Mind's haywire, can't breathe

Disorientation, see,

Driving me insane.

~*~

Disorientation. It's not a feeling she's familiar with. Well, maybe after she regenerates, I mean, who wouldn't question who they were in this universe when they literally become a humanoid figure radiating golden dust-like energy from their entire being and suddenly have a new face, body and personality? She knows she's not one to be unaware and oblivious. Hated being like that, actually. The reality was quite opposite.

Call it a God complex or whatever, she liked being in control, rather. Maybe it was a Time Lord thing. Couldn't help it. When the entirety of the universe and time is in their hands, can't blame them for being a bit cocky. She couldn't be unaware, too. Surviving for thousands of years and coming from a race of geniuses, knowledge is permanently bound to her.

All her regenerations had the same detestable quality. Good thing her companions loved the endearing nature she always maintained, otherwise it would've been a lonely 1324 years. Strangely, she couldn't remember any of them. Zilch. She can't even remember who she is.

What was it again? Disorientation, the state of mental confusion. Not hysteria, she's not screaming for her life. Paranoia? Probably not. Maybe it was amnesia, considering how she somehow lost all her memories. No, there's a figure of a person, faced blurred and staring up at her.

Who was she anyway? Not the blurred face, the consciousness of these thoughts.

Who am I? A long series of contemplation arrives as she faces the dimmed lights and lulling crimson of the TARDIS.

Maybe she was a run-off, her teenage angst consuming her and rebelling against her parents. Or she could be a workaholic on vacation, the ruler of a country, a mere peasant.

TARDIS?

Time And Relative Dimension In Space, a memory of the blur whispering in awe comes to mind.

Yes! Her time machine! That's what it was, bigger on the inside. Always amusing to see people's reactions when they'd notice. Loved it to bits. A time machine, wasn't it? She was a Time Lord, wasn't she? How her race loved the bigger on the inside bit. The last of her kind. Well, before one of the regenerations rebooted the universe and all of them came back, but technically one of the few who wasn't time-locked.

She's smart, too. Perks of being a Time Lord. No wonder she could figure out all this so fast.

She owned the TARDIS of course, it was hers. What was her name again? Not the real one, the other one. The one that wouldn't possibly unravel the mysteries of the universe, her alias. The word that would send entire fleets running away.

Doctor who? It's the blur again, could possibly be one of her companions questioning her name. Doctor. She was the Doctor.

Usually she has a good memory, not bad for 1324 years, but now, it seems to have faded away.

Wait, she was the Doctor, and she's feeling disoriented. There's only two possible reasons for the feeling. For starters, she doesn't have a massive headache, so she's not hungover. Has she regenerated?

She haphazardly checks the features of her face. 

Eyes? Monolided.

Nose? Incredibly buttoned.

Ears? Blimey, she thought she was rid of the curse of huge ears. She probably looked like Dumbo. In the distance, she hears a voice calling them cute and she almost feels the phantom touch on them.

Hair? Still not ginger, goddammit.

Feelings of déjà vu come rushing through her mind. She's been through all this already! That implies that she hasn't regenerated, she was still the same old person. Ooh, she still had the same body, too. This recurring blur loved her body, she recalls. Well, she loved it too.

Quite tall, toned, and for once, not strikingly similar to a British human, this regeneration wasn't doing that bad. She was more Korean 'round this time, right? She has a sense of fashion finally, not just throwing on leather jackets or bowties.

She liked to wear plaid. And as her mind reminds, she wasn't the only one who loved to see her in plaid. Apparently, she looked rather y in plaid shirts. Sometimes she'd wear them on purpose to rile the faceless blur up.

Okay, so far, she remembers the following things. One, she's the Doctor. Two, she hasn't regenerated. Three, there may or may not be some romantic involvement between her and the faceless blur.

Starting, maybe she could consider all the possible ways she lost her memory. A painful whack on the head? Possibly, this blur seemed to be quite violent. Getting trapped in some ancient civilization and brainwashed? That's already happened once, what are the odds of it happening twice? Catching a bug?

That might've been what happened, actually. Last night, she'd just landed on Malovinous for a quick ride on the universe's longest train ride, she was going through a forest and—

Bitten by a bug. Bitten by the exact bug that would cause a fury of emotions in Time Lords. If she's correct, she got bitten some ten hours ago, and the effects last for about thirteen hours. Oh dear, what would the next three hours bring?

She must've been sleeping all this time, she was on a bed, might as well do the same now.