Wendy pulls down the neck of her ridiculous turtleneck and inhales frantically. She swears their stylist is trying to kill her. First the semi-permanent bangs and then a turtleneck that’s literally choking her. If she doesn’t have murder on her mind, Wendy will eat her skirt.

She hates all the Gayos. She really does. Because that’s when their stylist pulls out all the really whack outfits. Tonight she’s in an alpaca wool turtleneck and an ostrich feather skirt. That’s not high fashion, that’s just insane.

There’s only one thing that makes it tolerable. One small, really, really, really adorable thing. Irene. The leader and rapper of charismatic girl group Perfect Velvet .

She uses Joy’s taller frame to conceal herself as she sneaks a peak over at Perfect Velvet. Irene, Seulgi, and Yeri are watching Mamamoo bring the house down and Wendy giggles to herself when she sees how psyched up Irene is.

“Stop staring at her like a creep and go slide her your number.” Joy hunches down in her seat just enough to expose Wendy.

Wendy immediately yanks her turtleneck up to her nose. “I can’t just slide her my number! I’m not that smooth.” She whines.

“Fine! Just go talk to her then.”

“I’m no good at talking to pretty girls. I don’t even think she knows who I am.”

“Wendy-unnie, we’re The Red, super y, super fierce, and super famous. We were literally on the stage performing. The Perfect Velvet members were literally screaming our fanchant. Irene literally knew all the words to your rap.”

Joy makes a convincing argument, but Wendy won’t be persuaded so easily. “Wanda is fierce! But Wendy isn’t!”

Joy grabs her bottle of cola and downs it like it’s a beer. “That’s only because you picked that horrible stage name. Wanda. What kind of stage name is that?!”

“A fierce one! Like Beyoncé! I’m Wanda Fierce, you know?”

Joy looks around for another bottle of cola, when she can’t find one, she sighs. “If you do nothing, nothing will happen.”

“I’ll try something next time.”

“Fine. But If you don’t, I’ll get stylist-unnie to put you in something really special.”

Wendy gulps and prays that she’ll have the courage. Next time.

 

 

Wendy nervously rubs her palms down the fabric of her almost scandalously short dress. It’s a neon green net. Which is appropriate because she feels trapped between Joy’s threats and the neighbouring table filled with incredibly attractive people.

This is it. She’s gonna do it. She’s going to give Irene her number. She takes a deep breath, she stands up, and then she walks right past Perfect Velvet’s table.

She makes it to the kitchen before Joy catches up to her.

“Unnie, I thought you said you were gonna slide her your number.”

"I am!"

Joy raises her eyebrow in disbelief. “From the kitchen?”

“Yes! Oppa said that putting numbers into sandwiches is the way to a girl’s heart!”

“Is it because it’s through the stomach?”

“No idea, he didn’t really go into detail.” Wendy had texted him at three in the morning and had gotten a reply that was half emoji and half keysmash.

“How are you going to slip it into her sandwich though? Which layer are you going to put it in? Cabbage salad? Strawberry jam? Potato and egg salad? Why does it sound like three separate sandwiches instead of one?”

“Apparently people usually unwrap one side, slip their number in, and then rewrap it!” Wendy says, waving a baby blue post-it note excitedly.

“Exactly how successful has your oppa been?”

“They’ve been dating for about a year now!”

“Maybe he was the exception and not the norm!”

“It’s going to work! Trust me!”

“Unnie?”

“Yes?”

“How do you know which one is Irene’s sandwich?”

 

 

 

Wendy did not know which sandwich was going to be Irene’s. However, Joy had a plan.

“Taeyeon-unnie! Please!”

Their manager pinches the bridge of her nose and scowls. “How many times do I have to tell you, I am not going to ask Jess for Irene’s number!”

Wendy can’t tell if she’s exasperated at the request or because they’ve dragged her into an unlit broom closet and refused to let her out.

“Why not? She’s their manager, she’s bound to know!” Wendy pouts.

“Because asking your ex for another girl’s number is a really move?”

“Pleaseeeeeeee?”

“Can’t you hide your number in her sandwich? That’s how Jess and I started dating.”

“I don’t know which one is Irene’s!”

Taeyeon sighs. “Give it here, I’ll do it.”

Wendy gives her the slip of paper.

“Are all your full stops little hearts? My god you are so smitten.”

“Unnie!”

 

 

Wendy, Joy, and Taeyeon are sitting at their table, trying to look unassuming whilst also trying to eavesdrop.

They see Jessica drop off a platter of sandwiches before walking away. While Perfect Velvet is distracted by the food, she blows a kiss toward Taeyeon

“Awwww, unnie, she blew you a kiss! How did you convince her anyway?” Joy sniggers.

Taeyeon reddens and sinks lower into her seat. “Just pay attention to Irene!” She hisses.

“She’s got her sandwich!” Wendy says, clapping in excitement,

They watch as Irene picks up a sandwich, brings it close to her face, and frowns before handing it to Seulgi, who unwraps and bites into it with a smile on her face. She demolishes the sandwich, Wendy’s number and all.

Irene then takes Seulgi’s sandwich and begins to nibble at it.

“Unnie, what kind of sandwich did you slip my number into?”

“Chicken. Why?”

“Irene doesn’t eat chicken.”

“How was I supposed to know!”

 

 

Wendy claps and cheers when Irene scores a perfect bullseye.

“Unnie, we’re against Perfect Velvet. She’s the enemy.”

“But she broke the camera!” Wendy wishes that Irene had shot her instead.

“Still the enemy!”

“She got us all chicken!”

“Fine.”

“You’re in an awfully good mood today.”

“I did it!”

“DId what?”

“I got Taeyeon-unnie to slip my number into her lunch box!”

“Last time you tried this, Seulgi ate it.”

“Unnie stuck it onto the lid! There’s no way anybody’s going to be eating it! I laminated it!”

Wendy’s phone chimes and she almost screams from excitement.

Dear Miss Shon, Twice is currently under a dating ban at this time. Kindly refrain from giving members your number until 2020. Thanking you kindly, JYP Entertainment.

She drops her phone one shock and turns to look at the Twice members. Everyone has the same lunchbox, except for Momo, who has two. She sends Wendy a pair of finger hearts before taking a bite out of her kimbap.

“Unnie you were right! The way to a girl’s heart is through the stomach!”

“Shut up.”

 

 

Wendy crouches behind the shoe shelf next to the front door. She’s small enough that it completely obscures her from view.

“What are you doing?” Joy comes out of nowhere.

Wendy shrieks and falls backward.

“What the hell, Joy! Where did you even come from?!”

“My room. Because I live here. What are you doing?”

“Well, before you scared ten years off my life, I was planning on scaring Seulgi when she comes over for movie night.”

“Seulgi is coming over? For movie night? Kang Seulgi, goddess of charisma? From Perfect Velvet?

“Yes, to all of those!”

“You’re friends with Seulgi?”

“Yes to that too!”

“Why haven’t you asked her for Irene’s number?”

“...”