The rest of their night at the carnival went off without any real issues. Jinyoung either made sure to face Mark while talking to him, or used the notes in his pocket. Playing around they started sticking them any place they could, cracking up about it while everyone looked at them like they were crazy. Mark did most of the pulling, forcing Jinyoung on every ride he could before he was dragged over to one of the games where Jinyoung had to knock down the milk jugs to win a prize.

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at how Mark kept pointing up to one of the giant blue teddy bears. The man said Jinyoung had 3 chances to get that one, he did it on the first go. Dynamically he knew where to hit to get them all to tumble down, simple physics. His best subject. The man’s eyes went wide at the sight before he reached up to tug the bear down that Mark wanted. He hugged the bear close to his chest with one of his hands before he reached out to have Jinyoung take his other hand. Jinyoung happily laced their fingers together before they went to show off Mark’s new bear. Youngjae gasped and signed something to Mark, he had no hands to sign back so he shrugged.

“It was his first try.”

Jinyoung smiled proudly, happy that Mark was bragging about him.

“We should go, I think it’s closing for the night.” Yugyeom said, hugging the stuffed animal he had won for himself. Jinyoung checked his watch and nodded, the time was getting pretty late. Close to midnight already.

“Do you have a curfew? We can go out for food if you’d like.”

Mark watched and dropped Jinyoung’s hand to check his phone for the time, he quickly shot a text out before smiling to himself.

“We’re all yours.” He said, Youngjae nodded in agreement patting at his stomach.

“Any luck Jaebum?” Jinyoung said with a smug smile, Jaebum shoved his shoulder playfully and Jinyoung smiled brightly as he wrapped his arm around his friend and started for the parking lot.

“You take Mark. I’ll follow with the rest in my car.” Youngjae said and Jinyoung looked over at Mark with a content smile. He unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat, Mark climbed in next to him and did up his seat belt.

Typically Jinyoung would offer whoever was sitting with him the right to be the dj, but he knew that music was pretty irrlevant right now. He turned the radio off entirely before pulling out of the parking spot. Once he knew Youngjae was behind him Jinyoung focused on driving, talking wouldn’t be easier since he had to focus on the road.

Mark didn’t seem to mind.

Halfway through driving Mark moved and turned the radio on, flipping through stations which had Jinyoung amused before he settled back in his seat, reaching over Mark let his hand lazily rest on Jinyoung’s wrist playing with the soft skin.

“Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you can’t. I’m sure you’re going crazy in the quiet.” Mark said softly, looking out of the window. Jinyoung appreciated how he seemed to be looking out for him even if he didn’t ask for it.

Jinyoung thought while he drove, using the time to process everything that had happened. The roads were pretty empty at this hour which allowed Jinyoung more comfort letting his mind wander. Not too much, he had something precious in the car with him.

The time they had spent together was special, not rushed, quiet. Not because Mark lived in quiet but because they never needed to fill the awkward space with words. Jinyoung never had that before. His ex often criticized him for being such a bookworm. Would make him feel like total garbage for not communicating more. To be fair, he considered communication literally any conversation, nothing relevant to feelings or personal self. Jinyoung could not care about the new blazer he bought and it would launch the biggest fight, at least for the night.

But for some reason he let that stick. Maybe because it was his longest relationship, a guy he lost his ity to, someone he trusted. Mark didn’t seem to care about trivial things. He never needed more from Jinyoung than Jinyoung seemed willing to give, even now that they half had a talk about maybe heading in a different direction Mark was still willing to be patient while Jinyoung put himself back together. A thing he never thought he wanted to try doing, but now that he had someone worth it waiting for him- well. He knew he had to get his act together.

But still. His schedule was so demanding what if Mark got tired of it? What if Mark got bored of it. Jinyoung hardly made time for people during the week, but he guessed Mark already had his time. To be fair they also had plans for monday night which for Jinyoung was almost unheard of, even in his last relationship and he lived with the guy. Jinyoung was very set in his ways, more so to ensure that he would have the bright future his parents set out for him.

Was that cliche of him? To still follow the strict schedule laid out by his parents from a very young age. The time frames, the set dates for set things, always being early or exactly on time. To dress a set way, speak a set way or accept a life of trouble. He knew, at least he struggled with accepting that mess in life was acceptable. Meeting Mark made him late to things he had never before been late to, and he was still standing. Not that he needed to be late to everything, that was insane, but it made him understand more that being late wasn’t the end all.

Torn between the two worlds colliding Jinyoung pulled up at a late night restaurant similar to the one he found himself drunk at the week before. They managed to find parking on the street since it was late enough nobody was really out. Jinyoung breaking from Mark to get out of the car, ensuring it was safe to cross before taking his hand again to head towards the illuminated sign of the restaurant.

“Please tell me this place has beer.” Jackson said as soon as he got out of the car, rushing up to Jinyoung wrapping his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders yanking him away from Mark.

Pouting at the two Mark looked around for Youngjae who rushed to his side.

“Turns out lover boy over there hasn’t gone near another guy in half a year. You must be special to him.” Youngjae signed, smirking while doing so earning his hands a playful swat from Mark who started to blush.

“He is special to me, I am happy to hear I’m special to him.”

“His friends said they figured out you two knew each other when you gave Jinyoung the note. The one with the eye freckles… Jaebum? He said he’s seen Jinyoung with the notes everywhere. That’s why he forced Jinyoung to take you out tonight. To push him to finally getting over his ex.”

Mark stopped moving and looked at Youngjae with a confused look on his face.

“Our notes? They’ve… He keeps them with him?”

“They said he’s changed, and it’s probably because of you. He smiles more, talks more, he was even late to work the other day. They like the person he’s becoming, but they didn’t know who you were. I said I knew you were talking to someone, but I had never met them. I like Jinyoung, he’s kind to you.”

“He is a very kind soul, distant and cold at times. But never cruel. You can tell he’s scared, as he told me earlier. He’s broken, but I’ll fix him. Eventually.”

“Maybe he can help fix you as well.”

Mark frowned, pushing Youngjae at that last comment before he rushed inside the building to find Jinyoung. They had already sat down though the seat next to Jinyoung was left empty for him. Not even questioning if it was actually for him or not Mark proudly took his place by Jinyoung’s side and gave him a smile to let him know he was happy to see him. Jinyoung returned the smile effortlessly and slid the little menu over to Mark so he could decide what he wanted.

The woman came up to ask for everyone's orders, Jinyoung ordered for he and Mark as he pointed to the two things on the menu he wanted. Scribbling down everything on a little pad she walked off to get their order started, Jinyoung pulling his post-it notes out of his pocket and setting them down for Mark to use if he wanted. Taking the pad Mark started to scribble on one of them as the people around the table talked amongst themselves. Jinyoung felt comfortable with Mark drawing next to him, a sense of ease that he felt when they were on the bench or in the library.

When the pad was slid closer to him Jinyoung looked down at the drawing attached to the note. He saw an adorable figure of Mark and Jinyoung at a table. A giant bowl of food in front of them, Mark had leaned over to kiss Jinyoung’s cheek and Jinyoung looked flustered.

Raising an eyebrow Jinyoung picked up the drawing to look closer when he felt a set of lips press to his cheek. His face probably matched the drawing identically. Even the people at the table stopped to gasp at the two. Jaebum throwing his hands up at the sight as both Mark and Jinyoung turned bright red. Jinyoung covering his face in his hands as Mark hid his face in Jinyoung’s shoulder.

It was odd. Jinyoung was not a . No stranger to public affection since his ex almost demanded it at times, he wasn’t a prude by any stretch of the word, and yet something as innocent as a cheek kiss had him feel like his skin was on fire in the best possible ways. Under the table Jinyoung reached over to lace his fingers with Mark’s own, looking at him finally to see such shy eyes looking back at him.

“You’re cute.” Jinyoung said and Mark only smiled wider. He made an adorable face up at Jinyoung before turning to Youngjae who tapped at his shoulder.

“So when’s the wedding?” He signed and Mark chucked the wrapper to his chopsticks at him.

Jinyoung didn’t need to know what was said, they had a language of their own.

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Youngjae took Mark back with him since they lived in the same area, which Jinyoung learned was only 20 minutes away from him. Good to know.

Jinyoung drove Jaebum since he only lied 5 minutes away, Yugyeom took Jackson since they lived together as roommates with Bambam. Thankfully Jaebum was drunk enough to want to rush right into his bedroom, letting Jinyoung get home at a decent hour for once. No 4 am friday that would stunt all of his saturday plans. If Mark was coming over on Monday he needed to do some serious deep cleaning of his apartment. He didn’t know when the last time he did that was and the last thing he needed was Mark to think of him as a slob.

He should probably buy candles.

Honestly, Mark probably would never judge him because in Jinyoung’s eyes he was so pure he never did that kind of thing. But Jinyoung was judging himself enough for Mark so it didn’t matter. He got into his apartment and pulled out his post-it notes before he started leaving them around the apartment as little reminders of where he wanted to clean up. Peaking in the fridge he left few scattered about on food items that should be checked to see if they were still good, which they probably were but Jinyoung again, was paranoid.

After mentally exhausting himself Jinyoung slid over to his desk where he went through his routine of unloading his bag. His laptop went on the charger, the notes went in his drawer, any drawings got hung up on the board. He smirked at how they seemed to tell their own silent story, like a comic book created just for him. His phone pulled him from his daze, looking over at it he saw Mark’s name flash up and smiled wide, swiping the screen to pull up the text.

MK: I’m home safe, I hope you get to sleep soon. I’m really excited for monday.

Jinyoung felt all of his worry vanish yet again, because he knew deep down he was just as excited. He just had to stop with the internal panic of not being enough.

JY: I’m happy you made it home, please rest up! Today was really fun, thank you for coming out. Is your bear safe and sound?

Jinyoung managed to get changed into his pajamas before his phone went off again. Looking over at the screen he groaned when he saw there was a picture attached. His finger hovered over the message wondering if he should look now or in the morning.

He caved.

“Jesus .” Jinyoung cursed, gasping at his own reaction before he looked closer to the picture. It had Mark not in his hoodie for once, wearing basketball shorts and a tank top that… could that even be considered a tank top? Half of his chest was exposed. Jinyoung did not see it coming that under all those soft layers and pouty lips Mark had a pretty solid body.

Yet despite the muscles he was curled up in his bed with the teddy bear Jinyoung had won looking so innocent. Jinyoung was confused, enamored, … all at the same time. His fingers moved to zoom in to Mark’s face, groaning at how good he could look doing something so natural.

“Not fair. Nope.” Jinyoung saved the image, then closed it and looked at the text. Mark had sent the rest of their pictures from the carnival, all of which Jinyoung promptly saves to look at in the morning, before he went back to Mark’s text.

MK: We are both very happy! He is fitting in nicely with the two others I have.

JY: I’m happy he has friends, does he have a name yet?

MK: I’m going to call him Giz. He looks like a Giz so it’s only fitting.

JY: Make sure he stays warm tonight, it’s supposed to be very cold. You as well, I think you should put more clothes on. You’re going to get sick with all that skin exposed.

Jinyoung groaned at himself, he really didn’t mean to sound like a parent. But what if Mark had a roommate that saw all of his skin? Maybe Jinyoung wanted to be the only one that saw his skin.

MK: It’s so warm in my room I’ll dye of heat! But Monday I promise I won’t forget my jacket. Crap and I have to bring you back your scarf!

JY: Please keep it, I think it looks better on you than it ever did me. Get some rest, I’ll message you in the morning. Sweet dreams.

MK: You too!

Jinyoung put his phone down and got under the covers, his head had just hit the pillow when he received another text. Groaning at who could want something at this hour he flipped it open without even looking and nearly dropped his phone on his face. It was another picture of Mark curled up under his blankets, messy hair all over the place and he was pouting.

MK: I wish you were here though. Is that cheesey?

Jinyoung groaned, covering his face with his hands before he moved to take his own selfie. Yikes. He took a few more before sending one that didn’t make him look scary.

JY: No. I wish I was too.

Again he dreamed that night, but instead of random sweet dreams they were filled with brown eyes and pink hair among a swirl of flashing lights. He could get used to this dreaming thing.

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For some reason Monday night was making Jinyoung nervous. He had it off so it wasn’t like he was breaking any schedule- but in a way he was. Generally he reserved time in the weekend for social activities, not time when he had homework that needed to get done. His classes ended at 3:00pm which allowed him to get home by 4:06pm. The drive home took a little longer since Jackson needed a ride to the bookshop to bother Jaebum. Once he got home Jinyoung set out to spend the 3 hours he had before Mark was supposed to arrive getting whatever homework he had done.

He got it done in 2.

Which left Jinyoung a solid hour to nervously fill the time waiting for Mark to come over. Sitting on his sofa while his shows played in the background, Jinyoung flipped through social media while ignoring the growing butterflies in his stomach. He had to ignore them, he wasn’t ready for them. Even if they talked about being interested in each other, mentally he wasn’t prepared to be disappointed again.

Honestly Mark probably wouldn’t do that, but he was struggling.

His phone going off saved him from letting his thoughts wander into a darker place. Two text messages came in at the same time. The first was Mark telling Jinyoung he was almost there. Checking the time Jinyoung saw he was running on time, he appreciated that. The second was Jaebum.

JB: Hey! You haven’t shown up yet, that’s odd for a monday.

JY: I told your grandmother I needed this monday off. She didn’t seem to mind it.

JB: Needed it off? Do you have a fancy date with cafe boy?

Jinyoung frowned at the name, because Mark wasn’t just cafe boy. He was Mark, the brilliant, talented boy that Jinyoung loved to spend all of his free time thinking about.

JY: It’s not a date. MARK, is coming over so we can make dinner. Generally I bring us lunch during the week.

He gave himself away, . Groaning as he read his own sent text Jinyoung covered his face with his free hand.

JB: I KNEW IT! The post-it notes gave you away! I knew he was the guy you’ve been talking to I just was waiting for you to come clean. You can keep the money though.

Jinyoung appreciated that last bit, laughing to himself before he heard a gentle knock at the door. Jaebum was going to have to wait for an answer, something more important came up

Heading over Jinyoung looked himself over one final time. He didn’t know why he felt odd in more casual clothes since he wore them at the Carnival but this was a more intimate setting than some clown infested fair. He fixed his t-shirt again making sure it was tucked in before heading down to open the door. Jinyoung smiled brightly when Mark came into view, looking a totally different kind of soft. There was no large pink bulls sweatshirt to hide his lithe body, his hat was gone in place for actually styled hair. His jeans had rips that went illegally high on his slim legs, and the sleeves of his tank top that he was wearing under his red and black flannel seemed to stop mid way down the shirt showing the same amount of skin he saw in the picture a few nights below.

“I’m not late am I? I really hope I’m not.” Mark said, watching a stunned looking Jinyoung.

“No! You’re early actually.” Jinyoung moved out of the way to let Mark in. Cursing mentally for taking so long to open the door. Once Mark had removed his shoes Jinyoung shut the door and fixed the security lock before gesturing for Mark to move more inside. “Please make yourself comfortable.”

Mark set the bag he had brought with him down on a table in the little kitchen area. Jinyoung assumed it was groceries for the night, even if he bought everything he thought they would need he appreciated Mark’s gesture.

Looking around Mark smiled to himself as he allowed his fingers to run over the endless books in Jinyoung’s many bookcases, to turn his attention to the drama playing on the tv. Jinyoung watched nervously as Mark took in every detail of the room, he figured the artist in him would have a keen eye for detail. He was suddenly vindicated in spending so much time cleaning up the place for so many hours over the weekend.

“It’s exactly you.” Mark said, looking to Jinyoung. Jinyoung raised an eyebrow and moved so Mark could better see his lips.

“I hope that’s a good thing?” Jinyoung asked and Mark only smiled brighter, nodding his head. Jinyoung watched as the little crinkle lines around his eyes stretched, how brightly his teeth sparkled, he honestly was a vision.

“It’s organized, meticulous, clean. Everything has sharp lines, simple colors.” Mark reached a hand up and started moving some of the books on his bookcase. Pushing some in further, pulling some out more. None of them on the shelf near by were in any sort of order. Jinyoung watched with wide eyes, itching to fix them all but Mark did have a point. He went a bit overboard with the organization at times.

Taking both of Mark’s hands in an attempt to not send Jinyoung into a panic attack over the state of his apartment, Jinyoung lead Mark deeper into the apartment to show him the rest of it. Ignoring the giggling coming from Mark behind him.

He showed Mark where the restroom was in case he needed to use it, then opened the small door to where his bedroom was and flipped the light on so Mark could look in. Mark seemed to not want to pass up that opportunity at all. He pushed inside quickly and started to look around everywhere. The perfectly made bed that didn’t have so much as a wrinkle in the sheets, no sign of toys or any youthful reminders. Two more bookcases containing rows and rows of more worn out looking books. All bent spines and frilled pages. Mark liked that these weren’t as organized as the ones outside. He looked over to the desk and saw all of his drawings hung up on the board above the computer. Walking closer he smiled brightly at them as he scanned over each one. They told their own story from when they first met until now.

“This one.” Jinyoung said even though Mark wasn’t paying attention, Mark noticed him pointing at it. Looking up to Jinyoung to focus Jinyoung became alarmed at how close they were standing.

“What did you cross out?” He asked, taking a small step back so he couldn’t get distracted by the way Mark’s breath felt against his face. It was sweet, he had been eating some type of fruit. Jinyoung wanted to know exactly what fruit but now was not the time for that.

“Hello! I’m deaf.” Mark let out a laugh, reaching to take Jinyoung’s hands in his own pulling them up to have Jinyoung cover his ears. Jinyoung carefully did as Mark gestured him to do, wanting to take care of him. “I was going to give you this, I’ve given one to someone before because they kept trying to talk to me but you got up before I could… So I just balled it up and I thought I threw it away.” Shrugging Mark let his fingertips play with the soft skin on Jinyoung’s wrists, feeling the warm leather band of his watch.

“I came back to the bench because I was worried you were still in the cold. I… worried my whole class that you and your never having a jacket would get you sick. I wanted to speak up but I didn’t know how.” Sighing Jinyoung slid his hands down to rub at the back of Mark’s neck softly. “I guess I will have to start wearing two jackets so I know you always have one.”

Mark looked up with such wide eyes at Jinyoung, a mixed look on his face before he reached his own hands up to grip gently at the front tugging the material so that Jinyoung would get the hint that he didn't need to be scared to stand closer. That Mark wasn’t fragile, forgetful yes, but not glass.

“Do you know how big your heart is? I have never seen someone with so much natural kindness to them. It’s effortless for you.” Mark said slowly, and now Jinyoung was the one watching his lips as if he were trying to digest every word he was saying.

“I.. I never thought of it as kindness. I always thought of it as being helpful.”

“Helpful is coming over to help me paint my bedroom over the weekend. Kindness is giving your scarf and your lunch to a stranger who never even asked. You have such a beautiful heart to you.” Mark slid his hand up to place it over Jinyoung chest, feeling the rapid beating under the soft cotton fabric. “I wish I could hear it. This. The sound of your heart beating. I bet it’s beautiful.” Mark smiled, looking up to Jinyoung. His eyes crinkling even if there was a unspoken sadness behind those happy lines.

“I assure you it only beats like this around you.” Jinyoung rubbed Mark’s jawline gently before he pulled his hands from the nape of Mark’s neck and moved to take his own hands, not trusting himself if they stayed close together like that in his bedroom. “Come on, I’m sure you’re starving.” With that said Jinyoung lead Mark out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen, he felt an insane heat rising from his neck up to his cheeks as images of what could have happened had they stayed there started to take over. He needed to behave.

They were not at all ready for that.

Opening the door to his refrigerator Jinyoung welcomed the blast of cold air as it hit his skin. His eyes fluttering some before he started to pull out everything he thought they would need to make the four dishes they had talked about making on saturday. Mark worked on unpacking the bag he had brought, Jinyoung looking over as he set his things out on the counter alongside Mark’s own.

“Is that… are we baking something?” Jinyoung spoke to Mark before he raised an eyebrow looking at all the cake like ingredients that Mark seemed to have purchased.

“Of course we are. Did you really think we can do a giant dinner… and not have something for dessert? It’s my favorite meal. Most of the time I just eat dessert.” Mark admitted, blushing slightly as he moved to poke through Jinyoung’s belongings finding everything that he needed.

The state of his kitchen was giving him anxiety, generally Jinyoung never did more than one thing at a time which was probably why he took forever in doing it. Mark however seemed to be content cooking all four dishes and bake a cake at the same time. Jinyoung was more in awe that he was pulling it off and not getting burned.

Jinyoung feared that the cooking was going to be more difficult for them since the focus would require Mark to not watch him. Meaning if he needed something Mark would have to stop and look at him, risk ruining the food for Jinyoung to talk or write a note, and then move on. Although it was challenging at times, they managed to work rather well together to get everything finished with nothing really going wrong. Mark’s cake was in the oven, Jinyoung was pulling the spicy tofu out of the frying pan, Mark was by his side mixing the kimchi fried rice, their other dishes were working away around them. It was like they cooked in this manner every night together with how comfortable and easily Jinyoung was able to understand Mark and vice versa.

With the cake finally out and cooling, the table set for the two of them, and the drinks poured Jinyoung encouraged Mark to sit down across from him and enjoy their meal.

Yes. Jinyoung did buy a candle, and yes, he lit it on the table for a little bit of mood setting. He was trying his hardest.

They ate in silence like usual, Mark finishing all of his food a few minutes after Jinyoung did. He rubbed at his stomach satisfied with the meal before he looked up at Jinyoung with a bright smile. This one holding no sadness, and Jinyoung felt relieved about it. Jinyoung didn’t know why but every time he felt sadness in Mark’s face he wanted to ask why, wanted to know right then and there how to fix it but he assumed some of it were issues he just wasn’t meant to understand. Not yet at least. Mark was an enigma to him as he was to Mark and in time as they opened up to each other the answers he was seeking now he would find.

“Do you want to rest a bit before we start in on the cake?” Jinyoung asked, looking at Mark carefully. Mark nodded his head and got up taking his plate to the sink. Jinyoung was quick to follow him, watching as Mark rolled up his sleeves to start washing the dishes.

“Hey whoa no!” Jinyoung put his hands on Mark’s to stop him from grabbing the sponge.

“You don’t need to do that.” He said straight to Mark who pulled his hands away from Jinyoung’s grasp.

“I wash, you dry. It will help us digest.” Mark insisted, giving Jinyoung a stern look that showed he was serious about Jinyoung listening to him. All Jinyoung could do was throw his hands up in surrender, since he was not one to argue, before he grabbed one of the the dish rags he had hanging on the handle of the oven.

Smiling to himself due to his small victory Mark went about washing each dish carefully, rinsing them off well, then handing them over to Jinyoung for him to dry. Jinyoung liked how again they worked well together. Everything Jinyoung didn’t get to went into the little drainer for him to eventually dry, Mark had no issues with anything he was doing. Half of the reason for the hold up with drying was Jinyoung being enamored by Mark and going slow with what he had in his hand. Once Mark was finished washing he helped Jinyoung dry with the second rag that was hanging off the stove. The two made eyes at each other, almost playing a quiet little game to see who could make the other turn away and blush. So far Mark was losing badly.

But Jinyoung had his weak moments.

Once the last dish was stacked neatly in the cabinet Mark moved over to his cooled cake and used one of the just cleaned knives to cut a small piece for him and Jinyoung to enjoy. Jinyoung thanked Mark when he handed him over his slice, eyeing the fluffy white cake while Mark worked on his own. From the fridge he retrieved the fruit that had been sitting in sugar and spooned a bit on top of each cake. The deep purple syrup absorbing into the slices creating an interesting marble effect.

“Do you eat when you watch tv or just at the table?” Mark teased, and Jinyoung could only smirk as he grabbed Mark’s hand and lead him out of the tiny kitchen and into the living room where his tv was still playing on some random station he had left it at.

They both sat happily, Mark watching the images on the screen as he hummed around his delicious cake, Jinyoung enjoyed the program playing as he ate alongside Mark. It was some music program, a competition he assumed since almost all these types of shows were.

“Do you think in the last 10 years music has gotten better, or worse?” Mark asked curiously, head tilting as he watched the screen trying to envision what it sounded like. Jinyoung reached to his side and grabbed the little pad and pen he had sitting there for general note taking.

“Worse probably. Everything these days seems to be either a mash up of two already existing songs, or the lyrics aren’t really that well thought out. Mostly just a some lyrics with a chorus of the same word over and over again.”

Jinyoung slid the pad over to Mark who took it carefully and read over the words. Making a face he pulled his own pen from his pocket and wrote back before sliding the paper over to Jinyoung.

“That’s sad. When I was younger my mom would always find me jumping on my bed singing to the radio. Said I would be an idol one day.”

Mark laughed at his own words, rolling his eyes playfully at the thought now. Jinyoung pouted, figuring Mark would have made an amazing idol with how beautiful he was inside and out. There was no doubt he would have stolen people's hearts all over the world.

“Is there any chance you can get your hearing fixed?”

“There never used to be, but my doctors said new procedures are being tested on people with similar cases to mine? But nothing like that I could have yet and it’s not even sure it will work. One day maybe. That gives me hope though.”

Jinyoung smiled at that and looked to Mark, nodding his head to hopefully keep his optimism alive about one day being able to hear again.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom.” Mark patted at Jinyoung’s knee before vanishing back towards where the rest of the apartment was.

Jinyoung made himself comfortable watching the television, turning the volume down lower as to not be a troublesome neighbor to the people around. His eyes watched the idols dance around the stage, singing their hearts out on top of their poppy tracks. He watched as the finale came and they announced the winners. He figured that group would win, it wasn’t really fair to anyone else in the contest with how much more powerful the main group was.

Mark eventually came back and Jinyoung looked up with a bright smile, holding his hand out for Mark to help him to his feet. It was late, they both had class the following day, and without even saying anything Mark knew it was close to the time Jinyoung generally did his homework.

“Don’t forget to bring the cake tomorrow!” Mark looked up at Jinyoung once his shoes were back on. Jinyoung nodded his head to show he understood before he unlocked the door for Mark.

“Please let me know as soon as you’re home safe. I will worry until you do.” Jinyoung pouted to make his point clear. Mark let out a laugh and reached up to squish Jinyoung cheeks together so he would stop pouting.

“I promise. No need to worry Jinyoung.” Mark let go and waved, heading down the apartment hallway. Jinyoung watched until Mark was safe in the elevator before he locked the door.

The apartment felt different. Off. This wasn’t the first time he had people over, and there was always that new calm that settled once a guest left but this was different. It felt colder without Mark’s warm smile, the cake sitting on the countertop at one point felt foreign to him but now he felt like it fit. It was something missing. Sighing to himself Jinyoung quickly made his way back towards the television, shutting it off he straightened the table and put their dishes in his small dishwasher.

Heading back into his bedroom Jinyoung noticed the door was now shut, raising an eyebrow Jinyoung walked inside and all he could do was laugh. His desk chair was pulled out, his laptop was open, his books were out of order on the two book cases he had by his bed, which was no unmade. Walking over Jinyoung smoothed out the covers and found an envelope sitting on the bed by his pillow. Raising an eyebrow he picked it up and observed the thickness to it before he read the front.

“When you’re ready, read me.”

Letting out a sigh Jinyoung set it down next to his bed and went to get in his pajamas. He brushed his teeth, combed his hair, removed his contacts, and made his way back to the bedroom where he scooped up the letter and took a seat in his computer chair.

Jinyoung must have flipped the envelope around in his hands several times. Reading the other note on the back over and over again.

“But only if you’re ready. My heart is fragile too.”

Torn between what to do Jinyoung knew that Mark was in no rush for him to read, but what at this point was holding him back? His ex, of course. It was always his ex. That villainous man that took with him the only trust Jinyoung had ever managed to build in his life. Someone who used insults as a form of compliment. It wasn’t all bad. He defended Jinyoung, they had their good days, he was always on time when it mattered the most. Despite the fact that he cheated, somehow Jinyoung felt like he was wrong in their breakup. That if he was better this never would have happened. Jinyoung truly believed that, it was preventing him from even considering love.

Until now.

Sighing Jinyoung carefully opened the envelope with his letter opener and pulled out the note from Mark. Carefully unfolding it he flicked on his desk lamp to spread the papers out on the desk carefully.

Jinyoung.

You know that words aren’t really my strong point. I seem to always draw when I can’t get out what I need to say. I hope that’s something you’re okay with though. I never told you how I lost my hearing. As you know I wasn’t always deaf, I used to be a troublesome kid when I was younger. My mom warned me that one of these days I was going to get myself or someone else into a lot of trouble. I always laughed it off because that was silly right? Youngjae and I have been friends since we were 2. Even though I’m older he always looked out for me like I was a little brother. Most of the time us getting into trouble was my fault but he seemed to always get blamed.

We snuck into this old factory outside of our home town, he didn’t want to go because it was old and scary. That’s exactly why I wanted to go. We were playing around in one of the rooms when we set something off. The sound was so loud… I remember hearing a ringing in my ears for hours and then silence. Youngjae lucked out only one of his ears got damaged in it but I payed the ultimate price for not paying better attention to what I was doing.

I was so mad for so long. I became angry, closed off, I lost the thing that brought me the most happiness. I was never going to get to hear my mom singing when she baked in the kitchen, I was never going to become an idol. I was never going to be able to be a normal kid again. I had to always be careful, I had to pay more attention when people talked because I tried to hide that I was deaf. I still have my dark days but more light in my life now. More reasons to fight and push through. My drawings helped a lot. I turned to those the most after the accident because when I was drawing I was left alone. I could be in my quiet world.

I always just assumed that trying to find someone in a romantic setting was pointless for me. I’m so much work to the other people in my life, who would be able to deal with this for life? Always having to work harder to talk to me, always dealing with how forgetful I can be.

Then you came along. And suddenly… The first day I only sat next to you because I wanted to be alone, and you had this look on your face that could turn a man to stone. I figured you would leave me be, you would just let me draw in quiet but I found that you were interesting to watch. That sounds so creepy, I’m sorry. You.. Up close you’re softer than you look from far away. The intimidation, the scowl. None of it really scared me as much as it did walking up, and for some reason I wanted to get to know more of you.

You kind of let me in, slowly.. The notes helped. You never seemed bothered by them and then things progressed and well. You know our story. You don’t look at me like I’m a burden on you. You don’t talk to me like I’m stupid, you look at me and treat me like we’re the same… Thank you for that. You don’t give yourself enough credit for how truly special you really are. You can take time out of your day to get to know me even though you have so much work to do.

I care about you a lot. I like you, a lot. Not just because you’re the first kind face to give me the time of day, but because you’re the first beautiful face to treat me like I was no different. I would really be stupid to run away from that.

I hope when you’re ready you can let me heal your heart as you’ve helped me be less scared, less forgetful. I don’t care how long it takes, patience is something you’ve bestowed upon me let me do it for you.

I’ll wait however long I need to… just please don’t keep me waiting forever.

Always yours,

Mark.

Jinyoung realized he was chewing at his lip when he finished reading, moving a hand up he pulled his lip from his teeth and set the letter down on the table. Flipping through to the next page, Jinyoung felt a wave of emotions he hadn’t felt in some time. There was a picture of him, it wasn't the cartoon drawings that he was accustom to. It was an actual portrait done by Mark. Scanning over every little detail Jinyoung wondered when Mark even had time during all of his other projects to get something like this done. Flipping the next few pages Jinyoung saw the sketches and workings on how Mark went about creating the finish product and everything felt so raw to him. Eyes scanning the crossed out sections, the little notes scribbled everywhere. This was probably something personal to Mark who had told him that he would never let someone see an in progress work. It was either completed or not. This open window into how Mark worked made Jinyoung's face flush, it was almost like Mark was showing skin that he had never let anyone before him see. Jinyoung had to protect this, had to protect Mark. He needed to do more to make himself worthy of something so beautiful.

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“Alright you can remember this.” Jinyoung groaned wanting to bang his head on the desk, tired eyes looked at the computer screen for what felt like the 5th straight hour.

So he enrolled in a sign language course. He had to at least attempt and on tuesdays after he was done with his laundry, and now on thursday nights he had a lot of free time. Especially that Mark agreed that thursday night he would cook to bring them both lunch on Friday rather than Jinyoung doing it all week. All of that free time not having to cook thursdays, and being off from work let him start taking sign language classes online. He had been doing good for the first several weeks, not telling Mark just yet that he was learning. He wanted to get good enough before trying to hold an actual conversation with him.

His phone seemed to save him. He didn’t even need to question who it was, there was only one person that would dare bother him when he was supposed to be studying.

MK: I miss you. Tomorrow seems really far away. I’m still upset you didn’t bring the cake earlier.

Jinyoung smirked, closing his laptop to move over to the bed. Laying out on his back, Jinyoung put his free hand above his head as he typed back to Mark. Wishing he was there with him, he missed the feeling of his small body curled up by his side.

JY: Don’t make cake so delicious next time and I won’t finish it before the weekend. I swear you’re trying to fatten me up or something. I promise I won’t leave even if I’m thin.

MK: I can’t take that chance, you’re too beautiful for me to risk it. I must keep feeding you all the cake.

JY: What if I just go to the gym more and turn it into muscle?

MK: Then my plan will backfire, and I will just have to lock you in your apartment. Also no gym, you have enough on your plate. Do you even have time to text? Shouldn’t you be studying.

JY: I finished all of my homework while you were eating earlier. I have nothing to do until I get a new assignment Monday.

MK: Well, see if I had that organization I probably wouldn’t be 3 drawings behind.

JY: I see. I should turn my phone off then.

MK: Actually can we facetime? I know it’s easier to text, but I just want to see your face while I work. It might help me.

Thinking about it for a moment, Jinyoung did have some time before he should sleep. He moved to open Mark’s contact area opening the facetime option. He pressed call and let it ring for a bit, Mark took a while to answer.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking at my phone. I’m just going to put it down while I work. Do whatever you were doing.” Mark said and Jinyoung nodded, holding up the okay sign to let Mark know he understood him. Jinyoung moved to put his phone on the nightstand so that Mark could easily see him. He grabbed the book he was currently reading and moved onto his side so that he could read while Mark worked on his projects.

Hearing his text tone Jinyoung looked up to see what it was, Mark had sent him a message to get his attention.

“You can talk.” Jinyoung made a talking motion with his hands and Mark raised an eyebrow.

“I swear you just need to learn sign language.”

Jinyoung just smirked and winked at the camera, watching as Mark’s jaw dropped.

“You little . You’re totally up to something!” Mark put his paint brush down and leaned in closer to his phone to better see Jinyoung’s face.

“Oh! The language. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Jinyoung spoke to the camera before putting his hand over his heart pretending to be shocked. Mark’s laugh rang through the phone and Jinyoung couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Over the weeks he came to realize that Mark’s laugh was his favorite sound.

Scribbling down a note that said ‘get back to work’ and holding it up for Mark to see before Jinyoung turned back to his book. It was one of his favorites, something he had read time and time again and never got tired of. Given that he knew the book inside and out he didn’t mind looking up every so often to watch Mark at work, always catching himself smiling when he did so. He got caught once or twice, the two just laughing but Mark managed to get the rest of his work done. By the time he finished up his last painting Jinyoung was asleep on the bed. His book laid carefully on his chest, his eyes shut gently in a rather peaceful way.

Mark hoped that he was warm, comfortable. He wished he was there to tuck Jinyoung in.

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Thursdays were Mark’s least favorite day of the week. It was the one day he had the heaviest amount of courses in one day which meant his interactions with Jinyoung were limited to the one hour during their breaks. Typically if they could both spare the time Mark would either visit Jinyoung while he worked, or go over his house after therapy to cook dinner with him. Thursdays were always the hardest to make that happen because of how late at night he got out of class.

Maybe it was for the better? It was the one day he could think about everything going on, get lost in his own little world again. Not that being around Jinyoung prevented him from getting anything done, in reality he got more work done around Jinyoung. But Mark wasn’t ready for Jinyoung to see his down days yet. Things between them were progressing, he didn’t want to lose that.

Despite being in a drawing class where he was supposed to be paying attention to the model, Mark’s mind was running wild. There were probably well over a billion things on his mind at all times, except none of them seemed to be important enough for him to remember shortly after the thought came to him. It wasn’t that he was clumsy or insensitive; but he couldn’t help worrying over thoughts like why does the moon never crash into the earth? Why did he love cats so much even though it seemed all they wanted to do was claw at him? Why did he never learn that drinking orange juice after he brushed his teeth was the worst idea ever? And what did he do to get someone in his life that was so unbelievably nice he couldn’t process what he did to deserve it?

He had to focus. He was in class.

Being an art major made it sound like he was some typical hipster. When people found out what his major was they either asked him if he had ever drawn a women, been forced to draw a , and if so did he get flustered. After a while it became pressuring to talk about what his major was. In part because of the endless comments about his work, but also because a part of him felt like his work wasn’t where he wanted it to be. Sure the little doodles he gave to Jinyoung were not finished works, the covers of every notebook and pad he owned were decorated in their entirety.

There was still never perfection. Not the way Jinyoung perfected his craft. The ability to complete his work days if not weeks in advance and get outstanding grades without even breaking a sweat. Mark would generally fill an entire waste bin with crumpled up papers in the first hour of trying to complete a project. Then again he never worked well when he had a deadline. All of his best work, all of the things that he would actually feel proud of sat in a series of books for nobody to see. Those were things that he spent either the most time, or the least time working on. The only time things inside those books were seen were the few pages he ripped out and gave to Jinyoung with his letter.

Again he was thinking about Jinyoung.

This seemed to happen more often than not. How was it that he could always forget to eat, almost never remember to grab his jacket when he left the house, but he remembered that Jinyoung’s work schedule was the same every week. He worked alternating mondays and tuesdays. He worked every wednesday, and thursday, and every other friday. Mark remembered that Jinyoung was left handed but seemed to be one of the only people that didn’t have any ink smudges on the side of his hand from writing.

As winter starts to hit its center, the only reminder for Mark that winter even exists was Jinyoung’s constant fussing over if he was warm or not. Mark’s mind was filled day to day thinking about gesture and intention. If the light logic in his art will ever make as much sense as he would like it to.

Would he ever be able to get it together?

That’s why when he met Jinyoung, he felt out of place. There was such an air about Jinyoung that suggested he seemed to have his together. Mark was always amazed by the focused look on his face when he read, how he managed to have a lunch everyday, how even though he always had his phone which seemed to have alarms set for just the right times he still always wore a watch that matched his outfits perfectly. Perhaps he should get a watch.

There was a new drive that Mark didn’t seem to have before, a desire to have more control over his mind. His mindless scribbles seemed to take a different shape now. Pointless lines became the hairpin curve of Jinyoung’s lips, the sharp line of his eyes, and the delicate shape of his nose. The way Jinyoung had such masculine features such as strong arms, large hands, and a firm chest, yet a boyish face that kept those treasures as well hidden as his layers of clothes.

Out of all his hidden notebooks, the ones that only he was allowed to see, his newest one was the most personal. It’s where he sketched Jinyoung.

Figure drawing class was always his easiest. It was quiet, safe, respectful because of their models. The professor always emphasizes that they should be drawing with intention, they need to capture the essence of the pose pushing it to convey whatever story they were trying to tell. Dishing out the rest of the instructions quickly so everyone could pay attention to the model rather than his hands.

Mark took a few moments to glance at his giant board, adjusting the way he was sitting on a seat created to prevent fatigue during a 3 hour drawing class Mark watched as the model moved to the center of the room and allowed his robe to fall to his feet. He took up his first pose and the teacher moved out of the way to allow his students the freedom to do as they pleased. Today the lesson was blind contouring, something Mark felt confident in, even if they were on the more boring side, he knew that for observing learning they were important. It was the basics which everyone figured they knew at this point, but on days like today when Mark wasn’t sure of anything he was happy they were given a chance to stick to the basics.

Connecting his pen to the pad Mark started with the models eyes. Following the figure, trying to get the right feel before his mind started to wander. Yet again.

What was Jinyoung doing? He would be getting out of class soon for sure, and then going to work. Maybe Mark could visit him at work after therapy if he got out in time. Maybe he should slip therapy to keep him company at the store. He did start loving it there.

Before he knew it the models pose changed and he found himself quickly flipping his paper to hide whatever mess he made. Embarrassed he ducked his head behind his drawing board and tried to clear his mind again. Taking a few deep breaths Mark put his pen back to the pad. He could do this.

Again another 10 minutes fly by and his blind contour has no authentic observation, it has almost nothing but a beginning. Again the page gets flipped and Mark decides to adjust his position again hoping it will clear his mind. That he can approach this position with a new found vigor. He decided to forget the eyes and instead moves to his lips. His mind doing well for a while before the blank darkness of his mind started to trace back to the way Jinyoung smiled and the crinkles of his eyes when he laughed, how recently he was using less and less of his hand to cover his mouth when he smiled which made the dimple on the right side of his face come to light more. Mark visioned the way Jinyoung’s rounded ears peaked out of his raven hair so perfectly, the way his eyebrows seemed to always be well kept, and how smooth his skin always seemed to be.

Ten minutes in and his portrait looked more like the start of a familiar asian boy rather than the very caucasian model currently changing his position. Again he crosses out what he was working on and starts fresh with a blank page. Jinyoung needed to stay off his mind.

Blind contours were the best time to clear your mind, the emptier it was the easier it became to just draw what you saw in front of you rather than trying to go off something from memory. He made a promise to himself that he would keep his mind off Jinyoung- he had to get actual work done. Jinyoung would be upset with him if he started to slack.

Eyes scanning down the figure of the model Jinyoung noticed that his private parts were more, engorged than they had been towards the start of the class. This was not something Mark had never seen before. He was a male, he had a that would become hard. He generally didn’t care about situations like this but today he found himself flustered at the sight. What was happening to him, he was always so good at differentiating capturing the pose and being around an for the sake of getting off.

Okay so he wasn’t familiar with that, at least not one that wasn’t his own but he never had an issue with blushing around an erect model. When did the form become so different for him.
Trying to search for answers he of course landed back on the thing he knew he wanted the most, Jinyoung.

Perhaps his new found fluster came from the way he found a new appreciation in skin when it came to Jinyoung. He was so adjusted to people removing their shirts for the sake of being y but with Jinyoung he looked good in literally everything he wore, most of which was modest to nearly a fault. Blind contours were supposed to help clear your mind, allow you to focus on the task at hand but for him he was thinking about literally everything but.

He couldn’t stop picturing Jinyoung. The way something as simple as his exposed collarbones in a slightly scoop neck shirt could send chills down Mark’s spine. He found himself looking at the model and thinking about what Jinyoung looked like out of those perfectly pressed pants. Surely that much exposed skin would send him to places he would never recover from.

Growling to himself Mark quickly drew a crude figure of the man in hopes it would pass for the day’s class before he started packing up his things. With the class he just had he knew physical therapy would be pointless. He needed to go see Jinyoung. Even if most of the thoughts were about him, he knew that once he was around him his would would fall silent again.

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Yawning as he shut his laptop, Jinyoung felt happy that the last of his big assignments that were due before his midterms was done. He officially had nothing but his exams to worry about for the next two weeks but studying. Not that Jinyoung had much to worry about, as far as grades were concerned he was all set to graduate summa laude if he kept at the pace he was going.

Jaebum and Jackson were busy messing around behind the counter, fighting over the results of a UFC fight they had watched the night before. Jinyoung didn’t care about stuff like that so he decided to spend his last hour at work putting away the books that had been left behind the counter. When the door opened he turned to see who walked in, smiled brightly at the sight of Mark.

“Lover boy is here.” Jackson called when he looked up, Jinyoung didn’t respond so Mark didn’t know he said anything. Setting the stack of books back down on the cart Jinyoung walked over to Mark quickly.

“Don’t you have therapy?” Jinyoung asked carefully and Mark shook his head no.

“I skipped. Can you leave early? I thought it would be nice if we got dessert before we called it a night.” Mark asked in a shy manner. Jinyoung looked to his watch to see what time it was before turning to Jaebum who was already bringing him his jacket.

“Go. Yes please go and have fun.” Jaebum was nearly shoving Jinyoung out of the door. Jinyoung wasn’t about to argue it. He just took Mark’s hand in his own and made his way down the few steps to the street, sliding his jacket on in the process.

Tonight was probably the coldest it had been in a while, his breath could be seen as he exhaled. Rubbing his hands together he noticed that Mark again didn’t have a jacket on and sighed to himself. Shrugging off his jacket he put his own around Mark’s shoulders and helped him get zipped up in it. He would be cold but he was okay with that, he was allowed to be the cold one for a change. The cafe wasn’t that far and he was sure that Mark remembered to.

“How was class?” Jinyoung asked, pushing his hands into his pockets as he looked to Mark. Mark watched him and shrugged. He wasn’t ready to blurt out how he had a hard time paying attention because Jinyoung was so handsome it’s all he could think about.

“It was very hard to pay attention. I was just tired through the whole thing so I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I think a few kids fell asleep.”

Nodding Jinyoung understood the struggle. Not that he was up late often, but he had heard Mark going on about the lack of sleep in the art department. He often worried that Mark’s late nights mixed with his poor nutrition and lack of jacket would lead to him getting very sick.

“Actually, I still have the cake at my place and it’s not very far away would you like to go there and I can drive you home after?” Jinyoung used text for that one, hitting send he motioned for Mark to look at his phone.

Pulling it out of his pocket Mark read over the text and smiled wide, nodding his head several times he moved to carefully lace his fingers together with Jinyoung own allowing him to lead the way. Silently celebrating that he got extra time with Jinyoung on a thursday.

It was only 15 minutes to Jinyoung's apartment from the cafe, Mark was thankful for that since he wasn’t dressed correctly yet again. He did have a jacket earlier, but it seemed that it wasn’t important to be remembered when he left his apartment after changing.

Mark made a beeline for the kitchen when he got inside. Jinyoung laughed at his excitement quickly following him once he latched the lock on the door. Mark had been over so many times by this point he seemed to know where everything was, cutting into the cake he made with ease Mark held up a tiny bit for Jinyoung to eat.

“For me?” Jinyoung smirked, bending forward to eat the piece provided before making an adorable face, loving the way Mark blushed and giggled at his silly gesture.

“This is almost gone!” Mark mentioned, looking at the size of the cake compared to the last time he was over. Jinyoung looked away innocently, trying not to get caught even if they both knew who was eating it since Jinyoung was the only one there.

Putting both slices on two small plates Mark handed Jinyoung's his before making for the sofa. Watching with an amused smile Jinyoung followed behind and took the seat next to him, sitting upright to start eating his cake peacefully. Mark got situated by his side and it half felt like they were on their bench again. The world around them quiet, empty, just the two of them enjoying being by the others side in silence as they did their own thing. Jinyoung found such peace in these moments, melding into the comfort surrounding him because of Mark. Because of how easy things were with him.

Mark finished his dessert first, getting up to clear his plate and wash it off. Jinyoung gave up trying to get him to just relax when he was over. He knew that Mark would pout and he would cave because that was always how it happened. Jinyoung powerless to Mark’s charms. Mark probably enjoyed that though, he didn’t pout very often which gave Jinyoung the impression that Mark knew how to use his powers against him. He wouldn’t risk being weak tonight.

Watching as Mark vanished off into the back he assumed he was going to the bathroom, finishing the last of his cake Jinyoung did as Mark had and washed his plate before putting the last small bit away in the fridge to keep it fresh. Wondering what happened since Mark hadn’t yet returned Jinyoung moved towards the back to see the bathroom door open. Walking further back he saw Mark in his room sitting on the bed, Jinyoung carefully pushed his door the rest of the way open to see what Mark was doing. In his hand was the opened envelope Jinyoung had left on the desk, tacked to his board was Mark's letter, his drawings, and the rest of his little are notes. Chewing his lips nervously Jinyoung took a few steps in and watched as Mark looked up to see him.

“When did you open it…”

“The night you left it.”

“That was weeks ago.”

“I know.”

“So… is this a rejection?”

Confused Jinyoung tried to move closer to Mark but he only got up as if he were going to leave, heading straight for the open bedroom door. Jinyoung panicked and quickly shut the door blocking it with his body so Mark couldn’t walk out.

“I told you to open it when you were ready to let me into your heart.” Mark wrapped his arms around his body, pouting gently. Jinyoung groaned, knees trembling slightly at the sight. Why did he have to pout now?

“I was ready then, the day I opened it. I have been! I didn’t know you wanted to know I read it… I, I’m sorry.” Jinyoung could see Mark getting frustrated, his expression changing in ways Jinyoung had never seen before.

“Jinyoung how could I know? I can only read lips not minds. I know we have been spending more time together but I.. you are so quiet and so calculative. I’ve been so nervous this whole time waiting for you to be ready.”

“I am ready! I did open up more. . I feared I wouldn’t be able to show it properly. That I would always fail.”

“Fail what? Show what?”

Jinyoung groaned, covering his face with his hands. He felt anxiety sink into his bones as his mind started to race. Mark moved closer to pull Jinyoung’s hands from his face.

“Fail what!” He asked again, looking right at Jinyoung who could only whimper.

“How to show you that all of this time together is my way of opening up, because I’m a mess and don’t know how to break from a schedule but I’m trying so hard because the real me is ty and boring. That I’m neurotic and calculated because my parents made me this way, if I’m not like this then I won’t ever amount to anything. That you were the first time in my life I ever felt a calm in the quiet, I ever felt peace settle in my bones. I don’t know how to show you that I’ve fallen in love with you…. And saying it scares me to death because I won’t survive having my heart broken again.” Jinyoung admitted, not only to Mark for the first time but himself as well. Nervously he backed up against the door, eyes never leaving Marks own.

“You…” Mark watched Jinyoung carefully trying so hard to capture every word he was trying to say, studying every detail of his face before he felt his body surging forward. Jinyoung whimpered when Mark’s body pressed against his own, taking in the overwhelming scent of Mark’s cologne and how his arms wrapped around his neck felt like home to him. His head became dizzy since they generally were never this close together, because Jinyoung knew what he would do if they were.

“I’ve been so scared. I wanted to tell you so bad but I didn’t.. think I could ever be good enough for someone as wonderful as you. I feared you would grow tired of me, of my ways, and it always kept me from opening my mouth.” Jinyoung spoke softly, reaching up to pull Mark close by his hips, needing to feel him pressed tighter against him, needing to know he wasn’t leaving. “How can I make it up to you.” Jinyoung frowned, pushing his head against Mark’s for a moment before pulling back to look at him carefully.

“Text me every morning that you love me. Never miss a day.” Mark said with a smile and Jinyoung nodded his head in agreement, that seemed like easy enough terms and conditions.

“Because then I won't feel so scared to tell you that I love you back. That I love every detail about you, about the way you scrunch up your nose when you’re studying, or the way you always wipe your hands after touching a door. That I love to watch you put books away at your job because you take such care of them I almost get jealous that it’s not me you’re touching so gently. ” He confessed.

Jinyoung could only whimper, surging from the door he didn’t care about being proper anymore. He didn’t care about his schedule or the fact that it was close to the time he should be going to bed. He didn’t care about the dish in the sink, or the fact that he was still dressed from work. All he cared about was the boy in his arms with the beautiful brown eyes that just told him how much he loved him. That despite the giant mess he was, it didn’t matter.

Only he mattered.

Mark seemed ready for Jinyoung’s rush forward, carefully moving his feet so neither of them tripped as they moved backwards in the room. Jinyoung leaned forward quickly to seal the gap between their lips in a kiss that had both of their bodies feeling pulses of electricity running all the way through them. Mark let out a series of whimpers as his body hit the back wall close by Jinyoung’s bed. He used the leverage to keep his body close to Jinyoung’s own as their lips slotted together perfectly. His fingers curling in the hair at the nape of Jinyoung’s neck causing Jinyoung to moan out as the chills from Mark’s long fingers against his scalp went through his entire body.

Jinyoung’s arms wrapped around Mark’s slim hips, his lips parting gently craving to know the taste beyond Mark’s vanilla mint chapstick. Running his tongue along Mark’s sweet lips begging for entrance. The second he was granted it Jinyoung couldn’t stop his hips from rolling forward as the taste of the sweet cake they ate and something so significantly Mark that Jinyoung found his new addiction in seconds.

The feel of Mark’s tongue against his was a sensation Jinyoung would never be able to describe, it seemed like with everything else Mark seemed to know what Jinyoung wanted and needed before even he did. It wasn’t until Jinyoung felt the lack of air to his lungs start to affect his head did he pull away from the kiss. Whimpering at the loss of Mark’s full lips pressed against his own, his glasses fogged up from the action below. Jinyoung pushed them up into his hair so he could better see Mark who was smiling wide at him, chewing on his lips that were already the most delicious pink color.

“Be mine. Officially.” Jinyoung said softly, making sure that Mark was watching him.

“I’ve always been yours.” Mark smiled brighter, that beautiful smile that reached up to his eyes making them shine. Jinyoung wished he could paint because he would spend hours on trying to capture the way the universe seemed to revolve in Mark’s chocolate brown eyes.

“Good. It’s late, I don’t want you to be tired tomorrow. I should probably drive you home.” Jinyoung slid a hand up to rub Mark’s cheek gently.

“Do you really want me to go home?”

“No.”

Notes:

i'm currently accepting prompts on twitter! or on tumblr. the main place to reach me would always be twitter but feel free to leave them here in the comments below as well! thank you for reading if you liked it let me know. i know i have others to work on but this will probably be my main story for the time being.

All of the adorable art you see in this story was made by the amazing avery!please go love and support her. If you use any of these images make sure you credit her!