessica says embracing the girl back.

“How have you been God it’s been sooo long,” Tiffany says holding on her.

Taeyeon stands there looking at Jessica, it must have been more than (a decade) that she has seen the girl back, then a sudden feeling, a weird one surface, Taeyeon is has a tingling feeling in her skin. She watched her old best friend interact with her wife to be, blankly Taeyeon doesn’t say a word she is like paralyzed and completely frozen at the sight of Jessica it’s been seven years that she hasn’t seen the girl the last time was graduation day where they were not talking to each other, because at that time Tiffany is dating her.

×

Taeyeon stands in the corner looking at Jessica drinking the bar, she ends three glasses of long island iced tea, two scotches, and a beer. They are loads of guests for anyone to notice Jessica and take time to talk to her, but Taeyeon is standing there looking at her all the time from the moment she steps in until now after three hours of the party.

The pale skin is like up by all the emotion that when she saw Jessica enters in. Taeyeon isolates herself, to watch Jessica downing glasses after glasses strolling on her phone and continues downing glasses. Taeyeon is burning with wants to go talk to the latter because she is curious and wonders about how have Jessica been in the past seven years ago. She runs immediately to Jessica when the girl stumbles after descending from the high chair.

“I got you.” Taeyeon holds onto her.

…

“…Taengoo?” Jessica says pointing her finger at the woman.

“Yeah, I’m your Taengoo.” Taeyeon smiles, then grimace right away at the smell of the alcohol.

“Imma take you home, hold on still.” Taeyeon adjusts Jessica on the chair near the stairs and goes to Tiffany.

“Hey… Hum… I will take Jessica home…” Taeyeon scraps the back of her neck while pointing with her thumb to the sleeping lump on the chair behind.

“Alright be careful baby, oh!” After kissing Taeyeon, Tiffany says, “I might sleep with the girls tonight so don’t wait on me.”

Taeyeon nods and goes back to the drunken girl on the chair, she carries Jessica in her arms like a bridal exiting the party, to her car then she realizes that she doesn’t know where the younger girl lives. She bumps her head on Jessica that is already out, and sigh… after reflection, she puts Jessica on the passenger seat and goes to the driver seat.

She takes times admiring Jessica soft skin that is reflecting under the moonlight, all her sweets memories with Jessica flood black up making her blush and look right away when her face is too close to the latter.

“Taeyeon you cannot, you’ll be married soon…” She says to herself shaking her head.

After so much thinking Taeyeon comes up with an idea, why not rummage Jessica’s wallet maybe her place is indicated on her ID.

“I’m sorry, forgive me,” Taeyeon says, she takes the girls purse and starts to look for the wallet when she falls on some pills, she thought that it might be contraceptive pills since Jessica might be dating. But while taking them out from them out into light they are actually sleeping pills.

“Why would you need sleeping pills?” Taeyeon murmurs.

Frowning, Taeyeon quickly put them back in her purse and pulls out the wallet looking at the address, she is determinate to ask what those pills, because Jessica is not the kind to need it.

×

Taeyeon is trying to carry the girl in her flat like how she carried her out of the party, the only thing now that Jessica seems heavier than earlier.

“Why do you seem heavier than what you look like?” Taeyeon murmurs her dorky smile drops when she comes face to face with the digit code in front of the door.

“Oh…. Boy…”

….

Taeyeon contemplates the door for a good twenty minutes, she manages to have a good grip on Jessica’s body to snuggle her face in the younger girl’s neck taking the remaining smell of her fragrance. That is bold of her, quite intimate too but she wants to do it, she wants to return to her youth where she used to be.

“My birthday maybe? I remember you used to use my birthday for your locker back then?” Taeyeon asks herself.

Bingo!

Taeyeon smiles when she strikes it well, she thought in her head, maybe some things don’t change, she pushes through the door, taking off her shoes, she carries Jessica in the bedroom.

Laying down the girl Taeyeon straightens up and looks around, weirdly under the dim light the huge bedroom is just filled with the king size bed.

….

“I love you…”

“I love you Taeyeon…”

Jessica mumbles in her drunk state, “Don’t marry her…” She says again with a lone tear streaming from her cheek.

“… Taeyeon…”

The dialogue didn’t make Taeyeon unnoticed as she sits right next to Jessica watching the girl struggle to suppress her sadness and her drunkenness, Taeyeon doesn’t move when she hears it again;

“I’m in love with you…” Jessica breathes out.

Then it strikes Taeyeon straight into the core, all of it made sense since college, the reasons why Jessica never dates, stay alone, declining offers to go or hang out, most the reason why she distanced herself from her. Taeyeon widens her realizing for the first time in her life that Jessica actually loved her and decided to go away and closed her feeling for her happiness.

Taeyeon moves from her sitting position to go take a towel to wipe Jessica’s devilish face, it was the least that she can afford to do for the heartbreaking girl.

Jessica never recovers from her lost cause, she buries herself and tries to survive like anyone else after a heartbroken. She acts normal and hides her feeling deep inside her heart without telling anyone hoping that she would die with that secret. Now table turns Taeyeon know it and things were about to change.

“Taeyeon… I… love… you…” Exhaustion is evident in Jessica’s voice that much that it makes Taeyeon’s heart shattered

Taeyeon lays down next to her admiring her beauty, recalling the first time they met in college during Latin letters classes, where Jung was late and asked her if she could borrow a pen. Taeyeon was mesmerized, so much that while she gave out the pen her hand was shaking making Jessica smiled warmly, but then a new transfer student came and all her attention had been reversed. Taeyeon fell for Tiffany, that was more straightforward and more appealing.

Taeyeon then lost track of Jessica for seven years after graduation the woman went off the radar because due to her work and family matter that once again no one knows except for Yoona that keep in touch with her occasionally. The only time she heard about Jessica was Yoona who tells her about updating the group.

It is crystal clear now the reason why she never comes to reunions and why she never text in the group message Taeyeon has always wonder but finish to let go because she doesn’t have time to buy with her father business, too busy with Tiffany.

“Jessica… “

Taeyeon reaches out to caress the girl’s cheek. “I’m sorry.” She stays put, she holds still, watching the other girl sleeping and crying.

It breaks her heart too, but she couldn’t do anything, she has already promised, her parents have already given their blessing and the wedding is planned to be in six days. Her faith was settle. Taeyeon fidget’s closer to Jessica gazing at the girl until sleep overcome her, she falls asleep with her arm on the latter’s back.

×××

Morning rise, Jessica opens her eyes and jerks out immediately when she comes face to face with Taeyeon, memories loose she slowly realizes that she was drunk and Taeyeon actually helped her got home.

However, she doesn’t have time and must leave for work Jessica does leave without a sound just a note that she takes time to write and stick it on Taeyeon’s hand.

Moment later………

Taeyeon opens her eyes, she looks around when she notices that this isn’t her place and the bed isn’t hers and Tiffany’s one she turns to reach the other side when she feels it empty. Taeyeon raises to sit upright when, running her hand in her hair when she feels something sticky in her hair, pulling it off she sees;

Thank You,

Goodbye.

J.J