THE GIRL WHO SNORES

Every night, whenever I suddenly woke up to go to the toilet, or simply didn’t feel restless enough to keep my eyes shut, I heard snoring.

Yes, my darlings, snoring.

We all know that snoring is the vibration of respiratory structures and the resulting sound due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping. That’s the definition, as they say, but it doesn’t prepare you for the actual thing.

It is kind of funny, for the outsiders at least, when you mention that every night the sounds are different. Sometimes it happens according to some sort of rhythm and you pretty much know when to expect another sound, other times it is disorganized and you try to keep track, but find it impossible to do.

When you have to deal with something every day, you even make a research on it. There are illustrations on the Internet, almighty Google helps me every time, that shows how people snore in different countries. How crazy is that?

For instance, in Bulgaria the sound is similar to: HURRRRRR.

In France it is: Ron Pchi.

Vietnam – Kho Kho.

Poland – CHRRR.

Japan – Gu Gu.

The last example was how Koreans do it, and the sound is similar to: De Reu Rung.

Was that any helpful in my case? NO. OF COURSE NOT. Are those people crazy and think it is some sort of joke?  I wouldn’t know how to describe the sounds I’m hearing but it is definitely something more like this: “ZZZ-ZZzzz-hngGGggh-Ppbhww- zZZzzzZZ . . .” with a million addition sounds that almost makes you imagine worst case scenarios that only happen in horror movies.

Never in my life I thought, there will be a day when I will try to understand what kind of snoring I’m hearing, but that day come.

It came when I met the love of my life – Kim Taeyeon.

xxx

Ironically, she was, or should I say is, a petite looking girl that can’t barely run or stand against strong wind, she has the most expressive eyes and cute dimple smile. She’s like a dream come true… during the day, of course. At night, it might turn into a nightmare. Oh bloody hell… I’m getting ahead of myself.

The thing is… Taeyeon appeared like an angel. Blondie, small, adorable, kid-like. During our first date she even sat with her hands folded (as a lady), wore very bland nail polish, and almost undetectable makeup. You would never have imagined that such cutie could produce such sounds.

But she knew her way around… I am an extrovert, there are no obstacles in my way – only that Kim Taeyeon made me weak. After our third date, I was planning on hugging her. I did that every single time to show our closeness, also because I didn’t want to rush and wasn’t sure what she thinks about taking another step, but something was off. I could tell. Instead of a hug, she stretched her hand ahead and smiled awkwardly.

“What’s the matter?” I asked confused. I was confused, for me it appeared that everything went well. That we were getting closer every day. Constant text messages only proved my theory.

Instead of an explanation, she smiled apologetically “there is something you don’t know about me yet… it would change everything. I like…like you a lot, Fany. I don’t think I could handle rejection well… so… it is better to leave it as it is… before… before we took another step into this relationship.”

“What? No! I mean… aren’t we two in this relationship! What is the reason? Can’t you at least tell me? It is not fair!”

Taeyeon sigh, defeated. I don’t know why, but sometimes I believe that it was a sneaky way from her side. This little sleeping devil might as well planned all of this from the very start.

“The thing is… I snore… not every night… I…I’m not sure when it happens since I can’t actually hear or control myself, only other people told me of this… but that is a problem, Fany. Believe me… I tried consulting a specialist. I had even had a surgery, but it only made it worse.”

“That’s it?” I asked confused. Oh… my young, naive, confused self… I looked so differently at the world. Always so hopeful… you could have called me hopeless romantic, I wouldn’t have denied it.

“That’s a lot… I don’t think you can actually handle it.”

For me – this sounded as a challenge. “I can handle it. It is not a problem. That can’t be a reason to end this! It just can’t! I like you a lot too. It is not a problem!”

Taeyeon smiled and kissed me then. It felt like I made the right choice and got a reward. I was determined and didn’t actually believe that her snoring can be a trouble. Oh… but sleepless night did prove otherwise.

xxx

It took us some time to take another step and until that time I still had no idea how bad her snoring can be. I noticed her friends worried glances at me sometimes, as if they counted the days until I leave Taeyeon. No one spoke up, but they say that body language usually tells about a person more than any words that come from their mouth.

It didn’t discourage me though and truth be told… I certainty didn’t hear any snoring during our first night together… maybe there weren’t enough sleeping involved, or maybe because Taeyeon managed to tire me off. She succeeded at that a lot of times… and I even considered that maybe she was overreacting and it just something that happens once in a a two months… it was her only weakness after all. I believed that Taeyeon was just too self conscious about it.

The hopeless romantic in me also realized that I’m falling in love, stronger than ever before… and you know what happens when you fall in love, right? You walk around looking at everything through pink glasses and yes, I admit, it is very good to have pink glasses in a combination to other accessories of female clothes. Pink is my color. Pink – is life. But in this case I looked through pink glasses in naive perception of an objective reality. I saw perfection and forgot about the flaw.

xxx

Some time in our rel