Shim Changmin.... chwang.. i missed him beyond words. I couldnt express. I couldnt confess. Because he was the only one i was free to talk. I shared my darkest secrets with him. So does he. Even after all this we always kept those things between us. One thing i was never able to confess sincerly was my love towards him. He was always my role model. Rival i always wanted to fight with. 

Did he consider me as rival? No he never. He is handsome, sings well, have alot of fans, acts well, taller, have abs, kind sunbae. Yes he have alot of qualities. Can model, can compose, can write lyrics. I always wonder how can someone be this much perfect. I should have been blessed to have him as a boyfriend atleast for few months. Yeah.. few months.... We only kissed nothing more.

Do you think that i sound little dissappointed!!!! ert minded peoples. Huh!!! Cho kyuhyun are you a ... even he the great choikang changmin asked me that question durning live broadcast for fluttering india tv show. Well! I was shocked back then. Yeah... i will leave you guys think about it.

I was walking at night near our suju dorm area. I used to stay there if i feel so. I own my own apartment and i moved before army enlistment. I felt loneliness. I was soo upset. I should have called mimi hyung. He might be busy now with his schedules. Soon i got an idea of having hot chocolate. I went to nearest cafe. Due to night cafe was customer less. When i stepped in i heard someone order caramel machiatto.... suddenly my heart beat increased...

Why chwang.... it hurts..... that i miss you... i still have you in my heart... Why you make it hard.. and let me down ... indirectly....

I was stuck while placing my order. Suddenly i had an urge to have  caramel macchiatto and spaghetti carbonara. Chwang as much as i miss you as much as i will recall and recollect our memories. You are the one blurted out those words. Famous food monster describing about my voice in terms of food was a shock to both me and all others.

What happenend to us? What was wrong? Was that because i am a namja. A man. Or was that only because of her. Chwang for you.. i wanted to become a girl... and only for you...

My order was received within a few minutes. Luckly i didnt catch suspicious eyes following me. I enjoyed my freedom. And flavoured my tongue with the food you loved the most. Its chessy but perfectly balanced. Was it only my voice? You only loved my voice and i was a love sick fool. Pabbo....m

I shed tears recalling everything. Like mimi hyungs Rewind song i just wanted one more change so that i could STOP present, REWIND everything happenend till now from start and PLAY again rectifying my mistakes. Still i dont regret anything. Because by regretting, nothing can change. 

My phone begin to vibrate. Someones calling me. I checked the caller id. Its manager hyung. Something urgent about schedule else he wont call me. I picked the call.

Youngsun manager: Kyuhyunahhhhhhhh

Kyuhyun: Ye... hyungnim

YM: Where are you? You told that you are staying at dorm today. But i cant find you here.

KH: Hyungnim i am having a midnight snack and coffee at a cafe near by.

YM: You should follow your diet kyuhyuniee. Lots of works are coming.

KH: Why are you searching for me?

YM: You have to be there at SM tomorrow. There is a important announcement from management. You are collaborating with an artist.

KH: chinja.... aishhhh i worked alone. I am a ballad singer hyung. Why should i need some collaboration?. And i even had huge success more than others being solo artist. My solo concerts were record creators.

YM: i know kyuhyunieee. But i am helpless.

KH: Is that a new trainee who is going to be with me?

YM: I dont know kyuhyunie. But for SM to decide such a thing that person might have extra ordinary talent or may be he is powerful. You know what i mean right... like a rich person like wonnie...

KH: Like choi siwon. No way hyung. Anyway lets find out tomorrow.

YM: Dont be late. And I wont tell your teukie umma and chullie noona.

"I CAN HEAR YOU WELL MANAGER SHIIIIIII..."

KH: SPEAK OF DEVIL.... Hyungnim you are in trouble. Take care and stay away from chullie noona. I promise i wont be late.

YM: Good baby kyu... pray for your manager hyung. Because tomorrow is a big day for you and me as well. Dont want to break my bones.

KH: goodnight hyung. Am hanging up. Annyeong

YM: Dont be late. Annyeong...

After half an hour i reached back dorm. I was happy that manager hyungnim was soundly sleeping. Hope chullie noona postponded the prank to another day. Lol. 

Next day i was greeted by Lee soo man master, teukie umma, yunho hyung and CHOIKANG CHANGMIN... what the hell.. huh may be TVXQ new album discussion. They are back as 5 so they are now doing new album preparation.

LSM: OUR KYUHYUNIEEEE ( he hugged me tightly. Well yeah i am SM Golden boy. I can feel teukie ummaz possessive look and changmin i dont know. Oh please i dont care)

Chullie noona : Enough....... My BABY KYU ... ( teukie umma pouted. But soon joined hugging me with chullie noona. Well do i have to tell chullie noona seperated lee soo man from me within a second. Yunho hyung smiled so does manager hyungs)

LSM: Teukie... Chullie... i have something to tell kyuhyunieee

KH: Ye.. master lee. Why you want me here?

LSM: SM want you to collaborate with TVXQ...

Chullie noona & Teukie umma : NO!!! OVER OUR DEAD BODIES.

KH: Yes master lee. Super Junior is my family. I wont leave my umma appa noona and hyungdeul. Andwea. Jeongmal mianhae.

LSM: Let me finish.. you are collaborating with TVXQ MAKNAE.

KH: Oh.....WHAT?????????

Teukie Umma: I OPPOSE

Chullie noona: I DOUBLE OPPOSE.

LSM: We are not voting on anything. And its final.

KH: But TVXQ have their own album.

LSM: Changkyu collaboration will be mega hit. Bolero song you sing together, Just the way you are and My thoughts Your Memories... how can SM forget that... And changminie said that he will manage everything so that you dont have to worry.

Ofcourse Choikang Changmin will manage everything. Multi talented. Two timer!!!!!

KH: But I......

LSM: Kyuhyunie.. for SM... for Me....

KH: Okay master lee. I never disobeyed SM or any of you if this is what you all want then so be it.

Chullie noona: BUT I OPPOSE BABY KYU... TEUKIE AND SUJU TOO...

KH: Chullie noona... Kyuhyunie is strong. Kyuhyunie have you guys. Its enough for kyuhyunie. And I should do this.

Chullie noona & Teukie umma: WE ARE PROUD OF YOU BABY KYU.... ( warm group hug.. this time i can feel yunho hyung lee soo man and manager hyungs joining us. But changmin.... why should i care. We are only work related persons nothing more)

Following days i received alot of motivation and tips from noona umma and others. I tried to memorize everything. These days CHO KYUHYUN must act as a real idol. He may be TVXQ Maknae, Choikang man who can be handsome and talented same time. But i am also no less from him. He may be my sunbae. But SUPER JUNIOR MAKNAE  is something else. We are not same. You will understand soon Sunbaenim. The Game begins in 3.....2....1....GO!