jjijeojin jongitjogage

( On a piece of ripped paper )
damanaen naye jinshime

( I wrote down how I feel about you )
seonmyeonghaejyeo somethin’ bout you 

(It becomes clear somethin’ bout you)

"Let's . . . beak up now"

"What? . ." the big silence make us deaf.

"Lets stop this, I can't do this anymore"

"No! please . . . don't do this to me . . .TAEYEON . ." he hold my hand and kneels down begging for me to take my words back.

"Please, Baekhyun!! Don’t make this hard for me . . . "

I didn't notice that tears started to run down my face. After a year and five months, I felt tired, dealing with those stupid fan out there, threatening me and my family, after thinking for God knows how long, I decided to quit.

“ Please, don’t leave me. . . Taeyeon, Noona!! please!! . .  I love you so much, I can adjust my time for you, if you want me to be there beside you all day, I can find a way to do it, I am adjusting  . .  for you! For us! . . . you can’t do this to me, Taeyeon! Yo can’t just quit like this” He was crying.

“Baekhyun please! . . If you really love me, you’ll make me happy, and being away from you, makes me at peace, if that will not make me happy, well at least I can live my life now without worrying of anything. Loving you is not a mistake, I love you Baekhyun, so much, but loving you is like hugging a cactus, it hurts me, Baek, now if you really love me . . .You’ll set me free and be happy for me . . .” then I walked away, avoiding his face, it’s not easy for me to let him go, when my heart beats only to him, but this is the right thing to do.

‘Hi Baekhyun, it’s been a year and five months since we broke up, I hope your doing fine, I couldn’t help but to still look for you, and because of that I stupidly like a video of you and Chanyeol that Jaewon Oppa posted on sns. I forgot that were now strangers, though my hearts really wants you back, but I can’t. I’ll just write all my feelings for you, feelings that I won’t ever have a chance to say it again to you. I love you . . . Sarangaheyo . . .Baekhyun’

Yeah nareul manhi dalmeun deut dareun

(Yeah you’re similar to me but different)

neon hokshi nawa gateulkka jigeum 

(I wonder if you’re the same as me now)

gwaenhan gidaereul hae 

( I get my hopes up)

haru han dal il nyeonjeum doemyeon 

( When a day, a month, a year passes )

seoro dareun ilsangeul saraga 

( We each live different lives )

Today I was scheduled to attend again this MAMA alone this year, I fly to Hongkong a day before the ceremony, everything was fine until a certain crap happened. I’m still feel awkward attending awards show like this specially that I’m alone and he’s here. The last time I attend this awards night was with Tiffany and Seohyun, now that I came alone, feeling alone and and feeling so awkward.

“Now for our next performer, our this year’s best collaboration EXO’s Baekhyun and Miss A’s Suzy!” and the crowd went wild.

Oh crap, after my manger told me about the cancellation of my collaboration with that American guy, now this welcomes me? The best collaboration? WOW! With a poker face, I try to not get affected, and watch as if there’s nothing wrong. I really tried hard to control myself specially my emotions, cause I know all eyes were on me, when it comes to him, and pretending is what I’m expert at, pretending to be fine, when my tears were about to fall at that time, luckily, the light were a bit dimmer, nobody noticed my silent cries.

‘Hi Baekhyun, I’m here again writing to you, my feelings. A year had passed, I am so happy on what your achieving, seeing you slowly getting attention, appreciation and recognition of what you’ve worked hard, makes me so happy and proud. You really did your promise, before we part ways, that you’ll work hard, proving yourself to people, and I’m really proud of you, I wanted to shout to the world how proud I am that you are my boyfriend, but then I realize, were now strangers.’

naneun aniya 

(I’m not like that)

swibji aneul geot gata 

(You keep taking up every day of my life)

yeojeonhagedo neon nae haruharureul chaeugo 

(It won’t be easy for me)

“So you’ve liked again an oreo cookie on sns”

“ahh I accidentally liked it . .”

“seriously Taeyeon!, how many time did you told me that exact reason, every time I ask you that?”

“aghhh what ever . . “

“oh my!!”

“WHAT?!”

“oh please don’t hide you phone Tae, I already saw it, you stalking him again?”

“Ahh I can’t help it, I heard that his on the way to Japan for their concert, I just want to check him out”

“hmmm!!! Your still hoping for him, You want him back, right?”

“hmm as much as I wanted to but I have to keep my word, and beside I am the one who broke up with him”

“so what? you know what,just put down your pride, if you really love him, and want him back in to your life, just go for him before its too late, don’t let both of your feelings wash out, you might regret it.”

“huh . . . I don’t know Fany, It not that easy, its not easy for me . . .”

ajigeun aniya

(It’s not time yet)

babocheoreom doenoeneun na 

(I keep repeating it to myself like a fool)

ipgae maemdoneun mareul samkil su eopseo 

(I can’t swallow the words that are in my mouth)

“ahh Hi!”

“Hi!~”

Its been a while since we last saw each other. We suddenly bump on each  here at the company.

“ahh what are you doing here?”

“ahh I’m practicing for my next performance, ahh how about you?”

“ahh just had a meeting with the directors for our debut in May”

“Oh right, CBX will debut soon in Japan right?”

“oh yes, haha wow! Still updated huh? Haha”

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