I've said before in an interview that I wanted to go back when I was still 18. Why? Because that is when I told myself that Chaeng is off limits. My decision was absolutely firm.

**

3 years ago, that night in our dorm, we were playing spin the bottle. They asked me to choose, truth or dare. I answered let's go with the truth. They did ask me if I would like to date Chaeng? Yes, yes, you might guess it right now. Me not being ready to be open and gay for Park Chaeyoung. You got it, my silly self answered no and told everyone I would rather date Jennie because she's y or Jisoo unnie because she's pretty.

**

I know. I regret everything I said. I don't intentionally wanted to hurt her. It's more like protecting myself falling more for her. It sounded or looked I'm being a jerk. Maybe I am. That's why I said I regret it. I regret pushing her away from me. Hey, you can't blame me. I'm scared. If only I could do that but I can't because right now. Right now the plane I'm in is about to crash and I think I'm going to die. I closed my eyes and everything went black.

**

Well, I died. Basically, I think I'm a lost soul or has an unfinished business because when I opened my eyes. I'm here inside my room floating.Funny how fast I accepted reality. But the pain I'm seeing right now breaks my heart into pieces. I don't want to cry but I can see Chaeng crying while hugging Leo and my picture. Leo purred and looked at my direction. Can he see me? I petted him though it just went through. Yep, I'm dead. I just watch sadly how Chaeng cried until she fell asleep. I wanted to shout Park Chaeyoung I love you, I'm here and I'm sorry for everything but hell nah, the other ghosts might hear me. You know I got sleep paralysis right? We'll, I just met the kid and the man who kept bugging my slumber when I was still alive. They meant no harm and they apologized for everything. We've become friends and tried to shoo away curious ghosts to go inside our dorm.

**

I don't know but I can't go outside of this house. I've been stuck here for more than 5 years now.. I tried to go out and follow the unnies whenever they go out but null. I'm already worried for Chaeng because Most of the time after their schedules she goes into my room, looking at my picture, sitting then sleeping on my bed and then cry. My members, didn't try to remove my things when YG decided it's not healthy for them to keep dwelling into it but they allowed my mom to get a few things liked the doll she gave me when I went here alone in South Korea. I cried looking at them how devastated they are. But life must go on ** If only I could go back, I'll be brave and tell the world how much I wanted to date you. I looked oblivious but I know you get jealous whenev