A/N: Check out my tumblr for other drabbles and fics @ba3kkie 

1 year ago

You turned to face him, your hands trailed along the side of his face, brushing away the stray hairs on his forehead.  A tear ran down your cheek, as you shakily whispered:

“I love you enough to know that I can stay in your heart, but not your life.”

You suppressed the sniffles of your sobbing and dressed yourself, leaving a note on the bedside table before letting yourself out of the apartment.

11 months ago

‘54 missed calls and 89 messages unread’ as you stared down at the notification, it was all from him and you knew it, however you could never bring yourself to open or return any of it.

You opened the windows of your small apartment, and took a deep breath of the cleaner air, trying to desperately convince yourself that moving to the suburbs was the best to make him forget you. Except, you packed up and left Seoul before he even had a chance to wake up next to you, which would probably make him resent you instead, but either way you still felt it had to be done.

Your favourite food truck pulled up in front of your apartment complex, bringing your stomach mind  back to reality, you stuck your head out the window, ready to shout your order to the ajusshi down there, but the whiff of food sent you lunging for the toilet bowl instead of the truck downstairs.

                                                         xxx

You paced in front of the aisle at the pharmacy, reaching your hand out, but quickly retracting it afterwards, this continued until the pharmacist had stood beside you. “Was it planned?” She asked softly, looking at you with empathy filled eyes and all you could say was a soft “No.”, to which she reached for a pregnancy test and handed it to you “ The toilet is behind the door to the right.” she gestured to you “I know you’re scared, I was too at that age, but in all honesty, my child was the best thing that happened to me.” She gave you a soft pat on the back and returned to the counter to tend to another customer.

You sat there in the toilet, waiting for the longest and most nerve wreaking 5 minutes of your existence.

“It’s alright honey, you can get through this, I’ll be here for you.” the pharmacist brought you into a hug, somehow you managed to find comfort with a stranger, who made you felt you still had someone on your side. 

9 months ago

‘60 missed calls and 92 unread messages’

His debut posters were all over the street, advertisements on every channel, interviews with every broadcasting company. He was already a star before he even shinned, yet seeing his success pained me, it hurt not to be with him, it hurt I can’t tell him about the pea growing within me, but it hurts the most to be able to see past his facade and see his tired eyes, skinner frame, basically his overworked self.

“Hey sweet pea, mommy will take care of you, I promise.” You placed your hand over your slightly bloated looking stomach and rubbed circles with your palm while the tears streamed down your face. 

                                                         xxx

“Come have some porridge, (y/n) !” The pharmacist- Irene called, “You have to eat something, you’ve been throwing up all morning.” You felt so sick that day, leaving you no choice but to call Irene for something to sooth your stomach, whom instead of just dropping the goods and leaving, had decided to instead nurse you back to health, which you were eternally grateful of.

While you were taking small sips of hot liquid, Irene popped the question “Are you planning to tell the father?” her eyes still fixed on her meal. You choked on what you just managed to swallow, but recovered by gulping some water, “No, he doesn’t need more things to worry about now, it’ll only ruin his image.” you whispered the last part, “ You make him sound like a big shot idol.” Irene chuckled.All that met the joke was silence. Irene’s jaw dropped, the lack of witty response and the eye twitch you do when you’re trying to keep a secret proved her joke hit the bullseye.

The silence that filled the room made you crack, hormones taking over your body, you became a disaster on legs, crying, hitting your chest, screaming, laughing at yourself all at the same time, if Irene didn’t know any better, she would think you’re mental. After a few tries, she was able to get the gist of your whole situation from the word salad coming from your mouth, “Oh honey, that must have been hard keeping it all to yourself, there there let it all out.” she held you in an embrace, her hand running soothly up and down your back until you stopped crying.

8 months ago

You were curled up on the couch that day, watching his first live music show in the comfort of your out of town apartment where he didn’t know you resided. The moment his voice reached your ears, you were teleported back to first time you heard him sing, the same voice that brought you to reach for that door, it drew you to him and the rest was history, but here you were, alone.  

Suddenly, his voice stopped abruptly and was replaced by screams, your eyes trying to focus on him, but all you saw were crew members huddled around where he was supposed to be, two men rushed in with a stretcher, it all happened so quickly, you knew it was him on that stretcher, so many things ran through your mind, you felt so helpless.

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the remote, you turned off the tv and went straight to your bed. The covers pulled over your head as you cried his name “Baek…please be okay.”, you felt pathetic, you wanted to rush to his side, to stop avoiding him, to tell him he has a child on the way and that you love him, but that would be too selfish of you, asking him to risk everything for you. You out after all those hours of crying, to be woken up by sound of your phone vibrating against the bedside table, it was already the next morning.

‘87 missed calls and 113 unread messages’ 

It was an unknown number, and on a normal day you would have ignored it, but something compelled you to answer it this time. You brought the device to your ear, letting out a breath before saying,

“Hello?”

There was no answer.

“Hello, anyone there?” 

You sighed into the device, ready to put it down.

“(y/n), it’s me” It was soft, so soft it should be not audible, yet you knew your name only rolled off his tongue that way. Your breathing hitched, your brain telling you to hang up this instant, however you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, you’ve avoided all those calls so you wouldn’t have to go through this. 

“Don’t hang up please.” his voice sounded like he was begging, his plea tugged at your heart as well as your tear glands, it was another mental breakdown waiting to happen. 

“I miss you.” he confessed and there went all your efforts of not breaking down on the phone, “I m-miss” your reply was broken with sobs “you-u too” .

“I have something to tell you, (y/n).” His voice now weaker. “Meet me at the roof top at 9 tonight, I won’t leave until you come.” There was barely enough time for you to register what he said, next thing you know the call was dropped. 

7:30 pm

You stared at yourself in the mirror, hidden beneath the oversized sweater was a baby bump, “Sweet pea, we’re going to meet daddy now, mommy is a little scared but whatever happens I still love you.” placing your hands on the bump.

You opted to hail a taxi to avoid the afterwork crowd in the subway, the ride was long but the scenery outside the window calmed you, from lone street lights to endless rows of bright signs and flashy billboards, you know you were already in the city by the sight of things.

The roof top was a place you always seek refuge at, because Baekhyun was always there, it was his secret spot that he shared with you. You arrived at the run down building, then proceeded to climb the back stairs until the highest floor, which was much harder being 4 months pregnant.

Looking down at your phone, you were a half hour early, but as you took your last step, you saw him sitting there on the bench both of you used to lay on, his frame looking so much smaller than it did a few months ago.

He must have heard your foot steps, and immediately got up and turned to you, he closed the distance, leaving a foot’s distance between you two, he stared into your eyes. You knew those eyes were asking you to answer all the question marks you left, but you were prepared to not give in to emotions for his sake or maybe it was for yours.

“What did you want to tell me?” you said emotionlessly, hoping that he would get the hint.

“Let’s run away together.”