“Ya!” A thunderous crash jerked Seunghyun awake. His head throbbed in agony. There was a groan and Seunghyun was aware of a warmth pressed into his chest. Youngbae. Sure enough, he looked down to find Youngbae snuggled into his chest. Seunghyun snorted. “Ya! You lushes get up.”

Seunghyun looked up to see his mother standing at the top of the stairs, ranting. “I go out for one night and come back to this. You are grown men. Get Up!” She disappeared but continued her monologue at full volume. “Drunk and passed out on the cold floor like a couple of children. A mother can’t even go out in peace without the children acting like children. Get up!” She shouted down the stairs again, then disappeared to vent her frustration on the pots and pans.

“Make her stop,” Youngbae groaned.

“Have I ever gotten my mother to stop anything?”

There was a loud crash of something falling. “Who stacked these dishes!?!” Seunghyun’s mother yelled at them.

Youngbae groaned and buried his head under Seunghyun’s arm. “I’m going to be sick.”

“She’s making breakfast,” Seunghyun whispered ominously.

“Oh no.” Youngbae shuddered.

“And we’re going to have to eat it.”

“Give me that bottle.” Youngbae pointed a finger without lifting his head. Confused Seunghyun looked around to find a half drunk bottle of wine beside them, a remnant of their revels.

“Great idea,” Seunghyun said and reached for the bottle. “Guests first.” He handed the bottle to Youngbae.

“Dong Youngbae!” Seunghyun’s mother shrieked down at them. “I would have expected as much from my son, but you too?! Put that bottle down and get up here now!”

Youngbae pulled his mouth off the bottle and winced. “Yes, mother.” His face scrunched in pain as he rolled to stand.

“Stop right there, don’t you dare,” Seunghyun’s mother said to Seunghyun. He stopped, bottle poised halfway to his mouth. “Get up here and help me.”

“Yes, mom,” Seunghyun sighed.

Seunghyun’s mother clucked and nagged at them, ensuring that every dish was slammed down just shy of too-hard. Folding her arms she glared at them over twin bowls of soup and rice with a smattering of side dishes. “Eat,” she commanded.

“Yes, mother,” they said in unison. Exasperated, she rolled her eyes and stalked from the kitchen. Seunghyun raised an eyebrow and smirked at Youngbae as soon as his mother was out of sight. “Thank you, mom,” they chimed again, together. She left, giving the door a slam full of judgment.

“Ugh, I cannot eat this,” Youngbae whined and pressed his head to the cool countertop.

Their phones chimed in unison and Youngbae flopped a hand up to where he’d left his the night before. It beeped sadly, almost dead but alive enough to display a text from Mama Choi. “Eat, everything, you bad children.”

“You know, this is really good on my stomach,” Seunghyun said and Youngbae wanted to smack the cheeriness out of his voice.

“Shut up and eat,” Youngbae grumped. He half-heartedly mumbled a prayer then tried to chew and slurp his food but gently, lest he anger the beavers building dams in his brain.

The silence between them was warm, companionable. Seunghyun smiled to himself as he ate. It had been a good night and he could tell Youngbae agreed. For all his griping, he was humming softly as he chewed. He only did that when content. Youngbae winced in pain and groaned as a neighbor, somewhere, was rude enough to start a leafblower. Ok, maybe Youngbae wasn’t completely content, but he was happy.

Seunghyun kicked sideways at Youngbae’s swinging feet and they smiled at one another over their next bite.

“Leave the dishes for the maid,” Seunghyun warned as Youngbae took his last bite.

“Fine, Hyung.” Youngbae stood and leaned against the counter, stretching his back and calves.

Seunghyun rested a hand between his shoulder blades. “You gonna be ok?”

Youngbae hummed a yes. “Gonna walk home and clear my head though. I’ll get the car later.”

“We should do this again.”

“Yeah.” Youngbae paused and took in the mood in the air. Something felt different this morning. Some unknown, unnoticed cloud between him and Seunghyun seemed to have skittered away in the night. Youngbae felt easy. Calm. Before last night, he’d never would have said there was tension between them. Yet now, out from under it, in what was possibly the first time ever, he could feel where it had been. “Yeah, this was nice,” he said, mostly to himself.

“Again tonight?” Seunghyun asked. He could never have too much of a good thing.

Youngbae gaped at the pile of empty bottles overflowing the trash bin then turned the look to Seunghyun.

“Ok, point,” Seunghyun conceded. “Sunday?” That was four whole days away.

Youngbae’s smile was bright and full. “Yeah, Sunday.”

Seunghyun saw Youngbae out then returned to sprawl on his bed, still pristine from the day before. He took care to rumple it completely as he curled into a mass of pillows and sheets. The evening had not gone quite as he expected. He’d never intended to be so raw about his pain. Truth told, he hadn’t even realized how deeply Youngbae’d hurt him when he and Jiyong broke up. But it had all come out.

If he’d been sober he may have panicked but drunk, he’d just let it happen and somehow they’d come out unscathed.

He closed his eyes to remember the look on Youngbae’s face when he apologized and another little bit of his soul warmed as it healed. Scars he’d never even known existed sloughed away to leave it whole, this new version of a relationship with Youngbae. He hoped it lasted.

Sunday afternoon rolled around and Youngbae found himself pacing his new home, weaving through piles of still unopened boxes. He was supposed to meet Seunghyun but he felt unsure. Had it been an off-hand comment like ‘we should do it’ but never actually do? Or had they made actual plans? He stood to prod a toe at a particularly accommodating box edge.

He should probably text Seunghyun to see if they were still on. He hesitated though. He’d feel stupid if he’d misunderstood. The phone rang and he jumped, fumbling for it and just barely keeping it from crashing to the ground.

“Yeah,” he said, not even looking at who was calling.

“Hey you coming over or what? You want pizza? I got a red that would go good with pizza, or maybe we make ramen?”

“Hyung?” Youngbae asked.

“Yeah, course, so what time you coming?”

Apparently he hadn’t misread any signal. “Uh, yeah, I can come over.” The box atop the pile he had been kicking at lost its fight against gravity and toppled to the ground.

“Ya, you ok? What was that?” Seunghyun shouted.

“Yeah, fine, a box just fell.”

“Box?” Seunghyun asked. “You haven’t unpacked yet?” The incredulity in Seunghyun’s voice was really rich considering Youngbae knew it had taken Seunghyun’s mother and sister finally giving up nagging and setting up Seunghyun’s house for him to ‘unpack’. Oh, Seunghyun had ordered plenty of furniture and ‘designed’ his little heart out but heaven help him if he had to actually clean.

“Yeah,” Youngbae answered, filling his voice with as much irony as possible. It was lost on Seunghyun.

“Yah, want me to just come over with food and help you unpack?”

“Uh.” Youngbae’s brain stuttered at Seunghyun actually offering to… work.

“Yeah, I’ll be over in an hour, let me shower and .”

“Oh-kay?”

Seunghyun hung up first. Whelp, looked like drinks would be at Youngbae’s. Problem was, he had no drinks. He shuffled to his foyer to haul on his shoes for a soju run.

He returned just as he saw Seunghyun’s car turning onto his street, the madman had actually driven for once. Youngbae rushed in and ran to open his garage door.

“Made it!”

“I thought you said an hour!” Youngbae said, panting from running across his house.

“I showered fast,” Seunghyun said with a shrug. He dumped his bags on the kitchen island and sauntered into Youngbae’s house. “This is nice.”

“It’s a mess.”

“I’m not talking about your stuff I’m talking about the space.” Seunghyun wove in between the stacks of boxes, eyeing the walls.

“Oh,” Youngbae said, standing lamely and looking up at the ceiling and walls, trying to see what Seunghyun saw. He knew he’d liked the house but he suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. What on earth constituted ‘nice space’? “Yeah I liked it.”

Seunghyun took in the view of the river, one of the primary reasons Youngbae’d been attracted to the place. “So, what are you going to do with it?” He asked.

“It?” Youngbae asked. Seunghyun wandered away from the windows back towards the kitchen, stopping in front of the hallway to the bedrooms.

“Yeah, what are you gonna do with it?” He repeated.

“I dunno, I brought my stuff.”

“From your old place.”

“Yeah. Do-” Taeyang’s eyes met Seunghyun’s. “Do you want a tour?” Seunghyun took the invitation and disappeared down the hallway. Youngbae followed behind, telling himself to stop feeling so insecure. There was nothing wrong with his place.

“So there’s a few bedrooms back here.” Youngbae flicked on lights as he went. “Bathroom,” he said with a gesture.

Seunghyun walked into each room, silently observing, avoiding the boxes stacked in the center of each and eyeing the few furniture pieces scattered about. It really seemed unlike everything he knew about Youngbae to see every room of the house in suspended disarray.

“And this will be my room,” Youngbae finished. He looked at Seunghyun, body taut with anticipation. Seunghyun had said it was ‘nice’ but -

Seunghyun took in the large room and expansive view. He noted the Youngbae sized space that had been carved out of the bags and boxes piled on the bed then regarded Youngbae. He was standing, arms loose by his side but his eyes gave him away. He was hanging on Seunghyun’s forthcoming verdict. “Bae, I said I liked it.”

Abashed, Youngbae looked away. “I know.”

Seunghyun smiled and threw an arm around Youngbae’s shoulders. “Food?”

Youngbae laughed and let himself be led to the kitchen. He rummaged through the bags that Seunghyun had brought. “Ya, all you brought was wine.”

“No,” Seunghyun said and turned to open the boxes on the kitchen counter at random. “Keep looking.”

Youngbae found it. “Ramen, are you serious?”

Seunghyun shot him finger guns then kept rummaging. “Yah, where’s your ramen pot?”

“Oh, yeah.” Youngbae moved to find the right box and retrieved the familiar yellow pot. “Here,” he said, then he realized what he was doing and tried to take the pot back.

“I can make ramen,” Seunghyun chided. “Hyung will cook for you, ok?” They needed alcohol, he decided. Youngbae was way too on edge, he’d hoped they’d made more progress than this last time.

“Bottle opener?” He asked, nodding to his bags as he filled the pot from the sink.

“Yeah, moment,” Youngbae said and began digging through a box on the floor as Seunghyun lit the stove. Sanding, he proudly held up his corkscrew and pair of chopsticks. Passing the chopsticks to Seunghyun, he went ahead and popped open a bottle then turned to hung for his wine glasses.

“Nah, just give it,” Seunghyun said. He reached and grabbed the bottle from Youngbae and took a drink. Normally he had to be drunk to skip letting a bottle properly breathe but desperate times- Youngbae rolled his eyes then took the bottle back to take his own gulp. They stood, side by side watching the pot not-boil.

“You can tell me if you hate the place,” Youngbae said to the pot then took another drink.

Seunghyun took the bottle with a fraction more force than necessary. “I told you, it’s a really nice place.”

Youngbae grabbed one of the chopsticks from the counter and poked at the water. “Say what you aren’t saying.”

“Your stuff isn’t gonna fit.” Seunghyun had been dying keeping that in. “It’s why you haven’t unpacked yet.”

Youngbae looked up at Seunghyun, confused. “But it’s all here. It all fit.”

“No,” Seunghyun said. “It doesn’t fit. It doesn’t match the space or you - anymore.”

“I just need to spend time thinking about how to set up each room.”

“The nice thing about a new space is you get to fill it with new stuff, leave everything behind and start over fresh, new.” There was a subtext to Seunghyun’s words. He hadn’t meant it to be, but there it was. Jiyong, again. Part of what he’d left behind the last time he’d moved had been everything that reminded him of them.

Youngbae could feel the edges of what Seunghyun was talking about. He wondered if there would ever be a time where Jiyong didn’t hover over them, when they could just be friends, like he’d said on the floor of Seunghyun’s cellar.

“Ya, you wanna help me then?” Youngbae asked.

Seunghyun blinked. He’d lost track of what they’d been talking about, mind wandering almost-forgotten paths.

“Help me set up my place?” Youngbae clarified.

“Oh,” Seunghyun said, then what Youngbae was offering registered and his eyes lit up “Ohhhh.” Seunghyun looked like a kid in a candy store. “Yeah!”

Youngbae couldn’t help but laugh. Seunghyun really did look like a 5 year old just offered all the taffy he could eat. “Yeah, I mean you know about all that stuff. Design, I mean.”

“Yes, yes! I could bring over some of the designer manuals I’ve got.” Seunghyun began naming off names and Youngbae’s eyes glazed over. He hid it with another drink of wine. “I’ll pick out the ones I think fit you and the space. Don’t want it to be too overwhelming. And you just point at the ones you like and we’ll make some boards together, color palette, do you have any ideas? Colors, textures? What kind of lines do you think you’d like? I think smooth clean lines, hard edges would look good.” He turned to look back at the living room. “You’ll want hard and clean with that view, the Han curving all natural and organic. But,” Seunghyun checked himself, “it’s your space.”

Youngbae couldn’t even process the steady stream of words. He tore open the ramen package and dumped the noodles in. “Uh-” He poked at the ramen.

“No decisions now, don’t worry.” Seunghyun looked down to see what Youngbae was doing. “Hey, go away, I said Hyung was cooking.”

Youngbae laughed and handed over the chopsticks. “Fine but I’m taking the wine.” Seunghyun waved him away, grabbing the corkscrew and reaching for the nearest bottle, one for his very own, letting Youngbae take the unaired, inferior bottle. Letting the next bottle air properly, he dumped out the noodle water.

“Sorry,” he said as he plopped the steaming pot onto a potholder on the counter. “No plates, no eggs, just noodles and wine.”

Youngbae smiled then claimed the pot lid from Seunghyun’s hands. “Fine, it’s just how I like it.” Youngbae scooped noodles onto his ‘plate’ then left Seunghyun to pull straight from the bowl. They had to get him chopsticks first, however. When that proved impossible, Seunghyun settled for a large serving fork.

“Hey, seriously, you’ll help me?” Youngbae asked as they ate.

Seunghyun took a long slurp, eyes dancing at Youngbae. He swallowed then patted an imaginary napkin at his mouth before miming folding it on the counter. “I - will help you.”

“Why do I feel like I’m doing you a favor?”

“You paying?” Seunghyun asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“That’s why.” Seunghyun put his fork down. “Hey you got a tv in here?”

“Bedroom,” Youngbae said, and helped himself to what Seunghyun had left behind. Seunghyun leaned back against the counter to wait while Youngbae finished then took the pot, lid and utensils to the sink. “You gonna wash?” Youngbae teased.

“Seunghyun filled the pot with warm water. “Soak.”

“Ya, it doesn’t need to soak,” Youngbae said, and moved to start washing. Seunghyun grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in the opposite direction, back to the bedroom. Youngbae’s stomach gave a little flip as he fought Seunghyun’s pull momentarily and failed. “Hyung,” he snapped.

“Ah, Youngbae you have forever to wash dishes, let's go watch a movie or something.” Seunghyun let go long enough to grab the remaining bags of drinks then resumed pulling.

Youngbae, to his own surprise, let himself be dragged back, grabbing the corkscrew and bag with the rest of the wine as Seunghyun pulled. Seunghyun was a terrible influence.

“Hey, is any of this stuff important?” Seunghyun asked as he pulled Youngbae into the bedroom.

“Uh, no it’s mostly clothes and junk- Hyung!”

Seunghyun had grabbed the comforter under the pile and jerked upwards, depositing everything on the tile floor. He beamed at Youngbae. “See? Now there is room for two.”

Youngbae rolled his eyes and pulled at the robe that partially covered his television. “You are a jerk.”

Seunghyun made a ‘kiss, kiss’ face at him then laid the blanket back over the bed. He threw himself atop it and patted beside himself expectantly.

“Scooch,” Youngbae commanded then sat next to Seunghyun. “Yah, get your slippers off the bed.”

Seunghyun scooted over and kicked off his shoes, leaning back against the headboard with Youngbae. “Remotes?” Seunghyun held out his hand expectantly.

“It’s my house, you know.”

Seunghyun waved his hand, impatient, and Youngbae provided the remotes. They managed to drink through their respective bottles while watching a few entries of a Bond marathon Youngbae had DVRed.

It was getting too late and Seunghyun contemplated sleeping over when he noticed Youngbae drowsing. But it didn’t feel right. They were too old and Youngbae too straight for bed sharing. “Yah, I’m gonna go?”

“Hyung, you can stay,” Youngbae slurred gently. He’d actually been the one to drink the majority of the alcohol that night outdoing Seunghyun two to one. Seunghyun was tempted. They had both slipped down the headboard during the course of the night and Youngbae lay on his side facing Seunghyun. A heavy arm came up to drape over Seunghyun’s chest. “Stay, ‘sok,” Youngbae said, his voice deep gravel.

Seunghyun couldn’t breathe. He’d seen Youngbae sleepy hundreds of times in almost a decade. He’d seen it countless times and yet - he couldn’t breathe as he watched heavy lashes hide Youngbae’s eyes. Youngbae’s cheeks were rough and hairy with new stubble and his arm a heavy weight on his chest, heavy and warm- Seunghyun needed to go.

“Ya, I’m ok. My head’s been clear for an hour. I can get home ok.”

Youngbae whimpered as Seunghyun sat up and threw his legs over the bed, toes hunting for their slippers. Seunghyun fought everything in him to stand. “I’ll see myself out.”

“Ya,” Youngbae said, reaching for him and fingertips snagging a pant-leg. “I’m sorry I’m so awkward with you, hyung,” Youngbae said, “I like us becoming friends, I’ll be better next time.”

Seunghyun turned and patted Youngbae’s hand. “Sleep, Bae, I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon with design books.”

“Thank you, for helping me with the house.”

Youngbae woke the next morning with only a mild hangover. He lifted his head and upgraded the mild hangover to yeah-I-might-still-be-drunk. Strange, he hadn’t thought he’d drunk enough for that. Rolling over, he eyed the empty bottles on his floor. Surely most of those were Seunghyun’s.

He was standing in the shower testing the full capacity of the hot water heater when a knock came at the bathroom door. He flung a hand out in an attempt to break his fall and failed, slamming down hard onto slick tile. Seunghyun’s voice came through the bathroom door. “Bae you okay?”

Trust Seunghyun to wake up like he hadn’t drunk a drop the night before. “Ya, what are you doing here?” Youngbae shouted as he turned off the shower.

“I brought some catalogues,” Seunghyun explained. He had decided to get started decorating Youngbae’s new place right away, apparently.

An hour later Youngbae found himself in a warehouse, rows and rows of couches and armchairs spread before him. Seunghyun had insisted that this would be much better than being sane and never leaving the perfectly fine nest Youngbae’d made on his bed.

Seunghyun had told him to just wander and look and point at what he liked. “Not what you want in your house, just the things you like,” Seunghyun had said. So that’s what he’d done. The first 15 minutes had been stressful meandering. Youngbae had no clue what he was looking for and Seunghyun’s presence was - intimidating. He pointed out with tentative fingers at random, trying to read Seunghyun’s gaze.

“Ya, Bae,” Seunghyun said. “Just point at what you like. That’s it. There isn’t a wrong answer.”

“You sure?”

“I mean, of course there is if you have ty taste,” Seunghyun deadpanned.

Youngbae glared at him. “Jerk.”

“Look, I’m just gonna wander off for a bit. Take pics of what you like.”

Youngbae sighed. “Yeah that works.”

True to his word, Seunghyun disappeared. Another 10 minutes and Youngbae walked back to a chair that seemed to have stuck with him and he snapped a photo of it with his phone. His finger hovered on the trash icon for a moment but before he could delete, it disappeared and the camera appeared again. Well, that was one down. He wandered some more. The second picture was easier and the third even easier.

After an hour Seunghyun returned to Youngbae snapping a shot of a lamp. “You got it?” He asked and Youngbae beamed at him. He’d actually started to enjoy himself.

“Yeah I got a few.” Youngbae pulled up his gallery and scrolled through page after page of photos. “Oh-” He hadn’t realized he’d snapped so many. “Wow, um, I got too many.”

Seunghyun looked over Youngbae’s shoulder at the screen. “No, that’s perfect. Wanna get lunch?”

“Aren’t we gonna-”

Seunghyun cut him off with an arm around his shoulder and steered him towards the door. “Nah, lunch. We’ll look at what you got.”

Youngbae felt - small - tucked under Seunghyun’s arm. The feeling was unsettling. He knew he was short but he rarely actually felt his height. “Oh, okay.”

Over soup and rice Seunghyun flicked through Youngbae’s phone gallery. “These are nice pieces.”

“Yeah you think so?”

“You have a definite style.” Seunghyun said, a mouthful of food obscuring his words. Youngbae fought against useless nagging. “I can see common themes.”

Youngbae shrugged. “Is it good though?”

“I mean it isn’t all my taste but -” he brought up a hand, forestalling Youngbae’s pout “but that’s ok, Bae. There’s no right or wrong.”

“Ok.”

“I mean there is, but-”

Youngbae kicked him under the table and Seunghyun laughed, mouth open and rice stuck to his lip. It was so childlike, the mischievous glint in Seunghyun’s eye infectious. “Hyuuung,” he whined.

“Look there’s some good stuff here. You are drawn to clean lines. That’s a good thing. They will look good and clean, highlighting the organic nature of the river views.” Seunghyun said, all business again but laughter still in his eyes. “Have you thought of a palette?”

“Um.” Pointing at furniture that looked cool was one thing but color.

“Have you considered a monochrome?” Seunghyun threw him a lifeline.

“Monochrome!” Instead of picking a dozen colors he just needed to pick one.

“White, grey, black?”

“Black!” Youngbae said and Seunghyun’s eyes widened.

“Nice, Bae.”

“Thanks,” Youngbae said. Seunghyun seemed impressed and Youngbae almost preened. For all that he was a supposed style icon, the designation had never really settled well on his shoulders. It felt more like rub-off from Jiyong and even Seunghyun himself. It suddenly seemed ridiculously important that Seunghyun be pleased.

They ended their lunch then parted, Youngbae feeling a little unsettled.

“I’ll send some stuff your way,” Seunghyun promised. “Also, think about things that make you happy.”

“Happy?”

“Yeah.” Then Seunghyun headed back home under the pretense of tweaking a few songs he’d been working on for his indefinitely postponed solo-album. While in the back of a cab he flicked through some of his favorite designer blogs and considered what he’d noticed of Youngbae’s taste. It was good taste. Seunghyun just got a particular thrill of tweaking Youngbae. It was adorable fun.

Careful, Seunghyun, he warned himself. He was approaching an incredibly ill-advised crush. Still it felt good, he tried to reason with himself. He’d never let himself actually contemplate a real friendship with Youngbae for all that he genuinely liked the other man. But here they were, the perfect opportunity to get to know one another and build something outside of the shadow of their group and Jiyong.

It was nice, and he wanted to be able to enjoy it for what it was. Still, he should be careful. Seunghyun knew himself well enough to know what a powerful catnip the design process could be to his desire. Something about the act of creating was incredibly intimate. It what had ensnared Jiyong and him, afterall.

Shaking his head, Seunghyun forced himself to focus on the present. Boundaries would be important. He didn’t feel like breaking his heart and nearly destroying the group again. “Aish,” he snapped at himself. He knocked his head against the window and stared at the city slipping by. That whole line of thinking needed to stop. Taking a deep breath, he watched the passing streets.