Dear diary,

I'll wait for you, Suho, in another life even if I died without marrying. I keep these feelings inside of me for so long that I don't know how to express myself anymore. But I will do what you asked me to do, I will live the rest of my life with my husband in peace and try not to cause trouble for him. Maybe we aren't meant to be, I'll move on, but if we have another life together, I'll definitely not let you go. I'll try to be nice to him and act like how a wife should act.

Sincerely,

Naeun

 

I dismiss all our butlers and maids in the house tonight and tomorrow just so I can talk to him freely.

But I wait until 11 at night and he hasn't came home yet. This is quite strange, normally he would be home by 9 at most.

I cooked a lot of food for our anniversary tomorrow and I want him to eat right now but he's not home.

 

Baekhyun's Pov

I honestly don't know what to do with tonight. So many thoughts about how I should let Naeun go but I'll be hurt to see her go. What should I do?

She's probably sleeping right now, since it's 10:30. I'm too caught up with these thoughts that I completely forgot about the time. Every year I tried to celebrate our anniversary together but every year she walked away from me. I'm hurt to see her act like this but I'm more hurt to see she still has that man in her heart. Big questions; Should I let her go or should I be selfish?

 

*Back to normal

He's finally home at 11:30 and I'm finally knocked out because of my age. I haven't noticed when he carries me into our room but I wake up when he enters the bathroom. Due to our age, I suggest that he shouldn't shower at midnight. He leaves the bathroom after changing and I don't know when I've been feeling like this. These feelings are like home whenever he's around me. He doesn't say anything but lies down on the bed and closes his eyes. I have to admit I'm too selfish and greedy for this man in front of me for 49 years. I tell myself that I have Suho and I should at least be emotionally be with him even if not physically.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” I ask, I'm kind of disappointed that he doesn't talk to me all day.

“Yes,” he replies in a cold tone. For once in our marriage that he uses that voice on me.

I just fall asleep not talking anymore after that, disappointment.

“Naeun-ah, I'll let you go so you can be with the man you truly love,” I can't comprehend his whisper but I feel something soft lands on my forehead.

From that night on, he treats me very differently, no longer the sweet self he used to be. I can't take it anymore as my health is decreasing. With my little strength, I ask Secretary Kim about Suho's address and I personally send a letter to him. I don't think I can live anymore, I'm feeling very weak right now.

Baekhyun comes home that day after many months since that night, and I try my best to smile at him. But I can't and I suddenly feel very light. I guess it's time to go to meet my parents and ask them.

I fall down the stairs but Baekhyun quickly grabs me before carrying me into the bedroom.

“Are you ok?” for so long now that I see he's worried about me.

“Yes… please...lay...me down,” I have trouble breathing. I can't control my feelings as I burst into tears. He sits next to me constantly checking my temperature. I can feel his warm hands again after a couple of months. I fall asleep under his hands that feel like home. I don't know when I stop breathing but I know I'm already leaving. I try to live the rest of my life with him but he's pushing me away like how I used to. I must accept my karma and I'll pay him back in the next life.

“Naeun-ah, wake up, I have a lot of things to do and say to you.”

 

*Baekhyun’s Pov

The moment I can't feel her breath I feel like my world is ending as well. If I knew this day would come this fast, then I wouldn't treat her the way I did. I tried everything so she can divorce me but what I saw a couple of months ago was sadness and disappointment. I ignored her, yelled at her just so she can leave and be happy with that man but she just died. Is it my fault that she's like this?

“Grandpa, there is this man in front of our house and he said he would like to meet you.”

“Okay,” I think I know who, “ prepare the necessary stuff for the funeral for your grandma.”

“Grandma... Grandma… wake up… don't leave me like this…” my grandson loves her a lot and he can't bear to even see a scratch on her.

“I'll go now, inform the others.” I leave the room but I can still hear him crying loudly and it pains my heart to see him like this.

I walk down the stairs as our memories flash me by and tears flow down my cheeks rapidly. How I missed those moments so much, just being with her I feel blessed.

“Suho, how can I help you?”

“What's wrong with the letter?” He asks as he holds up the letter.

“Secretary Kim, what is this?” My secretary enters the living room and checks the letter.

“Sir, a few days ago, Madame Byun asked me to deliver this to Mr.Kim here.”

“You said she's happy being with you but why did she send me the letter saying she can no longer live,” Suho gives me the letter.

 

Dear Suho,

It's time for me to go to meet my parents. I'm feeling so weak and incapable of doing anything right now. You told me to treat my husband well but I don't know what happened that he changed to a different person. It's like I'm living with a heartless man these couple of months. I've been thinking a lot about us, maybe we aren't meant to be together but I'll definitely pray to have another life with you. Maybe if we all have the next life together, then I pay back my husband for what he has done to me all these years. I love you, I won't deny that, but in my heart you're not the only man, my husband also takes up a spot without me knowing when. If you read this letter, then do me a favor. Can you ask what's wrong with him? I want to know before I die.

Sincerely,

Naeun

 

She wrote this letter to him because I've been ignoring her. She loves me? If I had known earlier, then we wouldn't be like this. But this is life, it's supposed to be full of what ifs.

“I said that I loved my wife so she can treat you better, I know she won't be happy with me as I have a family but at least I know you would make her happy. You guys are husband and wife, so I'm assured that she will be safe with you but look at what happens right now.”

“I'm…sorry..” I continue to sob.

“I don't need to hear that from you, Naeun does but she can't,” he looks like he wants to punch me, “I'll come to the funeral.” Then he leaves my house.

Life is short so we should treasure those we love because you won't know what would happen if fate decided to play with you.