"Is she alive?"

"Yes."

"So… Can we draw on her face now?"

"No."

"Aww, come on! It's not even sharpie!"

"I get first dibs!"

"Why you? I thought of it first!"

"Someone should probably turn her on her side, though, right?"

"I'm scared that if I move her, she'll puke all over me."

"Why are you so scared of puke when we see it in the venue bathrooms basically every night?"

"Gross!"

"You're gross."

"And out of the two of you obnoxious fools, I still can't believe one of you is actually my boss."

"Hey! Take that back!"

“No.”

"I'll hold your hand."

"...Fine. I kind of take it back, or whatever..."

Muddled.

Everything seemed muddled and so far away from her, as if she were having an out of body experience. She didn't even think she was remotely near being awake but could feel the way her brain pounded against her skull.

A headache.

A splitting one at that.

The yelling she could hear far off in the distance rang in her ears and was of no help at all, but it all quickly faded into nothingness.

The only thing amongst the dark now was a mist of slowly moving glittering gold.

Haru felt the headache she had noticed earlier increase tenfold, waking her up from her deep slumber.

She opened her eyes and could feel the awful cold sweat on her forehead, her neck, and quite frankly everywhere else. Those were things she could handle. Things that didn’t bother her so much. Not nearly as much as the horrific nausea.

God, anything but that.

At the feeling of bile in , Haru ran to the bathroom down the hall in Jungkook’s office.

She blew chunks for what felt like hours and unlike most people who didn’t care for hygiene when they were hungover, she refused to hug the toilet for the slightest bit of comfort. The floor was an even bigger negative. All of it just made her skin crawl.

Everything just felt so sticky and dreadful.

As she sat there in momentary calm, something seemed to click in Haru’s throbbing brain.

She was still at D&W.

She was at D&W and hungover.

What time was it? What had happened? Hadn't she been working?

Last she remembered, she was wiping the venue door down and…

Oh god.

“Wonho!” She gasped, just before the bile rose in once again.

It was six am and he still couldn’t sleep. Wonho was starting to think he should just give up. It wasn’t the fact that he wasn’t tired, because he was beyond exhausted, but that his brain wouldn’t shut off.

It wouldn’t shut up.

It just kept replaying the same scenes in his mind and he didn’t grow tired of them, no matter how many times they’d repeat.

He had resorted to staring at the ceiling as they replayed hours ago, just letting his brain take him on a ride that left his body feeling all sorts of restless. The bubbling in his chest was now a pounding. His heart was racing, and his cheeks hurt from all the smiling.

He hadn’t known he could suffer in different ways when he was happy. Suffer in ways that didn’t matter. They were set aside and left on the back burner of his mind.

She’s really something else, was all he could think.

She was the calm sea, lulling the fishes to a comforting sleep; but she was also a raging ocean, facing you without fear and threatening to swallow you whole with everything she had.

She was amazing.

"Guys, where is she? She's not in the break room upstairs."

"What do you mean she's not there?!" The rest screamed in unison.

"I checked. The couch is empty," Jungkook shrugged, his bright eyes betraying his nonchalance. He was worried, but he knew he couldn't show how much he cared for Haru in front of Mei.

This was his way of asking for help from the others indirectly.

It was no secret that Mei was jealous of their relationship. Jungkook didn't think it was because she feared he could fall for Haru, but the skinship they had with each other. Granted, Hoseok and Haru had the touchiest friendship he had ever seen, but he came close second and it evidently bothered Mei.

"I'll check upstairs again," Jimin spoke sharply through the heavy silence. He took a glance at Hoseok one more time before rushing down the hall and up the stairs.

Hoseok observed as Jungkook stood there next to Mei, not knowing what to do. His hands were tied.

Hoseok turned around and continued doing the dishes, getting the cafe ready for the morning rush. He wanted nothing more than for Jungkook to finally get the memo. The less he was around her, the less he chased after her - the more she'd be able to move on easily.

That was a wish that would never come true, though. They were all too close to leave each other alone for even a second, and that's what tore Hoseok apart. He loved them both so much, but Jungkook was the reason she was hungover in the first place and he had no clue.

It was hard for the whole situation not to irk Hoseok, but he'd bite his tongue once again, just like he always did.

"Don't you have school today?" Kihyun whispered through the dark.

Wonho had been near sleep when he’d heard the door creak open, a stealthy Kihyun making his way to the right side of Wonho's bed.

It was a common reoccurrence. Wonho had often woken up to the startling image of Kihyun's peaceful sleeping face, dark circles often painted under his eyes. A lot of them had trouble sleeping and Wonho hadn't minded that Kihyun had chosen him to be his comforting presence. It made him feel that at least with his brothers, he was doing something right.

"In two hours," Wonho mumbled with his eyes closed, having previously peeped the digital clock on his wall. Ten in the morning wasn't that bad of a time for a morning class if you had slept through the night.

He didn't know how he'd make it through the day.

"You came back at three in the morning. Have you gotten any sleep?"

Now, Wonho thought, Kihyun was just asking things to extract information out of him.

"Not a wink," He replied, nonetheless.

"Why are you giggling?" Kihyun asked, raising his upper body on his left elbow to get a better look at him. "I'm not giggling?" Wonho squinted at him, brushing off the absurdity of his phantom observation. "Yes, you were," Kihyun leaned over teasingly, a growing smile etching itself into Wonho's vision. "It's Haru, isn't it?" He whispered.

"What are you on about now?" Wonho threw his arms up into the air before letting them fall lazily at his sides. What was Kihyun trying to grill him for? Why did he think Wonho would giggle at the fact that he’d feel like a zombie at his classes today? "You're not making any sense."

"Alright, alright," Kihyun sang sweetly, "You can deny it to my face all you want, but I know what's making you change."

"Change?"

"You're happy, Wonho. A different kind of happy that I've never quite seen before. There's that thing people always talk about, the thing they always want. There's a sparkle in your eyes and you can't deny it." Wonho stared at Kihyun as he ripped off the huge band-aid he had plastered on his cracking wall. The wall he hadn't wanted anyone to get near.

"Haru put those stars in your eyes. I don't know how, and I don't care, but I'll have to thank her the next time I see her."

"You know what I just noticed, Kihyun?"

"What?" Kihyun leaned up more excitedly, eyes round and expectant.

"That you should become a poet. Write your feelings down on paper and shut up!" Wonho exclaimed, grabbing a pillow and smacking Kihyun's head with it. "Hey!" Kihyun yelled, grabbing a pillow of his own and pummeling Wonho's head and body repeatedly. "Let yourself love someone, you closed off bastard!"

Wonho metaphorically readjusted his giant band-aid against the crack in his wall and stayed silent as he continued to have a full-on pillow fight with his brother.

“Haru?”

Haru could faintly hear her name being called but didn’t have the slightest bit of energy to reply to it. She had succumbed to laying her black misted arms on the toilet bowl, her hair a sopping mess as it touched her skin. It had helped stop the room from spinning, but if she let her mind wander to the fact that the toilet was nowhere near as clean as she personally liked it, she felt the bile rise in . So, she was currently attempting to count sheep to keep her mind at ease.

“Oh god, Haru! Are you okay?!”

And just like that, she had lost count at sheep number 237.

“Haru?”

She feared if she opened her eyes, she’d puke again. So, she kept them closed as a hand ran over her dampened hair. “Haru…”

Jimin.

Jimin’s voice sounded sad.

She hated it.

“Why are you sad?” She managed to say in a faint whisper. “Please, don’t be sad,” Haru croaked out before breaking out into a sob. “Haru, no! I’m not sad, so don’t cry, okay? You’ll only make yourself feel worse,” Jimin carefully whispered. Haru could feel him holding her as she attempted to stop her sobbing. “I’m so sorry, my sweet baby,” He said before kissing her forehead.

She knew why.

It was embarrassing that she was this much of a disaster over a guy and that all her friends knew, but he meant so much more to her than that. She supposed she should resent that fact.

But she didn’t.

Haru was just sick of loving Jungkook in that way.

Her crying stopped abruptly, and she felt Jimin stiffen in surprise.

“Are you okay? Do you think you can get up and walk?”

“My head hurts more now.”

“No ,” Jimin deadpanned.

Haru couldn’t help but burst out in laughter.

“Hey!” Jimin whisper yelled at Haru, “If you don’t stop laughing, you’re gonna need to rest for days to recover! Stop it!”

“Then stop making me laugh!” Haru giggled, taking a step forward only to lose her balance at the try. “Hold onto me or I’m gonna carry you princess style.”

“God, anything but that. I’ve had enough humiliation for one day,” She groaned, smacking his hands away. “Speaking of, you got a little something near your mouth,” Jimin grimaced. “Oh, you,” She replied as Jimin snickered.

“Is everything okay in here?”

Jungkook came in wide-eyed at all the giggling, a big fond smile on his face at the sight of Haru.

“Here, I’ll take her back to the couch, Jimin.”

Haru stared at Jungkook’s outstretched hands, gentle and welcoming. She wished she could run into his arms and give him the biggest bear hug she could muster, but it was time to let everything go.

For her sake.

“It’s okay, I want Jimin to take me,” She said flatly, moving forward, signaling for Jimin to help her.

As they passed him, she closed her eyes at the pain in her heart. The look of hurt confusion that had painted his features at her words was something she would probably never get over. He didn’t do anything to deserve her cold shoulder. Not intentionally, and the guilt of that would plague her forever.

The dark gray that floated around her hands served to remind her so.

“Is everything okay with Haru?” Mei questioned as Jungkook stepped off the last stair. Hoseok was helping a customer, but Jungkook could tell he was half-listening for his response. “I think she’s got the worst of it out of her system,” He said plainly, grabbing Mei’s hand.

“That’s good then. I’m glad, but someone should probably give her some pain killers.”

“Yeah, I’ll ask Namjoon if he has any. He’s always loaded,” He chuckled.

“Who knew she’d take the news so well. She was so happy for us.”

“I know, right?”

“Hopefully she can handle her alcohol for the real thing,” Mei joked.

Jungkook looked down at the hand he was holding, a beautiful diamond ring daintily placed on her fourth ring finger - and smiled.

With some great pain pills that Namjoon had in his locker and some peppermint tea, Haru had been safely dropped off at her apartment. She still felt like absolute crap and didn’t understand why it was taking her so long to feel better. Had she really drunk so much or was it because she was such a lightweight?

“You know you can’t keep doing this to yourself, Haru,” Hoseok said as he plopped onto the couch next to Butter. Haru opened and closed a few times, thinking of what she could possibly say. She stuck with the simplest response she had.

“I know.”

He’d offered to stay the night with her just in case anything happened, and she had gratefully accepted. Haru was sat on the opposite side of Butter, gently his head. Hoseok reached over to scratch Butter under his chin, knowing that was one of his favorite spots. “You say you know, but this keeps happening. We’re getting so concerned for you and we don’t even know how to help.”

“I’m going to stop.”

Hoseok stopped Butter’s chin scratches, which he was enjoying thoroughly, to look up at Haru seriously.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“I’m going to stop loving him. Having feelings for him. If possible, I want to avoid him as much as I can. I just need to give myself some time.” Hoseok stared at her with a hint of sadness that made Haru lower her head. “You know that’ll hurt Jungkook, right?”

“I know. I know! God, I know, but I don’t know what else to do, Hoseok.” Haru found it difficult to swallow just thinking about it, thick and filled with bottled emotions. “I’m just so sick and tired of feeling like over something we both can’t control. I know it’s my fault and that I’m being selfish, but I can’t take it anymore.”

Hoseok got up from his seat on the couch and knelt in front of Haru, grabbing both of her gray misty hands in his. “Listen,” He said gently, “I love you. I’ll support you through this. You have me and you have the rest of the guys. We love you. We won’t let you drown, as much as you want to get through this by yourself. We’ll be there for Jungkook, too. I’m just happy you’re choosing yourself this time,” He smiled softly. “For a long time, I wished for you to find your happiness. And you’ve been happy, I know. But I want you to be happy and not have to suffer.”

After everything, could she have that type of happiness? Was that something she could achieve or even deserved?

“I love you,” She pouted, tackling Hoseok for a hug that sent them both to the ground. “I love you, too, but you’re kind of heavy.”

“Deal with it,” Haru retorted, a vibrant slither of yellow sneaking its way into the smothering gray of her hands. Hoseok chuckled loudly into her ear, the melodious sound echoing off the walls of her apartment.

“Gladly.”

Hoseok woke up to a stiff back and an aching body.

Feeling a weight on his arm, he looked down to find a peacefully sleeping Haru, cuddled up comfortably.

A sudden snore ripped through the silence of the apartment. Hoseok rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, but eventually giggled at the sight in front of him. He was just thankful that she wasn’t drooling on him.

As he