Seungwan's having one of those days. When all her thoughts are dark and there's a storm itching beneath her skin. She wants the world to leave her alone and the simmering anger in her blood to dissipate. She wants the world to throw the first punch so she has an excuse to let loose. 

She's curled up in bed when she hears Joohyun return home, feels the bed dip with a familar warmth and weight.

Fingers slide into her hair and against her scalp and Seungwan feels all the tension drain away. There’s something about the way Joohyun touches her. The reverance, the tenderness, the unfettered honestly of Joohyun’s skin against makes Seugwan want to sob and cry and scream that she’s unworthy.

Maybe she's something broken and haphazardly put back together and doesn't want all those sharp and brittle edges to reach Joohyun.

Maybe Seungwan is so touch-starved and desperate that a gentle touch can evoke a reaction so visceral it makes her want to run into the night and lose herself in the cold and comforting dark.

Maybe she’s something wild and dangerous and Joohyun tames that part of her without trying to. And it scares her that she doesn’t mind at all.

‘I wish I didn’t need you.’ Seungwan’s whisper hangs between them, caught somewhere between the exhale and inahle, as if the air in Seungwan’s lungs formed the words and willed them into being, and her mind and had no choice in the matter.

Joohyun’s thumbs still for a moment before continuing to rub gentle circles at Seungwan’s nape, the baby hair, curling them around her fingers and loving Seungwan with her touch.

‘I don’t want to need you. But I need you. And I need you to need me. And I want to not need you. But I do.’ She shifts, slowly, so that those heavely hands won’t leave her hair, until her nose is pressed against the plane of Joohyun’s stomach and Joohyun envelopes all of her senses. She wants to take Joohyun in. Capture her in a breath and keep her. If Seungwan didn’t need to breathe, Joohyun could live inside her lungs forever, build herself a home in Seungwan’s life breath.

‘It hurts when you’re not here and it hurts when you’re here. But you make it that little bit easier, and it hurts less to breathe when you’re here. But I don’t want that, you know? I should be better and I should be stronger and I shouldn't need you like this but I do.’

Joohyun’s fingers cup her chin and her thumbs the back of Seungwan’s ears, until all Seungwan hears is Jooyhyun’s touch against skin and the roaring of her own heart. ‘I love you. And I’m sorry I’m like this.’

‘I love you too, Seungwan-ah. And you’ll be alright. I promise.’