PRESENT

“OH SEHUN!” Luhan screamed as he ran towards his best friend. It has been a while since they saw each other’s faces; well other than some selfies they’ve exchanged while on vacation.

Sehun smiled and walked calmly as they meet. Luhan hugged him so tight and Sehun could barely breathe.

“Hyung.” The taller boy smiled. He hugged him back and rubbed Luhan’s back. Sehun smiled, thinking that it wasn’t just him who missed the other one. It was a mutual feeling and he was glad about it. It was one of the most comforting feelings he had been feeling since he met this hyung. Luhan was so open with how he feels towards the younger boy.

They separated from each other and Sehun took his time looking at Luhan’s face, appreciating every detail on his face. He missed him so much, so much that he couldn’t sleep much at night.

Sehun turned his lights off and climbed on his bed. He lied down and stared into darkness as Luhan started to show in his vision, well maybe he was imagining his best friend. Sehun smiled, thinking of what they should do once Luhan comes back in Korea.

Luhan was in his hometown in China during the whole vacation. He always visits his family every summer vacation and Sehun couldn’t do anything but to let him go and miss him every single day. But of course, he won’t tell Luhan about this.

Sehun was about to drift off into darkness but his phone rang so loudly that he thinks he was about to have a heart attack. He sat up, patted his chest heavily and sighed angrily.

“What now!” Sehun raised his voice while breathing heavily without looking at the caller’s ID. Calm the down, Sehun.

The person on the other line cleared his voice. “Am I—am I interrupting something?”

“What? Luhan hyung? Is that you?” Sehun asked, as he was trying calm himself now. Stupid Sehun. He was trying to slow his breathing down. He didn’t want to admit but that scared the heck out of him. It was his fault because he forgot to put his phone on silent mode.

“Y-yeah. What were you doing?” Luhan asked carefully, thinking of something that is completely inappropriate. Luhan clutched on his blanket and Sehun’s next lines made him choke.

“Uh, I was just about to—“ and the call was dropped. “Hyung?” Sehun looked at his phone to check if the call was still on but no, it has really ended.

After the call was dropped, his phone vibrated indicating that he had received a message. Sehun unlocked his phone and read the message he did not expect to read in his life.

Lu-bear:

• Keep going. I didn’t know you were doing… it. SORRY!

 My Sehunnie:

• doing… it ????

Lu-bear:

• Don’t mention it please.
• Just keep going.. Bye.

Sehun had his eyes twice its original size. He kept thinking if he moaned or said something while answering the phone but he knew he did not do anything.

My Sehunnie:

• HYUNG
• I M NOT EVEN DOING  IT

Lu-bear:

• Then why were you…?

My Sehunnie:

• I said I was about to sleep !!
• BUT YOU DROPPED THE CALL

Lu-bear:

• Then why were you out of breath?
• Oh my god.

My Sehunnie:

• YOU ASSUMED
• !!!
• …Let’s not talk about it. Goodnight hyung.

Sehun did not receive any reply from his hyung. He chuckled quietly, thinking how cute Luhan was. Usually, they did not care about those things but it had him thinking why Luhan acted like that. Sehun ignored it and slept with a smile on his face.

Sehun laughed at the thought and reminded his hyung about what happened. Luhan felt his face became hot and walked away from Sehun. The former tried to act normal but he was just too embarrassed for having a dirty mind.

“Sehun! Luhan!” Jongin, together with Kyungsoo, walked their way to Sehun and Luhan’s direction. Jongin and Kyungsoo were their college friends, together with Chanyeol and Baekhyun who were probably somewhere around the university.

Luhan let out a long breathe as Jongin ran and hugged Sehun tightly. They were jumping around like kids and Kyungsoo just laughed it off and walked to Luhan’s side and they talked about how their vacation went.

“As much as I want to spend time with you guys, we have to go now. Who would want to be late on their first day?” Kyungsoo winked and pulled Jongin with him. With that, Sehun waved at Luhan and left. They went to their respective rooms with their schedules with them.

They were all sitting and laughing at their usual coffee shop. This was their usual meeting place for two years already. Their friendship started at the beginning of their first year in college and now, they were already in their third year.

“I share two classes with Luhan!” Chanyeol high-fived Luhan.

“I have a class with Kyungsoo! can’t resist me?” Baekhyun winked at Kyungsoo, who just threw a handful of tissues to his face. They all laughed loudly, as usual.

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had this special relationship where they acted like they always fight but in reality, those two were really close.

“I have one with Sehun!” Jongin formed a gun on his hand and playfully shot at Sehun’s chest across him. The latter grinned and sipped on his drink. He noticed how Jongin slowly rubbed Kyungsoo’s back and he slightly felt jealous because Sehun wanted to do it with his hyung too but he was too shy to do it, despite of the closeness they had for more than a decade.

“Are you like, together?” Baekhyun asked boldly and Kyungsoo literally choked on his drink. It seemed like Baekhyun noticed those little sweet actions that Jongin was giving to Kyungsoo.

“Uh—“

“It’s okay, Soo!” Chanyeol cheerfully said and raised his cup of coffee.

“Cheers for Kyungsoo and Jongin!”

“Cheers” And Luhan was the loudest among them. He was clapping like and gibbering about how he wanted Kyungsoo and Jongin to be together for a long time.

“But we are not together!” Kyungsoo glared at them, acting like he was mad but his face said otherwise.

Jongin laughed at Kyungsoo’s reaction and decided to change the topic. He attacked Baekhyun with his uploaded drunk photo from last week. Jongin successfully diverted the attention from them and they stayed there for almost three hours, and all went home separately.

Sehun and Luhan were walking together to their apartment. It was just 10-minute walk to their university so they agreed to live there. They did not live in the same building because there was no other available unit that was why Luhan chose the building that was across Sehun’s apartment.

They stopped by at Luhan’s place. Sehun was looking around the streets and he suddenly heard Luhan’s voice.

“Goodnight, Sehunnie. Sleep well, okay?” Luhan hugged him and went inside his building. He waved and stepped inside the elevator. Sehun smiled and walked to his place with cloudy thoughts.

Sehun was thinking of Kyungsoo and Jongin. They looked so happy, despite of denying their relationship. He knew Kyungsoo wasn’t the type that shares everything, but Jongin didn’t have the same characteristics as him. Sehun smiled, he felt happy for their friends. His mind started to think of another else but more like, someone else. He shook his thought and tried to think of something that has no relation to this person. He just knew that there would be no chance of happening because he was sure that this person only sees him as younger brother. It’s okay. He tried to shake it off as he entered his room.

He did his night routine quietly and when he was done, he lied down on his bed with his arm tucked under his head.

They had been friends for more than ten years and Sehun did not want to destroy the friendship that they had just because of his feelings towards his hyung. He’d always choose being friends with the person he really liked, even if it would hurt him that they can only be friends. Friends.

His phone vibrated and he checked who messaged him.

Kai Jongin:

• What are you going to do now? ? ? ?

Sebooty:

• What

Kai Jongin:

• Luhan
• ring a bell ? ? ?

Sebooty:

• Why, what do you want?
• How’s Kyungsoo?

Kai Jongin:

• don’t pass it on me
• make your move
• what if he likes you back? ? ?

Sehun reached for his water bottle on his nightstand. He took his time drinking and spacing out, thinking about the possibilities of losing his chance. Lol, what chance? Then he decided to reply his friend’s nonsense message.

Sebooty:

• You’re far from reality. Stop it.

Kai Jongin:

• Sehun
• listen to me
• what if you’d lose your chance? ?

Sebooty:

• I <3 you bro but I hope you know you are being delusional.

Kai Jongin:

• whatever I love u too
• but being with the one you really love feels like hEAVEN

Sebooty:

• I know.

I know. I am with him for my whole life.

His presence, being with him physically, already feels like heaven.

And I am happy and contented.

Am I?

∞

The week passed so slowly yet so fast. As expected, they were all busy from their school works and they sometimes meet as they study together. Maybe not.

It was Saturday afternoon; Sehun and Luhan were on their way to Sehun’s hometown. Luhan’s parents went back to China after Luhan graduated in high school. He was alone in Korea, but he did not feel lonely. All thanks to his friends, but mostly to Sehun for being with him all the time.

They arrived at the beach, where they spent most of their childhood days; where everything started.

Friendship

Memories

Feelings

They walked towards the sea and before they knew it, Luhan was already running with his hands flapping around the air. Sehun chuckled at his hyung’s silly action. He felt his heart beating so fast as he breathed the familiar smell of the sea.

“We’re back!” Luhan shouted with his arms clapping like a seal.

“Aren’t you excited?” Sehun said beside his hyung.

Luhan looked at Sehun and noticed that the latter was holding a glass bottle with a note inside. Luhan raised his brow and he was about to say something but Sehun said something.

“I haven’t sent you a letter for so long. I hope you read the note.” Sehun said to the sea with a smile on his face as he threw the bottle as far as he could.

Luhan looked at him with wide eyes. “You did not tell me you brought one! I could’ve brought mine” He whined.

“I thought you’d bring one because you knew we’re going here?”

Luhan just rolled his eyes, ignoring the younger among them. Sehun smiled and playfully smacked Luhan’s head. The latter glared at Sehun.

“Brat!”

Sehun laughed as he ran away from his hyung. Luhan was behind him and he was laughing too. They were playing around like kids but they didn’t mind. They missed this and no one could stop them.

They brought out their food and sat at the shore like they were having a picnic. Past, present, and future; they talked about those just like the old days. Luhan talked the most but Sehun didn’t mind, as he liked watching his hyung talk and hearing his voice. Those were just some things Sehun don’t mind doing every single day.

∞

Sehun was waiting for Luhan to be dismissed at the bench near their building. He was holding a box of chocolate because he remembered what his hyung said last night.

I’m really craving for something sweet.

He was waiting diligently and was looking around the campus. Sehun could not wait to give him those chocolates because he knew his hyung would be really happy. After few minutes, he saw Luhan came out from the building but his hyung was talking someone on the phone.

“Luhan hyung!”  Sehun called out but Luhan did not hear him. The latter kept on walking and Sehun thought about following him, and he actually did. He followed Luhan without the latter knowing that Sehun was behind him. He was about run and show his hyung what he got for him but Luhan shouted a name he never thought he’d hear again.

“Minseok!” Luhan waved and walked to the said guy and they both hugged. Minseok and Luhan were talking to each other as they walk away from the campus. Sehun felt betrayed. His hyung promised him that they’ll eat dinner together but this was what he saw. His phone vibrated and he opened the message.

Lu-bear:

• Go home, Sehunnie. Sorry but I have to meet my group mates. We’ll eat together next time.

He felt betrayed. How could he do that? Sehun put his phone in his pocket and walked away. For some reasons, Sehun wanted to cry. He felt really sad. He felt like his chest was about to explode but he thought that he was over reacting.

Sehun went to the nearest shop where he could buy alcohol. He picked some Soju and something he can eat while drinking. As he exited the shop, he saw Jongin standing outside the shop. Jongin looked at Sehun and walked slowly to him.

“Alcohol? Do you want to go to my dorm?” Jongin asked Sehun. The latter nodded and no words were exchanged while they were walking. Sehun was grateful with that.

When they arrived at Jongin’s dorm, he walked to his friend’s bed and lied down. Jongin threw a pair of jersey shorts to Sehun’s face and he removed his jeans and wore what Jongin gave him.

“I can’t believe my ty professor. He gave us another project!” Jongin whined as he opened the bottle on his hands. He poured himself a drink and drank it in a second.

“Who said we’ll have a good life while we’re studying.” Sehun chuckled as he also drank the alcohol on his shot glass. The effect of alcohol in his throat felt really good.

“I agree. Cheers!” Jongin laughed as they tossed their glasses together. They kept drinking until they felt tipsy. They were talking about some movies they watched a year ago. They even talked how good fried chicken tasted, but happiness didn’t last long.

“What is he doing here?” Jongin asked Sehun while munching their chips.

“Who?”

“That Minseok guy.”

Sehun froze. He looked at Jongin and drank the remaining alcohol in the bottle in one shot. Sehun looked at his hands and rubbed them together.

“I don’t know…” Sehun muttered. “Wait, how did you know?”

“I saw you following Luhan at the campus and decided to follow you but as Luhan was reaching the gates, I saw Minseok and he was smiling at Luhan and it looked like you didn’t notice him. I was about to run and pull you back but it was too late.” Jongin said while folding some papers he picked on his side.

“You saw…”

“That’s why I followed you at the shop and waited for you outside.”

Sehun opened another bottle and drank again. Jongin didn’t stop him from drinking but instead, he joined him. Jongin knew it was painful for Sehun to see Luhan with his ex-boyfriend. Jongin knew that Sehun liked Luhan for the longest time. It was already painful for Sehun when Minseok and Luhan dated but Sehun acted like everything was fine. He said he was happy, for as long as it made Luhan happy. Jongin, on the other hand, knew that it was a lie.

“To make you feel better, do you want to eat those chocolates?” Jongin joked and to his surprise, Sehun opened and ate them without hesitation.

Sehun’s phone vibrated and he checked his phone.

Lu-bear:

• Are you home?

He closed his phone and threw it somewhere on his friend’s bed. Jongin looked at him with questioning expression.

“It was Luhan hyung. He asked me,” Sehun hiccupped. “Asked me if I’m home”

“And you did not answer him?”

“I don’t know, Jongin. He lied a while ago. He texted me, saying he was going to meet his group mates.” Sehun whined as he stood up and sat on Jongin’s bed.

“Group mates and Minseok? Are they the same?” Sehun added while chuckling. Jongin helped him to lie down and he heard Sehun talking. Hearing those words from Sehun made him wanted to help his dearest friend.

“It’s okay. He is not even mine but…” Sehun closed his eyes and sighed. “Why does loving him have to hurt like this?”

***

It took me almost two months to post this lmao.

btw, STREAM KOKOBOP AND VOTE #EXO

so much love <3