chapter 13

how fast people change

Soojung had an odd combination of confusion and exhaustion on her face when she sat down at their favourite area in the library. She felt relieved to find Rei there too, with an open book in front of her, yet for once, she looked out of focus. Soojung slumped down, then sighed before spreading an arm on the desk and resting her head against it.

‘You too?’ Rei asked. Soojung nodded weakly.

‘Me, too what?’ she looked up.

‘Don’t feel like eating with the boys?’

Soojung raised her head and pushed her hands against her cheeks before putting them down and sighing. ‘Chanyeol looked for me,’ she said.

‘What for?’ Rei closed her book. Soojung looked hesitant to answer, but for some reason she wanted to share it with someone she trusted. It all happened this morning, when she was in class early waiting for first period. Jongin had not showed up yet; he was not the type to show up early anyway.

Chanyeol appeared at the back entrance of Soojung’s classroom and had called her to talk somewhere privately. Of course, Soojung entertained him. He had a panicky look about his eyes, and Soojung wondered what was going on. He seemed just fine last night, even with Baekhyun.

‘This might sound dumb, but I want to ask a girl.’

Soojung crossed her arms, waiting for him to bring up whatever it was that was bothering him.

‘Can a guy get pregnant?’ it was not a question she expected at all, and Chanyeol could see the way she felt about it by the way she tightened both her brows. He half-regretted coming to her in the first place but he felt too lost mentally he needed to let it out too.

‘Why?’ Is Baekhyun-‘

‘No!’ he snapped in a whisper. ‘Okay, please don’t tell him I asked you this. I am just really, really curious.’ He sounded and looked desperate, glancing around as if he was scared that he would get caught.

Soojung kept her gaze on him. ‘Chanyeol,’ she called. He turned back to her. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

Chanyeol sighed. ‘I think he threw up last night,’ he said.

‘Men can vomit, in case you don’t know.’

‘I know! It’s just-‘ he stopped, biting his lip and scratching the back of his head. Soojung did not see the point of his question.

‘I’m going to need more than that,’ she demanded.

‘Okay well, I sometimes go the restroom after him to check on him because he always takes a long time in there which is weird. And I always hear him, you know-‘

‘Vomiting?’

‘Yeah.’ He whispered. ‘A lot,’ he said. ‘Like, what if-‘ the look in his eyes really suggested he believe there was a possibility someone with a male ia be able to conceive.

‘Well, if he is a transgender.’ Soojung shrugged.

‘He is?’ Chanyeol looked genuinely surprised.

‘I don’t know, Chanyeol. I’m not the one having with him,’ she replied, all too cunningly. Chanyeol put a hand to out of instant reflex. She pulled it away. ‘Observe, then Google it up.’ She looked as if she was frustrated with his questions. ‘Or, you know. Ask him?’ there was sarcasm in her tone.

‘You know I can’t do that,’ he said. The bell rang indicating the start of first period. Soojung walked in reverse, away from Chanyeol.

‘Communication is key to a good relationship,’ she said, and not in a manner that she wanted to give a genuine advice, but rather to make a clear-cut point. Chanyeol sighed, he was not sure how to face Baekhyun. He had deliberately left for class early because he did not know what to say to him without the absurd possibility of him being pregnant hovering in his mind like vultures around a carcass.

And now that Soojung brought up the possibility of him being transgender did not help the issue either. He hoped Baekhyun would not notice.

‘Vomiting?’ Rei echoed in a quiet voice.

Soojung nodded. ‘So what do you think? Is he a transgender?’

Rei’s mind was drifting farther away from Soojung’s assumed possibilities. In fact, she could not look at it that way anyway. She recollected her observations, evaluated them to see if they were any use or related to Soojung’s story, and could only come up with another theory. Rei shook her head.

‘No? Hm,’ Soojung thought about it. ‘What about you? What’s your story this morning?’

Rei’s story was similar in that someone had a question for her, only it was Sehunander, not Chanyeol. He had been staring at her ever since he entered class and Rei had noticed, but not called him out for it. But after half an hour into self-studying period she could still feel as if he had something to release from his lips. She sighed.

‘What is it?’ she asked, without looking at him.

‘Huh?’

Rei did not say anything further, merely waiting for him to bring the conversation further. Finally, he dragged his chair next to hers. ‘Can someone turn gay?’ he said rather bluntly. Rei looked up from her book.

‘Yes,’ she nodded, wondering if Sehun was asking about a particular someone she also had suspicions on. ‘Did something happen last night?’ she asked.

Sehun looked at her, wondering if he should tell her, then wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in so that he could whisper to her. He had gone to the restroom after drinking too much Coke, running like a madman because he did not want to miss out on the movie either.

He had ran out frantically from the movie theatre to the nearest restroom he could find.

‘What’s with the boys?’ Soojung had asked, noting the fact that before Sehun, both Kyungsoo and Jongin had went out too. Rei suspected something, but did not want to be bothered by it so she had said nothing.

‘Is Kyungsoo okay?’ Soojung had leaned into Rei’s ear. Rei only shrugged. He looked oblivious ever since he got into the car. She wondered whether it was anything she had said, but noticed where his eyes were. It had definitely nothing to do with the conversation Rei and Sehun had.

Sehun rushed to wash his hands after doing his business, wanting to get back into the movie theatre, but something made him stop in his tracks. He heard loud noises in one of the cubicles. He did not want to care and was ready to storm out, but then he heard a loud groan.

It was not as if it was his first time hearing such inappropriate sounds in the bathroom, except that he recognized that voice. He yanked the paper towels and ran out back into the theatre, looking oddly pale and disoriented; almost as if he had seen a ghost. It startled Rei and Soojung, who, from both of Sehun’s side exchanged curious glances.

‘Are you sure?’ Rei asked him. Sehun nodded.

‘What? You don’t think so? You mean, you’ve never-‘ Rei knew what he was going to ask. You’ve never suspected anything?

They were interrupted by a loud sound of their teacher clearing . They both looked up to see her looking at them both. Sehun pulled his arm and returned to his seat. ‘I know you maintain exceptional grades, Cherron, but I would prefer you to keep your romances out of class, hm?’ she said, much to Rei barely listening to her. Rei pressed her fingers to her lips. Sehun on the other hand could feel his cheeks heating up and only hung his head low when some of their classmates glanced at them both.

Good thing he cannot read me, Rei thought. She left class early and hurried to the library, to avoid Sehun. She did not know why either but she appreciated the peace and did not want him questioning her any further. ‘Kyungsoo?’ Soojung was just as baffled. ‘I thought he had a thing for you,’

‘Stupid crush,’ Rei shrugged, not in the slightest offended. Kyungsoo was as obvious as a mannequin on display. She knew the glances would stop as soon as it started, but of course did not foresee a change in uality.

‘Who do you think was in the restroom with him?’ Soojung asked. Rei shot her an obvious look.

‘Who was Kyungsoo following,’ she had a sly look on her face. Soojung’s eyes turned wide. She put her hands over her face.

‘Oh my God,’ she groaned then began massaging her forehead. Rei watched her get frustrated over the hassle that has happened in the span of last night. ‘Are boys always like this?’

‘People are complex,’ Rei grinned, hunching a shoulder.

‘Still,’ Soojung raised her head. ‘Kyungsoo and Jongin,’ she tapped the desk. ‘Now that is interesting,’

As a close friend, of course Soojung knew of Jongin’s active ual activities, or at least his taste for one-night flings. He could not go a session of selling without flirting with some of his customers, even if they were not in the spectrum of his uality. It was just his way of things; if it did him gain, he would do it.

Still, Kyungsoo did not give him any gain, and she never thought Kyungsoo would be the type to fall into these kinds of temporary joys. He always seemed like the type who would bring roses for the person he loves; romantically traditional, if Soojung could name it. ‘Do you think they’re together?’

‘Doubt it,’ Rei said. ‘I think Kyungsoo is…exploring something.’ She chose her words carefully.

‘With Jongin as his tour guide?’ Soojung felt her head hurt even more. ‘Oh, boy.’

‘Hm,’ Rei stood up and excused herself. ‘I’m going back to class. See you,’

Rei had calmed her thoughts. In a way, she wanted to laugh and shake her head at the same time. People really are amusing, she thought, but then there was also the issue about Baekhyun. It was mind-boggling, how Chanyeol had not suspected a thing after so long, when Rei knew Chanyeol spends most of his nights in Baekhyun and Jongin’s room – a reason as to why Jongin always has to shelter with Kyungsoo (another thought for Rei’s mind). Baekhyun must either be really crafty at hiding, or plain lucky. Either way, she was sure of her answer.

She headed to the seniors’ academic floor, finding all sorts of drama in the typical high school hallway, but she kept her eyes forward and found Jongin where she predicted he would be; alone at one of the bridges that joined East and South wing, right next to his classroom.

He was looking beyond the ledge, the soft wind in his ebony black hair and a canned coffee in his hand.  Rei joined him gazing out at the cool horizon. ‘Are you here to ask me about last night too?’ Jongin asked.

‘I’m not as curious as Soojung is,’

‘Not curious, or you already know?’ he said, smiling. ‘So what’s bothering the smartest kid in school?’ he asked. Rei shot him a smile of thanks, then exhaled.

‘Baekhyun,’ she merely said.

‘What’s with him?’ Jongin did not expect such a name to be raised, but then if he could expect what Rei was to ask then it would have not come from Rei.

Rei thought of how she wanted to word her thoughts. ‘Has he always been conscious about himself? I mean the way he looks and all.’

‘Ah,’ Jongin see where she was coming towards. A little, at least. ‘I don’t know when it started, but him doing modelling is definitely aggravating it. Chanyeol said he started early last year.’

‘So it’s been more than a year and a half.’

Jongin nodded. ‘And, yes, he does look unhealthy.’ He glanced at Rei, a smile that showed pity and slight sadness on his lips. ‘I saw him without a shirt on.’ He cleared his throat.

Rei remembered clearly the changes in his diet. He started off eating only meats and protein, cutting off any source of heavy carbohydrates such as bread. Then he stopped eating any sort of animal meat. Now, she does not remember the last time Baekhyun had a plate of food in front of him. She knew not to be optimistic or hopeful, since she could only speculate so accurately.

Baekhyun lost a considerable amount of weight and even dyed his hair in the process. He spent a bit of money on clothes, would sneak out of school grounds to go for sales, even got a piercing when he saw how good Sehun looked with his cartilage cross piercing.

He never made comments about people before but now it was always, ‘How does he look like that?’ , ‘I think I gained weight,’ even comments directed at the others. ‘How do you eat so much but look so good?’ is often what he says to Sehun. Rei noticed that sometimes when one of them does not eat, Baekhyun would follow suit, an uncomfortable look in his eyes, it was almost as if he was pressured to compete in a starvation contest.

‘Have you ever noticed him going to the restroom? After he eats? When he eats, that is.’ She asked. Jongin tightened his brows, sending his thoughts far back to when he first met Baekhyun and now. Of course, there had been notable changes.

When he first met Baekhyun, he was a lean boy of 16, with black hair and honest black eyes. Even then, Jongin knew he was a fashionable boy, with an innocent excitement for the wonders beyond his world. He took an attraction to the city life of Seoul, and had a dream of becoming a model. He had confidence, a unique kind that made him stand out.

But now, even with a brighter hair colour and trendy outfits, Baekhyun seemed to have lost the vibe he came here with. It was as if what he had expected of this new world he was exploring was nothing more but a hidden, darker reality.

‘What are you trying to say?’

Rei was silent for several seconds. ‘Chanyeol said he’s heard him, throw up several times.’

Jongin’s eyes began to wander. ‘You mean-‘

Rei nodded, looking at him in the eyes. ‘Chanyeol takes him out to eat a lot, doesn’t he?’

Jongin sighed. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I can’t say, which is why I’m asking you.’ Rei said. ‘But that’s what I see.’

‘What do we do, then?’

Rei shook her head. ‘I don’t know,’ she fiddled with her fingers. ‘It’s worrying,’

‘Maybe we should tell Chanyeol,’

‘No,’ Rei shook her head. ‘He’ll…act rash.’ She reminded him. ‘Besides I can’t say a 100 percent I know what’s going on,’

‘What’s the worst that can happen to him?’ Jongin asked.

‘Quite a few,’

‘Could he die?’

‘If it’s very extreme,’ she nodded grimly. The bell then rang indicating the end of lunch hour.

‘So what do we do?’

‘We’ll have to think about it,’ Rei said as she excused herself. ‘Oh, and Jongin?’ she turned around. ‘You do like him,’ she smiled then turned back around.