“I am not going please momma”, I said as I held on to my blanket for dear life.

“Lalisa Manoban, you are making me late for work, I am walking on thin ice with my job as it is” yelled momma.

“Let us make a deal kiddo, if you let go of the blanket I will take you to the arcade today”, said momma.

“You promise I asked sulking, you will not break your promise this time?”

Momma looked at me with hurt in her eyes, I had struck a nerve. She is married to her job, I rarely see her except on weekends when we go to grandma`s house. The guilt shown through her eyes so she sat at the edge of my bed and hugged me. At thirteen, I have mastered the art of telling the difference between genuine and fake. My momma`s hug was fake.

I broke the hug and silently picked my Spiderman bag from the floor. This too was going to be part of my hurt series of memories between my momma and me. Momma was already speaking on the phone with a client as we got into the car. I put my bag at the back seat, I reach over to switch on the radio but momma gave me a glare and shook her head before I could do it. I slowly retracted my hand. I had no option but to gaze at the trees as we passed by. These trees have been my best companions all these years and today was no different. They tell me their secrets and in turn I tell them mine.

The fallen leaves and fig branches told me that they had a rough windy night. The trees were hard to see now with momma driving at her highest speed yet, but I told the trees my secret anyway, with just one sigh and a slow beating heart. Yesterday, at school Mrs Kim decided that we were going to play Romeo and Juliet for our collective drama class mark. I was day dreaming in class as usual, writing my poems when Mrs Kim called my name and said I would play Romeo. There were snickers as I walked to the front of the class with my head hung low. This was a culture shock. The whole school knows I do not do well with any kind of participation.

In grade -school I threw up my whole lunch when I was asked to sing the National Anthem. Since then, the teachers new better than to call my name for anything. I guess Mrs Kim did not know yet because she was a new teacher. I could feel my legs giving out as I stood in front of the class. My heart hammered, and I felt my knees shaking. Mrs Kim had already called Juliet and Juliet was being played by no else other than Roseanne Park better known as Rose`. I leaned my back on the white board. I was utterly screwed.