She stood motionless in front of the door of her father’s hospital room feeling like her chest is close to caving in from the bomb that exploded on her face that afternoon with Carswell. One bomb that turned everthing crystal-clear.

They all lied to her.

Jiyong lied to her.

Her father lied to her.

She had spent so many years in contained misery… cried herself until her eyes couldn’t take anymore at night and then pretending everything is alright the next day. She had spent years questioning her worth and why she wasn’t enough…. The pain of being left behind… of being hurt… to be on the losing end….

Why? What did she ever do to deserve this?

The disbelief turned into anger and the anger turned into tears. The pain constricted her chest making it impossbile to breathe that she ran to the rooftop to get some air after Carswell left.

“Kwon Jiyong was cornered and your father took that opportunity,” Carswell was saying, his soft voice soothing despite the news he was bringing. “Ultimately, it became a choice between his mother and you.” He watched Dara’s face fill with hurt, betrayal… disbelief. “Your father only did what he thought was right for you at the time.” Carswell’s voice was gentle but Dara felt the words slapping her across the face. She could not believe what she just heard. It just couldn’t be true. This is… too much to ever happen in real life.

“So he lied to me?” Dara asked her voice shaking. “He watched me cry…--” the tears started to form in her eyes, the level of betrayal from her own father slowly killing her. “—for Jiyong…. I cried to him and told him he was right about Jiyong….”

“He’s a father, Miss Dara,” Carswell said. “And you are his only daughter. He wants to ensure your future is resolute in case… he would no longer be there. And he had never believed that Kwon Jiyong would be able to give you that.” Carswell watched as tears fell from Dara’s eyes. “I understand how you’re feeling but you also have to understand where your father is coming from.”

Dara wiped the tears from her eyes as she stood up unable to take this, the number of Jiyong’s checks crumpled on her father’s desk. She couldn’t put her head around it. Her father using Jiyong’s mother as a way to make him leave her… the benevolent father she adored and respected… the father that she is proud to have because he’s unlike any controlling fathers…. All lies.

“Your father is nothing but protective,” Carswell continued. “Especially with the people he cared about. More so with you.”

Dara lifted her tear-streaked face to look at her father’s loyal assistant. “Don’t make excuses for him. He manipulated us. He manipulated me. He manipulated my life.” Carswell silently watched her as she cried in anger, frustration, and hurt. “I gave him everything he wants, didn’t i? I try to make him happy, to make him proud of me… so why? Why?” She sobbed. Words could never articulate the pain she is feeling right now. All those years… hate, pain, anguish…. All the lies… the extent of it. It’s like going back to that day when her world seemed to fall apart.

The time when her dad was the only one who held it together.

When he knew he was the one who caused it.

“I only asked for a chance to live my life with my choices,” Dara continued sobbing. “I promised him I would do what he wants me to do but I would just like to have a choice… one choice…. But he had to manipulate that to make it seem like the choice I made was wrong. Why can’t he just be happy for me? All these years he never told me the truth. All these years, I hated Jiyong…. All these years I thought he only used me… and I told dad he was right about him but he knew…. Dad knew all along.”

“Your father is stubborn, you know that,” Carswell said softly. “And you know that he would never admit his mistake unless he have to. He was definite Kwon Jiyong would amount to nothing and that is  one mistake he is not willing to admit.” He nodded to the checks on the table. “That is why he had never cashed that check. He would then acknowledge how that one misjudge of character made him hurt his own daughter.” He paused before continuuing, “He was afraid that if you knew the truth, he will lose you.”

Dara could only slumped back down in her seat, again wiping the tears off her face and looked at the benevolent expression of the middle aged man that his father had kept since he was sixteen.

“Don’t take it too hard on your father,” Carswell gently told her. “He only did that because he loves you.”

It took a minute before she can speak again. “Don’t let my father know that I knew,” Dara said as she wiped another tear that trailed down her cheek.”Understand?”

Carswell made a small nod. “As you wish, Miss Park.”

“You can leave,” Dara ordered feeling the energy drained out of her.

Carswell hesitated before speaking again, “Your father really believed he would never try to communicate with you until he fully paid his debt. Kwon Jiyong is a man of his words.  And that is one character that your father admired and hated at the same time. Also one of the reasons why he hasn’t cashed the check.” He gave a small bow as he left Dara in her father’s office.

Her anger could not change the past, she realized. It happened. Nor can she take back the pain. It’s already there. Her father was wrong—did wrong, but he was her father. And she knew without a doubt her father did all that because he loves her albeit the decisions he made for her without her knowing. But it pains her to realize that her father deceived her. He used his money to drive Jiyong into a choice where he knew he would win.

And Jiyong….

He loved her… but not enough to trust her. He chose to hurt her and push her away. He chose to be alone in that fight.

How can the two people she loved the most hurt her like this? It’s so unbearable that she felt like she died twice today.

She could feel the tears forming in her eyes again and she looked up at the ceiling trying to get control of her emotions. This isn’t the time to feel vulnerable. She is hurt, yes. But she needs to be strong. Confronting her dad would not ease the pain of any of that. It probably would just make things worse…makes the pain more pronounced.

And it isn’t the time for any confrontation when all she wanted for her dad is to get well and be healthy again. She was angry at how much her dad had lied to her but this isn’t the best time to think of her own emotions when her father’s health is on the line.

She opened the door and pasted a smile on her face. Her father greeted her with a  very cheerful smile. “Dara. The doctor said I can be discharged today.”

Dara glanced at Carswell who only gave her a small nod of greeting and she’s pretty sure that Carswell kept his promise of not telling her father.

His silence might also be attributed to his concern over her father’s health as stress can worsen his health condition. 

“That’s good news,” Dara said trying to be happy over the news eventhough her chest feels hollowed. “That means you’re listening to the doctor well for him to discharge you this early.” Then she glanced at the number of medicines on the table then sighed. “But why haven’t you drank this yet?”

Her father’s smile turned into a scowl. “I hate the taste of them.”

“Don’t make me tell the doctor you’re skipping on your vitamins.” Dara poured her father a glass of water and took the small plate with his medicines on it. “Cmon, dad. Be a good senior citizen.”

“What?!” Her father sounded indignant.

Dara smirked. Her father is a senior citizen but does not want to hear that he is. “Drink or I’m calling Doctor Song.”

Her father gave her a glare. “Aish.” Then grudingly took the medicine to drink them all in one gulp. “Blech. They tasted so damn bad.”

Dara grinned in satisfaction. “Alright, let me just check the front desk and see when I can wheel you out of here.”

“And buy me a hamburger, please,” her dad told her as she opened the door.

“No,” she just answered before closing the door behind her.

She was waiting on the nurse’s station as they called her father’s doctor for confirmation, sighing heavily to ease the heaviness on her chest, even just for a little bit. It’s true what they say. The truth really hurts. So much.

“Did you hear about Dr. Goo Hara?”

Dara’s eyes went immediately to the two gossiping nurses as she heard the name.

“I heard she’s going with Kwon Jiyong to attend some music awards thing on Tuesday,” the other nurse quipped.  “He was nominated as best music producer, something.”

“Oh so that’s why she filed for a vacation leave. I was surprised because she never used any of her vacation leaves before.”

“Rumor has it that she is going to be engaged soon, can you believe it?”

“Dr. Goo Hara is so lucky. She was a fan and now she’s a fiancee? I wish that would happen to me with Won Bin.”

“Miss Park?”

Dara turned her head to the nurse who had called her father’s doctor. “Yes?” Her voice sounded a little hoarse.

“Doctor Song would like to check up on him, he’ll be here in an hour but Mr. Park can be discharged this afternoon.”

Dara gave her smile though it felt like it would crack in her face. “Thank you.”

She left the nurses’s station without looking back at the two gossipng nurses. Yes, the truth really hurts. She wished she had just lived the rest of her life in a complete lie.

She should’ve left those damn checks alone.

Taking her dad home without breaking into tears was a feat. Her father was so animated the whole ride and looked ecstatic to be back home though he’s ignoring the personal nurse that Dara had hired for him. The nurse had guided him into his bed and Dara watched him with her arms crossed. “Easy on being too happy, dad,” Dara tried to joke eventhough her heart is not in it. “You might bust a vein there somewhere.”

“Can an old man be cheerful?” her dad asked as he lifted his legs up on his bed.

“Oh so now you are an old man?”

“Only when it fits my narrative,” his dad countered.

Dara rolled h