Byulyi's POV

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It's been almost half an hour since she arrived, but nothing coming from except the countless of sighs. She was just sitting there, staring blankly at the foods served on our table, while I do nothing but sitting across the table.

I spend all the minutes passed to staring at her and examine her figures. I noticed that she's gotten skinnier. Her eyes were dead. Her smiles were disappeared. And it's all my fault. As well as I hate to judge myself that high for had a huge impact on her life, but sadly I was. I, Moon Byulyi was the one who made this once bright sun became dimly dead. I stole her shine away. 

I chuckled bitterly reminiscences how the situation was a complete opposite years ago. How her eyes would shine every time she took a glance on me. How she will emit her contagious laugh over my silly jokes. How her hands will automatically find its way to mine and how it perfectly intertwined together. 

"Byul-ah, there's this guy named Minsoek. You did remember him, right? You had met him couples of times..."  She finally spoke. I do know him, and I feel a sudden pang of ache knowing where it's going to. 

"He had confessed to me..." Yeah, there it goes. "I haven't given him my answer yet. Do you think I should give him a chance?"

I will be so much a hypocrite if I said she should. I can't stand her being with anyone else. I am just being that selfish. She had told me about her turning down couples of guys whose hitting on her. I am not surprised to hear countless of guys attracted to her, she was indeed beautiful. I was such a luckiest person on earth for once had her in my life. I hardly believed the fact that she just said 'yes' without a doubt when I confessed to her. What did I do to deserve this gorgeous woman. If someone asks me what the definition of perfection is, then my answer will be one simple word. Perfection is her. Kim Yongsun. 

But yeah, as much as this kind of subject  hurt my heart so bad, I do want her for being happy. That's why I kind of had a mixed feeling every time she told me that she turned them down. I am happy because it shows how much she love me that she couldn't even moving on after all this time. But its saddens me at the same times by how much the pain I left for her. She shouldn't be like this. She should be happy and for the sake of her happiness I would let her find someone else that could give her that. Even if it means my heart would shatter into million pieces. 

I've met Minseok couples of times. He was Yongsun's work-mate and I met him by a chance at times I fetch her at her workplace. I barely know him, but my impression of him tells me that he was a good person. A man with an honor. Maybe he can give her the happiness that I couldn't. Maybe he was the one who can draw back the beautiful smiles on her lips. She deserved it. She deserves all the happiness and all the good things happened in this world. And the good things means excluding me. I leave her. I made her cry. I am that bad. I don't deserve her love. 

"Then you should give him a try. It's worth a shot. He loved you all this time right? I surprised he just confessed right now." The words leaving my tongue just tasted bitter.

"And it's been more than 3 years, Yongsun-ah. Like they've said, you have to move on. You can't be like this forever. I can't stand you suffer yourself like this." That's so hypocrite of me, cos I myself couldn't even moving on.

"You know what..." She continued. "I had told myself to give them a chance. To start a new life. To be loved and love someone else. But how could I do so when my heart and my mind are full of you." Please stop Yongsun-ah, did you intend to make me felt guiltier than I already am?

"Why did you leave me, Byulyi-ah?" She was trying hard to fight back the tears that's ready to streaming down her face anytime. Yeah, I leave her. She didn't have to remind me of that.

"It's not like I have a choice." I muttered. I once promised that I will never leave her no matter what. But it left as an empty promise. I did leave her. I hate myself for doing so, but once again, I didn't have any choice at all. 

"You know how it's hard for me, right?" She asked. Didn't she know how hard it was for me too?

"They said time would heal, but it's been 3 years and I don't feel like any better. The wound you left still fresh open like it was made just yesterday." 

I gasped when she lifts her head and look straight into my direction. That was when she finally breaks down. Her tears flowing down like a river. Seeing her like this was breaking me as well. How I wish I could wipe those tears, hold her hand, kiss her and tell her how much I am sorry. But sadly, I can't.

I am sorry Yongsun-ah....

Yongsun's POV

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Wheein greeted me as I walk my heels entering her cafe. She gave me a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Her dimple wasn't as deep as it used to be, and it's enough for me to say that she didn't really pleased to see me here. But I couldn't blame her. I understand why. I don't bother as I keep walking to my usual spot on the far corner of this cafe. To our usual spot.

It's been my favourite cafe for quite a while. No, I used to call it as our favourite since she really loves this place. We used to drop a regular visit here at least once in a month. I still did that up until now, even after all that happened between us.

This place had witnessed so much of our good memories that I would cherish forever. I know I looked so pathetic for doing this. That's why Wheein was hardly approving me visiting her cafe. She even told me once to stop doing this silly thing. She became our friend after our countless visit to her place, and she just one of the many that keep reminding me how miserable I was, told me to move on and forgetting about her like it was that easy. I scoffed every time they told me that. Who are they to told me so. Had they ever been left by someone dearest the most? They couldn't relate unless they're going through the same pain.

I plopped myself at my regular table and proceed to order my regular. Wheein's cafe was doing fine, but it's usually has only a few visitors at this hour. Just like today. I glanced over the seat across the table. Her seat. I heaved my deepest sigh as my heart felt heavy all of sudden. I was doing nothing but sighed for almost half an hour that feels like forever. The silence is killing me. She was killing me.

"Byul-ah, there's this guy named Minsoek. You did remember him, right? You had met him couples of times..." I finally managed to spoke. "He had confessed to me..." I paused, thinking if I should talk about him any further. He was my work-mate. He knew about my relationship with Byulyi and he knew that I've been single for more than 3 years now. They've met couples of times when she fetches me on my workplace on the days we're still together. 

It's funny how Minsoek and Byulyi kind of resemble each other. I even joked that I didn't mind if someday Byulyi leave me cause I could just date her long lost twin. Now I know it's not funny at all.

"I haven't given him my answer yet. Do you think I should give him a chance?"

It was rhetorical. I knew it too well that after Byulyi, I never could give my heart to any other person ever again. My heart would never beat as fast. My body never been longing for their presence as much as I longed for her. Even the glimpse of her shadow or a heard of her voice could ignite the sparks in me. That was unhealthy, I knew it. May be if I didn't love her that much then the scar she left when she leave me wouldn't be this severe.Three years, and the pain never been lessened. 

"You know what... I had told myself to give them a chance. To start a new life. To be loved and love someone else. But how could I do so when my heart and my mind are full of you."

"Why did you leave me, Byulyi-ah?" My sight become blurry due to my glassy eyes. "You know how it's hard for me, right? They said time would heal, but it's been 3 years and I don't feel like any better. The wound you left still fresh open like it was made just yesterday." 

I lift my head and set my eyes straight onto her seat. And I can't take it anymore. The pain in my chest just too much. Tears keep rolling down my cheeks as I cried my heart out. She was supposed to be sitting there like she always do. Gazing at me with her sparkling eyes and telling me how much she loves me. But that wasn't the case today. Instead of her beautiful face, I was greeted by the empty air. I've been talking to nothing. She wasn't there. The seat was empty. Her seat was empty. It's always been empty since she left me three years ago. 

How I wish that night never been happened. I really want to believe it was just a nightmare that would vanish once I open my eyes. But no, the accident that night was real. Byulyi was there when a tragic car crash happened. Her body flew meters away and landed on the hard asphalt when a car driven by an underaged driver lose its control, failed to make a break and hits her who was standing on the roadside while waiting for a cab. She passed away eventually as the impact of the hit and the fall were too severe. At least that was what the police told me. I couldn't even bring myself to hear the detail.

How am I supposed to handle the lose. Even up until now I still didn't know how to. It was too sudden. She's my everything. She promised me to never leave me but she breaks her promise. Never been flashed in my mind that someday she would have gone, and It drives me crazy when she did.

Somehow I wonder if it would just better if I gone just like her. Because I was dead anyway. I live but lifeless without her. There's no way I could live a life in a place she wasn't there. The accident was not only took her life, but it's also taken mine as well.

So, maybe it's time for me to end all of this pain. It's not that I never thought about it. It flashed in my mind frequently, but now my determination just grew stronger.

I grabbed my bag and leave the cafe. I spotted Wheein on my way out and I gave her my sweetest smile. The smile that I forgot how to form it. 

Good bye Wheein. This will be my last visit here.

Byul-ah, please waiting for me there.