three

Somehow, I don't even know how but I began spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts to this stranger named Luhan. I would not exactly really call him a stranger because he is a friend of Byun but to me, he is since we have no idea about each other other than our identities as Byun's friend. However, I felt like he would keep my thoughts to himself only. I have no idea why I was so trusting towards a stranger. It might be due to my emotions being in a complete whirl after what I had to face previously.

So I began talking, and honestly it felt like I've been talking for hours and I honestly thought he wasn't listening because he had his eyes close and his arms crossed, leaning against the bench we sat on. I was about to smack him in the head for making me talk so long but I stopped myself when I noticed his occasional nods in between my incessant chatter. That relieved me somehow that I wasn't talking to a block of wall.

"Byun Baekhyun, as you know, has been my best friend and my only friend. We grew up together, did everything together as much as we can and somehow, along the way, I fell for him. I didn't fall for him straightaway of course, that would have been ridiculous. But as time went by, the feelings that I once thought would go away as soon as we grew up, only grew stronger. I have accepted that I am in love with my best friend and that he won't look at me the same way but I am willing to keep my feelings to myself as long as our friendship isn't ruined. I don't want my feelings to destroy a friendship built over the years. However, I still can't help myself from getting hurt and jealous. I try not to, but it is kind of impossible when he is around me all the time," I said while playing with the loose knots on my skirt. 

His silence allowed me to continue my story with ease, "Usually, I would not be as bothered because I know most of the girls were temporary or they were just using him so they would leave sooner or later and I will be there to comfort Byun but this time, I think it is going to be way different. I know I am supposed to be happy for him since it seems like he has finally found the one and I am happy but I still can't stop thinking, why can't it be me? Why can't it be more of a best friend for him? I guess now, I will never know," sighing I kept quiet indicating that I was done talking and that he could do whatever he wants know be it laugh at me for being ridiculous or just find me weird and leave me alone.

After a few seconds that went agonizingly long, he spoke up, "I get why you are hiding your feelings towards him but I suggest one day, you should tell him. If he is really your best friend like you said he is, you would know how he would react towards your confession, be it bad or good. I assure you one day, you wouldn't be able to keep your feelings bottled up and convey it in the worst way possible. I hope before that happens, you can gain courage and do it. But, at the end of the day it is still your choice. Now, since we are done talking, how about I send you home. I think we have spent enough time for Baek to consider it fine that you go home," he uttered with a small smile etched on his face.

I kept quiet for awhile because I was thinking, this stranger that I would somehow now call my acquaintance, Luhan knew that I was uncomfortable here and I wanted to leave as soon as possible especially after seeing Byun and his girlfriend but I did not want to disappoint Byun at the same time thus he spent his time with me when he could be having fun inside with his friends. I was touched and usually I would reject offers to send me home other than Byun but I think this time I could make an exception. So I nod before saying, "I need to inform Byun first though or else he would throw a fit at me knowing that I left without saying goodbye." He just replied with a small "hmm" and I made my way to where Byun is.

I headed to the living room where I saw Byun cuddling with his girlfriend, he was playing with her lucsious brown locks while she was talking to him, an action he often did to me when I was talking to show that he was listening to what I was saying. There was a bitter taste in my mouth as I realised that I wasn't the only one he d