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“ Hotel Combined artist of the year is . .I’ll announce it now . .  . the winner is . . BTS!!” and we all stood up.

Here we are standing at the artist seat trying to stay calm, honestly I am a bit disappointed that we didn’t made it to be the artist of the year in MAMA, although we got the album of the year, its till a pity that we didn’t grab the daesang award, but BTS really does well this year, it was a tough match, they also deserved this award. I clap for them specially for my friend V or Taehyung in real name. Well instead of putting ourselves down, the members gathered together at the encore stage and congratulated BTS for their win, there’s no reason to be sad, we got 3 awards this year and besides I have my number one fan here.

“Hyung!”

“YAhh!! congartulations!! Taehyung!!”

“WAH!! I thought you’ll say Taeyeon again”

“shhh!! others might hear you!! huh, why do you have to be with the same name with my Tae- I mean with noona!”

“hmm noona? Huh, I bet you want to call her honey now! Hahaha”

“YAH stop it now, lets just talk about your award ok? Enough with my personal life?”

“Ok ok” and we walked together to the stage while having a little talk.

“Baek, she’s right there, why don’t you approach her?”

“Hyung, Theres a lot of fans, not here. . .”

“Well its your choice but don’t complain to me later that you don’t get to talk to her, or else I’ll smack you in your face”

“Arraso!”

Xiumin Hyung is really spoiling me when it comes to her, well he was the first one to support our relationship before, and he was the one who taught me to hold on when I feel like giving up on our relationship. He just really want me to be happy, his my support all through out my dating life with her, unlike Suho Hyung, who keeps on separating us on public which I really understood, he just want to protect the group from my careless decisions.

Few days to go and another year will pass by so fast, it seems that time really past by when your busy, and It will be 2 years soon since we separate ways, I wonder how she is doing? Is she happy now?     

dareun gonggane dareun shiganijiman

(It’s a different place, a different time)

nae sarangi majeul kkeoya

(But my love is right)

barame seuchineun neoye hyanggirodo

(Even by your scent that passes with the wind)

nan neoin geol al su isseo

(I know it’s you)

Another day had passed again, my day was full of practiced. They say that to be successful, practice is the key, so here I am with all work hard, practicing my vocals, on one of my favorite rooms here in our company.

“huh! So tired . .  I’ll just take a break” it was past midnight now, and my members were now at the dorm, while I chose to stay. I thought that I’ll just get my mind tired thinking about her, so why can’t I make myself drained in practice, that will make more sense,right? So after a few minutes, I started again to practice.

Then a song played, which is so memorable for me, the song I used to practice when I was a trainee, and when I first met her as my mentor. Suddenly flashbacks are showing up in my mind, the times that she would look at me, in the eye when I sang in front of her, that made me choke in the middle of the song, the times when she gave me her sweet smile every time I successfully belted a high note, the times we used to waste time here on the same spot, just seating together on the floor, catching a breath after the long vocal practice. I just smile thinking of those times, this room filled with so much memories of us, which I doubt that I would forget in my whole life.

On this place is also where I confessed to her, I know that from the very first time that I saw her, I already fall for her, but I didn’t know that I would fell madly in love to her, up to this moment, after a break up news, rumors or what ever they call it, I know that I still love her, there’s nothing change, after a year, only my hair color has change but not my eyes and feeling for her.

After reminiscing the past I heard a foot steps coming, so I open my eyes and as expected, she was there, I look at her  and she also looks at me and for how long? I don’t know, suddenly I smiled, seeing her looking fine, I’m satisfied.

“I knew it, . .  it was you”

“ahh how did you know?”

“I can smell your perfume from miles from here” she laugh and I smiled. I ‘m glad that she looks happy now.

“I’m just wondering why the lights here are on, so I check in and then I see you, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“well I am practicing, how about you? Who are you with?

“I’m just alone, my mangers all went home, I stay behind to practice”

“ You what? Didn’t I told you to never stay here late at night without your mangers? Its so dangerous for a girl like you to stay up late without any companion”

“ok ok, but I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry. ahh I stayed for while, and now I’m on my way out? Want me to wait for you?”

And like the old times, she waited for me, although she doesn’t need to, she still wait for me, like the times when I’m practicing for our first concert, she would stay up really late just to support me.

“I’m done” and we walk to the elevator, an awkward silence filled us, a silence that was so comfortable to listen. We didn’t say any word till we reach the basement and head to our own cars.

“so, ahh good bye? . .”

“ah goodbye! Sunbaenim!” and as respect I gave her one last bow for that night and she drove off.

“goodbye, huh take care Taeyeonah. . .  I lov- ah . . . nevermind” then I drove off to my destination.              

But I don’t know

nae mamsoge eonjebuteo niga san geonji

(When did you start living in my heart?)

I don’t know

neoreul bomyeon seolleneun iyu

(The reason my heart flutters when I see you)

“Bonsang goes to . . .  RED VELVET!!” And the crowd again goes wild.

Again another, awards night to attend, were now in Seoul music award and here I am sitting very far away from my love, I hate the coordinator, why can’t we sit at least closely together, just like before, now there are two groups sitting in between of us.

. . . few hours ago . . .

I can’t concentrate on my sit, thinking that she’s not around yet, and the awarding is already starting.

“tsk . .  where is she?” I mumble to myself

“Relax, Hyung I saw her at the dressing room, I think she arrived late”

“Chill, Baek, she’ll come out don’t worry, your missing her so much” and they started to tease me. I didn’t know that they already noticed my being impatient to see her, I hate my members on occasions like this, they always tease me while I try to restrain from smiling, which is very hard to do.

“YAH! Hyung!!” Sehun snap me from my dozing off . . .

“She’s coming out. . .” and I straight up my sit while I look at where would she possibly sit. While I’m busy searching for her possible seat, Xiumin Hyung suddenly tap my hand then I finally saw her. My heart is not just beating but pounding really hard, when I laid my eyes on her, I literally drool when I saw her she was so perfect, she looks so beautiful with her long black hair and that beautiful see through dress, which make her look hot for me.

I look at her from head to toe, then I straight up again when I see my members looking at me with a teasing look.

“Easy Hyung, she might melt if you keep looking at her . . relax . .”

“Aish!!” Thats all I can say. I watch her walk pass our table, I try to be on a straight face, but I can’t, I can’t stop smiling whenever I see her, I’m so in love with her. She’s the one making me happy, making my heart flutter.

She walks out with some crew members, leading her to her seat, I know that there are a lot of fans watching us, hearing the cheer of the crowd, when she came out, But I still look at her, hoping that she will at least glance at me for a second, and I’m glad that she did.

Yes she did, look at me but just half a second, but still I’m glad that she looks at me.

“Yiee, now are you happy? “ Xiumin Hyung suddenly ask me as I was smiling like a creep. I didn’t speak, I just nod as I keep on looking on where would the crew lead her.  

“the 8th Bonsang winner goes to . . . TAEYEON!!”

The moment I heard her name, I immediately stand up, and gave her a big round of applause, she worked hard the past year so she deserve this award, man. . . I’m so proud of her. There I didn’t stop myself from smiling.

“Congrats! Baek!!” Chen whispered to me then the other members started to look at me again with their teasing look.

“WHAT?” I said to them, and they just cant stop teasing me with their eyes.

I looked at her walking up the stage and for the second time my heart had been snatch when she take a glance at me, it was so short but God knows we made an eye contact, there I cant help but to let my emotion flow out of me, I was so proud.

Gosh, even after that horrible heartbreak she still manage to made my heart flutter, make me happy, I wonder if I still made her feel that way despite that what happened, I hope I do and I hope that she’s doing fine, because I’m happy seeing her smiling like that, I hope that smile is true.     

nareul seucheo jinagado dwae niga nal

(You can pass me by because you)

da ijeosseunikka

(Forgot about me)

niga gieokal ttaekkaji naneun neoreul

(Because until you remember I will)

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