It was five years before Jiyoon came home. Her stay in America didn’t really change much about her - she thought about Jongin every day. Of course she felt terrible for what she did, but if she’d waited for him, she wouldn’t have been able to leave.

She had to live her dreams.

She walked back into her parents’s home and was taking in all the memories that she’d left behind. Not much had changed here either - other than the amounts of photos recklessly strewn on the wall.

She saw one of her and Jongin and she almost smiled before she remembered what she did. He hadn’t tried to contact her in the entirety of her time away. It was clear to her exactly what that meant: he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.

And that hurt, of course it did, because five years down the road and she still harbored the feelings she had on the last night she spent with him. His family, clearly clueless as to what happened, continued to encourage her to meet with him now that she was back.

She politely declined, telling them that she doubted that he’d want to see her. She couldn’t even bring herself to text him. That was, if he had the same number.

She was more than surprised when she found out exactly what he’d done with his life. Soon after Jiyoon had left, Jongin began training under a company. He only trained a few months before he debuted with now what was one of the most popular groups in Korea. What was she supposed to think? Of course she was proud, but it struck her just how much she’d missed.

Jungah invited Jiyoon out to lunch and there was no way she was going to say no. She was supposed to meet Jongin’s older sister at some small restaurant that nobody really went to. Jiyoon didn’t mind, but that just didn’t seem like a choice Jungah would make.

Jiyoon walked in and looked around, attempting to find where Jungah had said she would be. Jiyoon was about to call her before she felt eyes on her. She turned around slowly and caught eyes with someone she was sure she would never see again - Kim Jongin.

Her heart stopped in her chest and she suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to flee.

He hadn’t changed much, he was still the same height but definitely more muscular and his kind face nearly had a permanent scowl on it as he looked at her. His hair was parted down the middle, and surprisingly for an idol, his hair was his natural color.

He’d become even more attractive that he’d been five years ago, he - for the first time in Jiyoon’s life - looked intimidating. She hadn’t worked up the courage to look up his group or see anything that they’ve been doing; she knew they would do well if all of the members had the same passion that Jongin did.

She must’ve stood there for so long that the hostess walked up to her. She politely declined the woman’s offer and despite every neuron in her body telling her to run, she walked towards Jongin. His eyes were on her the whole time.

“I suppose Jungah brought you here too?” Jiyoon sat across from him.

“I didn’t even know you were back,” he said, “isn’t it early?” She blinked a couple times, unsure of what to respond to him with.

“It’s been five years, Jongin.” She attempted to avoid eye contact - his gaze was so powerful and intimidating now.

“Do you refuse to look at me because you know what you did was ed up?” He tilted his head a bit. It was clear to see that Jongin wasn’t one who healed with time. Of course, Jiyoon still felt terrible about it.

“I was eighteen and drunk, I didn’t really have control over my mind at that point or I wouldn’t have -”

“ing left the next morning like it was nothing? Or you wouldn’t have slept with me to begin with?” Jongin’s eyes narrowed and Jiyoon ran her fingers through her hair.

“Believe what you want, but I did love you.” She shook her head. “I should’ve known this is what Jungah was planning.” She stood up, grabbing at her things.

“So you’re gonna leave again?”

At that point, she couldn’t even hold anything back anymore, “God damn it, Kim Jongin, what do you want from me?” She was lucky there weren’t very many people in the restaurant. “It’s been five years, I get that what I did was horrible, but what else can I say? Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness? Because that’s just not happening.”

“You’re causing a scene, sit down.” And that was when it hit Jiyoon that she was making a scene, and with one of the most popular idols in the country. She quickly sat back down and put her head down on the table.

“You left that day and I was a mess. All I thought about was you and my mother told me that you’d be waiting at home when we got there but I knew…I knew you were gone. I couldn’t get my mind off of you so I started training.” He told her, taking a sip of his water. “Even then I wanted you back. After everything you’d done, I still wanted you.”

They were interrupted when the waitress asked them what they’d like to drink, handing them menus. The waitress took one look at Jongin and smiled. She bowed to him.

“I’m a big fan of EXO.” She told him. Jongin’s face instantly lit up and Jiyoon watched as he thanked her for her support.

“Please, don’t let anyone know I was here.” He smiled at her. “I’m supposed to be practicing right now.”

“Ah, like you need any! Your dancing is perfect!” She giggled and walked away once she was called to the counter. Jiyoon took a deep breath and looked out of the window to avoid Jongin.

She had no idea what to say. What could she say? It was clear that he didn’t want to talk to her.

“I should go.” Jiyoon told him. “I’ll see you whenever -”

“Does it upset you to think that you’re not the only girl in my life anymore?” His words were another blow and she attempted to brush it off. She was about to walk away when his fingers wrapped around her wrist. He looked right at her. “Does it bother you when you think of how many other girls I’ve been with after you?”

She felt her eyes sting with tears and she didn’t even bother to look at him. It took her two tugs of her arm to get away from him. Nothing he could say now would make her want to talk to him. She took a deep breath and walked calmly out of the restaurant to her car.

She wouldn’t show what his words did to her. She slid the seat belt over her chest and shook her head. She ran her fingers through her hair.

As soon as she got into her apartment, her phone began to ring. She looked down at her screen and saw Jungah’s name on the screen. She answered it.

“Kim Jungah, what the was that? I told you guys that I didn’t want to meet with him and then this - what happened to him?”

“Woah,” Jungah was clearly surprised. “He texted me and told me that you ran out so I just…what’d he say?”

“I-it was nothing.” Jiyoon lied.

“It had to do with the morning you left, didn’t it?” She asked. Jungah always knew more than Jiyoon thought she would.

“Jungah, I get that I ed up but in what world did he have to say those things to me -”

“What happened that night? What made him think you were going to stay?” Jungah’s question made Jiyoon freeze, her heart skipping a beat in her chest.

“I really don’t think you’d want to know.” Jiyoon scrunched up her nose. “Besides, it doesn’t matter -”

“Park Jiyoon, what happened between you and my brother?” Jungah was nearly demanding an answer. “If I know what it is, I can try to help -”

“I slept with him, Jungah. I had with Jongin and now he hates me.” It felt nice to get it off her chest, but Jiyoon was nervous when Jungah took a while to answer.

“Oh,” she finally replied, “I can see why you didn’t want to tell me. But, um, he’s mad because you slept with him?”

“Uh, not exactly. Your brother was a until eighteen.” Jiyoon frowned, running her fingers through her hair.

“Okay, that doesn’t surprise me, he was like three miles up your .” Jungah’s words made her chuckle.

“I still love him, Jungah.” Jiyoon scoffed, shaking her head. “After all this time and I still…ugh.”

“Don’t worry about it, Jiyoon, behind his rudeness and whatever else he was doing, deep down he still loves you. Not even that deep down, either, I talk to him a lot, you know.”

“I don’t know…” Jiyoon sighed. “Maybe it’s time for us to call it quits.”