I wanted to continue with the kiss but I needed to get my thoughts cleared out. I need to understand his actions. I pushed his chest, stepping away from him. He took a step forward but I held my hand out.

"Stop. Don't come any nearer."

"Fumbles..."

"Why are you doing this to me now? Have you ever thought about how I would feel?"

Joohyuk sat down on the bench, burying his face in his hands. I stood near the rooftop edge, looking out to the greenery behind the school. I heard footsteps coming behind me and arms wrapped around my waist. I turned my head slightly and saw Joohyuk's cheek against the side of my head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take this long. I just--"

"What about Sungkyung? Jisoo?" I sighed, removing his hands from my waist and turning around. "Jisoo's been too good to me..."

Silence engulfed us, I didn't know what to tell him. I was hurting - both in my head and my heart - at the absurdity of this issue.

"I need to think. I am really confused right now."

I glanced at Joohyuk one last time before walking out the door. I took a few steps down the stairs and stopped when I heard a loud but dull thud come from the rooftop. I stopped myself from running back to check out what the source of the sound was.

I quickened my steps down and ran out of school, throwing my woes back on the school's ground.

*

I headed back towards the dorms.

The sudden information of Joohyuk telling me he loved me and that Jisoo and him fought - because of me - shook me up.

Jisoo likes me.

Joohyuk isn't happy about it.

Joohyuk likes me.

I'm not exactly sure how I should feel about that.

I'm supposed to be happy that he likes me back, but all I could think of was the look on Jisoo's face when I told him Joo had kissed me for the first time. Just when my heart is actually wavering towards Jisoo, Joohyuk comes back and delivers a blow to my heart with those few words.

I don't know what my heart wants anymore.

*

I neared my room door when I saw a figure leaning against the wall outside the door. I rubbed my eyes as the figure turned to face me. He straightened his back, his hand tucked in his pocket lazily while the other was in the air in a small wave.

It was Jisoo.

"Hey."

I walked up to him and stood before him. He wordlessly wrapped his arms around me, one hand on the back of my head and a small part of my back. Again, I feel that Jisoo connects the easiest to my heart.

Why didn't I fall for him first? Then maybe my heart wouldn't be so tired right now.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Did you meet Joo? Did he say something to you?"

"He just told me he didn't like the fact that you liked me. He said he loved me. I... I--" I blabbered, curling my arm up from under his to hold his shoulder.

Jisoo sighed, shaking his head and whispering into my ear, "I don't think I should continue with this facade of being your fake boyfriend anymore."

"W-What?" I was taken aback.

"We talked yesterday," he revealed. "He told me. I don't know... Your heart belongs to him, I know that. I have to stop myself before I fall too deep in."

"Jisoo-yah."

"We are still friends. Trust me. But I have to stop thinking about you in a romantic way."

I pushed myself away from him, to take a good look on my best friend's face. My heart was breaking at the thought of how much I was hurting him. I opened my mouth to say something but he smiled.

"It's okay. I'm okay. I can't force you to look at me that way. I knew what I was getting myself into."

"But I feel like--"

"Shh," he kissed the side of my cheek.

He stepped away from me, hands dropping to his sides. His gaze fell onto his shoes. My heart started thumping as a sudden realisation fired through my brain. He walked away but I grabbed his arm. He glanced at my hand and his gaze trailed up to my face.

"I've made up my mind." I blurted.

"I know. You don't have to say it out loud." He forced out a smile, I could tell. "I'll go get him."

Before I could stop him, he had run off, towards the stairs, back to the room he shared with Joo. I tried calling out to him but he didn't stop. I entered my room with a slam of the door and dived towards my bed.

WHY IS THIS GETTING ON MY NERVES?

*

Joohyuk came looking for me the next day. I had just settled down in class when he barged in and stood beside me. The early students were staring at us. I didn't want to deal with matters of the heart so early in the day, but it look