Chanyeol

Something extraordinary and magical happened to me. I don't know why it chose me, but I was extremely grateful for what happened on that day and the days that followed.

It was when a lonely boy took over my body with an innocent thought that he was only dreaming. I used to have an urge to slap him back to reality. 

To tell you the truth, I was really scared at first. It was the first and only time I felt like being controlled physically. And I really was being controlled by a total stranger!!! I thought I was possessed by an evil spirit; and I thought so wrong. 

That boy was no evil spirit. 

He was Luhan. 

The most beautiful man I know before even seeing him in person. 

The most beautiful stranger...

You'd think I'd hate him for using my body without my permission, but I didn't. I had no idea how it happened, I just assumed that the supernatural force of whatsoever chose me because it knew that this boy could change the way I look at life.

If before he came into my life I thought my life was boring and repetitive, my outlook on it changed the moment I met him. 

I started seeing the real beauty of my life because of him. Through his soul and his eyes that looked at life through mine, it became clearer to me as to why I should appreciate this gift of life more.

I learned a lot of things about Luhan while he was in my body. Luhan loves the outdoors, he loves running down the hill because he thinks it's fun, he loves even the simplest things like the wind and the big green trees and the visible mountains, he loves everything about the beach, he loves sports and is really good at them even though he wasn't trained by anyone, he loves dancing (he made me look really cool while doing it within me), he loves reading the love letters I received from admirers (one time he wished they were for him), and he loves music. Music is his best friend, he told me before. He loves playing instruments, but his favorite would be his violin because it was given by his mother who was once a famous violinist in the city before she met his father. 

I also learned that he's a very loving person. Though he was unwillingly homeschooled because his father was overprotective of him, Luhan never loathed his father. He cares for him and wishes they could spend more time together despite his father being busy all the time. His mother passed away when he was only 8 and that was also when she gave him the violin as her last gift for him. 

One more thing I learned about Luhan is that he's never had anyone confess their feelings for him before. Kyungsoo was the first, although Kyungsoo actually confessed to me and it just happened that Luhan was in my body, living my life rather effortlessly. 

I was starting to get used to having him within me. I even made plans and suggestions for him to do while he's in my body. I also promised him that I'd play in the tournament, and that I'll make him proud. I wanted him to be there while I practiced. I wanted him to listen to the music that I decided to continue composing because of him. I wanted to tell him that my sister bought me another mirror since the one we always used broke.

The mirror that became our mirror for each other broke that night he disappeared. That night, I lost him. I waited, but the following nights were the same. He never came back like he usually did. 

Then I remembered what he told me before fading on me. He said he was sick and dying. He didn't have enough time to live. Only then did I understand why he made such a childish wish on his birthday.

And I - I couldn't just settle with the thought of him dying.

I knew I had to do something. I had to find him. I needed to find him and I wanted to see him so bad. 

He wasn't easy to find though, or perhaps I was just too slow. I visited places he used to visit when he was still in my body. The beach, the tree on top of the hill, the shrine, and even the convenience store. He was nowhere. 

I asked random people if they knew someone with the name of 'Luhan', but none of them had even heard of this unique name, so I thought maybe Lu just came up with a random name or maybe he was right, that we were both just dreaming. 

I decided to play the piano every night. It was at the small music club in town, I also used to go there when I was younger just to play the piano and other musical instruments with a bunch of other young musicians. I continued finishing one of the old music sheets I was supposed to forget until Luhan found it and brought it back to me. I played the piano because I knew he'd love it. I played with a hopeful wish that he'd find me in that room as easily as he found himself in my body. 

I worked on it for weeks, but I don't think he heard me play at all. I asked myself questions like, "what if he doesn't exist? What if you were only dreaming that time? Or what if... what if  he died the moment he stopped coming to me?" I was so sad, everyone noticed but him since he stopped coming. 

Everyone assumed my heart was broken by someone whom they didn't even know. My sister bought me a mirror, thinking the mirror that broke before was the one causing me such heartbreak. Well, she was partially right. 

But the new mirror she bought for me only made me break down into tears. I didn't realize I was crying until she said so though, which was extremely embarrassing in my part. 

Weeks passed. I've never felt so unaccomplished and hopeless until that day. The tournament was fast approaching, but Luhan was being annoyingly hard to find. It was driving me crazy. So crazy, I couldn't eat properly. I couldn't reply to love letters anymore. I couldn't play with my friends anymore or help my sister grocery shopping. And every time I passed by the beach or the tree on top of the hill or the shrine or the convenience store or anything that remind me of him, I cried silently. 

I remembered when he lived within me, it felt so great. It was so great, too great that I didn't want him to go and leave. For the first time, life was beautiful for me. For the first time, I appreciated this gift of life. And for the first time, I wanted to share it with someone as beautiful as him inside out.

On the day of the tournament, however, I thought of walking away from my dreams once again. I walked aimlessly towards the top of the hill, thinking maybe I needed a hike to clear my mind. That was, until I heard a beautiful melody of a violin. I stopped on my tracks and search for the sound of music playing in my ears, loud yet pleasantly beautiful, as if it wanted to be found, so I followed it. 

Desperately and eagerly. 

"Luhan!" I called for him, not knowing where to go, not certain if it was his music calling me. "Luhan, where are you?!" But I had a strong feeling that it was him. The one playing the violin with so much passion. I couldn't be wrong. 

I could no longer stop running then. Not until I was sure that I was standing not far away from him. 

Albeit it took me so long, I found his shelter right then and there. It wasn't that far away from the shrine, but it was definitely crowded for a person like him. There were guards everywhere, and some of them were staring at me as I stood frozen at the front gate. Not only that, I also recognized the big house from a long time ago. 

"Are you there, Lu...?" I mumbled, to myself. "This..." I looked around, recalling some fragments of memories I had about the house wherein the melody continued playing. 

I remembered it was that same place where I first saw him. He was also playing the violin back then, and his mother was teaching him. I instantly fell in love with both him and the music as I listened to him play a short lullaby that his mother taught him. I wanted to go near him and ask how he played such a beautiful lullaby but I got scared of the men in black surrounding them, so I ran as far as I could before they could catch me stealing glances.