Chapter 4: His sorrow.

“Yeobo, I’m home!” he took off his shoes, happily anticipating for his wife to greet him with a kiss. A second later, the happy smile faded from his handsome face when he looked at the silent darkness filling up his cosy home.

Oh dear, poor Yonghwa.

He the light and imagining her beloved wife greeting him and dragging him to the couch to tell some excited stories she encountered that day. Sometimes her wife would dragged him to the bed while they were making out passionately, especially when they missed each other so much.

And obviously making out session would turn to more passionate session on the bed.

It had been almost one month since she left. And he missed her. There were no passionate warm kiss for him anymore. There were no story telling episode for him anymore. There were no more warm smiles or cute laughter of his wife to fill up the house.

Yonghwa let out a sighed as he dragged his feet to the kitchen. He took the beer out from the fridge. This had been almost his routine every night after he came back from work; drinking alone except when he had meeting overnight or some other matters to attend. He had been making himself busy at work; the best distraction for him. And now that he would finally move to Seoul for his new restaurant opening, he wished he could make himself even busier so he could swallow up his sorrowfuless.

Howeve, today was an exception. No matter how hard he tried to make himself busy, he couldn’t stop thinking of his wife. He missed her so much today, he felt so lonely.

Lonely Yonghwa was feeling miserable tonight.

 Yonghwa walked into their bedroom for the first time after she left. He had been sleeping in the guest room ever since because he couldn’t bear seeing his wife’s clothes or smell those scents that reminded him of her. He was too devastated with her leaving him all alone.

He took a sip of his beer and walked to his wife’s wardrobe. He sniffed one of the dress inside the wardrobe and closed his eyes. He missed her scent. He missed everything about her. His eyes began to fill in with tears. Yonghwa took another sip of his beer and decided to walk out from the room before he burst out into tears. He didn’t want that to happen. He promised Gyu Won to be happy, he didn’t want to shed any tears again

His eyes then stopped at the blue paper bag on the bed.  The blue paper bag given by Shinhye during the funeral ceremony.

After he received the paper bag, he just left it in the room because he knew he would teared up seeing his wife’s things. Yonghwa remembered about the diary told by Shinhye. He sat on the bed and began to dig in the paper bag. There were Gyuwon’s hair band, makeups and some other stuff. Yonghwa took out the blue-white polka dot diary from the bag.

He took another sip of his beer before he flipped to the first page of the book. There was a photo of him kissing his wife during their honeymoon in Quebec. Written under the photo was, ‘My forever love. Thank you for everything.’

Yonghwa smiled lightly and flipped to the next page as he felt hot tears filling up his eyes. There were photos of Gyu Won and her family during Chuseok day, and another photo of Gyu Won with Shinhye during their high school day. Both were beautiful in his eyes, but Gyu Won shined the most for him. ‘The blessings I earn, they are such amazing people,’ was written under each photo.

Gyu Won cherished her husband, family and friend. She always thought them as her blessings in this world.

Yonghwa sighed, taking one big sip from his beer. He closed his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. He shook his head and decided that he still need time from all of these. He missed her so much and sitting there reading and going through their sweet memories would just torture him soul more and more.

Yonghwa need to escape.

He closed the book and lifted it to put it on the desk, but an envelope fell from the book. Yonghwa took the envelope with his name written on it. It was his wife’s handwriting. He took out the letter from the envelope just to make sure.

Yes, it was a hand-written letter from his wife. Dated one day before she left.

‘Dear my Yongie,

If you are reading this letter, I must have gone to a better place. The place that I can finally be happy without any worries, the place that I can finally love someone without any fear. And that’s you, it’ll always be you.

Thank you, my dear, for everything that you’ve done for me. Thank you for giving me the happiness that I thought I’ll never have. Thank you for crying with me. Thank you for always having faith in me. Thank you for always staying by my side.

But now that I’m gone, you deserve to be happy too, more than when you were with me. You too, deserve to be loved by someone who can give you happiness without any worries. You’ve shed enough tears for me, you’ve worried enough, and you’ve fear enough. Now it’s the time for you to be free from all of these and find new love to start a new life.

I left my diary for you to remember our moments together. I kept all of our happiest memories together in my diaries and you can always read them whenever you miss me. I kept all my diaries inside the pink box under the drawer. I hope our memories can keep you happy, but I know it’s impossible. That why I have a wish for you to grant me.

Yonghwa ah, there’s only one wish I have for y