This chapter wasn't beta read.

We are only human

It's okay to feel hopeless and lost

Believe me

But that doesn't mean you've lost

The battle can't be won without you

Believe me

If you ever feel so

Small and lowly

If you ever feel like

Fallin' down beneath the ground

Don't ever forget

Live your life

it's there

Your world is

It will be yours

That's it.

Don't be afraid, no more

Nothing can bring you down

So live your life

(Day6 - Live your life)

Jinki’s pulse was beating so fast that it was almost like a painful drum inside him. He rushed through the corridor and only stopped when he reached the room where supposedly Nari was. She could only receive one visit since she was sharing it with another patient. Someone was with her already and Jinki suspected that it was Jonghyun, therefore he couldn't go in. Fortunately, Jinki was lucky to find a friend of his, a doctor that allowed him to break the rules and go up to see her.

He stepped into the room ignoring the first bed where an old woman laid down, an oxygen mask covering most of her features. And then in the second one was Nari. He stood in the middle of the room and Jonghyun, the man sitting on a chair beside her bed, raised his eyes to him.

Nari seemed small, fragile, different from the Nari he knew, the lively one that was full of color. Her skin was pale and an IV bag was connected to her arm, drawing a transparent liquid into her, her face was tiny under an oxygen mask that was helping her breathe, a monitor was beeping measuring her heart rhythm, and her brown hair was sprawled over the pillow, the only bit of color in her now. He stepped closer and approached the bed.

His heart was going to explode and he moved his fingers powerless. He couldn't help her, he couldn't do anything to take the pain away from her.

“Is she sleeping?” Jinki whispered and Jonghyun rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“Is she?” Jinki ignored the question. He had to know why her eyes were closed.

“She is still unconscious. So in a way, yes she is sleeping.” Jonghyun watched how Jinki moved his fingers over her hand as if she was going to break if he used too much force. “The doctor says she is better. That with the oxygen and the medicine she is taking is a matter of time until she wakes up. She is just tired, her body I mean.”

She did seem tired and Jinki touched her cheek next. Jonghyun crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Jinki impatiently. What were his intentions? One time he was breaking up with her the other he was acting as a protagonist of a lame drama pining on her and treating her as if she was all he had.

“She is cold, her skin is cold.” Jinki remarked pulling away.

“Well, this room isn't the warmest and after what she went through it's probably normal. Her body temperature must be adjusting.”

“The room is cold!” Jinki repeated to himself and Jonghyun raised one eyebrow.

“She will be alright.” He stood up from the chair “But you didn't answer my question. What are you doing here? Did you come to play with her feelings again, even when she is sick?”

“Playing? No.” he shook his head livid. How could Jonghyun believe that he would try to hurt her again, moreover when she was like that? She did tell him last time they met that she would probably be the first one to go. The words seemed ominous now and he wished he had done things differently back then. He still could, she was still there, her heart was beating just fine according to the monitor “I'm serious about her.”

It was a sudden decision, deep down he knew that it would lead to that, ever since he left his apartment after knowing the news. No, it started before when he went back to her room that night when they almost had , having a change of heart that didn't lead to anything, and Nari knew. She knew he had feelings for her and eventually he would come to realize it too. That unfortunate accident was only the last push towards that decision.

“You are serious?” Jonghyun scoffed.

“Yes. I like her, very much.” Jonghyun groaned but Jinki ignored his disapproval. He couldn't blame him for not trusting him.

“Thank you. Sora said that you saved her.”

“I didn't save her. I…” he swallowed hard, the memory too painful. He thought it was the end, that she would die in his arms “I did CPR until the ambulance arrived. It wasn't working though. They managed to reanimate her after with a defibrillator and by giving her oxygen. A few more minutes and god knows what would have happened.”

They would have lost her.

Jinki didn't speak and Jonghyun didn't dare to look at his expression “It was awful. To see them use the defibrillator on her, the painful seconds until her body reacted and her heart beat again. It is just…” His head hung down and he rubbed his eyes with his hands.

“Still. Thank you.”

“As if you have to thank me!” Jonghyun answered a bit more aggressively but regretted it immediately when he saw Jinki's pale face and how he was grabbing Nari’s hand softly, his eyes a little moist. Was he going to cry on him? Jinki was acting weird. “You don't have to.” Jonghyun lowered his voice and spoke more gently “She is my sister, my family. I would do anything to protect her, always.”

“I know.” Jinki’s lips moved into what seemed to be a smile, a weak representation of his smiles. He knew that, since Nari wouldn't stop talking about his beautiful smiles. Jinki did have a beautiful smile, much like Eunsook. The thought that that idiot had a similar smile to the woman he liked disgusted him.

“Where is her doctor?” Jinki asked after a while.

“Probably home, it's kinda late.”

Jinki placed Nari’s hand on the bed again, as if it was porcelain, and stepped back.

“I'm going to search for him. I need to know more about her condition. I'm also going to ask for them to move her to a private room. You will both be more comfortable, she will be able to get more visits and hopefully, it will be warmer. I'm paying for anything she might need.”

“She might be a bit upset when she wakes up. I mean you spending money on her like that after you two breaking up. We don't have much money but enough to guarantee that she will be treated.” Either that or she would be dancing of happiness knowing that he worried about her.

“I know, but I prefer it that way if you don't mind. And if she gets mad I don't care. She needs to get the best treatment. And it's better if she gets mad, it's a sign that she has the strength to be.”

Jonghyun smiled, liking Jinki’s point of view. Jinki sent her a last longing look and then, once he left, Jonghyun stood up and leaned over Nari's body.

“Wake up Nari.” he whispered in her ear “You won't believe what is waiting for you. The idiot loves you after all. “ he pulled away to watch her face but nothing seemed to change. Jonghyun caressed her temple gently. “You were right all along, he loves you.”

Nari didn't wake up for several hours and once she did she was so drowsy and in pain that she didn't even recognize them. The doctor decided to sedate her until she was able to breathe for herself. Eventually, morning came and Jinki had to go back to work. He asked Jonghyun to inform him once any change happened and after lunchtime, Sora arrived.

As soon as the presentation ended, almost a disaster because she was too nervous, she immediately drove back and went directly to the hospital.

Now they sat on chairs, one on each side of Nari observing her sleeping form.

“That bad?” Jonghyun asked using his hand to support his head.

For the last minutes, Sora was telling him about what happened while she was away, she told him everything about Taemin and her struggle to accept that to have him she would have to give up on her revenge.

Nari was usually the one she went to when she wanted to talk about men, but Jonghyun was the only one who knew about her desire to get revenge. She had to talk with someone or she would explode and she knew she could trust him.

“I forgot about everything I was supposed to say. I had a huge headache for not being able to sleep and for crying and I couldn't stop worrying about Nari and Taemin...he was there staring at me on stage. It was awful.”

Jonghyun nodded, seeming as tired as she was. After all, he spent the whole night in the hospital with Jinki.

“But then it all came to me and I entered professional mode and did it. I think it went well. Taemin says it did but…” She trailed off “We are less than coworkers now. He barely shared a word with me this morning and after we arrived in Seoul he just wished Nari a fast recovery and told me I could take some days off. Just that…”

“You can't expect much more from him after what happened.”

Sora knew Jonghyun was right but it was hard to not want more. She leaned back on the chair and bit her lower lip.

“Jonghyun…I fell for him.”

His head was nodding with sleep but that woke him up and he strengthened his back on the chair.

“That’s a surprise.”

“That I like him?”

“No, that I knew, but that you are admitting it.” Jonghyun chuckled and Sora looked away, her cheeks slightly pinkish. “If you love him then follow your heart. Life is so short…”

Both looked at Nari’s motionless body and silence seemed to drag.

“I'm going to hurt him and it's going to kill me.”

“Will you? What says that your heart won't heal until then that maybe you give up on this revenge.”

“I won't.” Sora groaned, rubbing her neck frustrated and tired “I know me.”

“Do you, really?” Jonghyun eyed the comfortable couch by the window. The room Jinki was paying for Nari was way more convenient and he took a quick nap during the night there. He wanted to take another nap but Sora needed him. “I wonder if you do. You take yourself so poorly and you aren't as bad as you think or Nari wouldn't have befriended you or I wouldn't have loved you.”

That was the first time he said the words out loud and if that was said a year ago he was sure his body would be reacting in another way, his face would be flushed, his heart would be beating fast. Now it was just a memory.

Sora looked at him apologetically but not surprised “Jonghyun…”

“I don't anymore, you know that. We are just friends. But I'm sure that two handsome amazing guys with good hearts like me and Taemin wouldn't have fallen for you if you were a bad !”

Sora laughed out loud and then covered eyeing Nari. They both looked at the girl and then laughed together even louder because all they wanted was for her to wake up after all. The sedative was losing its effectiveness and she seemed better.

Sora cleaned the tears of her eyes, a result of the laughter but also from exhaustion and hopelessness. “What do you think that she would advise me doing?”

Jonghyun hummed looking at Nari. She was still pale but way better than she was during the night. “I'm sure she would tell you to date the hot guy.”

Sora laughed again and hugged herself, tears falling down her cheek while she looked at her friend. She would for sure tell her to be with Taemin, to be happy with him, to live her life. So ironic that the person that had more will to live and desire to be happy was the one that almost lost it all. Or maybe that was the reason she saw things like that because she knew how life could be short.

“To be happy.” Sora completed “That that is the only reason we are here, to make happy memories.”

Jonghyun agreed and his eyes got a little humid.

“If I do this and I break his heart…” Sora swallowed, tears dropping from her eyes.

“Tell him.” Jonghyun suggested.

“Are you crazy? I can't tell him…”

“Not now, someday. No relationship is built on a lie. Sooner or later you will have to tell him about you and what motivated you all these years. Meanwhile, warn him about how big of a decision he is making if he decides to be with you. How this might end badly. Well, I'm sure he knows there are risks. It's not like all relationships end happily ever after. Probably a selected few of them do.”

“Well, mine will be worse.” She sniffed “I'm using him to get closer to his father and find something to destroy him!”

“Are you?” Sora was working in that company for a while now and Jonghyun never saw her do anything to cause any type of loss to it. “I mean maybe the idea crossed your mind but you haven't used Taemin in any way. Did you approach him with that idea? Did you seduce him for that?”

“No.” She didn't even know who he was when they first slept together and the thought that maybe she could use him came later when she was already falling for him. “Since the start, I was like a magnet being pulled to him. I truly..towards him...I..” the words were stuck on her chest and she stuttered in pain, her eyes burning with tears.

“Save the confession for him.” Jonghyun said gently, both knowing that she made her decision already.

Sora bent over Nari’s body carefully and grabbed Jonghyun's hand. “Thank you.”

“You must thank her too. She was the one who told you to live your life!” Jonghyun replied, moving his chin in the direction of Nari. Sora chuckled and grabbed Nari’s hand too. Jonghyun grabbed her other hand and they made their rather silly unusual circle of hand holding. Nari would be proud but they felt ridiculous, still, they stood like that for a while.

“It's been the three of us for a while, isn't it?” Jonghyun remarked, filling the silence.

“Our family.” That's what she would have said “Nari’s family.” Nari lost her parents but she didn't lose time finding a new family. Sora choke up and tears run down her face “I don't want her to leave us.”

“She won't.” Jonghyun squeezed her hand “She is getting better. The doctor said that soon she will be breathing by herself. I don't think she would miss you finally being cheesy in love for anything in the world!”

Sora agreed, breaking the circle to take a paper tissue from the small side table next to the bed to clean her tears.

“Also me asking Eunsook on a proper date.”

“And Jinki professing his love for her!” Sora added.

“Oh, I'm sure!” Jonghyun chuckled remembering how the man didn't sleep the whole night, staying by her side as if he would save her life if he didn't blink.

“Did he really say that he loved her?”

“More or less that.” Jonghyun inclined over the bed “Sora you should have seen the way he was looking at her. He paid for this room, he held her hand, kissed her fingers if she was a princess that he was saving. It was surely out of a drama like the ones she loves.”

Sora smiled gladly. Maybe this time Nari would love and be loved in return. “If anyone deserves a drama happy ending it's her.”

“Yes.” Jonghyun agreed, sitting back on the chair groaning because his back hurt “I'm sure that she will have one.”

Jinki checked his phone and placed it over the table of the fancy restaurant.

The business lunch he had was over now and if Tae Woon had not insisted he would have headed to the hospital to see Nari. He was indebted to him because he was the one who introduced him to that client, therefore he stayed but he wasn't the best companion for a meal. He spent most of the time humming, giving one-word answers to the questions and impressions Tae Woon spoke to him.

He was more interested in checking his phone for a possible change in Nari’s condition. Jonghyun told him he would text him and he did when the doctors decided to take the oxygen off because her lungs were behaving normally, and the one who said that it was expected that she would wake up soon. It was a matter of time and Jinki wanted to be there as soon as she did. He had so much to tell her and couldn't risk missing his chance again.

He tapped his fingers on the table and Tae Woon smiled noticing yet another sign of how Jinki was anxious.

“Nervous about something?”

Jinki checked his phone again not caring if he was obvious about it. He fought the urge to smoke all day and didn't do it mostly for her, because he knew Nari would hate it. And he only wanted to see her smile, to hear her voice and not cause her any more grief.

“Thinking about someone special?” Tae Woo’s question startled him. He was smiling thinking about her and didn't even notice. “Nari perhaps?”

Jinki sighed. He had grown to hate the way he said her name, it was almost as if he got her name dirty.

“You finished your meal and I need to leave.”

Tae Woon moaned dissatisfiedly and cleaned his mouth on the napkin “Already? Stay a little longer with me. Let's drink and chat. We aren't together ever since that wonderful dinner with Nari.”

Wonderful was the worst word to describe it and it was true Jinki was avoiding his “friends” lately.

“Tell me what you are up to lately. How is Nari?”

Jinki bit his lower lip and looked away. “It's none of your business.”

“Hey! That's not how you talk with an old friend.” Tae-Woon’s tone was playful and Jinki knew he wasn't angry. “I know that last time, my joke was stupid but you know me. If you are serious about this girl and she is serious about you I'll step aside. We don't have to make a competition out of everything, right?”

Jinki didn't answer and sat back on his chair. He knew Tae Woon would give up eventually as soon as it stopped being fun to or Nari but until then he had to be careful.

His phone buzzed and he grabbed it immediately. It was a message from Jonghyun.

“She is smiling brightly. Nari woke up.”

Jinki grinned, got up, and grabbed his coat from the back of the seat.

“Good news?” Tae Woon asked “Where are you going? Aren't you staying?”

“The best news!” Jinki answered before leaving.

“Hey, Jinki!” Tae Woon called for him but he completely ignored him and rushed to his car.

Taemin walked around his bedroom and then sat on his desk, the same one that he had in his room since he was a teen. For a long time he used it for studying, he managed to finish high school with above-average grades even though he wasn't the studious type and liked to spend more time with friends. He got worse after what happened to his brother, and even though he finished college he did the bare minimum to do so. Slowly that desk stopped having books and studying material and became a place where he threw whatever, a mess of games, DVDs, and other kinds of entertainment objects, that is until recently. Now files, books about marketing, some ignored during his time at college others new ones he bought recently, were over it in a precarious pile of information.

If he wasn't spending time with Sora or with Jinki or any of his close friends he was working at that desk. It was his lunchtime, and instead of staying at work or going out to have lunch alone since Jinki was busy and he didn't want to think about Sora, he rode his bike home. After a quick lunch, he was busy highlighting some information in one of the new books. There were so many things he had to learn and he needed to get better desperately. He regretted the times he skipped lectures at college, not reading the material professors sometimes gave them. He blamed his immaturity but above all the pain, frustration, and anger that didn't allow him to realize that he had a life to live even after what happened to his family.

A soft knock on the door made him raise his nose from the book and his mother entered his room.

Taemin stood up a little surprised since it was rare for her to leave her bedroom, at least willingly.

“Mom…”

“Why didn't you go to see me? I didn't even know you came to have lunch.” As always his mother ate in her bedroom so he didn't even think she would notice that he was home.

“I’m studying. I need to go back to work soon.”

His mother approached the desk and looked at the pile of books seeming surprised. “Studying?”

Taemin smiled and proudly nodded “Yes, I had some questions about a situation at work, and...I’ve been researching a bit.”

“Oh.” His mother smiled softly at him and only that and the fact that she left her bedroom to see him was already a victory.

“Do you feel well?” He asked, wanting to hold on to hope.

“I feel better today. Not as tired.”

“That's good. That's really good!” Taemin caressed her shoulder gently and she raised her hand to his cheek. He widened his eyes and his heart tightened. It's been a long time since the last time she showed any sign of care towards him.

“I'm trying hard mom.” Taemin observed, “I want you to be proud of me.”

It was a hard road and maybe he wouldn't ever get the recognition he deserved but he knew he was doing his best and that would have to count too.

“I'm always proud of you.” She said softly and Taemin hugged her burying his head on her neck. She was smaller than him and along the way, he started being the one taking care of her but her arms still felt like a safe place.

She caressed his hair like she did when he was a kid and Taemin closed his eyes. There were so many things he wanted to share with her, how he suffered all those years, how lonely he felt, how he recently started enjoying what he did at the company, Sora and how he was in love for the first time. He couldn't. She was sick and he didn't want to trouble her with his problems.

“You look more and more like your brother.” Her words made him pull away from her embrace. He knew she meant no wrong, saying that but it hurt how it always came down to him.

“I don't want to be like him.”

“What do you mean? Minwoo was such a good boy…”

“Yes, but Minwoo is Minwoo and Taemin is Taemin. I want you and dad to love me because I am me and not someone who reminds you of him!”

“A-are you mad with me?” His mother asked, grasping the sleeve of his sweater.

“No mom, I’m not.” It was too late though, she was already tearing up. Taemin sighed and hugged his mother, this time being the one comforting her. He did the same he did with Sora, lulling his mother in his arms. He was getting good at soothing the women he loved.

“I'm not mad mom. I’m just doing something with my life.” Something that would make him proud even if it didn't reach his parents and Sora. At least he tried.

He was finally turning a new page on his life.

Unfortunately, Jinki wasn't able to drive to the hospital immediately to see Nari. He received a phone call from the company as soon as he left the hotel and had to go solve some problems. It took him more than two excruciating painful hours but finally, he was walking down the hallway of the hospital and entered her bedroom that to his surprise was empty.

After a few minutes of panic, he learned that Nari was allowed to come outside of her room for a few minutes and was sitting with other patients in the small recreation room of the respiratory department. Jinki didn't like the idea that she was out of bed already but the nurse assured him that it was only for a short time, she was in a wheelchair, and was still taking her medicine through an IV drip. Besides allowing her to leave her bedroom for a while was a way to raise her mood too.

Jinki wasn't that convinced but didn't lose much time discussing that with the nurse and followed to the recreation room. He hadn't even entered it when he heard her voice. It made him hesitate outside the room. It was weaker than he remembered but he couldn't ever mistake it for any other. It was his Nari, she was there, alive, conscious and his stomach twisted with longing and anxiety. It wasn't easy to look at her when she was sick laying in a hospital bed and all he wanted was for her to look back at him, to speak to him and now he was a pile of nerves, like a silly boy that could meet his crush for the first time after he confessed. Surely Jonghyun told her about him, about how he stayed by her side the whole night. Jinki wondered how she felt about it. He heard her voice again, closed his eyes, and filled his lungs with air. That was happening and he was going to do it, like an adventurer jumping into uncertainty he stepped into the room.

The first person he saw was Nari and like a blow to his heart, she looked straight back at him. She was smiling softly but not at him but because of something an old man sitting beside her said. They looked like a funny pair, both in wheelchairs, with an IV drip stand beside them, wearing blue hospital gowns and white slippers. The old man had a few strands of white hair on top of his head and a sweet smile which made him look like a typical drama grandfather and Nari’s brown hair was caught into a braid that surely was made by Sora, a few strands falling from it. She also had a white knitted coat over her gown and a blanket covering her legs.

Jinki approached her, his mind blank, and his heart full. He had so many things to tell her but everything seemed to vanish now that she was in front of him safe, however, his heart was doing a whole percussion concert inside his chest.

“Jinki.” her voice was hoarse but her cheeks were pinkish and she looked healthier than she did the last time he saw her. The way she said his name almost made him kneel at her feet. When he realized, that was exactly what he was doing which made Nari widen her eyes surprised.

“Your suit, you're going to get it dirty…”

He wasn't sure if Jonghyun told her anything but if he didn't he would.

Nari chuckled and the old man stared at Jinki curiously. He didn't care that the others in the room noticed his downfall and that he admitted his defeat. He surrendered, he could no longer fight what he felt. It scared him but not as much as it scared him losing her. There was no way out now, not when she defeated all his defenses when he fell into her trap like a mouse.

“Nari.” He grabbed her hand, caressing her fingers, delighted that they were not cold anymore. On the contrary, they were warm and that only made that even more real.

“Your boyfriend?” the old man asked and Nari moved her eyes to him and then back to Jinki. He didn't say anything but he couldn't hope for anything less.

“No.” her words hurt a little but he couldn't expect things to change suddenly without them having a proper conversation “A friend.” She blushed looking down at the way he held her hand over her lap, kneeling at her feet like a knight in front of a princess offering his life to her.

“Are you feeling better?” Jinki asked gently and she nodded.

“Yes, much stronger.”

“No pain?”

She touched her chest as if going to check “No pain!”

“Good.” he sighed of relief and then laid his head exhausted on her lap over the blanket. Nari blinked her eyes surprised but almost immediately caressed his hair lovingly. It has been a while since she was able to do that and she couldn't let that chance go.

“Are you tired?”

He was going to answer when the old man laughed. Jinki raised his eyes to look at him.

“Looks like a boyfriend to me.”

Nari pressed her lips together and Jinki did not correct him also. The old man grabbed the wheels of his chair.

“Need help?” Jinki offered.

“No, my ride his coming!” A nurse approached the old man and Nari and Jinki watched in silence while he was pushed away back to his room.

“He is a nice man.” Nari said “Might leave the hospital tomorrow.” she informed Jinki. His knees were hurting and now that they were alone he could talk with her. He grabbed one empty chair from a table where two old men were playing dominoes and sat beside her grabbing her hand again. She didn't seem to mind that he claimed her hand as his.

“You said we need to talk. About?”

Jinki stared at her nervously and hesitated a few times not knowing how to start. That was new to him. He was never the one getting nervous, that role was hers but that was when they were in his safe zone when they were talking about skinship and things that were easy to him. Feelings were her specialty, not his.

“You probably should go back to bed. Your hands are getting colder and you are still taking medicine. Did you even eat?”

“A little. The medicine makes me nauseated.”

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the inside of her wrist which made her flustered again. She would have to get used to that because he wasn't going to let go of her again.

“I’m really fine. You don't have to worry.” She comforted him. Sora and Jonghyun were also acting weird around her. They celebrated when she woke up. Jonghyun hugged her so tightly that he even hurt her. He apologized hundred of times after and she thanked him for doing CPR on her. Sora told her everything that happened while she was asleep, about Taemin and her decision and she even braided her hair and treated her like a little sister. She also told her about Jinki but besides knowing that he spent the night at the hospital she refused to tell her more. Jonghyun was the same. They were hiding something from her but from the way Jinki was acting it wasn't far from what she hoped that would happen.

“You almost died.” Jinki released her hand and caressed her cheek instead.

“Technically I did die. The second time I defeat death.” Nari said, raising a fist into the air “I’m truly strong!”

She did look very fragile to him but maybe she was right. Still listening to her talk about death like that hurt.

She probably noticed it in his expression because she lowered her arm “I didn't. I'm here, alive.”

“I know.” Jinki looked around the room suddenly realizing that something, or rather someone was missing. He also didn't see him in her room. “Where is Jonghyun?”

“He went to rest. He was exhausted and Sora went home to get me some clothes and things I asked.” Nari sighed and pouted slightly, “It was hard to make them leave me alone but they need to rest. I must stay for a few days. It's quite stupid because I truly feel much better.”

“Did they tell you that I…”

“Yes. They told me that you stayed the night. Also about the room. Thank you but you truly didn't have to. I know that you might feel sorry towards me and want to help but I'm repaying you.”

“I don't want that and I'll be mad if you do!” He rubbed his temple. “I don't feel sorry. I didn't do it because of that.”

“Then why?”

Jinki tilted his head observing her. Was she that clueless about what he felt? No, she wanted him to tell her. She had to be sure.

“Nari…” he was going to grab her hand but a male nurse approached them. He was tall and a very attractive man, with a warm skin tone, black hair, and looked more out of a catalog of male models than a nurse.

“Isn't it time for you to go back to your room?” he asked Nari, pushing her chair. She held on to the IV stand and Jinki followed while the nurse pushed her back to her room.

He made some jokes and flirted a little and the way back to the room seemed to take hours rather than minutes. Jinki would have frowned all the way there but he was too nervous thinking about what he would say to her once they were alone again. Above all, he was happy that he got the chance to tell her everything he has been hiding from her and himself.

Sora started placing all the clothes she chose for Nari inside a bag. She didn't need many things since she had to wear the hospital gown while she stayed there. But she still needed underwear and a coat to keep her warmer and some other things. And of course her laptop so she wouldn't be bored. They were not certain about how long she would have to stay but just in case Sora chose some clothes for the day she would be discharged from the hospital. Maybe some snacks too, surely Nari would feel happier if she could eat some candy.

The bag was almost full now and only the food was missing. Sora rubbed her head and before she left for the kitchen she grabbed the plastic bag she brought from the hospital. Inside were the clothes Nari was wearing when it all happened. Sora hesitated, looking inside the bag. The clothes were dirty with huge pinkish stains from the detergent but besides that they were alright. She pulled the shirt Nari was wearing from inside the bag and moved her fingers over the buttons. One was missing.

“That's my fault.” Jonghyun affirmed from behind her and Sora turned around. He was supposed to be resting. “When I did CPR on her….it came off.”

“Where is it?”

“Somewhere on the floor of the kitchen. Yejoon will find it.” When Sora arrived she found the man cleaning the water and detergent from the kitchen floor. Jonghyun didn't tell her but he probably asked him to do it, unable to look at it any more than he did already. It was painful and Sora was thankful she didn't witness it.

“Alright. Then I'll sew it back.” Sora placed the shirt back on the bag. She had to do the laundry later.

“Well, did you pack all she needs?” Jonghyun asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Pretty much. Only some snacks and candy are missing. Shouldn't you be resting?”

“I slept a little. I’ll take that to Nari.”

“Why?” Sora pulled the zipper of the bag.

“You have something important to do!”

“I do?”

He took the bag from her hand and Sora’s brows drew together, not understanding what he meant.

“Don't you have to confess to a certain someone?”

She swallowed hard, the memory of Taemin’s angry and disappointed expression crossing her mind. She was scared he wouldn't even speak to her, after all, he ignored the text she sent him saying she was sorry and had to talk with him. He also overlooked her call that morning.

“He barely looked at me after the presentation and I tried calling him and texting him but it seems like he is ignoring me. I hurt him deeply.” She rubbed her arm looking away. It wasn't the first time she broke up with someone. In the past, she had made her share of heartbroken ex-boyfriend but Taemin was different and not only because they didn't even get to be a couple, but because she cared this time around.

“Keep trying. Don't give up! As I recall he didn't stop pursuing you when you two met?”

He was so annoying back then and she hated him. She detested how she kept seeing him everywhere she went, how he always found a way to sweep her off her feet, either by being extremely attractive and y or for being kind and adorable. Jonghyun was right, maybe this was her time to go after him.

Sora pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and called him. She let it rang while Jonghyun watched her patiently.

“Nothing.” Sora let her hand fall and pressed her lips together.

“Maybe he is busy.” Jonghyun tried to cheer her up but she knew best.

“No, I'm sure he is avoiding me. He is upset and it's normal.

"I keep pushing and pulling! It must make him insane!”

“Alright, what's the plan?” Jonghyun asked and Sora bit the inside of her cheek thinking.

“Attack!” All that time she always played defense while he attacked her. She thought that she would be able to catch him that way by tiring him up. Apparently, she caught him differently than she expected, only to lose him again. “I must attack now!”

Jonghyun chuckled “And how are you going to do that?”

“I'm going to march into the company, inside his office, and make him see how I am an idiot, an idiot that loves him.”

“Seems like a good plan!”

Sora blushed and sat over Nari’s bed suddenly her legs becoming weak. Even though her heart was pumping with energy she felt lightheaded. Was she really going to do that?!

“Wow, I don't think I ever saw your cheeks that pink. The only exception is when you are drunk.”

“Ah shut up!”

Jonghyun laughed again “So what are you waiting for?”

“For you to confess to your muse?”

“A-ah what?!” It was Jonghyun’s time to get flushed and Sora smiled.

“What are you waiting for? I'm only going to attack after you do!”

Jonghyun sighed and pulled his phone from the pocket of his hoodie. Mumbling a weak alright he sat on the bed beside Sora. He never, ever called her and he was nervous and trying to think about what to say.

“Take a deep breath,” Sora suggested and he did as she said. “Go for it.”

“I'll tell her to meet after I bring Nari her clothes.”

“Seems like a good idea.”

“You know, when I met you and my crush started I never thought that someday we would be doing this, driving each other into a relationship with someone else.” He rubbed his hair and moved his fingers over the screen of his phone.

“Destiny is a funny thing.”

“I guess so.”

He unblocked his phone and searched for Eunsook’s name. Sora watched him while he hesitated moving his finger over the screen.

“Just call her already!” Sora scolded him and he nodded.

“Yes, yes!”

Sora guided his finger to Eunsook's name so that he made the call. He panicked a little when it started ringing and Sora chuckled.

“Sorry but I'm impatient.” She was afraid she might lose her courage to go after Taemin.

“Are you staying?” Nari asked Jinki and he helped fix the pillow behind her back even though the nurse did already.

“Yes, I'm staying.” As if he would leave her now that he fought so hard to get back to her. She seemed very satisfied with his answer and he fought the urge to pull her into his arms again.

She wasn't receiving intravenous medicine anymore and if she wasn't in a hospital bed no one would tell that she was sick since she was smiling brightly.

“Nari, you know that nurse…”

“The one who brought me back to the bedroom just now?”

“Yes, he seemed very close to you.” He didn't like it that much.

“Oh, yeah but I met him today. He is nice.”

“He isn't nice, he is flirting with you. I wonder if he can do that to patients?! “ Maybe he could ask for the hospital staff rules.

“Oh, he won't as soon as he knows me better.” Jinki frowned “I mean if he saw how I dress in my everyday life and went on a date with me, he would give up immediately!” Jinki’s expression did not change and she looked away.

“What are you saying? I did go on a date with you, several actually and I saw how you dress…”

When she looked back at him he swallowed hard. She was reading behind his words. He didn't give up on her despite all that….which meant?

“I don't think that can stop people from loving you.” he added and she nodded moving her fingers over the hospital blanket. He stood beside her trying to decide what he would say first and how he would say it in a way that she would understand but Nari didn't look at him even once, her eyes in the window.

Jinki walked around her bed, took off his coat, placed it over the couch, and sat on it under the window so that she would have to look at him. He watched her while she glanced from him to the sky outside. That could be awkward but wasn't at all.

“Are you bored?” She suddenly asked, “Want to play a game?”

“A game?”

“Yes. I think Sora will bring me some things I asked. Maybe I can ask her to bring a game too. I can call her!”

“You should sleep more, your body is still recovering.”

“I'm not tired.” She said stubbornly “I don't want to sleep. What if I don't…” She looked down and her smile faded and Jinki stood up from the couch and sat on the side of the bed grabbing her hands on his.

“What if you don't what?” He asked gently, already fearing what she would say.

“What if I wake up and realize this was a dream? Or if I don't wake up and I'm already dead and all this time I was in denial.”

He would have laughed at how funny she sounded describing scenes out of movies she watched if it wasn't too painful to hear her say things like that.

“It's not a dream. Who dreams of getting sick and ending up at a hospital? That's a nightmare, not a dream and you aren't dead because I'm much alive and I see you and can touch you. As I recall you can't touch ghosts.”

“It is a dream if you wake up and the person you…” She smiled shyly and looked at their hands. Jinki squeezed them knowing what she meant. “I'm sorry. I know you don't like to talk about this and yet I keep bringing the mood down.”

“You don't have to make an effort to act happy in front of me, it's fine if you share your worries. I really want that.” It was perhaps hypocritical of him to say that when he was the one hiding away everything from her “I'll make an effort to also share with you in the future...what I feel.”

Nari’s eyes widened and he caressed the back of her hands with his thumbs. They were alone and that was the right time to spill everything in his heart to her. He knew that as soon as he started he wouldn't be able to stop.

“But you must promise me something.” He couldn't go through that again “Once you are out of this hospital you are going to take care of yourself for your sake, for your friend’s sake, and my sake. You are going to take your medicine and use your inhaler on time. No more eating food that might get you sick and no running on the rain or other crazy things. Your health is above everything else.”

Nari chuckled and her fingers moved in the middle of his “Are you going to lock me in my room so I don't get into trouble again?”

“Trouble?” Jinki bit his lower lip “No, but a part of me wants to wrap you on bubble wrap and to lock you in a tower.”

Nari snorted and nodded “Good that is only a part of you. So instead, are you going to take care of me? Keep an eye on me so I don't go and defy your orders?”

“It's not an order…” She giggled and Jinki sighed knowing that she was making fun of him “Yes, I'll do my best!”

Nari pulled her hands from his and he raised his eyes from the blanket to her. They were dancing around the topic for a long time now.

“Why?” She wanted to know. She gave him time and yet he still didn't know how to say it.

“I'm on therapy.” he blurted out. It was best to start from the beginning, where everything went wrong.

“You are?” Nari seemed worried now and he smiled gently touching her hand.

“I'm better. I've been on therapy for years since I was a child. I stopped when I was a teenager but recently, actually this week I started again.”

“Why?”

Because of her mostly, because he wanted to get better at dealing with what he felt. Because all he wanted was to be with her.

“I can't tell you everything right now, but I will.” he said quickly. That was part of what he promised, that he would share more “Something happened to me when I was younger. I'm not able to talk freely about it but I was traumatized for a while and I haven't been able to develop a long-lasting relationship with anyone, romantic or not. Honestly, I stopped trying altogether." That explained what Inna once told her, that explained a lot of his behavior until now “I haven't tried for several reasons but mostly because I'm scared to let others in, to lose that person if I do. But I want that to change!”

Nari caressed his cheek and leaned her forehead against his gently closing her eyes “I see.”

He closed his eyes too. She understood him and telling her, took a heavyweight from his chest, one that he learned to live with for many years now. It was good sharing, Dr. Kim was right. It was good to be with her, it made him truly happy, safer.

“I almost lost you Nari.” he cried and she cupped his face and stared into his eyes.

“I promise. I will take care of myself even more from now on. You won't lose me.”

His eyes fell into her lips and his heart overflowed with feelings. He wanted to kiss her so much, he longed for her and being that close, with her warm hands on his skin and her floral scent invading his nostrils he felt as if he was in a world of their own and not a hospital.

“So, you let me in?” She asked, seeming rather proud of herself. That stole a smile from his lips.

“Did I stand a chance?” Since the start, she was merciless breaking all the shields he built around himself. Nari was definitely the stronger player.

“I was very aggressive in my pursuit.”

Jinki chuckled and Nari hugged herself cutely, her lips parting into a huge smile. That was closer to a confession of love than anything else he ever told her. “Do you care about me?” Still, she wanted more.

Jinki pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it again so slowly and with so much feeling that a small gasp left her lips “Very much.” He kissed the back of her hand again and Nari her lips longing for his as much as he longed for hers. “So much that it hurts every time I think about losing you.”

She used her free hand to place it over his chest and he raised one eyebrow amused. How could she be so pure and yet make him so aroused with every small gesture?!

“Does it hurt here?”

God, he wanted to pull her into his arms. If he wasn't so afraid to hurt her he would have. It was taking all of his forces to calm himself down and not commit a madness in a public hospital. “Yes, every time I am apart from you!”

She pulled her hand away and then pressed her lips together watching him delighted. “I knew it!”

She did. She knew it the moment he went back on the day they broke up. His eyes were probably filled with so much love that he gave himself away to her.

“I know that you do.”

He couldn't wait anymore and apparently, she couldn't either because she squeezed his hand hard and as if moved from a spark of energy he bent forward to kiss her. However, Nari pulled away at the last moment. He blinked his eyes dejected but she quickly tugged at the sleeve of his shirt.

“It can't be a game anymore.” There was urgency in her voice. She needed to know that before something else happened before she allowed him back into her life “I'm already on my third life and I don't know how many more I have so I'm treating this one as my last. So this one I intend to live it well.”

Jinki frowned “It isn't a game. I want you more than I ever wanted anyone in my life. I truly like you!”

She read his eyes carefully and he didn't even blink, afraid she wouldn't take him seriously if he did.

“Want me? Like me...for ?”

“Everything, including . You have no idea what that Alice dress did to me.” he rubbed his neck embarrassed but Nari didn't react. “I mean...I like being with you. Of course, I want to have with you but that's not the only thing. I also like…”

“I know.” Nari moved her fingers on the palm of his hand to his wrist that she caressed under the cuff of his shirt. “You liked the dress, really? It's so childish!”

“Childish? I had so many impure thoughts because of it, some worst than your Japanese movies.”

That made her laugh and Jinki sighed relieved that he seemed to be passing that exam.

“You know…” she ed the cuff of his shirt so that she could move her warm fingers slowly over his wrist and to his arm. He watched her, his breathing accelerating because it was so perfect and . For sure she could feel his pulse increasing. He wondered if that wasn't another way to test his affection for her?! “I still have the dress. Maybe I can wear it for you someday.”

“I won't mind it.”

She hummed, her eyes moving from the caresses she was giving on his arm to his eyes and lips and Jinki swallowed hard, his breathing increasing. He couldn't take that torture much longer.

“I still love you.” her words sunk into him and he couldn't help the way his body reacted to it, so similar to what he felt that night. It wasn't panic though it was something different, a deep ache inside him. Her hand was holding his wrist now as if she was afraid that he would run away again, and her eyes were as vulnerable and they were that night, this time even more scared. She wouldn't allow him to run but he didn't want it at all anyway. Jinki didn't move an inch so she kept on “I'm going to say I love you many many times and other cheesy scary things related to love to you.”

Nari waited, watching him again. But besides his eyes getting darker, the only change in his expression was the way his lips moved into a small smile.

“I'll still be me, awkward and embarrassing, with my peculiar fashion sense or lack of it.“ he tilted his head amused, agreeing more with the second option “And I'll be sick often. I'll always be sick once in a while. That's the body I have and there is nothing I can do to avoid it.”

He took a deep breath and pulled the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow and placed her hand over it so that she had more skin to caress. She fluttered her eyes and her hand trembled over his skin.

“I know all that.” he was the one supposedly confessing there.

“You still want me?”

“Yes, very much. And will you still want me even though it might take me a while to say the words you want to hear? Even if I freak out whenever you get sick? Or If I become an once in a while because I'm not good with relationships and don't know how to love a woman properly?”

“I'm sure you know that!” She blushed moving her hand over the muscles of his arms. All those caresses were making his body burn “And as long as you feel it, I don't mind waiting for the words.”

“I see. Then that's it.”

Nari cleared and moved in the bed and he quickly fixed the pillows behind her again. Unfortunately, that ended with her caresses in his arm but he was sure they would have more chances to explore each other's bodies in the future. He couldn't wait to have her in his arms at his mercy once again.

“So we are…” fixing her pillows made him get closer to her and his proximity seemed to have a big effect on her as much as what he said because she was a giggling mess “Like boyfriend and girlfriend again?”

He felt as if he was back to school and it was adorable how she couldn't keep a serious face saying that. He couldn't also because he was smiling like a fool.

“No, now we really are boyfriend and girlfriend. It's a new start, a real one. Not a game!”

Nari’s eyes filled with excitement and he tilted his head watching her “You know in dramas and movies when the main guy fears that he might lose the girl he runs after her and in the last minute of the movie he confesses to her!”

“Really?” She didn't notice the amusement in his voice.

“And he makes a beautiful speech about how important she is to him and how much he likes her and they share an amazing kiss.” She finished with a cute sound and then slowly like always realized what she just said.

“Is that what I'm doing right now? The end of the movie?” Nari didn't answer and he pinched her cheek where a small dimple was. “I prefer to think this is the start.”

“Well, a start is more hopeful and…”

“So listen well because I'm not sure I can say all of this again to you!” he interrupted her. If she wanted him to go all cheesy on her he would. “You are truly important to me. You made me want to change. You were like a...fire burning down what I've believed until now, destroying all my defenses around my weak heart.”

Nari chuckled and ran her hands on her braid, a little embarrassed and yet loving every moment of it “You are making the speech.”

“Am I doing it well?”

“Is it all true?”

“Yes, every word I said today is true.”

“I think you are doing pretty well then.” He caressed her cheek and she moved to hug him but Jinki grabbed her arms softly and stopped her. He wasn't over yet.

“You make me want to wish more from this life. You are right Nari, my days were so dull until I met you. And when I think about all the happy memories I made recently you are in most of them. I can't see myself living them with anyone else but you.”

Nari’s eyes sparkled with emotion and he kissed her cheek tenderly, moving his lips closer to her lips.

“I really adore you.” He confessed lingering close to her lips. She was warm to the touch and her breathing was a little faster which made him pull away slightly wondering if she was feeling sick instead. She grasped his arm wrapping her small hand over his skin “Are you finished?”

He furrowed his brow confused until he realized she meant if he finished the confession. “This is the best I can do for now.”

“It sounded pretty good.” She seemed a bit out of breath and he worried “I can wait for more.”

“Can you?”

“You aren't going to wait until I get dangerously sick again, right?”

“No, and don't joke with that.”

Nari chuckled and he smiled realizing that she was alright. She was probably just caught in the moment like he was. He was even a little bit breathless too.

“Anyway, I'm going to wait so take all the time you need!” Nari said firmly nodding her head.

“You are amazing.” And he seemed to not be able to stop touching her. “You are like a spark.”

“A spark?”

“My spark. Wait, that guy can call you fairy princess and I can't call you my spark?”

Nari blinked her eyes curious “What does it even mean?”

“Well didn't I say that you made everything burn around me? Besides you make me happy and look.” he guided her hand on his arm to his wrist and held her fingers there. “Can't you see how my pulse quickens when you are close to me? And I can't stop smiling. It's like you light up something inside me.”

Nari giggled heartily loving the idea and the silly nickname. “I like it. It makes me look dangerous. If you don't behave I will burn you!” She poked his cheek and he inclined his head against her hand which made her caress his cheek instead.

“You are dangerous. Tiny and fragile.” he placed his hands over hers and the difference in size was cute and only highlighted his words “I want to hug you so badly but I'm scared I might crush you if I hold you too tight. Yet look at me completely defeated at your mercy.”

“Hum…” She pressed her lips together glowing with his words. “I won't break.” Her voice came out softly but the intent was clear. “You know that after the confessions…”

It was time for the kiss and he smirked, raising his eyes to hers.

“So I can kiss you now then?”

“Do you need to ask?”

He took a deep breath and his fingers intertwined with hers. Both moved closer, eyes lighted with excitement and longing. She closed hers first and parted her lips waiting for him and he watched her for a few seconds wanting to memorize that moment. It was the first time he confessed to someone, the first time he was in love and he was scared that he might forget that feeling and moment someday. He never wanted to forget the face in front of him ever. Nari opened her eyes wondering why he was taking so long and something crossed them when she saw his expression.

She caressed his cheek and smiled gently. “It's alright. We will do this together. I'm also scared.”

He swallowed hard realizing for the first time that his eyes were wet. He was acting like a weak fool, like a character from one of her lame dramas and yet he didn't feel embarrassed for showing emotions in front of her. She grasped his hand, closed her eyes, and took the initiation by joining her lips with his with no hesitation. It reminded him of a long time ago when he asked her to kiss him and how that was the first moment he realized something was wrong inside him. Back then his heart skipped a beat and then hammered so fast that he almost felt dizzy and now it wasn't much different.

Nothing was wrong back then, he only thought it was because he had never felt like that but now he knew better. He was blessed that he met her and she showed him that something amazing like that could happen to him too. Jinki closed his eyes and answered to the kiss, softly at first and then a little more demanding. He moved a hand to caress the back of her head, to trap her on his embrace and guide her against him. What followed were a chain of several small kisses, lips caressing against each other with need not leaving any time to breathe. Her lips paused in the middle of an attack of his so she inhaled next to his mouth, the same air he was breathing and that intimate moment made his heart tingle. Once she got back to it, her lips moved even more needy against his and he hummed hungry for more, his heart filling with contentment because she was real and in his arms.

It didn't last much longer because Nari pushed him away coughing and gasping for air and Jinki paled worried with her. He let himself get lost in his feelings and the need he felt for her that he barely didn't notice that he was killing her with a kiss.

“Are you alright?” He asked cupping her cheeks, making her look back at him and Nari smiled, her eyes moist. Her lips were as red as her cheeks and he cursed in his breath. He was a selfish aroused idiot.

“I'm really fine. Just lost my breath for a moment there.”

“I-I'm sorry.”

“Don't. It was amazing. I think it's mostly my heart to blame. I was really into it.”

He grinned and joined his forehead with hers “I also lost my breath for a while there.” She closed her eyes and he gently pulled her against his chest where she nestled her head on his shoulder.

“We will have time for more kissing later. Better play safe and let you rest now.”

Her hands gripped the back of his shirt and she pressed herself against him. “Is my boyfriend staying here with me?”

He smiled loving how she had to highlight the fact that he was her boyfriend and inhaled the floral scent of her hair, his heartbeat slowly calming down. Maybe it was because he finally was able to tell her all he wanted to, or because he could touch her but he was finally relaxed and happy.

“Yes, he is. I took the rest of the day off. I'm not leaving my girlfriend's side.”

“We should play a game.” She said excitedly, rubbing her cheek on his shoulder and he caressed her back.

“After you rest a bit.”

“One more kiss.” She asked pushing herself away from his chest so that she could look him in the eyes “One more kiss and I'll rest. I promise.”

He couldn't deny that he wanted it. “Only if you don't get too excited and a short one.”

“I promise.”

He sighed and then moved his chin in the direction of her pillows. “Lay down.”

“Will it be like sleeping beauty?” She asked, laying back. He helped her and stood up from the bed.

Jinki bent over the bed and she giggled truly feeling like a princess out of a fairytale. Jinki tucked some rebellious strands of her hair behind her ears and sighed looking at her enamored.

“I think it's more the opposite since in the story Sleeping Beauty woke up saved by the prince with a kiss.” He leaned forward “You are going to sleep and I wonder who's saving who?”

She raised her head to meet his lips and he pressed himself on her softly to not hurt her and kissed her slower even though her tongue moved against his lips, acting naughty, wanting his tongue to come out and play with hers. Jinki pulled away from her being no fun and she frowned at him cutely.

“Don't pout, you promised.” He fixed the covers around her and then sat on the couch again watching her.

“Are you going to stay there?” She asked turning on her side to look at him.

“Yes. I'll be here when you wake up. I might nap a bit too.”

She slid her arm from under the covers and stretched it so that she could offer her hand to him. He grabbed it and she smiled satisfied.

“Will I get a kiss when I wake up?” She asked after a while her voice was already a little drowsy.

“Aigo…” He complained poorly pretending that that request bothered him.

She closed her eyes and soon even the touch of his fingers on her hand started to fade.

She still could hear him though. “Anything my girlfriend wants.”

Jonghyun watched the old man from the corner of his eyes. He didn't want to be too obvious because he had no idea how he would react. The man was thin and short but he had some kind of dementia and Jonghyun wasn't sure how he should act in case he panicked or something. At the moment the man was busy walking near the wall, touching it as if searching for something.

“He is harmless.”

He didn't even notice that Eunsook was back. He called her before bringing Nari’s clothes to the hospital and Eunsook invited him to visit her at the nursing home where she worked. He has been waiting patiently for her for twenty minutes now.

“Come with me. I have something to show you.”

Jonghyun looked from her to the old man. She looked pretty as always, but way more casual than the usual with a red plaid dress over a black shirt and her hair loose. Of course, he wanted to be with her but he wondered if it was safe to leave the old man alone.

“He will be fine. Someone will come to guide him back to his room soon.” That was probably a common situation. Jonghyun followed her down the corridor giving the old man one last look. He seemed to have found what he was looking for, whatever it was.

She walked in big strides as if she was in a rush and he followed after her, trying to take a good look at the place while he did.

“I'm sorry you waited too long.”

“It's fine. You must be busy.” She didn't answer and after a while, his eyes wandered to her . That dress did wonders to show the curves of her body.

She stopped suddenly and he looked up immediately scared that he was caught checking her out. She turned around her hand hesitating on the handle of a door. He raised one eyebrow curiously and she opened the door and he followed her inside. It was a small office with a desk and a cabinet. Above the desk was a laptop and a lamp. It had two chairs and a window leading to the garden.

“What do you think?” She asked him crossing her arms in front of her chest and Jonghyun looked around the room again even though there wasn't much to look at.

“It's comfortable.” He wasn't sure why she was asking him. That didn't seem like her office either. It seemed unused.

Eunsook hummed, placed both her hands over the desk, and sat over it. Jonghyun widened his eyes and swallowed hard. He wasn't a ert like Yejoon but he was a man and he also had his desires and fantasies and it was hard not to let his mind go to the gutter when she looked so y sitting on a desk in front of him. Besides, the room was small and they were close.

“Y-you look different.” he said, trying to fill the silence to control his mind from going wild.

“My clothes? Ah yes. I found out that if I wear high heels and elegant clothes they won't talk with me easily. If I look more like their granddaughters I can reach out to them easier.”

Jonghyun loved her way of thinking and smiled.

“What?”

“You have a good heart. I knew you did but…"

“I'm sure you can make a big list of all my good points.” She said tilting her head seductively and he was sure she could sense his discomfort.

“W-what?”

Eunsook chuckled and jumped off from the desk “Ain't I your muse? Of course, you must see me as some kind of goddess.”

“Lately, you seem way more human.”

She frowned “I bet it was that night at the police station.”

He grinned remembering how cute she looked with her eyeliner all smudged and her hair a fluffy mess “No. You looked the best that night.”

She widened her eyes surprised and looked away. He blinked his eyes wondering if he was seeing wrong or she blushed.

“Anyway…'' Eunsook opened the window and fanned herself with her hand “I thought that you could use this room to interview our elderlies and then organize their stories. If you want to work here that is.”

“That sounds great, thanks.” She was missing the whole point of him coming to see her and it was his fault for never making his intentions clear.

“You don't seem that excited about the idea!”

“No, it's not that. I didn't come for that reason.” He only needed to confess. That was easy. Even the once heartless Jinki confessed to Nari. That was the first thing she told him when he entered her hospital room. Both of them were grinning like two teenagers in love. He felt jealous and swore to himself that today was also the day he was confessing and that soon he would be the one smiling with Eunsook. That is if she also liked him back which was closer to a 40% chance. How could someone as her like someone like him?!

“Then why did you come?” She stepped closer to him and Jonghyun’s mouth got dry and his stomach revolved. “You don't want to do the project anymore?”

“It's not about work.”

A small smile escaped her lips and she turned to the cabinet. He watched her while she picked up some papers from there and then made a gesture for him to follow her.

“There is something I have to tell you too, but it can't be here.”

He once again followed after her but this time they didn't walk far. She stepped outside into the garden where a group of elders was doing yoga. Jonghyun got distracted for a split of second and when he looked again he lost Eunsook. She was nowhere in sight and he turned around confused. A hand grabbed the sleeve of his sweater and he was pulled behind the bushes into a tiny space in the middle of the vegetation.

They were so close that her body was almost pressed against his and Jonghyun stepped back into the bushes pricking himself in the branches. She grabbed his sleeve and inched him closer to her so he wouldn't get hurt.

“Why are we here?”

She raised a finger to her lips to warn him to keep quiet. “We need privacy and it's better if we do it outside.” She looked at the papers in her hands and then at him again “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.” He wasn't sure what she wanted but he wouldn't be able to deny her anything when she was that close to him.

“Can you read this with me?” She offered him the papers and he grabbed them.

It was one of his short stories, the one that got an award in a magazine. He looked from the story to her. “How did you get this?”

“I searched for you online. It's yours right?”

He nodded running a finger over the title. The Sleeping Pill. It was a short story about a man and a woman living in a gray city, only surviving. One day they end up staying at the same beach house for a weekend and they find in each other the color that was missing from their lives. It was a short story about healing and the power of love.

“Why do you want me to read it?”

“I want you to act it out with me. The lines…”

“I'm confused.”

“Call it an experiment. Remember when I told you that I was never in love. I really like this story. Can you just do it with me?”

He stared at the words unable to read them but knowing exactly what was there. He was sure there was a part where they said they loved each other. He couldn't act that with her, it was too real.

“You want me to read the story to you?”

“No. Just the lines. I highlighted them with a marker.” She made him turn the pages and stopped on one where a yellow marker was highlighting the dialogue. “You don't need to give it back to me. I know my lines by heart now.”

He narrowed his eyes and his hand trembled. He wasn't sure what to think about that situation. Of course, he was happy that she was in love with his story but he wanted her to be in love with him, not with his words.

“We need to be fast. We don't have much time.” She insisted on pointing at the first line on the page. “Please, soon the yoga class is over and then we must leave.”

He wasn't sure why and what was the urgency but her eyes were almost pleading and he nodded.

He cleared his throat, closed his eyes for a moment to get into character, and read his line. However, she spoke first.

“We are at the beach.” It wasn't her line so she was trying to put them into the imaginary scenario. That was also why she said it needed to be outside. They didn't have the sea but at least they had the fresh air “Water is cold because it's night and we are freezing. “She hugged herself as if she could feel it in her skin and he let himself go and imagine that. Suddenly he could only hear her voice and see her. “We are holding hands.”

He didn't hesitate to grab her hand when she offered it to him but he took his time feeling her smaller slender fingers against his. His palm was sweaty because he was nervous but she didn't seem bothered with it.

“And then you said…”

He almost forgot he was supposed to be acting. That was too real, he wanted to be real. He had to look at the paper sheet.

“I can't feel my toes.”

“I can't either.” She answered back not hesitating. Her eyes searched his with an intensity that he was almost breathless. Every time he had to look away from her to look at his next line was torture.

“But they could feel their hearts beating.” he read making her chuckle because that wasn't a line. Still, it was no lie and once again he forgot about checking what came next in the story. She didn't scold him again and only smiled watching him carefully, her fingers slipping in the middle of his in a more intimate way. His chest ached and he parted his lips to tell her all he felt. This time it wasn't a line from the story but his most honest feelings.

The characters of that story wanted to touch each other, they wanted to kiss. They had no idea what they were feeling that night but they knew something connected them, something special.

“I like you…” He confessed just like the character of the story did “Haeun.” The name was hard to say and until the last moment, he almost said Eunsook.

Her lips trembled and she stepped closer, so close that their lips were inches from each other. He couldn't take it any longer and that would end up badly, with him with a big slap on his face.

“I like you too.” She whispered her eyes moving down his face to his lips and back again “You are funny even if your jokes are lame.”

That was a line from the story and Jonghyun looked away. It hurt, it hurt very much and he was distressed, not sure how to react to that weird situation.

Eunsook caressed his cheek and pulled at his chin so he would face her again.

“There is…” He wasn't even looking at the sheet of paper anymore, the lines coming out easily as if he was indeed that person in his story. He always saw himself more like the owner of the beach house, a writer with a secret, than the main character.

“Something…” Eunsook finished for him smiling brightly, her eyes lighting up. Apparently, he was doing a good job because she seemed rather satisfied while he was feeling more and more desperate.

“Yes. You have more color than anything around me. Like the sea…”

“I can't take my eyes away from you, not even to look at it.” She placed her free hand on his chest and Jonghyun was sure his cheeks were red, at least he felt them burning.

“Why do I feel the same?” His voice didn't seem to belong to him and he found himself leaning closer to her lips “What is this?”

“I don't know.” She pressed herself against his body, their hands still linked together and Jonghyun’s eyes burned with passion, his free hand moving hesitantly to her waist. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do but he knew that after in the story came a kiss.

Eunsook was shorter without high heels and was now a few inches shorter than him and he liked it very much. Also made it the perfect height to kiss and he would have thought more about it if she didn't distract him by brushing her lips against his. That completely made him forget everything including his name.

He stared at her wondering what to do and Eunsook pulled away and looked at the ground. Her fingers relaxed in his hand and he released her. She stepped further away from him, the most she could in such a small space and he swallowed hard realizing that whatever he did was wrong. Maybe he was supposed to really kiss her.

“I-i'm not a good actor.” he ended up saying.

“It seemed real.” She mumbled and he groaned making her look up at him.

“That's because it was...in a way.”

Her expression lit up again and once again she erased all the space between them. Their bodies were not touching but that was very close again.

“Then if it is why didn't you kiss me?”

“You wanted me to kiss you?”

“They kiss in the story.” She grabbed the paper from his hand and pointed to the part where it described the kiss. “See!”

“I know, but I can't go around kissing everyone with whom I act with.”

She frowned disappointed and he felt ridiculous “So you act with many people? I thought you were a writer.”

They sounded like two kids dancing around the subject, using something silly like acting that story to not touch the true reason they were doing that.

“Eunsook do you want me to kiss you?”

She in a breath not expecting him to be that direct.

“Because if you want to just say so.”

“I only wanted to know how it feels to be you know...in love.” she confessed embarrassed and he smiled finding her delightful. She was the prettiest when she wasn't even trying when she was just herself.

“I can show you that if you let me.”

“I think you did already. I just wanted to be sure it was it.”

His heart skipped a beat and he stared at her flushed, finding it hard to believe that she also had feelings for him. “Then you want me to kiss you, but not because it's written in the story. You want me, Jonghyun to kiss you Eunsook?”

“Jonghyun, I know our names ok? And yes I do! I think that's pretty obvious.”

He pulled her by her arm closer and Eunsook gasped surprised.

“Well, tell me what you think once we are finished.”

“What?”

“If it's like the story or not.” he explained before his lips touched hers. It was like he imagined. They were soft, warm and her kisses had a hint of rebelliousness in them, just like she did. If he her lower lip she would immediately fight to his back, if his tongue got eager and slid against , next it would be her time to do the same back. It was like a small delicious battle of kisses with a few short breaks for breathing. No one surrendered and it ended with a small gentle bite of his on her lower lip.

He always imagined kissing Eunsook but it was never like that, so hungry and needy, it was always more fantasy-like, more like what he described in his short story. When he pulled away and realized that, he feared that maybe she might have not liked it. Jonghyun watched her open her eyes and look at him after fluttering them a few times. They were tangled in each other's arms and somehow in the middle of the passion some leaves end up on her hair. It was ridiculous how he seemed to have fallen into a black hole of passion and besides her lips, he completely lost sense of everything else. He even had a hand near her bottom and he wasn't sure how that happened. She wasn't slapping him yet so that was good.

“So?”

“That wasn't like the story at all.”

“No, it wasn't.” They were both out of breath and lips were swollen, cheeks flustered. It looked more like they had than that they shared a kiss.

If they could be that intense only by touching their lips he couldn't even think about what they would be in bed. God...he wanted it so badly.

“Disappointed?”

“Oh hell no. This is way better!” She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him tightly and Jonghyun hugged her back, closing his eyes. She liked it, that was good.

“Eunsook, I wanted to confess to you so many times but I always lost courage.”

She pulled back to look at him.

“You like me?”

“Yes. I tried asking you on a date and failed every time.”

She chuckled and kissed his lips again. He hummed, dizzy with passion again but she pulled away panting for air.

“I also like you for a long time now. I was confused wondering if it was only me and that was why I….I wasn't sure how to ask you…”

“We are rather silly, aren't we?” he joined his forehead with hers.

“Yes but…” She stopped speaking and then widened her eyes and grabbed his arm with urgency “We must leave!”

“What why?”

“Because when the yoga class ends it…”

The sound of the sprinkles going on completed the sentence for her and both her and Jonghyun screamed when the water splashed them.

“…” She cursed, pulling him out of the bushes and he laughed following her to a safer place next to the building. He took some leaves from her hair which was rather pointless because she was now wet also.

Meanwhile, she took that moment to hold his hand seeming proud that they finally got to that point in their relationship.

“Well, now you saw me shoeless after being robbed, saved me from the police station after a fight with a drunk woman, saw me with ruined makeup, with leaves all over my hair and all wet...oh, and I even cursed in front of you. You probably are rethinking the whole muse thing.”

He caressed her cheek and she kissed his hand marveling at how soft it was. She always thought men had rough hands, it was true she didn't hold hands with many men but Jonghyun's were especially soft as gentle as he was. She never found someone so attractive like him, sensitive and yet so manly. He was a real man, better than any she used to read about in the romance books.

“No, now you are truly my muse.”

She giggled and he pulled her to his arms again. It crossed his mind that maybe she wouldn't like it now that they were in an open space and people could witness it but she didn't complain, on contrary, she seemed delighted with the way he held her. She seemed love-struck with him.

That was a first to him. No woman ever looked at him like that.

“Also you look really cute when you curse. “

“No need to praise me, just kiss me again!”

He was going to but his eyes moved behind her at the door that led inside.

The old man was in his search again and seemed to have found something more interesting than the wall, a couple making out outside. “Seems like he is enjoying watching us.”

Eunsook looked from Jonghyun to the elder and softly detached herself from him.

“Let me just help him and then we are leaving. I need more kisses.”

Jonghyun had no objections to that.

Sora secured her target as soon as she came out of the elevator. Nothing was going to distract her now. The door to Taemin’s office was closed but she knew he was there. He always stayed until the evening and sometimes even later. Hana was turning off her computer and organizing her desk, finishing her workday. She raised her eyes when Sora passed by her but didn't say anything. Another one of their coworkers, one that went with them to the convention spoke to her when she was halfway to Taemin's office.

“Sora, I thought you wouldn't come to work today? Is your friend feeling better?”

Sora halted and turned to face him. “Is Taemin in?”

“Ah, yes he is. He is probably getting ready to leave also. Is everything alright?”

“Fine. Everything's fine.” Everything was perfect or would be if she got that done.

The truth was that after Jonghyun pushed her to go after Taemin she didn't immediately. First, she visited her father. She prayed to him and apologized for allowing herself to get distracted from her revenge. She wished he answered her doubts. Of course, she knew that her happiness would be a top priority and he probably would prefer that she went after the person she loved than give him up for revenge. She knew that but it was hard to ignore the anger she felt inside her. She hoped Taemin would be able to heal that part of her.

“Are you sure?” Her coworker asked and Sora noticed how Hana was watching her curious too. Even they could see that something changed in her.

“Yes. Never been better!” That was the truth.

Nari and Jinki were together and Jonghyun confessed to Eunsook and she liked him back. Sora knew all that because Jonghyun didn't lose the chance to text her with the news. It was her time now and if everything went well she would have big news to tell her friends and by the end of the day for the first time, all of them would be dating at the same time.

“Alright!” She raised her fists in the air giving herself a silent Fighting for courage, and ignoring her confused coworkers, she strode into Taemin’s office. She didn't stop, not even to knock and open the door.

Taemin was writing something and raised his eyes from his desk to her. His eyebrows drew together and he stood up.

“Did something happen to Nari?”

“No, she is fine.” Sora replied immediately.

Taemin smiled recalling his phone call with Jinki earlier that day “Ah Jinki said she was feeling better but you appearing like this...I thought that maybe...”

“I have something to discuss with you. Come with me.” Sora grabbed his arm and tried to pull him but Taemin was pretty solid and pulled back.

“What are you doing?” His eyes moved from her to the door that she left open and she followed his gaze. Everyone was outside peeking curiously at what was happening. Great, for sure that scene would be the topic of the day at the company the next day.

“Well if you didn't ignore my phone calls I wouldn't have to come here and kidnap you!” She complained, pulling his arm again. He lost his balance, surprised with her words, and the fact that everyone watching didn't seem to scare her any longer.

“Are you here to pick a fight with me?” he asked suspiciously and Sora scoffed.

“No, I'm not. Can you trust me this once? You won't regret it.”

Taemin stared at her trying to read her intentions and Sora’s expression softened.

“Please?” She pleaded. There was no other way to do that and if he wanted to be with her he had to trust her once more.

He his lips and then grabbed his cellphone from over his desk. “Alright. After you.” He pulled his arm away and she released him and turned around.

The way back to the elevator was slower and seemed to take ages since everyone was watching her, but Taemin was following her.

“Did you bring your bike?” Sora asked when they reached the doors of the elevator.

“Yes.”

“Then take me somewhere?”

“You came here for a ride?” He asked incredulously.

“It’s important.”

“Where are we going?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her an impatient look.

“I’ll tell you on the way.”

Nari stretched out her arm and moved it on the pillow over her head before opening her eyes. The white ceiling of the hospital was the first thing she saw and quickly all the memories of what happened came back to her. Jinki confessed to her, she was alive. Both were extremely important.

She turned to her side and smiled because Jinki was still there, sitting on the couch, his head leaning against the wall, sleeping adorably.

She used her elbows to pull herself up and sat on the bed. Her body was languid and her stomach hurt. She was famished and a bit thirsty. Nari stretched to grab the jar with water on the bedside table and served herself a glass of water. Beside it was a bouquet of flowers. It wasn't there when she went to sleep. They weren't the typical ones that people sent to sick people, but a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers, her favorites. She grabbed the small card in it.

“I wasn't sure you could receive flowers so that’s why I didn't bring them, but since your doctor approved I ordered them for you. I hope you like them. I also don't know much about flowers and I almost bought roses because you looked so beautiful in the middle of them during our date. However, when I think of you I think of something more out of the norm, colorful, untamed, and beautifully natural, that no man can cultivate.

Jinki”

Nari hugged the card against her chest and looked at her boyfriend completely captivated. That was perfect and she was going to dry them and maybe even use them to make a candle or soap or something she could keep forever and remember the first flowers he gave her.

She read the card again and giggled. He called her untamed and beautiful and in a way rare. It made her feel precious. He was right, she wasn't a rose, she was closer to daisies.

It was funny how she felt wonderful and yet her body still seemed tired. She needed to start exercising once she left the hospital. Jinki did make her promise that she would take better care of her health. Maybe if she gained some muscles she would look prettier too. She wondered what kind of women Jinki preferred. If roses or daisies. The only ex-girlfriend of his she knew was Inna and she was definitely a rose, with a curvier body than she had. That wasn't hard since Nari was thin. She pulled the sleeve of her hospital gown up her arm and stared at it. Even her arms seemed like the arms of a high school girl. She peeked inside her gown next to her ordinary s.

“Is everything alright?” Jinki asked, watching her with sleepy eyes.

Nari fixed her gown and nodded. “Fine.”

“Why are you looking at your chest? Does it hurt?” He immediately got up and sat in the bed next to her watching her carefully.

Nari swallowed and blushed. She couldn't tell him the real reason but she was curious about his tastes now.

“Nothing hurts, I was only checking something.”

He raised one eyebrow and his eyes shifted down to her chest and up again. He narrowed his eyes and she tugged at his arm before he reached a conclusion.

“I'm hungry.”

“You are? That's good.” He stood up from her bed and stretched raising his arms in the air “I'm going to call the nurse to bring you food.”

“Jinki wait.” She tried to twist on the bed to catch him but he was fast. “Come here.”

He stopped at the door and then walked back to the bed.

“Closer.” He bent forward and smiled, eyeing her lips but she didn't kiss him, instead, she ran her fingers on his hair and combed it. “Bed hair.” She explained and he lowered his head so that she could comb it more comfortably.

“All done.”

Jinki kissed her cheek and thanked her but before he moved away Nari grabbed the collar of his shirt. “More kisses.”

He nodded cutely and kissed her other cheek.

“Not there.”

“Oh no?” He acted surprised and she pulled at his collar impatiently.

“Close your eyes then.”

She obeyed immediately and waited. His lips didn't touch hers but instead kissed her neck making her giggle and then and up to her chin. A sigh escaped her lips just before he grabbed her lower lip. She tried to kiss him back but he pulled away only to go back and nibble on it. She opened her eyes and released his collar only to grab him by his face to pull him closer again. He smiled against her lips and kissed her back. Nari didn't seem to want to stop again, moving her lips against his with passion, and he had to detach himself from her arm and pull away. She sent him a hungry look that Jinki did his best to ignore. All he wanted was to hold and kiss her but for her wellbeing, it was better to wait.

“Don't cheat on me with the nurse while I'm gone.” He and the lamp on the bedside table since it was getting darker. She took the opportunity to grab his leg and he stared at her, looking adorable like a little girl holding him.

“Nari let's do dirty things once you are out of the hospital. Not here.”

She blushed deeply like he knew she would and released him. He chuckled and walked to the door.

“I'm sure he already finished his shift.”

He looked back at her and she grinned at him teasingly.

“So if he didn't you would cheat on me?”

“No way. I wouldn't risk losing someone like you.”He hummed, finding the answer acceptable. “Say Jinki...can you ask the doctor when I can go home?”

“Why? Want to do dirty things with me that badly?” Her expression darkened and Jinki approached her bed again. “What's wrong?”

“I really hate it here.” She confessed “I know you got this room so I would be more comfortable and I'm really thankful. And everyone is always coming to see me, missing work because of me and sacrificing their personal lives. I also know that what happened was serious but I really don't want to spend more time at the hospital. Please can you ask him?”

Jinki sat beside her again and caressed her hair softly. “Did you stay many times at this hospital when you were younger?”

“This one and a couple more. I'm tired of wasting my life here. I thought I wouldn't ever come back and yet here I am. I just think I would recover faster if I was home.”

“If you were home and got worse and no one was there to save you what would happen?” He asked and she bit her lower lip and lowered her head. She knew he was right but she hated being there and above all, she hated that she was a hindrance to everyone.

“I promise that I will be careful.” She raised her head and tried hard not to cry but as soon as she spoke her eyes filled with tears “I'll stay in bed and I can ask Jonghyun to bring me meals and…”

“No way.” Jinki shook his head immediately. There was no chance he would let her do that. He understood why she didn't want to be there but it was for her own good. “If you go home I'll hire a nurse to take care of you 24/7. And you wouldn't leave your bed and it would be the same as this hospital.”

Nari frowned and Jinki caressed her cheek clearing the tears. “Nari this was serious, really serious. Jonghyun tried to save you. Do you know how that must have felt to him? We are worried about you. I'm sure Sora and Jonghyun won't accept that also. Please, just endure it a little bit more, and then once we leave this hospital lets not come back again, not for this reason.”

Nari sniffed and Jinki pulled her softly against his chest. She sighed, hugging him and he was sure he managed to convince her. “Maybe we can find a way to make this less painful for you.”

“How?”

“You now have your laptop so you can watch your dramas, I can watch them with you. And I can take more time off and spend it with you. It will be like going on a date with me.”

She pulled away from his chest and gave him a funny look “A date, at the hospital?”

“Well..” He caressed her cheeks tenderly “It's not much different from the dates we had in my living room and your bedroom. Well with less...skinship.”

She groaned, not liking that and he chuckled “Trust me, I also don't appreciate that part. But we can spend some time talking, and once you feel better we can go for a walk in the garden outside, maybe even do a picnic, and we can eat at the hospital cafeteria together.”

“So romantic.”

He pinched her cheek gently “Didn't you say that you were happy just because you were drinking coffee with me.”

Nari smiled remembering the last time they met “You are right. We can do that.”

“Good.” He looked around the room “And maybe we can make this room more cheerful and less hospital-like.”

“How?”

“I can bring more flowers, and maybe some of your candles for decoration, and something from your bedroom to cheer you up? Your pillows? Your movies perhaps?”

She punched his chest playfully and he chuckled, pulling her to his arms again. He buried his nose on her neck and smiled loving how good it felt to have her there. He couldn't have enough of that and couldn't wait to take her on proper dates out of that hospital.

“I wish there was a way to make you leave faster but for now the only way is to take care of you and make you happy. I can't see any other way. The soon you recover, the soon we leave.”

She nodded kissing his cheek and he pulled away.

“Now you said you were hungry.”

“Are you really going to stay the night here?”

“Yes. I brought my laptop so I might work a little and then I can sleep on the couch. It's comfortable.”

“You can sleep with me. That would make me truly happy!” She cleared and moved her body on the bed as if to make space for him “We both fit if we get really close together. It will be warmer that way too.”

He stared at her wondering if he listened right but Nari’s eyes didn't stray from his even though her skin was flushed. Her attitude reminded him of how she acted on the day they almost had .

Sleeping on the same bed, closer together, warming each other. Oh, he was going to go insane if he was that close to her. Hugging and kissing her and stopping on time before he lost control was already hard.

“It's a good plan and I want to say yes to it but we might have to schedule that for another time. The couch is safer.” he stood up still eyeing the space in the bed beside her. Talking about sharing the same bed with her seemed more serious than the jokes he made about doing dirty things with her before. They were a joke but laying by her side in that context wasn't.

She was being serious about it and even though he knew she didn't mean having with him, not in a hospital and her condition, it still meant sleeping together. It was intimate, something lovers did, something he wanted to do with her as soon as he could. He wanted to have with her but he also didn't want to seem eager about it. She already had her doubts about his intentions. She asked him if it was only what he wanted from her and he needed to prove that his feelings were real and was only another way to be with her, to love her, not the main purpose of that relationship.

“It's fine by me. I think I would be happier if you hugged me to sleep.” Nari said eyeing him hopefully “but if you don't want or aren't comfortable with it.”

“I want it.” he quickly answered. “I'm going to get your dinner now.”

“You should order something for you too.”

“I will. Don't….do anything reckless without me around.”

“I won't, I will be a good girl and wait. Good girls get rewards like being held by the man they love, to sleep.” Nari pressed her lips together and Jinki sighed and raised his eyes to the ceiling of the room.

The man she loved. The words still scared him and yet they tasted like honey too and his heart couldn't handle that passion. He was going insane.

If someone of the staff caught them sleeping together that would be embarrassing and maybe even go against the hospital rules. Worse if it was Jonghyun or Sora.

“Are you upset?” She asked innocently and he shook his head.

“No, I'm thinking about what Jonghyun will do to me if he catches us in bed together.”

She giggled knowing that that meant that he gave in to her request. “Don't worry I'll protect you!”

Taemin parked his bike on a street he hadn't been to before but rather close to the house where he saved Sora’s sister.

Sora that has been holding to him the whole ride there hop off of his bike and gave him the helmet back. She waited for him to do the same and then grabbed his hand with no ceremony and pulled him with her. By now Taemin was getting a bit tired of following after her instructions and was going to give her an ultimatum. Either she told him her intentions and what the hell they were doing there or he wouldn't follow her anymore.

Sora stopped and stared at a small house a few meters down the street. The lights of the windows were on and that was the only sign of life. It had a small garden that seemed to have had better days and a bicycle was laying on the floor just outside the door.

“You said I didn't trust you.” Sora remarked, turning to look at him and releasing his hand “I'm doing a leap of faith here.”

Taemin shifted his gaze from the house back to her. It didn't seem like that was one of her provocations. He had no idea what she was talking about but he knew that was serious to her, that it meant something. It wasn't hard not to think about the first time he took her to his brother’s apartment. He also felt like he was doing a leap of faith.

“You lost your brother.” She seemed to read his thoughts well. “I told you that I also lost my father.” Sora took a deep breath and looked at the house again “That house is the place where I was raised, the same one where I found my dead father. He committed suicide and I was the one who found his body.”

A cold shiver went down his spine and he stared at her, slowly everything making sense. How attached she was to that perfume because it reminded her of him, how she acted weirdly because of it, and all the things she said to him. Their fingers brushed together and he almost grabbed her hand again but stood watching her instead, waiting until she finished whatever she had to say to him.

“That's where my sister and mom live. That's why I ran away from it. Every day I stayed in that house after what happened I sunk a little. I felt like suffocating with the memories of that night. Every happy memory of him inside that house paled and crumbled after that.” Sora’s voice failed her and she looked down with tears in her eyes. Taemin pressed his lips together. He wanted to comfort her like he did when she received Nari’s news but the only thing he dared to do was caress her arm softly. Until the last moment, he was sure she would repudiate him. She didn't even move so he slid his hand gently trying to calm her.

“Sora, I don't understand why you are telling me this but I’m glad you are sharing it with me.”

If only he knew why she was confessing all that to him.

“It's because I'm not the Sora you think I am. I call you the devil but you are nothing beside me. I'm worse than you think I am.”

Taemin chuckled finding the idea ridiculous “No, you are not.”

“Trust me, I am. I have dark thoughts and my intentions aren't always the purest but I want to change. And that is why I'm showing you this house, the place where it all started. I need you to promise me that once the time comes and I fail to fight those dark thoughts you will stop me from doing something crazy. “

“I-I don't understand.” Sora grabbed his hand and moved closer to him so that she could look into his eyes.

“You are the only one who can stop me.” Taemin parted his lips to make more questions to try and understand but she kissed him, caressing his cheeks while she did so.

He blinked his eyes surprised and stared at her once she pulled away. He was so confused and had no idea what she meant about her not being the person he thought she was, nor why she had to tell him about her father. But he knew what that kiss was and he had a slight idea of the reason he might be the only one who was able to make her stop. Still, why?! Just the previous day she told him that he meant nothing to her. She couldn't go from seeing him as a partner to have feelings for him next. Was she playing with him again? He stepped back shocked, not sure what to think anymore.

“I’m sorry.” Sora followed after him and grabbed his wrist “I don't think anything of that. You are not immature, nor a playboy and certainly not useless. In many things you are more mature than me, you certainly fight for what you want in a way that is braver than mine. And yes you have your way with women but I failed to see until you pointed out to me that you don't see me in the same way you see the others.”

Taemin blushed and wondered if she was mocking his feelings for her now.

“And I don't care if you are not like your brother. You are Taemin for me and only that and the Taemin I know is a great man.” She caressed his cheek, his eyes trembling when she mentioned his brother. “It still is hard for me to admit but I was so wrong about you. I admire your passion and how you can view life in a brighter way than I was ever able to do so.” In a way, that naive side of him reminded her of Nari. “Despite everything that happened to you, even though you are suffering you still manage to smile and it rubbed off on me. The time I spend together with you is the best.”

“That's because I enjoy being with you…” He tried to speak but she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her head against his chest. He in a breath and stood motionless surprised with all she said and how she was acting. Sora puzzled him as no other woman did.

“I only care about this Taemin here, the one I fell for.” She closed her eyes and hugged him tightly, burying her nose on his shirt. She didn't realize for a long time how she longed to be with him, to touch him intimately like that and smell his scent. It was so comforting and it made her think that everything would be alright. Yes, he was the only one who could stop her.

“Sora?” His voice came out unsure and she raised her eyes to him but didn't release his body. His expression was uncertain as if he didn't believe what he just heard and her heart ached for him.

“Promise me that you will help me, that you won't let me fall, and Taemin I'll be yours.”

He raised one hand to her back and his lips. It seemed like he didn't know what to say or do and she couldn't blame him. After how she acted that was the last thing he thought that she would do or say.

Sora wanted so badly to be his and that wasn't only clear on the way she was holding on to him, hoping that he saved her but also the way she was regarding him.

“Are you saying that you want to have a relationship with me?” His voice was rough and the words came out slowly as if he barely could speak “After what you said to me?”

“Forget what I said. I lied! I've been lying to myself for months. This isn't only anymore and we both know it. I freaked out, alright? Because of this dark side of me, because I was scared but I'm not anymore. I want this. Please…”

Taemin’s hand on her back grasped her blouse and Sora moved her hands to his chest, no need to hold on to him anymore. He wasn't going anywhere.

“Also, I'm disappointed with you Lee Taemin.” She smiled and he studied her eyes still as confused as when she started speaking to him. Now she was acting cute. “Very disappointed!” She hit his chest with her fist and he complained.

“Why?”

“You said that we would only be over when you said so and yet you let me end it!”

His lips parted into a smile and she knew she had lost that mouse cat game. Or probably both lost it by losing their hearts to each other and yet they won too.

“I don't know what to think or say.” He confessed finally wrapping his arms around her, holding her properly against him.

“Don't say anything. We talk too much these days. Let's kiss more!”

He smiled against her lips and kissed her back, sweet and raw, pulling her against him scooping her almost off the floor. Her fingers traced over his cheek to his neck and his teeth caught her bottom lip in a faint bite, one that seemed like a declaration of his possession over her. Before he pulled away she did the same back, nibbling and kissing his lower lip.

Sora felt dizzy and overwhelmed with feelings and she never felt so good. The only exception being the moment she swam with dolphins and with Taemin. He was there, always there.

He giggled caressing her hair and neck and Sora trembled in his arms. She longed for him like she never longed for any man and she couldn't think of anything else but his lips kissing her, her hands exploring his body. Her legs were weak and she buried herself in his arms wanting him to support her because she couldn't herself. The last two days were a rollercoaster of emotions.

“It's cold.” He mumbled but both knew that that wasn't the reason why she was trembling. “What now?”

“Now…” She kissed his neck and he sighed against her ear making goosebumps on her skin. “Now we go back to my place. We have blow minding , we cuddle and kiss until my lips hurt.”

Taemin chuckled and she smiled, rubbing his lips against his neck.

“Then we sleep together in each other's arms until morning, have breakfast together with Jonghyun, and then we go to the hospital, visit Nari and see your friend that seemed to have turned that hospital room into a hotel one.”

Taemin kissed her earlobe and nibbled on it making her close her eyes.

“And then we go to work together, holding hands like a couple.”

He pulled away to look at her eyes surprised. “Does that mean that you don't mind if everyone sees us? That we are in a real relationship, as a couple?”

“Well, yeah what do you think this meant? Are you playing hard to get or acting dumb now?”

Taemin narrowed his eyes “Is this dark Sora already? Am I going to be abused in this relationship?”

“I plan to abuse your lips a lot.” She touched his plump lips and smiled. Now she had an excuse to kiss him whenever she wanted. He was her boyfriend.

Taemin grabbed her hand stopping her from drawing his lips with her fingers “This is not another push and pull scheme of yours right? Because it makes me nuts!”

“No Taemin, this is me confessing to you, pleading you to end my misery and date me. I think that was pretty obvious when I told you that I was disappointed with you!”

“I'll do my best.”

Sora buried her nose on his neck again. “Just don't forget your promise!”

“I won't even though I have no idea what you are talking about. Even if horns and a tail come out of you and you turn red like the devil I'll still won't let you go!”

“Thank you!” There was no bubble of happiness around her, that was real, too real even though it felt like a dream. “Thank you for everything.”

“Sora, actually there is something I have to tell you. It's a misunderstanding. I haven't told you before because I didn't think it changed anything but since we are being honest, I think…”

“!” Sora pulled away from his arms and he followed her gaze.

Sun-Young, Sora’s sister was coming in their direction on the other side of the road, Min Jun her boyfriend with her.

“Let's go!” Sora pulled Taemin's hand and they walked back to his bike, hiding behind the other cars and whatever they could so they wouldn't see them.

“Wait, are you already hiding me?”

“No. I just don't want her to invite us inside.”

He realized what she meant. She didn't want to go back home. He wondered if she stopped visiting them often for the same reason.

Taemin grabbed Sora by her waist and stepped in front of her “We are already acting like criminals so maybe you are truly the devil in this relationship. But as I promised, let me help.” He pulled the hood of his coat up, hiding his face and wrapped an arm around Sora’s shoulders, making her walk by his side, hidden by his body.

Sora looked up at his face and smiled brightly. It seemed so silly now how she always saw him as the enemy when they were so perfect together. He was right, they crashed and burned when they were together and yet it always made sense, they always complemented each other. When she was with him Sora felt alive, unbeatable, and no longer afraid. She liked the Sora she was when she was with Taemin and if he kept his promise and guided her she would never stray into the dark.

This could be a happy ending but not yet....we are almost there. XD

Sleeping Pill is a short story I wrote about Jinki's collaboration song with Rocoberry. It's about a couple falling in love, finding some color in their lives after going through a hard time. The writer is mentioned as the owner of the beach house the couple shared in the story. The writer in my head is Jonghyun and even though he doesn't enter the story he is mentioned a couple times and has a role in the way the couple connects. I usually like to connect stories like this as I did with Perfectly Dangerous and In trouble with you etc...

You can check it here if you are curious (sorry the pics are down....T__T )

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1249073/sleeping-pill