It’e been a while since Ahn Hyungseob had been throwing up the same flowers, it’s painful. Sometimes, he's having a hard time breathing and his throat kept on being sore but it wasn’t that obvious for the other members, he can hide it for a bit longer.

“Hyung, seriously. You’re so pale right now, have you eaten? Are you sick?” Hyungseob looked at Euiwoong that was leaning in front of their room’s door.

But he was also aware that one day, all of this would be exposed. He can only hope for a few weeks of the others being unaware of what’s happening to him, he knew that they wouldn’t like this situation and would act against Hyungseob’s decisions. Despite dissing one another, all of them are taking care each other. They had been together for a long time, Hyungseob felt like this is his second family.

Hyungseob faked a smile, “I’m fine. And I already ate my portion, Euiwoong-ah.”

“Fine,huh?” Euiwoong doesn't seem to be buying his lies and shook his head, “Look, Hyungseob hyung. You need to get well soon because our rehearsal for the final concert will be in a few days. Please prepare and take a lot of rest because we’ll undergo in the same ty situation once again.”

Hyungseob pouted as he shot a sharp look at the younger, “Language.”

“Sorry.” Euiwoong sighed as he clasped his hands together before turning his back on the hyung he’s worried about, “Remember to take care of yourself, you seem to be immorsed with your smartphone these days.”

“I will!” Hyungseob said in a cheerful tone.

As Euiwoong closed the door, he sat on his bed while slapping a hand on his face. That was close, he was just looking at the acacia flower that was on the vase. It seems to be fine, just like his hidden feelings for that certain boy.

“It’s been a while, Woojin.” He murmured before checking his smartphone for the nth time this day.

It had been a habit of Hyungseob to look at Woojin’s pictures, to be updated on the latest news about the latter, and to be aware of what’s happening on Wanna One. The group had been successful even though it wasn’t even on the part where they debut, a lot of CFs, photoshoots, and interviews. 

And Wanna One having a lot of it also means that he’ll be drowning on a lot of Park Woojin updates. Seeing an another update of the boy makes Hyungseob squeal like a typical fangirl, he likes to see Woojin, to hear his voice.. and if it’s possible, he wants to be on his side no matter what happens. He wants to be just there for the younger boy and support him, love him in secret.

And this.. is just an another day of Ahn Hyungseob fanboying on Wanna One’s Park Woojin. The next day, he's still the same and the other four boys were worried about him. 

“Wow, you looked like .” Euiwoong said as he looked at Hyungseob.

“I agree.” Justin stated as he nodded.

“Me too.” Seunghyuk said.

“Me three.." Jung Jung was hesistant but since he was worried for the boy, he agreed with Euiwoong.

“Why?” Hyungseob asked them and the four looked at each other before giving Hyungseob a once-over.

“Hyung, if you're sick or something.. you can tell us anytime,” Justin said as he showed him his wallet, “We can buy any medicine for you.”

“Or probably buy a whole drugstore since someone’s filthy rich here.” Euiwoong stated which made Justin glare at him.

“Oh shut it,shorty. Want some height-enhancing pills?” Justin backfired.

Euiwoong smirked, “No thanks, but it’ll be nice if you’ll buy some rat killer and devour it so that a pest like you could die.”

“Guys.. stop it.” Jung Jung said as he stood between the two boys that kept on glaring at each other.

“But hey,Seob hyung. I think that you’re in love..” Seunghyuk stated in all of the sudden that Hyungseob choked on his own spit.

Everyone’s attention was on Seunghyuk and the boy just sighed, technically done with all of their . Hyungseob cackled as he shook his head and kept on waving his hand left to right.

“You've got it wrong,Seunghyuk. I'm fine, trust me. Thank you for worrying but I can handle this, I promise.” Hyungseob stated as he patted their shoulders, “I'll tell you all if anything happens, stop worrying about anymore.”

“Okay,hyung.” Justin said before hugging Hyungseob, “Just remember to take care of yourself,hmm?”

“I will.” Hyungseob stated as he smiled. It’s a genuine one, just like his smiles whenever he’s with Woojin.

“Hey! Let me in the hug too!” Jung Jung whined as he hugged both of them and looked at the other two, “Euiwoong, Seunghyuk! Let’s hug! Jung Jung likes warm hugs!”

As everyone seems to be convinced by Hyungseob, Euiwoong and Seunghyuk was still worried and they shared a worried look before just joining the others. 

But afterwards, Hyungseob was back on his problematic state. It kept on happening until the day of the rehearsal, he can’t stop fidgeting as they were on the way to the venue. It seems like the boy was stucked on his seat as the van stopped and Euiwoong went out before dragging his nervous hyung out of it.

“Hyung, aren’t you even excited?” Euiwoong asked him as he nudged his shoulder on his back, “We’re going to see them again.”

“A-Ah, yeah..” Hyungseob just nodded and just let himself get dragged by the younger.

He can hear his own heartbeats  as Euiwoong opened the room, revealing the other thirty-three people in it. Some of them stood up, some were crawling on their way while the others just stared and smiled at them. Hyungseob made sure that he’ll look good today, and it was worth it. Almost everyone was telling him that he’s more good-looking now, but most of it were like murmurs to him because his eyes were glued on someone.

His hair was still red as the crimson blood, his sharp eyes that kept on captivating everyone’s hearts and that charming smile of him, revealing his snaggletooth. And yes, he’s staring at Park Woojin as if he was a masterpiece.

But in all of the sudden, the boy looked back at him. He felt like his breath was taken away by that glance, just focusing on Woojin until Kenta pushed him into his side. He heard the other boys but he paid them no mind as he kept his attention on Woojin, just like what he wanted. And they started to talk like how they used to, but the younger was still unaware of Hyungseob’s rapid heartbeats.

“Ah, I missed you hyung!” Hyungseob did not expected that Woojin would hug him.

He felt so happy that he hugged him back, he was too elated on the fact that Woojin is still the same. But that happiness didn't last long when he felt a familiar sting on his throat and he coughed, he immediately covered his mouth as he felt that a flower was about to be coughed out. He looked at the younger which was no longer smiling and his eyes was filled with worry, it didn’t help at his situation at all. He coughed again and suddenly pushed the younger before running into the  nearest restroom,locking it as soon as possible as he threw up again.

It was worse than before, this time.. it wasn’t the same flower. And it was more than the last time, lavender.. he saw these kind of flowers before and after knowing that he’s suffering on this disease, he had done some research. He knew that he already ed himself up. First, for falling too much on Park Woojin and second, for having this disease.

“Why am I so unfortunate?” He murmured before he started collecting the flowers and washing them gently, “It’s a good thing that I’m ready for this now. I have to be careful or else, everything will be exposed.”

He tried his best to throw the petals on the toilet bowl and flushed it as he carefully went out while hiding the flowers and put it on his bag as the others were already busy or with the stylists—he’ll give some of the flowers on Woojin. It’s too beautiful to just wilt in a corner.

“Hey, dude. You’re paler than the usual..” Haknyeon noticed Hyungseob’s pitiful state and gave him a cup of water, “Don’t force yourself too much.”

“Thank you, Haknyeon.” He said as he smiled.

Haknyeon nodded, “Let’s get ourselves ready.”

“I agree. It’ll be one hell of a rehearsal.” Hyungseob said as they went on one of the stylist noonas.

And just as they expected, it’s really tiring and Hyungseob seems to be the most unfortunate person because he can't focus enough and everything seems to be blurred. He’s having a hard time breathing once again and Woojin asking if he was fine isn’t helping at all. He appreciates it but Woojin and his unrequited love for the younger is the reason of this suffering.

“Okay! Break time!” After a lot of rehearsals, Hyungseob was allowed to take his break.

He was really tired but first things’ first, he went back to get the flowers and designed it as he tied a pretty red lace into it like the usual before sneaking in Wanna One’s dressing room and left the bouquet in there while holding one of the lavender flower and hid it to his bag again. But as he went back, the rehearsal was about to begin and he just lost the chance to relax.

And after all of the hell they’ve been through, the day 1 of their rehearsal had come to an end. Most of them are already collapsing on the floor while he can’t stop shivering and trying to catch his breath as he approached Euiwoong that was startled as he saw his hyung’s state.

“Euiwoong-ah, I’m so tired. I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.. I’m so tired..” Hyungseob murmured as he closed his eyes and Euiwoong immediatelly called one of their staff to assist Hyungseob to their van.

Euiwoong was still surprised on what happened, he is now sure that his hyung is hiding something. He looked a lot weaker and lifeless, his smiles aren’t that genuine and he can see sadness on the older’s eyes. He went back to the room as he took both of their bags and was about to leave when Woojin called him and asked for Hyungseob’s number. 

But as he was about to enter the van, he noticed a flower inside Hyungseob’s bag which made him wonder. Hyungseob is definitely not fond of flowers, but why is he keeping a flower on his bag? As he went inside, Hyungseob was already awake but he can notice the older’s complexion and the way he breathes.

“Hyung, you might be keeping secrets but if it is about your health, please don’t.” He stated as he sighed, “By the way, Woojin asked for your number so I gave it.”

“W-Woojin?” Euiwoong noticed that the older’s voice was too raspy.

“Yes. He looked really worried about you that time..” He said as he noticed how his hyung’s face had grimaced.

Hyungseob looked at his phone as it vibrated and he felt himself blushed as he saw a message from a certain person that made his heart flutter in all of the sudden. All of the pain had been ignored as happiness were all that the boy can feel for now. 

‘ From: ---------
Hi hyung. This is Woojinie~ (' w')/ I've heard that you're not feeling well. Please rest, hyung. We still have an another rehearsal soon. Fighting! 

P.S. I can't reply often but I hope that you’re alright. I was really worried hyung, take care of yourself! (o > w<)o I’ll treat you some snacks soon.’

He sighed as he began to type a reply for the younger boy  “This isn’t bad at all.”

“What?” Euiwoong looked at him but Hyungseob just smiled which made the younger shivered, “Hyung, you’re quite creepy today.”

“Maybe..” Hyungseob just shrugged as he click the send button.

‘To: ----------
Thank you, Woojin. I’ll be anticipating those snacks soon.’

‘To: --------
Park Woojin, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. But you don’t have to worry, I will still fight. I won’t go down without a fight. You’re the only one, I’ll devote myself to you and only you. I can’t think of any other person that I’ll love like this.. it’s fine for me to be your bestfriend. I’ll be adoring you in a corner, in a silent and calm way. I’ll always love you.. I’m always here for you. ’

But Hyungseob just deleted the message he was typing and looked through the window, still thinking of the boy he loves despite the other not being aware of it. After all, Park Woojin should not be aware..