It probably wasn’t a good thing to be so cynical about love at such an early age but honestly could you blame Jinyoung? To be fair he was a typical university student with no real background when it came to matters of the heart, but in his eyes he had enough bitter rejection and sleepless nights to consider himself done with trying.

Love only made things complicated right? Love wasn’t… something people so young needed to be worried about. He had plenty of time to fall in love with someone, start a family, and get into a world he would never be truly happy living.

Maybe he was too cynical for his own good.

Today was a typical day, he woke at 8:00am to the sound of an alarm that was supposed to promote relaxation and instead instigated aggression. He was showered and dressed by 8:45am, ate his breakfast by 9:00am, and left for class by 9:15am. His first class was at 11:00am which gave him an hour to get to school, and 45 minutes to catch up on his studying before classes started all of which ended at around 3:00pm. Every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday he held this schedule. Wednesday and Friday were the same in the mornings only he got out at 1 rather than 3. He considered himself lucky in his school schedule given that he got out relatively early most days compared to others who slacked when it came time to sign up and got stuck with afternoon/evening courses.

Between his second and third class of the day Jinyoung had an hour break that allowed him time to eat his lunch. Taking the bento box he had made for himself the night prior Jinyoung found a quiet section of campus and sat down on a bench starting to eat while he got a head start on his homework for the evening. Leaving things for the last minute was not his style.

The day was nice enough that with his light jacket and scarf Jinyoung wasn’t bothered by the gentle breeze, happy that the snow had all melted and the bright colors of spring were starting to make themselves known. Gently he smiled at the empty patch of grass before him before his attention turned back to his lunch.

When someone walked over Jinyoung did his best to keep to his studies, trying to hide the annoyance that out of all the benches in the school this person had to come and sit on his. He could see through his glasses 5 completely empty benches that would have sufficed but no, this person choose to sit right next to him.

Eventually curiosity got the better of him, expecting to see some zoned out student wasting time but when he looked up he saw a simple looking boy, with beautiful eyes drawing in a little sketch book. He had his headphones in which signaled that he didn’t want to be bothered as well, focused on what he was doing. The slight smudge of lead on his fingers let Jinyoung know he had probably just came from sketching somewhere else. A change of scenery perhaps?

All of a sudden his intrusion was no longer an annoyance. Jinyoung managed to get back to his studies peacefully. His wrist watch went off signaling he had 10 minutes to get to his next class, shutting down his laptop Jinyoung slid the computer, his lunch box, and chopsticks back into his little side bag before standing up to take off for class. He didn’t know what prompted him to stop after a few steps and look back at the boy sketching but when he did he noticed the boy look up. Slowly the stranger from the bench smiled at him, the curves of his lips imprinting in Jinyoung brain forcing him to look away. The boy took 2 minutes of his time, and now he was running late.

He wasn’t late by the teachers standards but he was late by his own. Typically he arrived to class with a few minutes to spare but today he got there with no time to lose. He didn’t get the seat he enjoyed so much which put him in a bit of a sour mood, but overall he made it through the class.

His day was finally over at 3:00pm which meant he would be home by 4:00pm which would leave him 45 minutes to get ready and leave for his 5:00pm shift at the local bookstore. Pouring himself into the pages tucked in the shop provided a delicate peace for Jinyoung. It was a job sure, but he never considered it that. It was always a bit of a haven for him where he could get his homework done, find new books to keep him entertained, and since the nights were always dead he could be left alone.

This night was like all the others, he settled down into the worn tattered desk chair, set his laptop out, and started writing his paper on Religious theory. Most of it was completed during lunch, and all of it was finished by the time he had to lock up for the night. A success given that they had 7 customers which was 3 more than normal for a monday evening. The cafe next door must have been hosting a live music night, that’s generally when they got busy.

As the doors were locked and the sign was flipped to signal they would be back at 11:00am. As he started walking Jinyoung could still smell the faint aroma of leather bound books and coffee lingering on his sweatshirt, he didn’t mind though. They were two of his favorite things.

Getting back to his apartment which was only a 15 minute walk away, Jinyoung ate his dinner, packed his lunch for the next day, finished his homework, and then enjoyed a bit of television as he let the stress of the day sink into the sofa where he left it behind for the comfort of his blankets. It was weird, at least for him. How the last thing he thought of when he shut his eyes was the curve of the strange boys lip, and the way his hair blew in the gentle breeze. Strange as it may seem it helped him get to sleep easier.

He didn’t dream that night, but he hardly ever did.

The following morning went as planned. Tuesday was another of his longer days which he didn’t mind considering he had 3 classes over 4 hours with an hour break before his last class. He arrived on time for the first two before heading with his lunch to the same bench he had sat at the day before. It was colder today, he felt it in his fingertips as he opened his laptop and worked on his English Language essay while eating his tuna onigiri.

A few minutes into him working he noticed a body walking over to sit next to him, looking over at the same boy from the day before he offered a smile and got back to work. The other didn’t seemed interested in conversation, again he had his headphones in as he sketched in his little book. Jinyoung found a peace among the wind as they sat silently and did their work together.

Once finished with his food he moved to put his lunch container away in his side bag, looking over he noticed the slight shiver to the boy who clearly wasn’t wearing a warm enough jacket. Jinyoung fussed mentally over saying something but instead he sat back and continued his work. His own fingers cold against his bluetooth keyboard, he couldn’t imagine how the other was gripping a pencil and not shaking all over the place.

Still he wanted to say something, caution to dress warmer since tomorrow was to be just as chilly but he remained quiet. When his alarm went off he packed up his bag and slung the strap over his shoulder. This time he didn’t wait to move before he looked down to the boy drawing, maybe he could tell Jinyoung was waiting because he looked up and smiled. Jinyoung smiled back before heading to class, this time being early how he liked it.

During class he worried though, found it difficult to focus on his lecture. Was the boy still sitting there in the cold? Did someone else come and talk to him before he did advising him to take better care. Why did he never eat was he hungry? Jinyoung sighed, doing his best to push such plaguing thoughts from his mind before focusing on the lecture the best he could.

Class got out on time and Jinyoung took a detour to his car to see if the boy was still on the bench. Walking with his hands in his pocket Jinyoung cursed at the wind as it roared around him, his fringe falling into his face making it difficult to see at times. He was never a fan of wind, not harsh winds like this. Gentle winds that cooled one down on heated days were always welcome. This was not that.

Getting closer to the bench Jinyoung saw that it was empty, the boy from earlier must have left during his class which put his mind at ease. Had he still been out here Jinyoung would have felt guilty for not saying anything to him. Walking closer to the bench he noticed a little slip of paper stuck between the wooden planks. Bending down carefully he slid it from where it was stuck and unfolded the small page.

On it he saw an adorable cartoon of him sitting on the bench, his lunch box next to him, his laptop on his lap. It had a little word bubble that said “Hello!” to the side where the boy normally sat.

Jinyoung chewed at his lip and slid the paper carefully into his side bag before heading to his car.

He arrived home too late to get a snack on his way into work. That was fine. The cafe next door had plenty of delicious options he could pick from should he get hungry to tide him over before he got home. Once he walked in the friendly older woman who owned the shop happily patted him on the back before she took her leave home. Jinyoung set himself up in his usual place, not 2 minutes into his paper the door opened and the wind from outside ruffled some of the nearby books. Peaking over the computer Jinyoung saw his friend Jaebum walk in, undoing his jacket before he walked around the counter to sit next to Jinyoung.

“Where did my grandmother go?”

“Home to rest. Weren’t you supposed to work for her this morning?” Jinyoung didn’t look up from his work, ignoring the way Jaebum made himself at home.

“I slept in, Jackson and I went to this club downtown. You should have came with us we texted you like 7 times.” Jaebum grabbed one of the random magazines next to Jinyoung and started flipping through it.

“I told you I had homework to do.” Jinyoung said, able to see Jaebum mocking him out of the corner of his eye. He swatted his hand quickly knocking the wind out of Jaebums lungs before he went back to typing.

“Half these assignments are not even due for a week or so, yet you do them the day you get them.” Jaebum coughed, rubbing at his chest where he still felt the sting of Jinyoung’s smack.

“So I don’t have anything to do come friday and can enjoy my weekend. Unlike some people who go out Monday - Friday then have to spend all weekend crying in his apartment.” Jinyoung smirked at that, feeling his own smugness come in. Jaebum just rolled his eyes and grumbled as he picked back up the magazine Jinyoung had made him drop.

“So this means on Friday you will come out with Jackson and I? Maybe finally someone that will pull the stick out of your-” The front bell signaled Jaebum to hush up. Not bothering to sit upright as someone entered the store. Jinyoung looked up from the computer to see a young girl, high school age, holding a list of books most likely for her courses that she needed to get. Jinyoung rose from his spot and navigated the maze like library to get to her.

“What can we help you with?” Jinyoung asked, giving her his brightest smile. The girl looked shocked by him, her eyes going wide as she nervously held out the paper with the titles to a few books scribbled on it.

Jinyoung scanned the paper memorizing the 5 books she was looking for before he set out to grab 4 of them for her, the 5th book they didn’t have. He walked her through each one, and then ordered the 5th for her on the computer. She left seemingly happy, a lot less nervous that was for sure. Jinyoung enjoyed being able to get everything done quickly.

JB was in the same spot Jinyoung left him in when he sat back down, the only thing that changed was the magazine he was reading. Jinyoung glanced over at it before promptly stating that he was going to go next door to get something to snack on. JB mumbled a half assed okay before Jinyoung left to walk next door.

With it being dark out now it was far colder than it had been earlier, but no less windy. That seemed to have kept up as it had been all morning. Jinyoung slid his hands down into his pockets cursing at himself for not grabbing his coat as he jogged the few feet to the entrance to the cafe. It was quiet inside, nobody in line and only a handful of people sitting down.

Jinyoung liked this cafe, it was quiet. Whenever he went inside it never felt like he was being rushed into ordering something he didn’t want, or that he’d be pressured into over complicated drinks that were 70% sugar syrup, 20% coffee, 10% milk. Looking up at the vast menu Jinyoung took his time deciding before he walked up to the counter to order. He paid with his card and signed on the dotted line before moving to the pick up area to wait for his order. He put his card back into his wallet before he looked around the room, noticing a few students having a quiet study session, an older couple playing chess, and the boy from the bench sketching in the corner- his headphones still in. Chewing at his lower lip Jinyoung noticed that he still didn’t have a proper jacket, and now that it had gotten colder out it was even more risky to be walking around in just a hoodie.

He wanted to go say something, tried really hard to go say something but his feet seemed to be rooted into the floor below the pick up sign. He looked at the counter with contempt as his drink was set before him, a medium sized iced Americano very little almond milk. He gave the cup a swirl before taking a sip, loving the bitter coffee flavor as it filled his mouth. His bento box came after, a few random pieces of pork tempura and a radish salad. Jinyoung bowed his head in thanks as it was handed over before taking a final look at the boy sitting. He didn’t look up, he probably didn’t know Jinyoung was there. Since his feet betrayed him he felt it was best he went back to the bookstore instead.

“Didn’t pack a snack?” Jaebum teased, looking up when Jinyoung set out a place to eat.

“I didn’t have time.” Jinyoung sighed, opening the top of his bento box offering Jaebum one of the pieces of fried pork. Jaebum leaned in happily to take it, humming in appreciation before he went back to his Magazine.

“Since you’re here I’m going to leave early. I need to do laundry anyway.” Jinyoung checked the time.

“Is it Tuesday?” Jaebum looked at his phone to check before laughing at Jinyoung's predictability.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and finished half of his bento box, sliding the rest of it to JB who thanked him before scarfing the rest of it down in the blink of an eye while Jinyoung finished and submitted his final paper of the day. He felt happy that he managed to get everything finished before getting home, not that he had a large caseload to start with.

When he left he stopped at the market to get groceries before heading home. He felt excited about what he had bought, knowing that he would be able to make it the rest of the week without having to go grocery shopping. His mother would worry less that he wasn’t able to take care of himself, she often fussed that he wasn’t eating enough or that he wasn’t having enough fun. Two things he tried to assure her he was in fact doing, even if the latter wasn’t exactly true most nights. He just didn’t care to get out there and be frivolous, that lead to complications that he didn’t have time for. Not anymore.

Yes. there were reasons for Jinyoung’s bitter attitude towards dating, towards love, towards the whole process of falling for someone. He had the same memory box shoved deep into the back of his closet as most broken hearted young adults did, holding memories of what he thought would last forever, but only lasted until a more handsome face came along. Something he kept as a reminder why it was better to not even bother anymore.

He made his meals for the rest of the week, caught up on a few shows, and was in bed at his usual hour. Flipping through his phone to see any messages he might have missed from when he was cooking, he couldn’t help but think about the boy from the bench who he found in the cafe. Sure, they weren’t that far from school but what were the odds that he happened to be at that cafe at the same time Jinyoung walked in. It was the universe’s way of telling him he should have opened his mouth and said something when he had the chance the first time, and passing it up a second time well he was the idiot. What if the boy got sick? It would surely be his fault. Why was he so worried about this boy’s health anyway.

Trying again to push the nagging thoughts away Jinyoung shut his phone off and let his mind take him to sleep.

Again he didn’t dream, probably for the best.

Today he got out of class at 1, one of the few days he got out earlier than usual. Starting for the parking lot he dug around his bag for his car keys, stopping when he felt the small sheet of paper he had picked up the day before. Pulling it out he took another look at the detailed illustration and chewed at his lower lip. Generally he would just go home and use this day to catch up on reading, finishing his laundry, maybe find a friend and go to the movies if he finished all his school work. Which he already did.

Maybe he could make a stop at the bench? See if the boy was there again. Advise him to wear warmer clothes since it was again chilly out. His feet seemed to make up his mind for him as they veered away from the student parking lot and towards the east end of campus where he normally sat for his lunch. As he got closer he noticed the boy was already sitting, headphones in, sketching away. He had on a similar sweatshirt to the one he wore the day before only this one was a baby pink instead of black. It made him look so soft and fragile, things Jinyoung had never thought could describe another.

Taking a seat on the bench Jinyoung dug a book out of his bag, since he had no school work to do he could spend a hour reading and nothing in his day would be interrupted. Opening to where his metal bookmarker was Jinyoung allowed himself to get lost in the pages until he saw a bright pink post-it note being placed next to him.

“You’re late.” It read with a little drawing of Mark pouting in the corner, he carefully picked it up and chewed at his lower lip. A soft smile came to his face as he pulled his pen from his bag and scribbled back on the paper before setting it down between them.

“I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t wait long.”

The boy picked it up and read it carefully before smiling to himself, he took a fresh post-it note and scribbled something new on it before setting it down between them. Jinyoung was quick to pick it up and hold it by his book to protect it from blowing away in the wind.

“I’m not sure how long, I was worried. You’ve never been late before.”

“My day is normally done now, I was going to go home. I decided to stay a while and read.”

Jinyoung set the note down between them and turned his attention back to the book. The boy picked up the note and read it over before nodding his head. His note back took a bit longer than the first two did, it almost blew away in the wind but Jinyoung was quick to reach over and stop it. His fingers brushing against Mark’s for a moment, shocked at how icy cold they felt. He must have been waiting out there for ages with how cold he felt. Jinyoung took the note carefully to see a picture Mark had drawn of himself, a little word bubble above his head.

“I’m Mark by the way! I’ll let you read now.”

Jinyoung smiled at that and moved to put the post-it note on the first page of the book so he would never lose it before he reached over to take a fresh note from the pad sitting next to Mark. He scribbled something down before attaching it to Mark’s sketch book.

“Jinyoung. It’s nice to meet you.”

Mark smiled softly at that and curled up on the bench, his legs tucking under him as he went back to quietly scribbling away. A phone buzzing more than Jinyoung had ever seen a phone buzz shook him from his book moments later. Mark pulled his phone from his pocket and turned his own alarm off before he packed up his things and got up. He set a final note on Jinyoung’s book before taking his leave.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jinyoung didn’t know why he was watching the clock today, maybe it was because he felt a little excited about going to see Mark at the bench? Maybe it was because he had an extra delicious lunch packed? It probably was in part due to the fact that it was once again warmer out. The winds had died down, the sun was out, and he was comfortable in a light sweater over a button down shirt. He could hear Jaebum and Jackson nagging his “old man style” from miles away but he was comfortable.

The professor seemed no more inclined to stay inside than the students did, she dismissed them 10 minutes early and gave them no assignments other than some reading to accomplish for class monday. Since Jinyoung had already finished the book, this would be an easy weekend for him.

Packing up his bag Jinyoung made his way out of the main building and back along the familiar route to the east end, looking around to see if Mark had arrived yet but he didn’t. Jinyoung didn’t mind that, he had a few multiple choice questions to answer from his first class of the day that he could bang out in no time. Sitting down on the familiar wooden bench Jinyoung took out his laptop and opened it up, pulling up the assignment and got right to work.

He actually got a bit lost in his work, not noticing that Mark was walking in his direction until he had already sat down. Jinyoung looked over when he was done expecting to see an empty bench and jumped at the sight of Mark. Eyes wide as they looked at each other Mark raised an eyebrow before settling his body down like he normally would.

“Beautiful day.” Jinyoung said, looking to Mark who blinked a few times before he pointed to the headphones in his ear. Scribbling down on a post-it note he carefully pulled the yellow square from the pad and set it between them.

“Sorry, I’m listening to something important.”

Jinyoung nodded his head and reached into his bag, putting his computer away before he pulled out the little pad of purple post-it notes he had purchased a few days prior while grocery shopping. Writing something down he moved to stick it by Mark’s note.

“I don’t want to bother you then. Are you just getting out of class?”

“I am! My modern poetry class, I’m not the biggest fan of it.”

“Why is that? Most poetry can be so beautiful.”

“You’re right, I guess I’m just cynical at times. It’s silly of me though, to be so cynical when life is going pretty well.”

“I understand that, I can be cynical as well. I’m often teased about it. Are you done for the day?”

“I have class from 3-6. We’re going to have a live model come in and pose for us.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows shot up to the sky at the note, looking closer to make sure he read it right as Mark started to laugh next to him. His head throwing back making his neck look so long and soft. Jinyong’s eyes trailed along it’s entire length before he got up to the brightest smile he’d ever seen. Mark’s laugh was infectious, the kind of sound you could play on repeat and never get tired of. If he could make it his new alarm sound he would have.

Where were these thoughts coming from? He had to shake them off.

Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile though, letting out a soft chuckle in response to Mark’s fit of laughter that had him covering his mouth as to not embarrass himself. He had never been a big fan of his smile, and the habit to cover it came shortly after his last break up. He had been told, in detail, that he was the least attractive when he smiled and even though his ex was a vile creature, it stuck with him.

Mark finally calmed down, wiping at the sides of his eyes. One of his headphones fell out which he didn’t seem to notice and Jinyoung reached over to hold it up for him. Mark looked down confused before smiling brightly, nodding his head in thanks before he put it back into his ear. Jinyoung questioned basically everything about what had happened but voiced none of it out loud. He figured Mark had his own thing, which he respected because he had his.

Reaching to check his watch for the time, Jinyoung took his post-it notes and started to write.

“I can’t imagine being for 3 hours, let alone posing in front of so many people. The model is quite brave.”

Jinyoung chuckled to himself as he set the note down, Mark laughed as well at it, picking it up to read better before turning to his sketches.

“I couldn’t do it either. I get shy drawing… it. I couldn’t picture being the one up there.” Attached was a little image of Mark covering his eyes, though peaking out of his fingers to see.

Jinyoung giggled at the picture before nodding in agreement, happy they had an understanding about that. Jinyoung’s alarm went off on his watch signaling it was time for him to go, Mark didn’t seem to notice the shrill buzz ringing next to him. He just happily sketched away lost in the moment even though he had class soon. Jinyoung threw his bag over his shoulder and gripped at the strap, waving his hand in front of Mark’s face to vie for his attention. When Mark looked up he smiled a smile that almost made Jinyoung forget what he was going to say. Almost.

“Don’t you also have class at 3? You’re going to be late.” He said, confused as to why Mark was watching him with a blank stare on his face.

It was then Mark’s own phone started to buzz violently, he pulled it out of his pocket quickly to see the time and got up quickly. Some of his papers tried to fall but he was quick to catch them. Jinyoung’s brain twitched at the disorganization, how Mark was probably the type of person that was constantly late to his classes because he got lost in what he was doing. Jinyoung moved out quickly to catch some of the papers before they spilled out onto the floor.

Mark bowed his head politely and smiled as he took the sketches back from Jinyoung. Moving to carefully slip them back into his folders before he checked his watch, eyes going wide at the time. His panic made Jinyoung look at his phone and groan, he was now 2 minutes late to his class. Rushing Jinyoung took off quickly for his building which thankfully wasn’t far but he still made it to class 5 minutes late. Grumbling as he sunk down into his seat, luckily his professor didn’t say anything. Then again it was the first time Jinyoung had ever been late.

Probably not the last.

Friday felt like it came rather quickly. It was always Jinyoung’s favorite day. Not because it meant wild parties and endless drinks, but it meant two days to relax without an alarm screeching at him to get back to his obligations. Mark knew that Jinyoung got out at 1 but he said he would still be on the bench if Jinyoung wanted to join him. Jinyoung thought about it, sure that he could spare an hour or two on the bench since he didn’t have work in the evening. He was a bit worried though, the day was the coldest it had been all week, enough to have him wearing multiple layers and gloves.

Jinyoung hopes that Mark was dressed better for the weather.

Hands shoved deep into the pockets of his denim trousers Jinyong left his class and walked through the campus to see Mark curled up on the bench, the same bubble gum pink sweatshirt covering his body with little else in the way of protection. Jinyoung huffed at the sight before casually walking over to sit down next to Mark. Mark looked over and smiled brightly at him, handing him over a folded piece of paper. Taking it with a curious look Jinyoung forgot about scolding Mark to open the page.

The sight of it had Jinyoung jump back slightly before he covered his mouth with one hand to conceal his laughter. He laughed so loudly at the image, half out of horror before he looked to Mark who had the most innocent of smiles playing about his lips. Jinyoung’s smile seemed infectious and again Mark was laughing. He grabbed his post-it notes and quickly wrote something down for Jinyoung.

“To be fair, it was cold in the room.”

Jinyoung started to laugh harder, having to really cover his mouth as tears sprang to his eyes. He didn’t know why he was getting such a reaction, or when was the last time he laughed in such a manner.

“The poor soul, three hours of that?” Jinyoung said, but remembered Mark had his headphones in again. Jinyoung thought it a little rude of him to be listening to music every time they enjoyed each other's company but maybe he was studying via an audio book. Mark looked over at him confused before he turned to better look at Jinyoung.

“Why are you not in a warmer jacket?” Jinyoung asked, Mark shrugged in response. Frustrated Jinyoung made the motion for Mark to remove his headphones so that he could hear him easier. That seemed to have upset him.

Mark’s entire demeanor changed. He looked down nervously, eyes shifting around the ground before he got up abruptly. He quickly scribbled something down about needing to leave for an appointment and made his way out of the sitting area. Jinyoung gave a blank stare at the paper attached to his book, reading over Mark’s letters before he watched him walk away. Did he say something to upset him? Jinyoung became plagued with thoughts about what he could have possibly done to upset Mark. Through conversation he knew he had an early day like Jinyoung did so he wasn’t running late to class.

Bewildered Jinyoung watched as Mark vanished around the corner and sighed, standing up he slid his hands back down into his pockets and started for his own car. As try as he might he couldn’t stop worrying over what he might have done to upset Mark. Getting to his car he threw his bag into the back seat and leaned against the door, chewing at his lower lip before doing his best to push all of the thoughts away. He would ask him on monday, if he was at the bench.

“What if he doesn’t come, what if I upset him that much?” Jinyoung said out loud then cringed at the thought of him being so insensitive.

“Why do I care!” He added, groaning to himself before he slid into the driver's seat and took off for his home.

A call came through his bluetooth half way back into town, he looked at the name to see Yugyeom calling him. Pressing the button on his steering wheel to answer the call Jinyoung kept his attention on the road.

“Hello?”

“Jaebum said you’re coming out with us tonight, I needed to hear it from you to believe it.”

Jinyoung gripped tightly at the steering wheel, finger hovering over the hang up button before he let out a sigh.

“Yes. I promised him I would go with you guys tonight for a few hours.”

Jinyoung heard shouting in the background followed by the phone shuffling around.

“I hope you know we’re staying out until like 4am. You never come out with us we need to make the most of this!”

“Wah no! It will throw off my whole schedule.”

“This coming from someone who probably has set times he’s allowed to go to the bathroom. I don’t want to hear it. I’m coming over now, I’ll meet you at your house.”

The line disconnected and Jinyoung grumbled to himself, 4am was in no way shape or form a decent time frame if he was to get everything done he needed to do the following day. He could probably sneak away several hours into whatever they had planned. Now with the call over and his music softly filling the car Jinyoung’s thoughts again went back to Mark, and how nervous he looked. Jinyoung wrecked his brain trying to find what exactly happened. It all started when he told Mark to take his headphones out but that wasn’t him being rude was it? Was whatever he was listening to that important?

Surely that was a silly notion. Nothing could be that important that you couldn’t pause it for 5 minutes of casual conversation. Then again Jinyoung never paused his work for casual anything so in a way he understood. Maybe Mark was struggling with classes and doing all he could to catch back up. In that case Jinyoung felt even worse for asking him to halt what he was doing for him.

Pulling up into the lower level of his building Jinyoung parked his car in the spot reserved for him, getting his bag out of the backseat before he flipped around his keyring to find the key to his front door. He’d taken maybe 6 steps from his car before he felt someone grab him by the shoulders. Letting out a yelp he swung his bag to try and get whomever was grabbing him away but he was soon threw into the back seat of a car. Looking around nervously he spotted Jackson who was laughing harder than any normal person should be, Jaebum in the front seat with a devilish smirk on his face, and then watched Yugyeom crawl in behind him shutting the door.

“I don’t even get to change?” He argued, fixing his glasses on his nose before hugging his bag close to his chest.

“You can borrow my clothes.” Jaebum said from the front seat, looking at Jinyoung in the rear view mirror as he left Jinyoung’s apartment building to head for his own. Jinyoung just groaned, his head hitting the back of the seat as a way to protest but he knew he was vastly overruled here.

4:00 am. 4 in the ing morning. Were they out of their minds? Jinyoung was seething by the end of the night, glaring at his watch as he watched every minute pass him by. His anxiety at an all time high, mind racing with what he would have to give up doing on his day off because he knew he had to sleep in. Thank god he didn’t have work because he would have abandoned everyone and ran home hours ago.

Currently they were sitting outside of some local 24/7 fried chicken shop. Jaebum, Yugyeom, Jackson, and Bambam who had met up with them were devouring more food than any normal human should be able to while Jinyoung tried to use water to push the alcohol from his system. So many forced shots had him seeing double, and getting three times more irritable.

“So who’s your new boyfriend?” Jackson finally asked, Jinyoung’s head shot up from his food. Eyes full of worry at Jackson’s question making the others stop everything and turn to him.

“He has a boyfriend?” Jaebum asked as if he needed to hear it again to be sure.

“He’s been late to class twice this week.” Jackson smirked, and Jinyoung started to hate that they took the same General Psychology class Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

“Jinyoung is never late for anything.” Bambam leaned in curiously and Jinyoung looked around to see 4 sets of eyes boring holes into his head. Grumbling to himself Jinyoung looked down at his food.

“You all know I have no intentions of dating any time soon, if ever again. I don’t have a boyfriend I’ve just been helping someone study and lost track of time.” It was a lie, a small white lie though. Knowing Jinyoung’s character and the way he functioned from day to day hopefully it wasn’t a hard one to accept either.

Jackson looked unconvinced but the others seemed to buy into his bull easily.

It wasn’t bull though, he wasn’t dating. He just made a new friend, one that he upset earlier and now was back onto worrying what he had done to make him run away like that. Frowning to himself Jinyoung took to finishing his food quietly before promptly demanding they all finally go home. Or at least that he was going to go home because it was now after 4:30am and he had things to do.

Thankfully the general consensus was that yes, it was time to call it a night. All of them got up and disposed off their trash before stumbling behind Yugyeom who decided to be the sober one that night so they could force Jinyoung to drink. The lot of them piled into the car, Jinyoung was quick to snatch up his back to remind himself not to forget it in the back of Jaebum’s car.

They dropped him off first since everyone in the car could feel his irritability brewing in the back seat, none of them needed to know it was because his mind was wrecked with thoughts over what he did to upset Mark. Even once he was safely back inside his house he couldn’t stop thinking. Setting his bag down on the floor he started to unpack his belongings and set them out on the small desk near his bed.

A few of their post-it notes fell around him and Jinyoung sighed scooping them up. He read over a few of them before tucking them safely away in the top drawer of his desk with the others he had collected over the last week. He sat down at the desk and just looked at the gray pin board he had posted above the desk, looking at his work schedule to confirm he still had saturday off, his school schedule to see he had completed every assignment, and then to the picture Mark had drawn their second day on the bench together. He looked carefully to see the scribbled out bit, wishing he knew what it said under it. He could make out ‘I’m’ but that was about it. Sighing, it was time for bed.

Jinyoung didn’t bother with pajamas, he just undressed and flung himself under the covers with no care for the state his room probably was in.

Monday came slower than Jinyoung would have liked. There was a nervous twitch as he watched the clock rather than that feeling he had something to look forward to. Completely wrecked from the weekend sitting at home worrying over his choices lead to a rather exhausted looking Jinyoung. Even working saturday didn’t distract his brain from the torment it seemed fit to induce on itself.

The second the professor excused them Jinyoung quickly threw everything into his bag and made his way out of class. He was no more than 3 steps out of the building when Jackson ran up to him, taking him by the hand towards a more quiet area.

“Hey can I look over your assignment for class. I feel like I got everything wrong. Maybe I should join your study session.” Jackson chewed his lip, noticing the distracted far off look on Jinyoung’s face.

“No!” Jinyoung said quickly before coughing, bowing his head to excuse himself.

“I will email you my paper. Just.. Don’t copy it word for word please.” Jinyoung called before he quickly started down the walkway towards the east end.

Jinyoung’s palms felt sweaty, he tucked them into his jeans to try and distract himself from feeling anxious. The day was nicer, a bit of a chilly wind but nothing you couldn’t tolerate if you were dressed correctly. Another plaguing thought since Mark never seemed to be dressed correctly.

Heading down to the little cove of benches Jinyoung saw their normal bench empty, his heart sank at the state of it before he moved cautiously to sit down in his usual spot. Looking around for a few minutes Jinyoung let out an upset sigh before he pulled his lunch box from his bag. He had packed simple the night before. Slices of tempura pork and a hard boiled egg, the taste helped to ease his troubled mind a little, although the glaringly empty space next to him provided a source of anxiety in the corner of his mind. He was almost done with his lunch box when he saw a figure walking over to him, he tried not to look up as someone sat next to him.

He felt even more nervous now as he slowly turned his head to see Mark curling up in the spot next to him, Jinyoung quickly put the lid on his lunch box and set it between their bodies. A strong wind came and Jinyoung watched Mark curl up more into his black hoodie. Frowning at the sight Jinyoung pulled the warm cashmere scarf from his neck and reached out to carefully wrap it around Mark’s own.

“You need to dress warmer.” Jinyoung said softly and Mark sighed.

“I forgot my jacket at home. I didn’t think I would need it.” Mark frowned, that was the most Jinyoung had heard him say at once and it threw him off a bit. Even more so because he still had his headphones in. He carefully moved the scarf so it was wrapped under his headphones. Jinyoung watched as some of the tension seemed to dissolve from his body now that he had something keeping his impossibly long neck warm.

Mark started to scribble down on his post-it notes before sticking it to Jinyoung’s lunch box.

“Sorry I’m late. Class didn’t get out on time.”

Jinyoung picked it up and felt a wave of relief wash over him. Mark wasn’t late because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come or not, he was late because of class. Good. Jinyoung liked that. Not that class kept him.

He needed to stop overthinking everything.

Pulling out his own post-it notes Jinyoung settled back against the bench. He tapped his pen against the purple paper as he looked out at the campus. Since it was a nicer day everyone seemed to be out. It was still quiet though, as if everyone respected the people around them trying to either read or study quietly. Jinyoung appreciated this location even more, and not just because Mark didn’t seem upset with him.

Or maybe that was the entire reason. No. It couldn’t be the reason.

“You don’t have class until 4 right?”

“That’s right! I think you know my schedule better than I do!”

Jinyoung giggled at the note as he read it over, moving to take his laptop out of his bag and open up his school email. It was a good thing he did he realized that his 3:00pm class had been cancelled due to an unforeseen emergency. Jinyoung felt a bit of excitement wash over him, not because it meant he had more time with Mark. But because he would now have more time before work to make a great dinner.

“It turns out my class was cancelled, I can keep you company if you want.”

Mark picked up the note and smiled wide, nodding his head before he picked up the notes and slid them into his binder with countless others he seemed to be keeping. Jinyoung wondered if they were all from him or if he did this with other people. He hoped he didn’t. He liked the idea of it being special between them even if that seemed like an unrealistic notion.

“I would like that very much. I would have just sat here alone like I normally do.”

Jinyoung frowned at that, attaching the note to his laptop as he scribbled his own back.

“Have you had lunch already?”

“No. I forgot that at home as well. Not surprising I forget it every day I think.”

Jinyoung sighed, reaching between them where his bento box was, opening it carefully he handed it over to Mark. Wide eyed Mark shook his head no at first as if to say he couldn’t before Jinyoung rolled his eyes and set it on his lap so he had no choice. Mark smiled softly looking at it and nodded his head in thanks as he used the chopsticks Jinyoung handed over to finish the food inside the container. Humming in appreciation at the delicious food Mark let his eyes shut gently and Jinyoung found him to be so young in that moment. Also felt upset that all these days he sat there eating his lunches and Mark was probably starving.

Turning back to his computer Jinyoung started on his homework from his first class of the day, answering the multiple choice questions while Mark finished up what was left of Jinyoung’s lunch happily. When he was finished he put the box back together and set it down next to Jinyoung with a note attached to it. A Cartoon of himself with stars in his eyes in the lower left corner had Jinyoung’s heart melting a little.

“Thank you so much, it was very good. Did you make that yourself?”

Jinyoung looked over and nodded with a smile before he put the container back into his bag. Digging around inside he set his chopsticks away in their container so they wouldn’t get wrecked before he sat straight up again. Mark had gotten back to sketching and he left him be as he finished up the multiple choice questions he had for his English Language class.

Time must have passed them quickly, before Jinyoung knew it Mark was sliding a note onto his computer that had Jinyoung shaking out of his gaze. He looked closely at it and checked at the time on his computer to see that it was correct.

“Don’t you have work at 6? It’s already 3:30.”

Jinyoung carefully tucked his laptop back in his bag and moved it from his feet to the side of the bench, he kept his post-it notes and pen out.

“It only takes me an hour to get home. I have plenty of time to stay until 4 and still make it on time.”

Mark looked down at the note and smiled wide, nodding his head before he fell back into a comfortable rhythm drawing. Jinyoung watched him for a few moments before he looked out at the people around him. The way the number of people had dwindled down now that it was getting a little darker, a little colder. Even he felt the chill in his fingertips that had him pushing the sleeves of his jacket down further over his hands. Mark had become a ball on the bench, wrapped up tighter in Jinyoung’s scarf, his drawing stopped eventually as he tucked his hands into the sleeves of his sweatshirts and just looked at his work to see what he wanted to do next.

This was comfortable, quiet, Jinyoung liked that they could sit like this and be completely comfortable. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he allowed himself to get lost in the way the wind around them finally seemed to calm down, how the slight chatter that filled the area, as soft as it was also became quiet. The only sound to be heard in the distance was of students walking to their next classes. He could smell coffee which made sense since someone sitting near them was drinking it while she typed away on her laptop.

Mark reached over to put his hand on Jinyoung’s getting his attention, Jinyoung frowned rather than got startled at how cold Mark’s hands were. He looked down at them and moved to pull Mark’s hoodie over his hands before his eyes went up to meet with his own.

“Do you want to walk me to class?” His new note said and Jinyoung nodded his head, standing quietly he wrapped his bag around his shoulder and waited for Mark to be organized so they could walk. It was in the opposite direction of his car it seemed but he didn’t mind that. Mark asked for his company and who was he to deny it.

They fell into a silent rhythm walking side by side together, Jinyoung’s hands slid into his pockets as Mark fell into a comfortable stride next to him. His eyes staying focused on the pavement in front of him. Generally a dangerous thing for someone with their headphones in.

Someone came roaring down the hill on a skateboard and Jinyoung quickly pulled Mark out of the way so he didn’t get hurt as the skater sailed by them. Mark looked shocked as he watched the boy go down the hill then back up to Jinyoung who seemed just as nervous as he was.

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung asked and Mark blinked carefully before nodding his head at the question. Jinyoung looked Mark over to ensure that he was actually okay before he stood up straight and fixed his bag. Mark bent down to pick up the few papers that had spilled during his sudden move. Both of his headphones fell out at his movements and Jinyoung was quick to bend over and help him.

“I’m sorry your stuff got messed up, here.” he said but Mark wasn’t paying attention. Jinyoung tapped his side and held out the papers for Mark to take. Mark mumbled a thanks before he slid them back into his folder and stood upright again.

“My class is in that building.” Mark smiled brightly, pointing just up the hill. Jinyoung turned and nodded his head before he focused back on Mark.

“I’ll leave you be then. Your headphones fell out.” Jinyoung moved to untangle them from Mark’s arm before holding the earbuds out for him. Mark smiled even more and carefully slid them back into his ears.

“Tomorrow… Do you want to hear my song with me?” Mark offered and Jinyoung felt himself growing curious. He nodded his head at the question before Mark’s smile grew. He bowed his head saying good bye and took off for up the hill, Jinyoung stayed and watched to make sure that Mark got inside safely before he turned and started for the parking lot. Tomorrow would be an interesting day, he was sure the song had to be something wonderful if it captivated Mark’s attention like it did.

Jinyoung arrived home later than he wanted, in part due to him sitting in his car for a while trying to warm himself up. Shivering to himself before he realized that Mark still had his scarf. Typically he would be furious that someone took something of his but he did give it to Mark to keep him warm and knowing it did that eased his mind.

He threw the items needed for a good stu in his cooker and set the temperature before packing himself a snack to tide him over while he worked. Even though it was dark and cold it never made sense to Jinyoung to drive such a short distance.

He got into the cafe with a few moments left to spare, Jaebum was already sitting behind the counter with his feet up as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Jinyoung pushed by him to take his usual seat, setting his things out Jinyoung didn’t notice the slew of post-it notes connected to his laptop as he dug around for his textbook. Jaebum leaned forward and picked several off his computer and read them with a curious eye, glancing over to Jinyoung as he held them up.

“No boyfriend?” He teased and Jinyoung looked over, he was quick to snatch them from his friend and slide them carefully back into his bag before he removed the rest from his screen.

“No boyfriend, I just made a new friend. You know better than most that I’m not going to date again.” Jinyoung said bluntly and set his bag down next to him. Jaebum rolled his eyes and turned his attention towards his book.

“You don’t make friends.” Jaebum reminded, Jinyoung just huffed and went about typing. He wasn’t going to put up with the back and forth tonight even if Jaebum had a point. His tight schedule didn’t really allow him much time to socialize. Well it did, Jinyoung went out of his way not to make time for it. Mark just happened to fit into his already made schedule.

It wasn’t like they hung out off campus, or outside of the allotted time they had. Jinyoung wasn’t counting the days he stayed late because he used that time to get his work done. Which counted as being productive, and not social.

No. He had a routine. He wasn’t willing to admit that Mark had become part of it.

Jinyoung half wished that today was Wednesday and not Tuesday. Having his class at 3 meant he only had the open hour to spend with Mark. Today if Mark was going to be sharing his music with him he wanted to properly give it the attention he felt it deserved. Heading down to their spot..

His spot, that he shared with Mark. Not their spot.

Getting to the bench Mark was already curled up drawing, he had Jinyoung’s scarf wrapped around his neck and a better jacket on. Jinyoung hoped the scarf reminded him to bundle up. Pushing his thick rimmed glasses up over the bridge of his nose Jinyoung took a seat like usual and opened his bag to pull out his lunch box, only this time he pulled out a second one and handed it over to Mark. Mark’s eyes went wide at the sight. He looked from the box to Jinyoung in awe before his cold hands slid out to take it from Jinyoung in thanks.

Silently the two ate in total peace, looking out at the world around them. Jinyoung noticed that every so often Mark’s eyes would flutter shut as he enjoyed the flavors of Jinyoung’s home cooked lunch. Jinyoung found that silent praise to be addictive in a way, sitting back with a smug smile about his face as he finished the last of his rolled cabbage and put his box back together. Tucking it away in his bag Jinyoung felt the itch to pull out his laptop or a book to read to fill the silence but he knew Mark was going to show him something special today and he wanted to divulge his full attention to that.

There was a nagging doubt in the back of his mind reminding him that not doing work while they were sitting together made this visit social and not productive, that he was going against his own reasoning behind why this wasn’t different from what he normally did.

Those thoughts that had him almost reaching for a book were silenced when Mark put not a post-it note on his lap but a little sketch paper that seemed to be drawn out in a more comic like style as if Mark had ripped pages from a comic book.

Only it was something he had drawn himself.

This first page had Mark waving at the top, a word bubble next to his head with ‘Hello Jinyoung’ scribbled in it. He had the scarf wrapped around his neck, Jinyoung thought that was cute. The second half of the page had a rather shy looking Mark looking like he was kicking the dirt around him with considerably more text written by him.

“Hey Jinyoung! I promised you that I’d let you hear my song today. I’m nervous to show you, and I understand if you want me to sit somewhere else..”

Raising an eyebrow Jinyoung looked over to Mark who pulled the earphones out of his ears carefully and handed them over to Jinyoung. It felt almost forbidden for Jinyoung to take them from him. Like they were some important life source to Mark.

Jinyoung carefully took them from him however and Mark set another piece of paper in his lap. This one was again cut in half comic style the first square held just a drawing of him hiding behind the bench while a little cartoon Jinyoung had the headphones in.

Jinyoung chuckled at the picture as he put the buds in his ear. He heard… Nothing. It was quiet. Did his song stop? Did Mark have to push play first. He waited a minute but there was still nothing. He pulled them out of his ear and looked at Mark curiously.

Looking back down to the paper he looked at the bottom of the paper which was cut into two squares. The first one had the little cartoon Mark pointing to both of his ears, and the second had him blowing a whistle while holding up a sign that had a giant X on it.

Mark then moved his hands and Jinyoung’s eyes grew wider at the way they twisted in the air. Mark was… talking to him. Not through his mouth but with his hands, he was… signing to him. Looking down at the headphones Jinyoung started to piece everything together, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before he handed the headphones back over.

“You’re deaf…” He said softly, looking straight at Mark. Now it made sense as to why Mark watched his mouth when he spoke, why he had that blank look when Jinyoung spoke quickly or away from him. He was trying to read his lips, and understand him.

“Yeah… For 12 years. I lost my hearing in a bad accident when I was young. I can talk, I can read lips but…” Sighing Mark looked down at his hands nervously. Jinyoung chewed at his lips and picked up the papers Mark had drawn for him before carefully tucking them away in his bag.

He waved in front of Mark’s face to get him to look up before handing over a post-it note that he quickly scribbled down.

“Why would I want you to sit somewhere else. I expect you here tomorrow.” Jinyoung smiled brightly while Mark read it, the boy looking up at him as if he could cry before he nodded his head.

“Tomorrow. I won’t be late I promise.” Mark said and Jinyoung nodded that he understood, Mark handed Jinyoung a final post-it note before he took his leave. Jinyoung watched Mark leave for his class before heading to his own.

Taking a look at the note after he got settled down Jinyoung smiled at the little drawing of Mark holding up his cellphone.

“Text me, that’s easiest for me.”

His number was under it, Jinyoung’s heart fluttered. He wouldn’t admit to that either.

Getting back to his apartment that night Jinyoung did his laundry as scheduled, folding most of it and hanging the rest while catching up on his shows. As soon as he was finished he had a quiet dinner alone, tonight it was his favorite seafood soup. Jinyoung enjoyed the peace of his apartment, being able to just sit down at his desk and unpack his bag without the nagging from the outside world telling him he needed to have more fun in his life. He dug everything out of his bag and blinked when he saw the two drawings from Mark. Smiling wide he added the post-it notes to his collection before adding the pages to his board with the first one. His own little collection of art in a way.

Once his homework was done Jinyoung got up to wash his lunch boxes from the day before, filled two new ones with lunches for Mark and himself before he shut everything off and moved to his bedroom.

“Deaf. How did I not notice? How insensitive of me to ask him to take the headphones out.” Jinyoung sighed, talking to himself while changing into his favorite pajamas. “No wonder he ran off, he got scared I wouldn’t understand. Do I come off as someone that wouldn’t understand? Have I let myself get that closed off…” Jinyoung sunk down into the mattress and sighed, plagued by a whole new set of thoughts regarding what he could have done to appear more supportive of Mark.

He decided tomorrow would be different, he would make it clear to Mark that this changed nothing between them because in reality it didn’t. Also because there was nothing between them. Jinyoung enjoyed his company, they were well on their way to becoming friends. That was all this would be, friends. Because that’s all Jinyoung could manage honestly. He didn’t have the ability to process anything other than that. Not right now anyway despite what his friends had to say.

It was as he laid in bed Jinyoung remembered the note Mark handed to him before he left, chewing at his lip he got up quickly to dig it out of the drawer, smiling at how many notes were piled up just from the last week and a half of them talking.

He found the paper with Mark’s number on it and walked back to his room, his phone clutched in his other hand as he wondered if it were too late for him to text Mark. Surely he would be sleeping right? Or was he the type to pull an all nighter finishing his homework.

Jinyoung tormented over a single text for close to 20 minutes before he typed in Mark’s number, saved the contact, and opened a blank text. From there it took him another 20 minutes to type out 18 different messages before he hit send, and a solid 5 minutes of groaning with his face stuffed into the pillow wishing he could just vanish into a ditch.

JY: Hey! Sorry this took so long, I had more homework to do than I thought. I hope you had a good evening. This is Jinyoung by the way. Park Jinyoung, from the bench.

MK: I feel like all you ever do is homework, do you really get that much? Wow. You poor thing when do you ever get to rest?

Jinyoung grinned at the text, actually grinned, like an idiot reading it. He must have read it several times before he moved to get comfortable, sitting up on his bed so that he could reply easier.

JY: I like to get everything done ahead of time, nothing I finished today was due for several days but I hate to let things sit around. Might as well get it all done so I have more free time towards the end of the week.

MK: Makes sense, I think I put everything off till the last minute. I feel like I’m drowning in projects right now. I’m still recovering from drawing that man. T.T

Jinyoung knew it. He knew that Mark was the type of person that would put stuff off until the last minute. He couldn't help but giggle at himself, feeling happy he could tell that from their general interaction. Wait, no. It wasn't a giggle. Talking to Mark didn't make him giggle.

JY: I would offer to help but even my stick figures are an embarrassment. I would only further serve to cause you more stress with them.

MK: I appreciate you looking out for me, first the scarf now my sanity. I’ll give it back tomorrow, I’m sorry I keep forgetting. I do that a lot.

JY: It will still probably be cold tomorrow.

Leaving the text quickly Jinyoung groaned looking at the time, when did it become so late? He already lost so much sleep worrying over what to text Mark with and now their conversation was keeping him up well beyond his bedtime. He sighed, defeated in his loss of sleep as he checked the weather app quickly, then made sure his alarm was set for the correct time. When all that was said and done he returned to his messages.

JY: Yes I just checked, it will be. Maybe we should meet inside for once? I already packed us lunch, I hope you don’t mind spicy fried tofu and seafood pancakes. It was all I seemed to have left.

MK: You are so sweet for bringing me lunch, I seem to always forget it. I will find a way to repay your kindness one of these days. I’ll see you tomorrow around 1 right? I hope you have sweet dreams.

Jinyoung again smiled like an idiot, in one text every thought of being upset over the loss of sleep caused by their conversation dissipated into the darkness of his room. Chewing on his lower lip Jinyoung was happy Mark couldn’t see the dumb look on his face.

JY: Meet me in the library, they have a quiet room on the second floor nobody ever goes into. We can eat in there. Have sweet dreams yourself.

Jinyoung locked his phone and set it on his nightstand, rolling over onto his back he got lost in the darkness of his room for a bit. Mind wandering to the day's events, to when Mark spilled his secret and how nervous he must have been. Jinyoung appreciated him telling him, not that he thought Mark should have. But it meant he trusted Jinyoung enough.

That night Jinyoung had his first dream in months, and it was in fact sweet.