One Last Time

One Last Time

“For the last time, I’ll ask you again. . . We cannot solve this problem if you keep on insisting that you didn’t do anything, when in fact, you have a mistake too . . .”

“Oh so you’re saying that I’m making a story, is that what you’re trying to say?”

“No of course not Maam, but you also have to understand that were just doing our job, and if you wont cooperate with us then theres nothing we can do about this”

“Ah whatever, when I come back, I want to see this done, I don’t want to see this mess again, I’m paying you, more than your worth so you have to do your job properly”

“Dont worry Maam, You’ll see tonight, there will be no breakdown that will happen again”

“Make sure of it”

Hi Love, Do you still remember the first time we met. It was not a pleasant first meeting but it left an impact to me. You were the annoying technician back then, and I think I was the arrogant boss, that everyone could hate. You don’t know how mad I was at you, when I came home that night, and read your final note.

“ . . . Its fixed now Ms. Kim, I hope your satisfied with what I did, and I hope next time, you would treat us, your employees, like one of your golds, cause if it weren’t for us, you wouldn’t be on the top. I’m not demanding at you, I’m just reminding you, so have a good night . . .”     

It was the first time, I encountered, an employee, fighting back to his boss. It was annoying but I admit it was a courageous thing you ever did, your job was always at stake whenever you argue with me, but still you fight for your right. I have the power to terminate you from my company but I still want you, maybe because even though your annoying your still the best technical engineer I could have and letting you go away, is the worst decision I would do.    

Do you still remember that? . . .

anbureul mureodo daedabi eomneun neo

(You don’t respond when I ask how you’re doing)

nal boneun pyojeongdo hyanggireul ireosseo

(Your expression toward me has lost its scent)

chimmungman beonjineun sungandeuri nal jinacheo

(Moments with silence spreading pass by me)

Hi there my Love, Are you ok?

Do you still feel hurt?

Do you hear me?

Can you see me?

Do you still recognize me? . . . . .

Do you still want me? . . . .

Do you remember the time you confess your feelings to me? It was the most embarrassing moment for me, but I love it. Imagine you shouted at the middle of the park with all the people around, how much you love me.

“Kim Taeyeon-ah!! Saranghae!!! . . . I LOVE YOU!!!”

I was so ashamed at that time, so I was pulling you to sit down, but deep inside I am so proud of you, you were really a brave man, you don’t mind what other people say and that I should learn from you. So when I was about to answer your biggest question to me, it takes me 6 months before I could master up the courage to tell the world how much I love you. You don’t know how much beer, wine, champagne, soju or any liquid I drank to reach that amount of courage. So when you ask me that, I did what you did. I stand on top of the stool, and shouted to the world, how much you mean to me.

“YES!! BYUN BAEKHYUN!  . . . I LOVE YOU!!! and I accept you in my life”

And because I was drank, I got the courage to pull you close to me and kiss your soft lips. That was my first kiss, and I’m glad that I did it on you. I kissed you passionately in the middle of the crowd, not minding the people around us, all I think is that its only the two of us in our small world.       

And you remember what you said afterwards?

“Wow, that was so not you . . . But I love it . . .”

It was not my thing to be so clingy and so affectionate towards my partner, but because you are my partner, you got to change me, in a good way somehow.

neoye nun sok damgyeo inneun geu mal

(That word contained in your eyes)

sumi chaolla deutgo shipji ana

(My breath shortens, I don’t want to hear it)

shiganeul meomchweo ipsureul ttejineun ma

(Stop the time, don’t open your lips)

jigeum neol ilchi anke hae jweo Yeah

(Don’t make me lose you now, yeah)

Oh is it hurt??

SHHH!!! Don’t cry, just keep your words.

You have to be strong.

Don’t worry I’m just right here.

Hi Love, I saw your brother a while ago and he’s asking about you. Well, I told him that your doing well now. You know what I saw some marks on his arms, probably a scratch, Do you know that he and his wife are fighting again? This time its getting more physical. I just told your brother to understand his wife too, try to be calm, they should talk about it, and you know what he told me?.

“Huh . . Look who’s advising, as if you didn’t do it. If I know, whenever you and Baekhyun are fighting, all your neighbors wants to leave their houses, to escape from your screaming loud voices.. . .”     

You know when I heard that, I laugh real hard. Are we really that loud? Hahaha . . .I suddenly remember the time we had a fight over a small money, that was one of the lamest fight we ever had.

“Yah! BYUN BAEKHYUN! Don’t you dare turn your back on me while I’m talking to you”

“Oh please! Taeyeon were not in your office, I’m not your employee now for damn sake, will you please stop shouting at me!”     

“Oh really? And do you think that’s a valid excuse, for me to forget what you did earlier?”

“Oh come on, aren’t we done with that? Since lunch til now, you’ve been bugging me out over that small thing, its getting late now, can we stop? I’m tired!”

“ahh Small thing? You waste a hundred dollar just for a game match? You call that a small thing?”

“Taeyeon its just a hundred dollar! Why are you so frustrated about that?”

“Baekhyun, its just a hundred dollar for you, but for me, it more than thousand, I’ve been working everyday for that, and your gonna waste it for some junk?!”

“What? I used my own money for that, and don’t you dare boast your money to me, because I am also working hard for that, and so what?  if I waste it, you have no right to tell me what to do with my money, why don’t you take care of yours, instead of bothering me here, besides your money is more important to you right?”

“How dare you? I gave everything you have now, and your telling me that?”

“I didn’t ask for that, you gave it to me. You know whats the problem about you? your so controlling, you want everything to be as you want, you cant hold everyone in your hand Taeyeon. They have their own decision, I have my own decision, not all the time I will depend on you, and let me remind you if you forget, we are a partner, a couple. I am your boyfriend, I’m not just any of your employee . . . .  I don’t know why I fell in love you!.”

“Ahh so you’re regretting everything now”

“YES!! I regret loving a person like you!!”

Did you know that I cried all night, because of your last words. You were right, sometimes I’m being so unreasonable,and insensitive. I didn’t know that I’m already hurting you.

Also remember one time when we almost broke up, because of me again?

“I’m sorry Taeyeon, I cant stay like this anymore”

“But Baek, Please . . please don’t go, We can talk about this . ..”

“I’m sorry Taeyeon, but I don’t lo-. . .”

“Please, don’t say it, . ..if your finally decided, then I’ll let you go”

Do you know that I only realize all the things you’ve said when you left me. . . . they were right, you’ll know the worth of a person if they left you, and I did. Do you know how much I regret everything I’ve said?. I was so scared that you wont come back, but I guess you do really love me because you come back after 2 days

How I wish we wouldn’t go through those challenges again.  

eonjena nae mameun han ppyeom deo neuryeotji

(My heart was always a beat slower)

byeonhwareul weonhamyeon meomulgil baraetji

(If you wanted change, I wanted to stay the same)

eoneusae naranhi seotteon du georeumeun eogeunna

(The two steps that were side by side are out of step)

Hi Love, I met your office mate, Chanyeol at the lobby, Do you know that his mother just died yesterday, I was so shocked. She was so young, she was still strong when I met her last month. Death has no age, its really unpredictable just like love, right? you wouldn’t know when will it hit us.

I suddenly remember how we use to be when were starting. We were so different, our family, our lifestyle, even our personalities, but you know what, even though were different, you still captured my heart at one shot. You’ve change everything on me, steps by step you’ve turn my world upside down. Remember, you used to tell me to at least lessen my being bossy, even though its hard I still try my best to change.