CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

final

Can you hear me?

She felt a hand gently tap her on the side of her hair, and her pillows grew warm, and less fabric. Soojung slowly opened her eyes. It was all white, but it was no hospital bed. Instead, she felt as if the world around her consisted of bright white light. Where was she? Soojung’s eyes wandered, then she tried to raise her head to see where, or rather who she was with, but someone silenced her.

‘Shh,’ it said, and Soojung obliged, eyes restless.

‘It’s…’

‘Yeah,’ the voice resonated as if they were in a different kind of dimension. ‘It’s me,’ she said. Soojung opened to say something but clasped them instead and fixed her head just above the other’s s.

Soojung realized the lack of sound as her ears pressed against the girl’s chest. ‘I can’t hear your heartbeat,’ she said.

‘Of course you can’t,’ she giggled. ‘It’s long gone,’

‘Am I dead?’ she asked, feeling something clogged inside .

‘No,’ the girl put a hand on Soojung’s chest this time, and Soojung could feel her own pulse emanating inside her ribs. She wrapped another arm, this time around Soojung’s waist.

‘Then, this is all a dream.’ Soojung said sadly, closing her eyes.

‘You were saved from one too. From a bad dream,’

‘But I couldn’t save you,’ Soojung whispered.

‘Nothing could,’ the girl replied. ‘But I’m fine, as long as you are too.’

‘I don’t want to wake up,’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’ll disappear.’

‘I won’t,’ she said. ‘You won’t see me, but I’ll be there.’ She assured Soojung. ‘You saved yourself. You did it, Soojung. You’re a hero.’ Her 15-year old tone was casual and ringed of high school anticipation. At least her youth lived on. ‘You better make yourself a medal.’

‘You know you’re the real hero here.’

‘Maybe.’ She smiled. ‘But from now on, it has to be you.’

‘But if it wasn’t for you or Jongin, or Rei-‘

‘That’s why they’re there.’ She interrupted her. ‘That’s why I’m here. We chose to be here, with you, because you matter. That’s why you can see me now – because I matter to you.’

Soojung opened her eyes.

‘I better say goodbye then.’

‘Yeah. Say hi to Jongin for me, will you?’ the warmth that cradled Soojung’s body reduced to ordinary air and Soojung returned to the warmth of her dorm room. It was silent now and empty. As she glanced around what had been partly her home and to the luggage bags lined by her bed, she smiled.

She looked at her room one last time before opening the door to see Jongin waiting for her.

‘You look handsome.’ She noted the graduation robe he was wearing.

‘Oh, shut up.’ He tore his gaze. ‘This is so not me.’ He complained.

‘You’re just nervous you got top 20.’

‘Eh, it’s nothing.’

‘If you say so.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Let’s go, my mum’s already waiting for me downstairs. I need to introduce you to her.’ She pulled Jongin’s hand.

‘She’s going to think I’m your boyfriend.’

‘As if.’

The main hall was flooding with students and parents alike. The air was more cheery, light-hearted and almost flowery.

‘Boy, I can’t believe they’ll be gone next year.’ Kyungsoo crossed his arms. Sehun was toggling with the numerous functions on Kyungsoo’s DSLR, taking several test shots at the seniors, called onto the stage one by one to receive their high school diploma.

‘It’ll be only us three.’

‘And then it’ll be our turn to graduate.’ Rei pulled off her shoes and stood on her seat.

‘Do you mind? Be a little careful. You just got out of hospital.’ Sehun nagged her in an angry whisper.

‘It was a false call, and even the doctor said I was alright. I played volleyball fine last night too.’ she craned her neck. ‘Jongin looks so shy up there.’ She giggled.

Chanyeol took the floor to convey a speech as the school president, a form of farewell speech to close the last day of his school year. He was welcomed by a loud round of applause and cries, Baekhyun’s being the loudest of them all.

‘This is going to be the last time I speak up here, probably.’ A red tint rose to his cheeks when he caught Baekhyun glowing with pride among the seated. ‘It’s been a very eventful year. I think all of you agree a lot of things have happened. Some of them were weird, some scared us, some were fun but all of it was memorable.’ He looked to the crowd and a few gave supporting cries to him. ‘I want to dedicate this speech to everyone who fought something and fought till the end, to everyone who might have lost something or found something new. I know a lot of us won’t see each other after this, but that’s just how life works. I hope whatever life has to offer to each of us, we’ll make the best out of it.’ He scanned his eyes across the hall one last time. ‘That’s it from me. I love you all.’ He gestured kisses and threw them to the crowd, who enthusiastically tried to catch it and yelled even louder as Chanyeol walked down the stage.

From the back, Kyungsoo watched these people stand on a line separating one time phase from the next, like a train stuck in the middle of the rail track from one point to another, humming to life and slowly but surely to arrive at the station ahead.

Maybe he was standing on that line too.

Maybe everyone in the entirety of the school was, or the universe, although some would remain where they were and it was less than clearer to people like him – time still moved.

He knew another day, he would learn of another secret. Some days, it would be dark out there when he pulled the curtains, and on some days it would be so bright he would barely be able to open his eyes.

But for what may come, today was the day the seven of them were all alright.

‘Guys!’ Soojung called out to the three. ‘Pictures! Come on!’ she urged them.

They all ran out of the school and into the sun, the robes of the four flapping behind them like wings.

The sky looked clearer today, or perhaps it only appeared so because Kyungsoo never thought to look up. Oh well, he would look up today and bathe in the golden summer sun and smile.

They all did.

Yes.

They will all be alright.