YoonRi could feel the bags under her eyes. She could literally feel the skin being pulled down by some invisible force and turning purple under the pressure. It wasn't a pleasant sensation. She couldn't remember the last time she'd showered, either. Or eaten. What time was it?

It didn't matter. The only thing in the world that mattered at that moment was hitting the submit button. And once the submit button was hit, and YoonRi's document was successfully sent, nothing in the world would matter.

Twenty-six pages in thirty-six hours, including all of the research needed to write the paper. YoonRi was a horrible procrastinator, but a great procrastinator. It was her last grade of the semester, too. The last thing she needed to do before the term was officially closed. She didn't even remember what she'd written – something about psychology, since it was for her psychology course – but it was done and...

...And successfully sent.

YoonRi stared at her computer screen for a full minute. It was only then that she realized how much her eyes hurt from staring at a computer screen for three straight days. The pain seemed far-away, though. Was it really over? Was she finally free?

It was in the midst of YoonRi's sluggish reaction that a knock came to the bedroom door. YoonRi didn't have the energy to reply, so she didn't reply. Her guest took it upon himself to poke his head in.

"YoonRi?"

Robotically, YoonRi's eyes shifted from the computer screen to the doorway, where SooHyun was creeping. After seeing that she was at least somewhat coherent, the idol made his way into the room completely, although his movements were slow and almost tentative. He shuffled his feet some before looking up. He watched YoonRi for a beat, his eyes lingering on her pinched brow, before speaking.

"How's the paper coming?" SooHyun asked quietly. He made it sound like YoonRi was slowly dying and he wanted an update on her state of decline, a scenario which wasn't all that far from the truth.

YoonRi took in a deep breath and turned back to the computer screen. "Done and sent," she answered with the exhale, letting her shoulders slump forward and melt into her torso. Suddenly the strain of only a few stolen hours of sleep was catching up with her. Still, though, she felt lighter. Whether it was more due to malnourishment or relief, she wasn't sure.

"That's great," SooHyun said. YoonRi heard his footsteps advancing, more confident this time, until she felt him come up behind her. His arms came around her in a loose hug and a kiss was planted on her cheek. "My girlfriend is such a smart, diligent university student."

YoonRi glared at him from the corner of her eye. "I'm pretty sure I failed, actually."

"That's what you always say," SooHyun said, dismissing her claim with another kiss, this one her bare shoulder, "and yet you still make Honors every semester."

YoonRi could only grumble in reply, shrugging SooHyun off when he tried to plant a third kiss on her.

"Go away," YoonRi told him in an empty tone. "I'm gross."

And she was. YoonRi felt gross, for one, and she realized it had probably been a solid three days since she'd properly eaten or bathed. She wasn't even sure if she'd brushed her teeth any more recently. Besides, if she could feel her under-eye bags then they were certainly visible. It was a good thing YoonRi hadn't looked in a mirror lately, since she would know the full extent of the damage that SooHyun was being exposed to.

"No, you're not," the idol insisted gently. He kept his distance but placed his hands on YoonRi's shoulders, kneading the flesh and practically making the abused student whimper. "You're beautiful."

Despite the ecstasy being rubbed into her, YoonRi managed to snort, albeit lamely. "SooHyun," she said, raising a hand to rub her temples. In doing so her fingers brushed her hairline, where they picked up an oily film. YoonRi curled her lip and raised the hand pointedly as proof. "I'm gross."

"No," her boyfriend urged in denial, stepping closer to her again. His navel pressed against the back of YoonRi's skull (most likely leaving a grease stain on his shirt, she imagined), and his hands extended down to her collar before sliding up to cup her jaw. His palms coaxed her head upwards until her gaze met his. "You're beautiful. Even right now when you're grumpy you're so pretty to me." His mouth turned up, showing a crooked grin. "You're too pretty for me. How did I ever get you?"

YoonRi stared at SooHyun blankly. They both must have looked ridiculous to each other from the odd angle. "Stop trying to be modest, SooHyun. I know it's just an act."

But YoonRi knew it actually wasn't an act, for the most part. SooHyun was known to joke about his looks – whether lack-there-of or abundance, depending on the day – but she knew that his self confidence was more fragile than he let on. He'd gotten better about it over the years, but YoonRi still saw him being a little too critical of himself from time to time. YoonRi honestly couldn't care any less about his abs or his teeth or his hair cut and she knew that he had a slew of true fans out there who felt the same. (Although those physical bonuses were indeed bonuses, she was willing to admit). What made a person worthy of the title of an idol came from their talent and character; what got you far in life was what you had on the inside and how well you used it.

SooHyun was the type of guy who had a lot to offer. He offered his all and then some. YoonRi often wondered how she ever got him.

Insecurity was a given, though. If you didn't face it at some point then there was something psychologically wrong with you. But love changed that, didn't it? Wasn't that part of it, how love made you fearless and vanquished any doubt? When someone really loved you, you only had to look into their eyes and you would see nothing but your own reflection, riddled with flaws but still perfect in every way.

With that in mind, YoonRi looked into SooHyun's eyes, really looked. It was a little difficult to do seriously at first, what with her practically hanging upside down and close to delirious with fatigue, but once she found what she was looking for her mind cleared of all fog.

Even when YoonRi was the grossest person in civilized Seoul (which she undoubtedly was), SooHyun still looked at her the same way he did when she was dressed to impress in diamonds and pearls. At first YoonRi didn't know how he managed it, but then she realized that the unconditional scope she saw him through went both ways. Love really was blind in its own way.

SooHyun frowned in concern, his jaw jutting out slightly. "What's wrong?"

YoonRi kept staring at him, almost wanting to see him squirm. SooHyun didn't squirm, really, but massaged with his fingers. YoonRi's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she closed them.

"Nothing," YoonRi breathed, tilting her chin more to give SooHyun better access. He took the cue and kept rubbing. "I'm just exhausted. I don't know how you guys handle your schedules and all the activities you do. I've only been at it for a few days and I'm ready to die."

SooHyun chuckled and, taking a chance, leaned down to place his lips on YoonRi's forehead. "When you get your A, you'll understand why the guys and I work so hard."

YoonRi took in a slow, deep inhale, inadvertently taking in SooHyun's clean scent. She wished she could have returned the favor and been the pretty, perfumed, perky girlfriend that he came home to at the end of a long day, but that just wasn't always possible. She also wished that she didn't have to wait so long for SooHyun to come home so often, but that was the way it was and there was no changing it. The drawbacks were part of the package, and the package was absolutely worth all of the drawbacks.

YoonRi let her breath out just as slowly as she had taken it in. She opened her eyes once her lungs were emptied, looking back up and catching SooHyun's gaze. The two stared at each other, speaking with invisible words.

YoonRi's lips parted, sticking together at first until the dried skin peeled apart. She didn't say anything right away but reached up, cupping SooHyun's jaw in her hand. He removed his touch from her in return, watching in interest.

"You must be tired too, right?" she said, her voice softer than it'd been before. There was a more pronounced rasp to it as well, and it stung a little when she used it.

SooHyun nodded. YoonRi cracked a smile.

"Let's go to bed, then," she said. "We've both earned a good night's sleep, right?"

"I have a schedule tomorrow," SooHyun answered, his tone low and full of regret. YoonRi frowned but worked quickly to brush her disappointment away. As much as she wanted a normal relationship with SooHyun, he wasn't a normal guy. He was extraordinary.

"Well, we can still get half a night's sleep together before you rise with the sun," YoonRi reasoned. She lowered her arm, spared a moment to brace herself, and then rolled her body out if her chair and onto her feet. Almost immediately, she let herself fall into SooHyun for support. He chuckled, pressing his forehead against her temple.

"I'll carry you to bed then, my baby," SooHyun told her. Despite the soreness in his own body he bent his knees, allowing YoonRi to slide into his waiting arms, and lifted her up into his chest. She sighed in content, fitting her face into his neck.

"Thank you," she told him. "You're the best boyfriend there is. You're so strong and so kind. Your heart is even bigger than your muscles. You care about other people more than you do yourself. I'm really lucky that I get to be your girlfriend. I'm really proud that I get to be your girlfriend. SooHyun, I love you."

YoonRi's words were said somewhat childishly, making them seem almost sarcastic in context. All of it, though, was as real as the blood coursing through her veins. She hoped that one day she would be able to show SooHyun just how much she meant it all. She knew that she was only one person competing with the love of thousands of fans, but somehow she was still sure that her love was stronger, or at least just different. She would find some way to prove it, too, some day.

SooHyun tried to laugh her compliments off, his discomfort obvious. YoonRi smiled into his shoulder.

"Yah," he whined, "you don't have to kiss up to me. I already love you too, YoonRi."

"I told you to stop trying to be modest," YoonRi chided.

They made it to the bed, where SooHyun deposited YoonRi up near the pillows before moving to grab the blankets from the foot of the mattress. The bed hadn't been made since YoonRi hadn't really had the mind to do so that morning. Her paper's deadline aside, YoonRi tended to slack off when ever SooHyun wasn't around to serve as a motivator for the simplest everyday things. She and SooHyun didn't live together, but even if they did their time home with each other would probably be limited to occasional sleep-overs anyway. It made YoonRi wonder about their future, if they had a future, and if their relationship would always work that way.

SooHyun didn't say anything as he pulled up the sheets, tossed one side over YoonRi, and then climbed under them for himself. While he got comfortable, YoonRi watched.

"You're still in your day clothes," she commented. She was suddenly aware that it was late at night and felt the need to whisper, like their conversation was something that should be kept intimate.

SooHyun settled himself and turned to her. "I'm fine. I don't really want to get up again now that I'm off my feet."

"Wearing your dirty clothes in my bed," YoonRi muttered to herself, tutting. SooHyun snorted.

"How long have you been wearing your clothes, YoonRi-yah?" he half accused. YoonRi groaned and covered her face with her dirty sleeves.

"I don't want to tell you."

Declaring a wordless truce, SooHyun moved in and wrapped his arm around YoonRi, pulling her into his chest. YoonRi rolled around, scooting back to put the two of them into a proper spooning position. They laid in silence.

YoonRi's eyes were still open, her mind stuck on one thing. "The lights are still on."

SooHyun hummed. YoonRi could feel the vibration of his chest through her back, which made her more aware of the heat and texture of his chest on her back. As many times as she had felt those same things, they still gave her baby butterflies.

"Ignore it," SooHyun said, his voice already sounding groggy.

YoonRi didn't budge. "Did you leave any other lights on? Did you lock the door behind you when you came in?"

"YoonRi, sleep."

"I can't sleep knowing someone could break in and kill me in my sleep."

"That's why the lights are on. They'll scare buglers away."

"Burglars are afraid of lights?"

"Burglars won't break into the one house in the building with its lights on."

"That's such a waste of electricity. I'm a college student, not an idol. I can barely afford this place as it is."

"I can pay for it."

"I don't want you to pay for it. Buy something for your mom instead. I love your mom."

"I love my mom, too." There was a brief intermission. "And I did lock the door when I came in. Just forget about the lights."

The exchange came to an end after that. SooHyun began dozing off, but YoonRi kept staring ahead of her. She waited, periodically squeezing her eyes shut before forcing them back open, until she sensed that SooHyun had fallen asleep behind her. She slid herself out of his grasp once he had, sitting up at the edge of the bed to look back at him for a moment.

"Fine, you can rest," she said under her breath as she braced herself for another move, since she felt light headed just being upright. "You can rest and I'll take care of you."

SooHyun needed someone to take care of him sometimes, and even if her body felt like it'd aged to 91 YoonRi would rise to the occasion without complaint. It was one of the smallest ways that she could show her love for SooHyun and convey the feelings that words just couldn't fully define. It was returning a sliver of the favor that SooHyun gave to the world.

YoonRi couldn't compete with the world, but more and more with each and every day SooHyun was becoming her world. It was harder to concentrate, both in school and general life, when SooHyun was away. She worried so much about his health and happiness that she had less concern for her own. She wasn't always so sloppy with her personal responsibilities, but somewhere along the line SooHyun had become her first priority. The truth was scary at times, but wonderful at others.

It was wonderful in that moment. While YoonRi dragged her feet across the room to flick off the light switch, a tired grin on her lips and tiny sparkle in her eyes, she felt more complete than she had in days. Not only because the weight of school was off of her shoulders, but because she had SooHyun safe and well and at her side. Thinking and acting like she was made her feel so much older, like she was a homely wife looking after her hard-working husband, but she welcomed the notion, and maybe one day she would welcome that reality. She was still shamefully aware of her physical state and the mess SooHyun had walked into, but her content went beyond that. She could shower and clean up her apartment tomorrow. She could put her life back together tomorrow.

Tonight, she was going to sleep in the arms of the man she loved, and there was absolutely nothing that could tarnish that.