reasons why

I.

Chaeyeon was always there.

It's a hot afternoon because it's summer and Jaehyun's wasting his vacation in the PC bang or the nearest local cafe where his spare change could get him a few hours or so. After a good game of League, he'd scroll through his Facebook feed and Chaeyeon's just always there. 

Smile frozen or mid-laugh, holding the camera up so everyone could see the variety of scenic views in Osaka, Japan. And Jaehyun would just stare at the picture for two whole seconds before clicking like. And then he'd continue to scroll down, way down. 

Jung Chaeyeon: Jaehyuuun~

It's another hot afternoon and Jaehyun is yet again spending it inside a cool internet cafe a block away from their house. He's stopped playing for the afternoon, he's just waiting for his friends to finish so they could go out and eat. While waiting, he's online and she's online and she chats him up. Although it's nothing big. They were classmates, they were friends and Chaeyeon is an overall nice girl with a nicer personality and they've been chatting each other since way before this summer. 

Jung Jaehyun: I have a joke for you.

And this is where it all starts.

The chatting. The laughing while reading her messages. The smiling while hearing her voice inside his head. 

Chaeyeon was always there.

Every time he went online, she was there. She was posting pictures of her summer trip, and he was liking her pictures of her summer trip. Literally and figuratively. She cut her hair short, almost past her shoulders. It was cute but he liked it better long and yet he didn't really tell her that, because they always seemed to be talking about nonsense. And somehow, this nonsense meant everything to Jaehyun. This nonsense chatting with his classmate didn't seem so bad, so they continued. 

Chaeyeoni: Heyyy I'm back did you miss me?

They've assigned nicknames now. Chaeyeon is friendly like that, Jaehyun always feel like he's just bugging her but she always finds ways to reply back to his messages which makes him thinks he's less of a nuisance to her than it seems. 

Jaejaehyun: Nope. Never gonna miss you.

Chaeyeoni: Naw. You will soon~

Jaehyun went to Busan for two days. He enjoyed everything about the trip from the food to the hotel to the beaches and the night markets. But all he could think about was Jung Chaeyeon. 

Chaeyeoni: Hihihi, love u~

This was how she always was. She was joking and she was affectionate especially towards the people she considered as her close friends. Jaehyun and her have always bonded with the others, they've always gotten along. She's told him that phrase a million times before but why, just why, did this time seem a little different?

So Jaehyun stopped. He cut all contact with her and moved on to Plan B. Kim Chungha. 

He wanted to distract himself. He wanted her to realize he wasn't a man who could be easily moved by mere digital words coming from a silly little high school girl. But rather, he was a man where he could get any girl he wanted. (Even if he didn't like them, even if it wasn't Chaeyeon.)

Chungha was always there too, he knows she likes him. Ever since he was in the first year and she was in her third. When she graduated, he thought all ties would be cut but no. Chungha still liked him, and Jaehyun decided to forcibly like her back all for the sake of forgetting about the eccentric Jung Chaeyeon.

Yes he's selfish and a total jerk, he knows this. 

But it's only because Jaehyun couldn't make Chaeyeon his. Never in his wildest dreams would he even dare to try. Chaeyeon was Doyoung's. Always was, and always will be. 

And Doyoung is more than his best friend, he's like a brother, a compadre. 

He couldn't risk it. 

Doyoung's friendship, Chaeyeon's friendship, Chungha's feelings. 

He just couldn't.

But he did anyway.