Jinyoung got off the bus and dragged his feet to his class with additional bags under his eyes beside the one slung on his shoulder this morning. He stayed up all night until dawn, feeling too restless to sleep after hearing Jaebum’s confession. He had been thinking hard, and the fact that he still didn’t have the answer he needed made him frustrated. He felt anxiousness crawling in, didn’t know how to face the boy today. That was why he was still fidgeting in front of the door to his classroom, too afraid to get in.

What should I do? What should I say to him? What kind of face I should wear? What if we become awkward with each other? What if…

“Hey, what are you doing here, blocking the door?”

The familiar voice made Jinyoung jump, startled. He turned around to see the source of his distress since the day before standing next to him, smiling.

“You’re not going in?”

“Y-yeah, I’m about to.” Jinyoung cursed himself inside for failing to hide his nervousness. But he never expected to hear a chuckle coming out from the other boy.

“You’re so amusing, Jinyoung,” Jaebum said with his usual lopsided smirk while ruffling the other’s hair, and his face did look like he was so amused it annoyed Jinyoung.

“Stop teasing me!” Jinyoung yelled. Jaebum’s smirk grew into a wide grin as he said, “Why? It’s cute.”

Jinyoung just stared at his best friend as he walked into their classroom, dumbfounded by his words. When what the boy had said finally sank in, blush started to creep into his cheeks. He ran to hit Jaebum before sitting on a vacant seat two rows from the back of the room. He could hear him laughed wholeheartedly, staining his cheeks with deeper shade of red than before. It didn’t stop even when Jaebum sat next to Jinyoung.

“Stop laughing!” Jinyoung said with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance, kicking the other’s chair.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jaebum rose his hands up with a mischievous grin. Jinyoung looked away, sulking.

He knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t help getting embarrassed by his own and mad by Jaebum’s indifference. How can he act like nothing happened while I can’t even get a proper sleep last night thanks to him? Does he really like me? I feel like a fool thinking hard about him.

“Here, don’t sulk, I’ll give you this.”

Jinyoung felt something plastic tapping his shoulder. When he turned to look at the object, his eyes widened and sparkled with astonishment, forgetting the anxiety he felt before. It was the newest album from his favorite singer. He had been waiting for it to be available on record store since its release a few days back.

“When did you get this? How?”

“I stopped by a record store on my way home yesterday, and saw the shopkeeper putting it on display. It reminded me of you, so I bought it. I’m so generous, don’t you think?” Jaebum said with a smug smile, looking so proud that he managed to amaze the other.

“Of course, you’re the best!” Jinyoung leaped from his chair to hug Jaebum without thinking.

“I know, I know,” Jaebum said, patting the excited boy on his back. “So do you like me now?”

Jinyoung stiffened at that. He quickly pulled himself back, only to find Jaebum wearing his mischievous smile. He was teasing him again.

“I hate you!” Jinyoung said, irritated. He sat back on his seat again with a pout. He could hear his so-called best friend laughing again. Jaebum knew the sulking boy would never hate him no matter how much he was teasing him, and it irked Jinyoung because it was true.

Then he looked at the CD in his grip. Jaebum had always been this way, gentle and thoughtful, veiling it with his playfulness so he wouldn’t think much of his kindness. And he did, until now. Now he realized that every caring gesture he never thought much of wasn’t something he normally did to his other friends. He thought he understood his best friend well, turned out there was so many things he hadn’t grasped yet.

Jinyoung was fidgeting with his fingers, wondering whether he should say it or not before saying with a faint voice, “Thank you.” He looked up to find the other smiling at him with such a soft expression, contrasting to his mischievous one before, and Jinyoung’s heart only started to beat again when their lecturer entered the room a few seconds later.

--

Jinyoung could feel the warmth of familiar hand lightly his hair as consciousness slowly returned to him. Apparently he failed to stay awake throughout the lecture, and now his arm had fallen asleep along with him from bearing his head’s weight with addition of the pain on the back of his neck from being stretched. He was about to open his eyes and groan when he felt a flow of breath brushed by, and something else other than the hand on his temple over his hair, about as warm yet softer. A pair of lips.

Jinyoung lost the right time to open his eyes. If he did now, it would be so awkward. He wondered how long he had to ‘stay asleep’, but Jaebum answered the question for him.

“You can open your eyes now, Jinyoung. It’s so obvious that you’re already awake.”

It snapped both Jinyoung’s eyes open wide, and he abruptly straightened up. He could feel his face getting hotter along with Jaebum’s chortle. He felt so embarrassed he wanted to dig a hole and buried himself there forever.

“The lecture is already over. You don’t have another class after this, right? Let’s find something to eat.”

Jinyoung didn’t say anything, he just put all his things inside his bag and walk away, wanting to escape the classroom as soon as possible. Jaebum ran to walk alongside him.

“What do you want to eat? How about galbitang?”

Jinyoung stopped walking and stared at the boy beside him in disbelief. How can he act like nothing happened? But he knew just how stubborn his friend was, so he just sighed and surrendered.

“Okay.”

Jinyoung felt like he needed to squint his eyes from how bright Jaebum’s smile was, and it also made the corner of his mouth slightly pulled up. A moment later, they arrived at the store they frequently went to and ordered the usual before they fall silent. Jaebum still wore that broad smile of his. Jinyoung suddenly blurted out what had been in his mind, what he just realized today.

“You seriously like me, huh?”

It wasn’t that he doubted Jaebum when he said he like him yesterday. He knew Jaebum never lied, being a straightforward person he is. He just realized that it might actually be deeper than just a crush, like he thought before. Jaebum’s smile was still there, but the glee in his eyes shifted into uneasiness.

“Yeah.”

“Since when?” The curiosity had been itching Jinyoung’s mind for a while.

“If you ask me since when I like you, even I don’t know the answer to that. If you ask me since when I become aware that I like you, it’s simple. It’s one day around mid-December when we went skiing. You fell hard sliding down on your and you’re laughing. You’re wearing red knitted hat and scarf, with a really thick white parachute jacket. You’re so adorable, and I like the sound of your laugh. I realized I’ve always found you endearing, and I like being with you, and I want to continue being with you. So… that’s when.”

Jaebum smiled gently as if he was reminiscing that embarrassing moment while Jinyoung’s cheek were flushed red again remembering that. Just how many times I blush because of him today?

“Why do you like me?”

“Well, I just like you. Do you really need detailed reason to like someone? I just like you because my heart, my mind, my brain, my body, everything within me told me so.”

Jaebum’s straightforwardness was a part of him that Jinyoung appreciated but hated sometimes, because at times like this it made him at loss of words. Fortunately he was saved by the waiter bringing their order.

“Okay, let’s eat.” Jaebum said.

And they ate in silence again as Jinyoung contemplating over the things Jaebum just said.

--

Jinyoung’s frustrated groan echoed inside his room. He had been sitting before his laptop for more than an hour without making progress for his essay because his mind kept on wandering to Jaebum. He stood up and threw himself on his bed, giving up on trying to write his essay tonight.

He snickered at himself, finding it funny how one confession from Jaebum could make him overly conscious of the boy. Maybe that confession was the one thing that mattered the most. If not for Jaebum’s confession, maybe he would never realize the other’s feelings, being the thickheaded person he was, and never even try to analyse his feelings for him.

Jaebum had always been his best friend since they entered college. They’re more different than similar, they had different taste almost in everything. The clothes they wore, the music they listened to, the way they do things. Jinyoung often sugarcoated his words because he didn’t want to hurt others, while Jaebum always had his way of being blunt without hurting others, and it amazed Jinyoung. Jaebum hate people talking in roundabout ways or having hidden meaning behind their words, so Jaebum became the only person he could always be blunt to, and maybe that was why Jinyoung felt so comfortable with him.

Being with Jaebum was easy, and he learnt so many things because of him. Jaebum influenced him to read. He never really interested in reading, however after meeting Jaebum, almost all of his spare time spent with a book on his hands. Most of the books he read were Jaebum’s recommendation, and he was grateful Jaebum always took the time to pick a book he might like and lent it to him. It wasn’t always Jaebum’s own, sometimes he borrowed it from somewhere for himself, and if he thought Jinyoung might like it, he would lent it to him. And Jinyoung was always excited to expect what kind of book Jaebum would introduce him to.

Jaebum was such an important person to him, that’s why he considered his feelings seriously and pondered over his decision carefully. But it was so difficult, and it felt like his mind and heart were about to burst from being overworked. So he turned off the lamp and forced himself to sleep, not wanting to risk falling asleep in class again.